How Friends are Important in our Life?

1002POSTS

14 years ago

When we move to a new place where we don't know anyone, we keep struggling how to fight loneliness and we realize how important friends in our life.

Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.Anais Nin

Would appreciate to hear from all of you, your opinion in this regard and how friends are playing a major role in your life specially when you are abroad.

Regards

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tsahpina Member

23POSTS

14 years ago

i have found out that,sadly,in greece,and maybe all over the world,when one is a foreigner,and probably this counts for locals too,the locals and even the foreigners,so its possibly all people everywhere,want one for their friend and more than friend,only or more,if one is young,beautiful,rich and important socially.so it actually menans that human values are their age,looks,money and social status.
this finding of mine goes well in accordance with findings of two major polls done in europe and america with very large samples of people of all ages and both sexes,who were asked what characteristics they want in their mate,so they answered,in the following order,that they want:

1.age of the candidate,according with their wish,which is for men anything from 5-55 or even more,as younger as he can get,yrs younger woman,and for women 5 yrs older man

2.looks

3.money

4.social status

follows a big gap before the following

5.education and knowledge

6.social graces

7.and finally,at the last place,inside person,meaning character,smarts,kindness,awareness,etc

so why would this be different when one is looking for friends?!

VidoDido ViP

1002POSTS

14 years ago

Hi tsahpina,

With all due respect to your opinion and to the studies you mentioned in your post; but this is not always the case.

As I said before in one of my earlier posts, true good Friends are hard to find, difficult to leave and impossible to Forget; Making them nowadays is not an easy task and always require a lot of time if you are selective and looking for a real friend regardless of age, look, money, social status ... etc.

Friendships are like flowers, they grow with time and can stem into something very beautiful; and If you don't take care of them they will wilt away; therefore to take any friendship to further steps, you need to be up for help when required, you have to be all ears when your friend wants to talk and you have to be the one your friend turn to when his/her spirit needs a lift.

Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true Friends leave footprints in your heart; so take your time and enjoy making new friends.

Cheers,

tsahpina Member

23POSTS

14 years ago

hello uuu from bahrein!
actually i have 'been' in bahrein. many yrs ago when i was 24 and now i am much older in body and of the same age in spirit,i was travelling from belgrade in serbia to sydney australia as an escort to a group if immigrants to australia who didnt speak any english,on a quantas charter flight,and my plane made it first stop in bahrein,the next one being in sigapour.so i disembarked on the airpot only without actually entering yr country offically.i loved the airport.it was nigight time,a 30' stop.
back to our theme.
i actually agree with u but this does not make my statement untrue.in the beginning when one meets another,the issue of age money and social status can be an obstacle from them wanting to meet for another time,except if they are extraordinary as inner people and education/knowledge.understandable.
as an example ill offer u an acquaintance with an old gypsy man with no education and shabby and all that.almost a street man.u would not want to meet him again.nor would he want to meet u again,u who belong to a quite different world.everything is an obstacle.he is 65 and u are 30,he is moneyless u kinda rich or at least well of,u have a computer and internet,he is illiterate,he has no manners.and has a genuine character kindness and all that.only yr and his looks dont play a role
i hope i am not making u sad.
but,in searching for a sexual/love mate,what i said is absolutely true,ant has been proven by these two major polls.and all psychologists know that.but people love to delude themselves
be well but try less delusion...

tsahpina Member

23POSTS

14 years ago

and i didnt even mention religion and other such stuff like smoking...

HaileyinHongKong ViP

4723POSTS

14 years ago

The hardest part about moving to Hong Kong was leaving my friends behind. I would have never done it if we couldn't keep in touch online. Even though they're very important to me, I've found that we speak less and less as time goes on.

On the other hand, I have new friends here. My best friend in the world is someone I met here.

Making new friends is easy if you go out and live your life. If you do the things you enjoy doing, you'll naturally meet people who enjoy doing the same things. If you lock yourself away in front of the TV and computer, you won't meet anyone.

VidoDido ViP

1002POSTS

14 years ago

Hi HaileyinHongKong,

I totally agree with you

Sometimes I feel it difficult to complain that I don't have friends specially when moved to a new place where I don't have any. Unless we go out, socialize, interact and talk to people around us will never have friends.

Cheers

tsahpina Member

23POSTS

14 years ago

VidoDido wrote:
Hi HaileyinHongKong,

I totally agree with you

Sometimes I feel it difficult to complain that I don't have friends specially when moved to a new place where I don't have any. Unless we go out, socialize, interact and talk to people around us will never have friends.

Cheers

--------------------------------------
of course i agree with all of u that u cant have friends if u dont ssocialize but i was talking about situations when u do socialize and meet people,then the findings of the two major polls are true,thou looks play lesser to no role in friendships than in romantic encounters.but age money social status and education play major role in friendships too instead of only inner person.

