Nature of Turkish guy

Hi guys. In this day and age of covid, I met my now fiancé online and he is Turkish. From Kusadasi. I've been 3 times to visit as it's far easier than him coming here right now but he is in process of visit visa to U.K. what I will say is we have been together 9 months. I have children from a previous relationship of 21 years. He is 40 and I am 43. He worked bar and hotel work most his life so never really settled down with anyone seriously. When I went over I stayed with him and his mum, she calls me daughter. I've spoken to his sister. His neighbours know me. He gave up bar work for me because we would fight over my trust issues, because of his lively past. But when I am with him I can see the real him. We shop together, walk together, it's all kind of new for him and he said his life changed when he met me. We are now engaged, he tattooed my name and I did his(crazy maybe but I love it). I still need to ask though, these are all good signs right? Meeting family and friends and talking with sister. He's told me his family back in village will buy me gold bracelets for when we marry and they all know me
-@fireflowermk

Can you please update us

Hello Curiouschick,

Welcome to Expat.com

The last time this member visited the forum was almost a year ago

Let's hope fireflowermk will get to see your message.

By the way, are you in the same position right now?

Since you are new, feel free to tell us more about you.

Cheers,

Cheryl

Expat.com team

Hello, I met a turkish guy when I was on a holiday. He's from bursa and a year younger than me. I'm confused over this guy because to me he's like hot and cold. He sent me his picture the first time we texted (Mind you, my friend helped me asked for his number so I made the first move) then deleted them saying he accidentally sent them. I asked him to send it back, he did and now sometimes he does send me his pictures randomly.

I just wonder one thing, he sometimes send me a white heart when I compliment his pictures or at random times. What does it means? He's 20. Sometimes when I compliment him out of the blue, he return the same. He even asked me if I like him and I was drowsy since I just woke up and said yes. I asked him back and he replied the same. What kind of a person he really is?

He also sometimes showed me what he was doing or random pictures of where he is at.

seems like a long distance romance in the making.you guys are doin fine Lol😄 It all depends what you have in mind, I would say go with the flow.

@IcyBev From my experience go forward with extreme caution. Of course, there are good men here but the majority of them that I have talked to have no qualms about cheating openly in front of their wives.

@Curiouschick good news. Don't worry.

@Kate1818

I e net a Turkish Guy but he is younger than me he is so lovely

He is serious but age is difficult for me

How will it work ?

I met this turk on my holiday, he is security in my hotel and from the first time we met I fell in love. We have spent everyday for the last 2 weeks together and I have evan met his family (aunt + uncle)

He has asked me to marry him and I said yes but I need to go back to England to get documents.

I'm worried that while waiting for documents he will no longer want to marry me 😕

Be wary my friend met a guy years ago anyway she met his family and friends went to his hometown. Turned out he had a Turkish girlfriend and they were engaged. Basically he and his family just used her. So keep your eyes open don't send money or gifts.. hope it works out and is genuine for u

@Anna Maria 79 I heard same happening with my friend's sister in law.

@Zill fake love 😫

Hi,

I've been with a Turkish man for a year and months now. We met in dating app. We haven't meet because he is still Turkey while I am here in Manila. He is married and have child. He told me that he don't love her and he just marry her because his mom ask him to have a child and be married.

Things are not going good between us now. I feel he is lying to me about things. What are your thoughts about this? Can he have divorce there? Coz I been waiting for a long time, I don't want to waste time anymore.

Hello 3ve77,

Sorry to say, but you have so many red flags here. Please stop waiting and wasting your time. Carry on with your life and find someone nice for you.

All the best

Bhavna

@3ve777 Move on.... Man won't keep you waiting if he loves you.... They can only have one wife according Turkish law, FYI

@fazshan they can't do divorce?

Hello all!

I am actually not much an active user of the portal however this topic dropped to my mail and could not stop reading this interesting topic.

I myself is a Turkish guy who is married with a foreigner already 2 years, after 3 years of dating/seeing.

