Your experience of culture shock in the Philippines

Sam40 wrote:

Humm! What culture? I am still looking for it.

Do: Keep your luggage ready to go.
Don't: Don't trust anyone.

LOVE IT!!!

Sam40 wrote:

Humm! What culture? I am still looking for it.

Do: Keep your luggage ready to go.
Don't: Don't trust anyone.

I couldn't get out fast enough...

ron2 wrote:

Where are all of the foreigners that have found a happy place and enjoy their new ives in the Philippines?

They have no use for this forum.

ron2 wrote:

Where are all of the foreigners that have found a happy place and enjoy their new ives in the Philippines?

Most woke up from a fantasy...

madhatter868 wrote:

Lets talk about typical Expats with Filipino mates ok,

Let's do that.

Foreigners are considered like walking ATM's here. Because one can't change how others think, expats should just accept that this is how they are perceived. Even if the expat didn't know about this before coming here, it would be soon be apparent to him that this is how locals would think of him once he's here.

Yet, expats who are typically in their golden years, and are very much aware that they're perceived as a walking ATM, still decide to get involved with a poor young girl with an extended family of meager means, or perhaps with family members without jobs and are lazy, or kids from an "ex" who does not give support (or unbeknownst to the expat, she and the ex might still be together).  They didn't question why their young woman would want to spread her legs to a man old enough to be her father, or even grandfather.

The expat knew the warning signs and heard advice from those who have been there. But ignores them. Sometimes, it's like watching "Who wants to be a millionaire?" Do you think such a woman would make a good mate? Ask the audience: "No!" Phone a friend: "No!" 50-50: "No!" And yet the expat answered: "Yes!"  (Typical!)

Typically, they are happy at first, and affirms that the wife is "genuine", that he's the exception to the law of probability. But after a short time, the expat complains of getting bored, of not having being able to have a discussion about world events, of the extended family asking for money left and right, of their wife leaving them and taking his money with her, etc., saying he was deceived, lied to, taken advantage of, etc. So, who's to blame here?

My assistant was joking the other day: Why would a young wife want to have vigorous love making to a much older rich man? So he would die of a heart attack and she will have everything. Maybe there is some truth to that.

So, when a young woman agrees to spread her legs to an antique ATM machine, question it!  Don't get into such a relationship. You've been warned.

FilAmericanMom wrote:

madhatter868 wrote:

Lets talk about typical Expats with Filipino mates ok,

Let's do that.

Foreigners are considered like walking ATM's here. Because one can't change how others think, expats should just accept that this is how they are perceived. Even if the expat didn't know about this before coming here, it would be soon be apparent to him that this is how locals would think of him once he's here.

Yet, expats who are typically in their golden years, and are very much aware that they're perceived as a walking ATM, still decide to get involved with a poor young girl with an extended family of meager means, or perhaps with family members without jobs and are lazy, or kids from an "ex" who does not give support (or unbeknownst to the expat, she and the ex might still be together).  They didn't question why their young woman would want to spread her legs to a man old enough to be her father, or even grandfather.

The expat knew the warning signs and heard advice from those who have been there. But ignores them. Sometimes, it's like watching "Who wants to be a millionaire?" Do you think such a woman would make a good mate? Ask the audience: "No!" Phone a friend: "No!" 50-50: "No!" And yet the expat answered: "Yes!"  (Typical!)

Typically, they are happy at first, and affirms that the wife is "genuine", that he's the exception to the law of probability. But after a short time, the expat complains of getting bored, of not having being able to have a discussion about world events, of the extended family asking for money left and right, of their wife leaving them and taking his money with her, etc., saying he was deceived, lied to, taken advantage of, etc. So, who's to blame here?

My assistant was joking the other day: Why would a young wife want to have vigorous love making to a much older rich man? So he would die of a heart attack and she will have everything. Maybe there is some truth to that.

So, when a young woman agrees to spread her legs to an antique ATM machine, question it!  Don't get into such a relationship. You've been warned.

Typical? Maybe, funny absolutely.     I told a single friend who will be retiring here and thought that at 59 he had woke up as the new Adonis based upon all the flirtations he was experiencing from smiling young ladies. I sent him numerous accounts from miscellaneous expats recounting their less than flowery experiences with their impoverished 20 year old wives and families. He flirted anyway and invited his new love to his Facebook page where after his brain kicked in and the wallet closed she contacted all his Facebook friends and family with some eye opening accounts of their chats. Oops, Trial by fire I guess. My wife and I simply said we warned you and I asked him this. When you were 20 or 25 and cruising the malls or clubs, were you eyeballing and drooling over all the elderly women? No, then why do you think they are eyeballing a paunchy, balding, arthritic near 60 year old with failing vision?  Watch out for those trees!  Are there exceptions? Maybe so, but at what cost? Unless of course your interest includes baubles, beads, iPods, the latest trendy clothes and a new gadget every month.
For those with a successful relationship with a woman 40 years or so your junior, apologies in advance for my ignorance.   

vetretreat wrote:

"When you were 20 or 25 and cruising the malls or clubs, were you eyeballing and drooling over all the elderly women?"