VidoDido ViP

1002POSTS

14 years ago

Hi tsahpina,

What you said reflect your personal view and should be respected however of my disagreement with you.

For me, Age, Money and social status does not play any role while making friends.

Thank you

tsahpina Member

23POSTS

14 years ago

#10

yes it may reflect my personal point as much yr view reflects yrs.
the point is not what u and i think and do but what majority of people thinks and does.and i from my experience and the science books on the topic,have come to the conclussion that majority of people do no want poor,of low social status etc people but exactly the opposite.everyone wants for their friends people who are a little lower or just a little better than themselves on these traits.it is sad that it is so,but science and polls have found this to be true.its obvious that u are not like them,but u are a nice exception to the rule.
and since u seem not to want to see the ugly truth,ill stop here.
delusion may be nice for u but not for me.and u are young so its more natural to be optimistic around the issue of motifs for friendship than is for me who am at some age when i want to know the truth about society,and not to lie to myself about the niceness of human nature.and when when romantic liaisons are in question are concerned,the thing is even worse.everybody wants their match to be good looking have money and good social status.statistics say this.
what about that? do statistics and major anonymous polls lie?!

Suzie Que Contributor

119POSTS

14 years ago

#11

i like that quote and have it engraved on a bookmark actually. well said.

it's simple, but another i like: "Go often to your friend's home for weeds choke up the unused path"

to me it signifies the welcome and sense of belonging friends extend to one another.

friendship to me is a treasured gift. especially when it's unconditional. regardless of life stage, success or failure, when someone has your best interest at heart, is loyal to you and always maintains integrity with you. that's a treasured friendship.

a friend brings out the best in us and often knows us more intimately than any other in our lives. we are free to be ourselves without judgment.

i would rather one true friend, than a thousand acquaintances.

cheers,

VidoDido ViP

1002POSTS

14 years ago

#12

Hi Suzie and Thanks for your contribution

I couldn't agree more with your words ... You know? -Sometimes the problems we face in life is a very good tool to "Screen" your friends to know which one is true and which one is not. Surprisingly you may come up out of these problems with new friends who leave a real mark on your life.

That's why I keep saying that making friends have nothing to do with who are these friends; but how you find them by your side, up for help when you need them and listening to you when you would like to express yourself; That's what real friends are here for

Cheers,

tsahpina Member

23POSTS

14 years ago

#13

what u people are saying here is nice wishful thinking vut is simply not supported by statistics.people make friends under the same criteria as when they look for romantic match,except for the looks.and even there they want a normal look that resembles in quality and quantity to thirs,so that they dont feel quilty for someones ugliness if they are much more good looking than the friend,or jealous if the friend is much more good looking.
this is what statistics psychologists and big poll say,and what u say here happens in unexistent idel world.in utopia.

HaileyinHongKong ViP

4723POSTS

14 years ago

#14

It's a lot easier to make new friends when you're optimistic and positive. I think if you live in a negative world and think everyone has some ulterior motive, you're probably not going to make many friends.

ericwt Serial expat

280POSTS

14 years ago

#15

Friends are important in my life because they give my life balance.

Sometimes I am so focused on my life and goals that I forget that sometimes it is just nice to hang out and talk or go outside and do something with others for enjoyment.

All work and no play is no fun.

I learn more about myself when I interact with others.

A meeting of minds can often solve problems and give needed clarity.

My cat may be highly intelligent but the answer to any question is "Meow". That makes for some very short conversations.

It would be so easy to isolate myself from the world, but I get so much more in life when I am interacting with others.

HaileyinHongKong ViP

4723POSTS

14 years ago

#16

Welcome back, Eric.

ericwt Serial expat

280POSTS

14 years ago

#17

Thanks Hailey.

The jungle has been crazy lately.

I have been sending people to your blog.

They think you are great.

Keep it up.

HaileyinHongKong wrote:
Welcome back, Eric.

HaileyinHongKong ViP

4723POSTS

14 years ago

#18

So you're responsible for the one comment in 12 years. It got so busy, I almost disabled it.

ericwt Serial expat

280POSTS

14 years ago

#19

No I did not comment on your blog. I have very little to add to your site. Seems it stands on its own.

But I did refer several people on an expat/PT site to your blog.

I thought it was a good example of someone who wanted to experience living in another culture, and unlike most who just sat back and dreamed and did nothing, you took action.

But if it will make you feel better I will give you a comment. I enjoyed your story about health care in Hong Kong.

Please remember,someone hitting google plus on your blog is a positive comment and positively effects traffic.