Well, first of all there 85millions of peep in Turkey and it is a very diverse country. I mean by that is south to north, east to the west you will different kind of culture/ppl and yes it does vary a lot I would say. To be honest as a tourist you don't get to understand the rest of the country just because you visited Istanbul or Antalya whatsoever. That's why in Turkey we ask first a person where they are from so then you will have an understanding of them or basically which prejudice thoughts you should have

Even though you visit the whole country, I think it wouldn't be wise to deduct some stereotypical behaviors and expect them to be applied to all men in there, just like anywhere else in world.

For example, those young fellows that propose to you on a 2nd date who you met in a hotel could be very romantic to a European or an American, and also very strange. I don't know any Turkish women that got happily married right after 2nd date if you really need to hear.

I think people are just being people anywhere. Those men might be trying to just get laid, just by showing lots of care and love after meeting you which is expected by some Turkish women, or they might be really falling into you. Noone can know other then you.

My advise would be, do not try to convince yourself aa he is like this because of culture, aa he made me meet his mom so he must love me because it is very important to his culture etc. It only will mislead and you will not enjoy your decision when someone keeps your kid away from you. Y'all are supposed to be adult who can make the right decision with the correct reasons.

Obviously, culture brings some certain things to your character if you have only lived in your own nation. But in the end, you are talking about committing to living a life together with a total stranger. I think before you make your marriage documents ready, better if you take some more time to know a person instead deciding after a couple drunk nights out or free sightseeing/car trips. Take no-one's answer here if it is yes that guy is just great to live together go girl marry! It should be only your decision.

@3ve777 yes you can get a divorce in Turkey. I am not quite sure how much does it make sense to wait on the queue for a men that is thousands of km away, and you have never meet in person. That is your business though.

@dncole4156 You give good advice. Good wisdom shown by you 

Yes agree that cultures are different.

I remember when I first started visiting Turkey in 1999.

Unlike young guys from the UK, Turkish young men had good physiques, a tan, decent hair, great teeth and they could dance 🕺 😀

On every flight I was on there was at least one teenage girl that had fallen for a Turkish young man (probably more). I stayed in touch with two of the families on social media and in both cases.

1) Turkish man moved to the UK.

2) They married UK girl.

3) They were abusive and/or unfaithful

4) They got divorced.

Effectively IMO they just pulled out the charm in order to gain a visa. But this wasn't exclusively a Turkish thing and I know at least 3 english women (some in their 50's) that had the same experience with younger African men. So it's not just a Turkish male thing.

Weirdly I was speaking to 2 Turkish guys at my gym just last week and they both expressed that they'd rather live in Thailand 🇹🇭 or the Philippines 🇵🇭 than the UK or Turkey.

My views are if you meet someone and fall in love then

A) it's the love that's important.

B) They should be happy that you live together in their own country as much as yours.

C) Neither of you should be in a relationship.

D) They should have strong relationships with their parents and children.

Just my personal views of course.

I meant to add, don't meet anyone that works in the entertainment sector such as Bars and clubs*.

Also hotel staff can't date customers, not sure if this applies to security, but usually out there they are resort employees and not contractors.

*Best exampled by me chatting to male club staff in Altinkum, they were sadly running a competition to see who could sleep with the most female tourists in a season, the person winning was up to 27! He was a bit distressed at the time as two of his previous 'conquests' from the year before we arriving on the same plane the next day.

@tashaaddi

You need to offer some more details than you have.

When you say 'Turkish male' it doesn't indicate you know them well.

My advice is that you should avoid anything do do with money or finance's 💰 with some random. 🤔

Thanks for the clarification.

So your his girlfriend for the 2-4 weeks you soend out on holiday in Turkey?

It does sound a little suspect to me as how could you open a UK bank account in his name in the UK?

Unless he wants it opened in your name and send you the card and passwords etc. That would be even more suspect

May I ask your age and his and how you met?