TeeJay I can say this when I was in my late 20's I had seen many older women who were in their 50's and even mid 60's whom had taken good care of themselves which I most undoubtedly would had wanted to be with but was to shy to hit on them...That is why now being in my mid 60's I exercise regularly, eat right and take good care of my skin so my much younger wife sees me in the same light at I did those beautiful, fit, healthy older women back then...Women I could had easily fallen in love with, instead of hooking up with a young girl, so vane and having her nose in her cell phone all day long. In fact at age 29 I had lived with a beautiful very sexy woman of 49 who worked as a model for McCall magazine..To many Filipinos and Expats who visit this blog just assume all are fat, balding, arthritic, near blind and I can assure you that is not always the case..

Too bad you didn't stick with that 49 year old, she'd be in her mid 80's now.

dondee31 wrote:

I am not pleased when Filipinos defend racist, sexist and just bad behavior by blaming it on the old, fat, decrepit foreigners. But that is their culture. We are talking about surprises in culture, and here is one for sure. Lying to people is accepted here, especially foreigners.  I find Filipinos will lie about things even when they do not have too. They seem to be raised being taught lying is ok. I am also surprised at the lack if family values here in a country that prides itself on the strength of family ties. My wife's family would just as easily stab their own blood relatives in the back as they would me. The culture here surprises me when it allows men to have gfs, lovers, etc., when they are married. How Christian is that? The culture here allows men to leave their family with no support and then start another family in another town. I am surprised that the culture here accepts incest as an acceptable behavior.
And the list goes on and on.
As soon as the visa clears we are leaving. The "culture" here is not for me and I do not want it for my four year old son either. Like I said before, the Philippines is only for Filipinos, foreigners need not apply.

While building our home we found that most people wanting to work and in need of work would say that they had expertise in an area they knew nothing about. To circumvent this we only hired people with a proven ability that we were able to authenticate through other builders or craftsman, tedious, but it worked.
I have found that in going to a store and asking if an item is in stock or available the employee will say no and we then find it in another part of the store. We now simply look ourselves even after being told no,though in some cases a caring and helpful employee will find the item for us. We have adjusted accordingly.
The people we live around, we have found to be helpful and friendly and our neighborhood is very peaceful and quiet, is that the norm? For us, yes, for others obviously not.
My wife's family are self sufficient aside from her older sister who has health problems and we gladly offer our help monthly. The rest of the family including her many relatives are hard working with good families and ask us for nothing, do we trust them all, no, because there are so many and even my wife has little contact with. But as I said they ask us for nothing.
Her bother and his family are exceptional people and he, his wife and their four boys are all focused on their family and their futures through education and hard work. Simply good people. Are we fortunate, yes, and it is sad that so many foreigners have experienced such negativity.
Her younger sister also has a wonderful family in Canada, all of whom are doing well. Her husband is a supervisor with the local power company and a great husband to her and their children.
Without making excuses and corruption aside, impoverished people do and say things they may not if more opportunities were available to them to build a successful life. As if the case anywhere in the world, some are simply bums, drunks, druggies or thieves.
My wife's father was one of those who chose to abandon his family in Luzon and begin another in Mindanao. Her mother died of tuberculosis when she was 14 years old, she quit school and continued to raise her sisters and brother all of whom turned out very well, a testament to her character, determination and family values. She was assisted with rice and other necessities through other family members and took on odd jobs in return for the help while caring for the needs of her siblings whom continued with their educations with her support and hard work, she became the mother. She is a very impressive woman who educated herself and when we moved to the states she was highly valued and promoted in her place of employment and to this day her co-workers and employer stay in contact with her, she was missed by all who knew her.
While I have found a lot of dishonesty, I have also found a lot of honesty. We separate the wheat from the chaff and move on.
We enjoy our lives here and neither of us are drinkers or partiers and find our pleasure in each others company and the simple pleasures our surroundings provide. Things are not as convenient as the states but we have all that we need and want.
I am acutely aware of how I am viewed by some in the Philippines, those we avoid and ignore. We also have a few friends we trust and enjoy being around and we trust them with reason to do so. If we are the exception then we are blessed to be.
All the best to you Dondee31 and your family in your new home.