My subject is always ban from others forums or youtube

I think u are lucky u found out within 3 years! Move on and go on with ur life.....
There are bad apples everywhere in the world. I don't think it's typical of the Philippines but the culture gap makes it more « strange » for foreigners.

Daviko-Your English is good and I can tell by your words that you are intelligent and I am sorry for your circumstances. I have lived in Baguio city 9 years and starting to find weird quirks here also. No offense meant to the wonderful Philippino people. They just have weird quirks and I am trying to understand them.I am not gonna name all of them because it will sound like I am bashing them. This is NOT my intention. Philippina women can get pretty nasty verbally if you get them upset. I have experienced this many times in the 9 years I have lived here. The vulgarity is a BIG turn off to any decent man. Its demeaning to the Pinay herself and doesnt make her even look like a lady but a combat fighter in the jungles of Vietnam!Joke lang! I broke up with my Pinay gf 5 years ago after living together 3 years. She wanted a baby and I didnt.. Now she has a 5 year old daughter and no husband or bf. This appears to be the norm in the Philippines. The other thing that bothers me is when we broke up and I stopped supporting my Ex and her family her family abandoned her because no more cash flow. Hypothetically speaking if I killed someone my family would never abandon me.Never! Seems $$$$$ is the god of this country and not Jesus Christ. This is similar to the Islamic faith where money is everything.I get the feeling everytime I meet a Philippino they see me as a walking ATM machine.Its always the same 3 questions everytime I meet them and sometimes even before I even know their name."How old are you? Do you own your own home? and Are you married?" Its obvious they arent interested in me and only interested in something else.($$$) The 1st few years it didnt bother me but its starting to bother me now. I am tired of being looked at as someone wearing a T-shirt with dollar signs all over it.I have been considering moving to another country where I can be appreciated FOR WHO I AM and not because I have money.Pandemic wont allow for me. I have permanent immigrant status here even tho I am single so I will stay here my remaining years unless I can fid another country I can afford to live with mild awesome weather like Baguio city. Daviko just hang in there. If you are a believer the man upstairs(metaphor) will get you thru your trials and tribulations.Take care and God bless!Baguio Jimmy

Belize, Bahamas, Ibiza.

Belize could be the best possibility.....I spent 1 month there a few years ago. Stable dollar....been 2 to 1 exchange for decades.....easy money transfers from US.....great place for short trips in the area. Safe, stable govt......I'm probably going back there in a few years...after this COVID nonsense is over. Situation in Philippines definitely getting old.....unsafe in near future.

DavikGo wrote:

I could give you a simple idea about it [link under review]
Philippines are the #1 country of selfie in the world.

I wonder where you got the data? I just looked it up and the United States and UK were on top of the list of most number of selfies taken per 100,000 people. There was a survey some 7 years ago and Makati and Pasig topped the list of CITIES with the most selfies.

The surveys didn't indicate how they came up with the data. I took a selfie recently to update a profile picture. (I'm over 50 years old.) The last time I took one prior to that was over 7 years ago. Would I qualify as one count of selfie-taker? How about my assistant (56 years old) who took one selfie during her birthday? My other assistant (22-year-old), who takes many selfies per day, even at work, and posts them on facebook, would probably count. (So annoying.)

I don't get why some people would pucker their lips on selfies. (I can't even look at their pictures because they remind me of a chicken's butt hole. OMO.)

FilAmericanMom wrote:

DavikGo wrote:

I could give you a simple idea about it [link under review]
Philippines are the #1 country of selfie in the world.

I wonder where you got the data? I just looked it up and the United States and UK were on top of the list of most number of selfies taken per 100,000 people. There was a survey some 7 years ago and Makati and Pasig topped the list of CITIES with the most selfies.

The surveys didn't indicate how they came up with the data. I took a selfie recently to update a profile picture. (I'm over 50 years old.) The last time I took one prior to that was over 7 years ago. Would I qualify as one count of selfie-taker? How about my assistant (56 years old) who took one selfie during her birthday? My other assistant (22-year-old), who takes many selfies per day, even at work, and posts them on facebook, would probably count. (So annoying.)

I don't get why some people would pucker their lips on selfies. (I can't even look at their pictures because they remind me of a chicken's butt hole. OMO.)

