Hi Megan,
You haven't started any arguments here. It's just that the whole subject is so much more complex and even the authorities are so confused about it than you can possibly imagine. We've all come to understand that long ago.
In some states it's actually a nightmare for expats to get married. You have absolutely no idea!
I just got through with dealing with a case where a member finally managed to get married, applied for his VIPER Permanent Visa and the Delegado at the Policia Federal refused to accept his visa application because his visa stay expired a week before the application. He told the member he'd have to leave Brazil and apply for the visa in his home country.
The Delegado was absolutely wrong, even the Ministry of Justice website makes specific reference to such a situation. Despite this fact the Delegado violated Art. 226 of the Federal Consititution in doing so.
The big problem here Megan, and I'm sure you'll soon experience this yourself is that NOBODY knows exactly what they're doing, not in the Cartório, not even in the Federal Police.