HaileyinHongKong ViP

4723POSTS

14 years ago

#20

I don't really pay much attention. If someone says something I'll respond - if there's something to respond to, but I don't live or die on comments. The whole point of it is so I can say absolutely anything. I think if a lot of people read it I'd probably start to censor myself - and completely defeat the purpose.

stumpy Laos Expert

18028POSTS

14 years ago

#21

Friends are an important part of anyone's life.

To make new friends in another country you have to have a positive atitude and want to make contact with others. I have found this in many of the countries I have lived and worked in and I still keep in contact with some of them now.

reksel Member

15POSTS

13 years ago

#22

I get by with a little help from my friends - John Lennon

Primadonna Jordan Expert

5334POSTS

13 years ago

#23

VidoDido wrote:
As I said before in one of my earlier posts, true good Friends are hard to find, difficult to leave and impossible to Forget; Making them nowadays is not an easy task and always require a lot of time if you are selective and looking for a real friend regardless of age, look, money, social status ... etc.

Friendships are like flowers, they grow with time and can stem into something very beautiful; and If you don't take care of them they will wilt away; therefore to take any friendship to further steps, you need to be up for help when required, you have to be all ears when your friend wants to talk and you have to be the one your friend turn to when his/her spirit needs a lift.

Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true Friends leave footprints in your heart; so take your time and enjoy making new friends.

Your words have touched me.
My experiences is that the people are curious of foreigners and they want to know them better. Also you need more creative and initiative to make friends because it is a little bit different when you are abroad.
And ofcourse it is nice to have friends with you can speak your own language.

Cheers,

HaileyinHongKong ViP

4723POSTS

13 years ago

#24

I read a poll on friends once. Chandler won.

gella8 Active member

40POSTS

13 years ago

#25

yes, friends are the best if you find good ones. wish i had that many or close friends. people are too phony these days but i can give people the benefit of the doubt. i am still looking for good friends and hopefully will find some.

hutkgjf Guest

0POSTS

13 years ago

#26

I guess nowadays the only one who cares about your welfare is YOU. People are just focused on money-making. Probably some times you're better off without them.

tsahpina Member

23POSTS

12 years ago

#27

finally there is somebody who knows the truth and has guts to say it openly. congratulations. of course its only uuu who care about uuu. and yr motehr. sometimes yr father and sibling. sometimes. but mother is the only one who really loves u. and u are going to love yr child as nobody else will. u will love it more than u did yr mother. this means that our children dont love us as we love them. sad but true. everything else is lies people say to feel better...

HaileyinHongKong ViP

4723POSTS

12 years ago

#28

Do only people who agree with you tell the truth?

julianaa Active member

39POSTS

12 years ago

#29

Totally agree with you Susie.

owais.truefriend Contributor

143POSTS

12 years ago

#30

Friends are our life, no one can live happily without any friends or family members.

Nagina Active member

89POSTS

12 years ago

#31

Friends are very important in our life. We choose them ourselves ... they are not thrust on us like family members. Friends are our reflection....

rodolfo taurino Member

18POSTS

12 years ago

#32

Hi Guys
Friend need , search for friend,can't live witout friend hei about put your energy and love to your family , wife husband sons , isnt' enough ?
this are the mst trusted friend anyone can have
Sorry that I don't agreed with all this cry for friend needed

Dilkumar New member

7POSTS

12 years ago

#33

yes we meet different type of friend while we move from different place from earth either it is from home to school school to tour or any thing else we met new friend in new place. in my thought all the friends are equally important in different field so we have to put good relation with them so we can get different help in life as a friend

Javetta Member

12POSTS

12 years ago

#34

A Friend in need is a friend indeed.

HaileyinHongKong ViP

4723POSTS

12 years ago

#35

A friend in need is exactly the type of person who wants you to help them move.

phillipsshawn New member

8POSTS

12 years ago

#36

True. A friend in need is a friend indeed. When we had shifted to new place me and my brother missed our friends but sooner we made new friends at new place.

BenjaminVasosky Contributor

139POSTS

12 years ago

#37

Friends are to share problems and solutions...crying and laughing together. They are the only people who I can trust apart from family and ones I am most comfortable spending time with. We understand and advise each other as much as possible...there is unlimited description to friendship.

expatanswers Member

20POSTS

12 years ago

#38

friends are very important but only if they are real. one or two good friends who will stay with you during the bad times are worth far more than a hundred who are only there during the good times.

HaileyinHongKong ViP

4723POSTS

12 years ago

#39

Fake friends are good, too. Especially if the police are involved.

yishiqing379 New member

5POSTS

12 years ago

#40

hi,

so you are living in HongKong, hope to see you in person if i go to HK for a tour.

BTW, i live and work in Beijing, China now. have you been here before? it is a nice city, if i would see.

best regards,