Friends & family back home

Hi Sapphos,

I'm sure you are not the only one !
Most of the people do not understand why we want to see and discover something different.

I don't know if it's worst to be from USA, but for what I know of USA a lot of americans are convinced that they live in the most beautiful country in the earth :-)
(don't worry they are not the only ones ;-) )

When I moved to Canada the questions were:
why are you moving there? (It's cold!) You have a job, don't you? What will you do with all your stuffs (you're crazy)? My favourite one was: have you met somebody there?

Now, it's: why don't you have the quebecois accent? You'll live there for all your life? Aren't you cold?

You're definitely not the only one to go through these questions !

I am from a small nice and sunny city from the south of France, and not that much people can understand me there. "why do you want to go somewhere else? don't you feel good here?"

I can't just imagine people talking about me: "this guy is very strange?!"

Well frankly, we don't have to worry about those questions, I just feel that the experience to live in another country is unique it doesn't mean I don't like my country, it just means I want to see something else ...

Does anybody else have problems reassuring friends and family "back home" that it isn't because of something they've done that we live abroad? I just really like being an expat, and going back to my home country to visit.

It's just that sometimes I feel like I'm being made to feel guilty for living the lifestyle I lead. Does anyone have any advice on this? Are there any expat books or info available for the people who are "left behind" as it were?

I think it's just a matter of time and communication. Everybody should be able to understand that you're moving because you've got a lot of things to see, understand, learn ... from our world!

I also often feel guilty because I am the one who left home. I don't know if any book exists about that but if there's one I'll read it with pleasure...

When we moved to Mexico, everyone figured it was because WE had done something wrong :-)! Now, half of them think we're crazy...why wouldn't we want to live in the US...it's the most wonderful place in the world?? And the other half are jealous and asking questions about how to do it themselves. One of my friends says the word "emigration" comes up a lot in conversation these days, right after "George Bush", "police state", "elections" and other similar happy subjects.

Before I left the USA to live in Germany. My boss's boss told me,
"You've learned English for 20-some odd years. Why would you want to start to learn another language?"

It's definitely hard to explain to others why we move to another country when their own fears come out in their questioning.  It will take some time and reasurance on my part, I guess, to soathe the worried minds of my friends and family. Sometimes that's a double challenge in itself apart from learning another culture.

I haven't actually gone through this quite as much. But then, I only left last September. It was a bit difficult after Christmas, though. I kept talking happily about "home" (the UK) and that didn't seem to go down too well with my dad. So yes, sometimes I feel guilty when I'm having such a good time over here. Sometimes I even keep things (positive things) to myself because I feel guilty.

But this is not going to ever make me leave the UK. I'm very happy here. I'm not sure, however, how this is going to play out once my family discover that I'm serious about staying here. My parents know but my uncle, aunt and cousins still seem to think that I'm just staying for a year.

But then, I might be lucky because one of my cousins has done the exact some thing. She went to London about ten years ago. So, in a way, she set a precedent and at least one branch of our family knows that staying in the UK is actually a very real option.

Hi,

When moving from France to Quebec, few years ago, people thought  that I was crazy, ... Some thought I could not stay so far away from family and friends, more than few months... They asked why I wanted to leave all to go in a foreign country.

But, just 2 years ago, when I told that we were moving to China, it was totally different. People thought we were lucky, we could travel, visit places they won't see. Funny, isn't it? I don't know why the reactions were so different... French VS Quebecers?