I think it best I let others reply as am slightly biased .

I know of just as many successful relationships as failed ones, weirdly they are always Turkish male/European female... never reversed.  Also all of the ones that have succeeded have exclusively been where they settled in Turkey.

You must have a great job to allow you 12 weeks off in 10 months! 😀

@fireflowermk Perhaps off topic, but how can it be to leave relationship with children, you made your choice at the time, good and bad. Why did you marry and made promises?

@Kate1818 I'm dating a Turkish man and haven't been dating long and he already wants us to get married me get my name on his estate and by December move in what do you think

@heatherhutchins1982

Hi Heather,

Am guessing youre in your 40's, some questions

1) how old is he and what does he do?

2) where are you from?

3) His/your intention to live in Turkey?

4) How did you meet?

He lives in Los Angeles CA I'm in NC and I am 40 an he is 35

So you are both US citizens and have citizenship?

@dncole4156 of course you are right 👍

Thanks, may God protect you.

Hello everyone,

I would request members not to generalise ! Generalisation is not helpful in certain context like this one.

All the best

Bhavna

I have no empathy for those go into marriage and have regrerts after, I think in all religions that is a commitment for life in good and bad times.

Marriage is a serious thing, but I am hapily married for more than 20 yrs.

Your choice and take consequences, having said that being married, .. (you loved, but after a few years you do not accept negative things??)

This is NOT about Turkish men (why did you not investigate before)

I am a very simple man

1. If you marry (can be in EU, US or Turkey) it is for good and alo BAD times, please do not complain afterwards, you made your choice and assessment to marry.
2. If you have a child from new relationship, as per 1 lucky or not with a good man or wife.
3. Think before making serious decisions, not only on emotions
4. I am not very empathic on regrets (or possible divorce (for those people consider to do so why did you not think before??)
5. 
   

@Cynthia Zuzu Marrying somebody who is divorced and a child (only problems (just being practical. love disappears after years))

@florencechatadza01 I hate the comment just try

@Kate1818

I'm in love with a Turkish man. It's such a different experience than what I'm used to. It's been very difficult at times to determine his intentions and to figure out my role. I am a fish out of water and could use some advise at times.

@Kate1818

Hello. Are you available to connect? I am in some kind of relationship with a Turkish man and it has been difficult at times to navigate. I could use some help and advice.

Both Kate & Irlmnz

You have to share pertinent information.

1) How old you are and age of guy?

2) How did you meet?

3) Which country you reside in?

4) What type of job does he do?*

5) How many times you've met?

6) How long have you spent together?

7) Where do you plan on living

* This point is important as if in the hotel or retail industry I know of dozens of Turkish men from18-45 that have multiple girlfriends/conquests from numerous countries (Serbian women seem to be a favourite with Turkish men at present).

Hey I'm not discounting 'true love' 🥰

He's 50 and I'm 53.

We met through a mutual friend.

I've lived in the US all my life. He has lived here for 8 years and is a US Citizen.

He's a Handyman.

We rent rooms in a shared house so we see each other regularly.

The longest span of time we've spent together is around 3 hours. We close the door of his room and talk for hours. He tells me about work. He shows me what he's working on in his spare time. He tells me about his friends and his family. He recounts his life in Turkey. He's a most fascinating person.

After he retires he plans on splitting his time between Turkey and the US.

@marktmorgan I guess I'm supposed to put my response here. Sorry.

He's 50 and I'm 53.

We met through a mutual friend.

I've lived in the US all my life. He has lived here for 8 years and is a US Citizen.

He's a Handyman.

We rent rooms in a shared house so we see each other regularly.

We've known each other for about 9 months now

The longest span of time we've spent together is around 3 hours. We close the door of his room and talk for hours. He tells me about work. He shows me what he's working on in his spare time. He tells me about his friends and his family. He recounts his life in Turkey. He's a most fascinating person.

After he retires he plans on splitting his time between Turkey and the US.