The news is in French [link under review] but is quoting  TIME Magazine 2020 saying that Manila is now the #1 in the world.
They are quoting the old statistic talking about Makati, to say that now Philippines are even doing more selfie, they even have now Selfie Coffee(like internet Cybercafé)

Personally, to have go in water park in Manila and Cagayan de Oro, It always surprised me how much filipino take more time doing selfie, then sliding.

DavikGo wrote:

I have seen alot of others peoples in forum like Quora or Reddit having horror stories and talking about Passive-agressive personality disorder.

But when I open up the subject, saying that I think that in the Filipino culture, lot of narcissistic can hide on the cover of Hiya, saving face, armor propio etc. My post is erased.

Your post was removed probably because it was a generalization and offended a few people.

As for the passive-aggressive personality disorder, sometimes, certain disorders run in the family. How well do you know your wife? What was it like for her growing up? What was her childhood like? Were her parents strict? Did she grow up in an abusive environment? Was she scolded and insulted when she made mistakes?

You said "that family." Yes, the problem is with that family. Unfortunately for you, you married into that family. And the people who posted in forums who also had the same issues as you married into that kind of family who happened to be Filipino.

I've been banned for 2 weeks in another forum. Despite 7 requests to tell me what, if any, rule I may have violated, I have gotten no reply. There is one word for this: CENSORSHIP.

"My subject is always ban from others forums"
Possible depening of the Philippines have as deportation reasonif a person talk negative about the Philippines.  E g an American tourist got deported because he had "to many" negative parts in his mainly positive description of the places he visited when he travelled around in Phils.
Some of the ownersof forums live in Phils and don't want to risk to get trouble tthemselves if leting to much negativity stay.

. .
Concerning Filipinas going for foreigners money, I see it as two main cathegories (with other in between)
/Gold diggers. Lock up if passing their "hunting grounds" at some malls     And at internet they can have several "only you" boyfriends sending money to same woman, who often are in a relation with a Filipino allready. A way to sort them away is by don't send and money   

/Security seekers.
They are often good women, who are satisfied if they get a husband who treat them ok,  with economy enough to not need to worry about affording the basics. That's similar to how it was in "western" countries not long time ago when women were suppoused to become housewives with a husband bringing in tthe money. Filipinas include some more relatives though and by the foreign husbands are often much older, some think of what will happen economical after he die, so some  sveak away .some momey for savings for afterhe die - or if he leave her for an other woman, which is commonin Phils both by Filipinos and the bad of the foreigners, so it's bad they sneak, but they have a good reason in their mind by the unsertanty for them.

- -
Some are terrible burning money when they get "rich" but ssome are very good at handling money.. E g a foreigner  has even left the economy to his Filipina wife and is very satisfied with that. She has managed to get them both house and car for his small pension      I don't believe she took him for his money because he was broke and fiinancial strugglling when they met      because of some problem with his pension payouts.  It's an extra benifit if the Filipina can handle the daily economics by she can avoid "kano prices" easier   

I have never said anything negative about the Philippines or Filipinos. I suspect that I was banned for exposing the TRUTH about vaccines, but I don't know for sure since my 7 requests for clarification have been completely ignored.

FortuneFavorsTheBold wrote:

I have never said anything negative about the Philippines or Filipinos. I suspect that I was banned for exposing the TRUTH about vaccines, but I don't know for sure since my 7 requests for clarification have been completely ignored.

Mentioning vaccines is taboo on this forum when expressing your opinion unless you are a moderator.

FortuneFavorsTheBold wrote:

I have never said anything negative about the Philippines or Filipinos. I suspect that I was banned for exposing the TRUTH about vaccines, but I don't know for sure since my 7 requests for clarification have been completely ignored.

There's a  big difference between truth and conspiracy theory. Conspiracy theories have no place in this forum. Just by your saying "exposing the truth" signals the beginning of a conspiracy theory.

Around October 2019, I had our house repainted. I wanted to make it more presentable because I had guests from the states coming over for Christmas.  Just when the painters completed painting the exterior, took down the scaffolding and transferred them inside the house to paint the interiors, the outbreak at Wuhan was all over the news.

If I try putting together bits and pieces of facts tabout chemicals in paints including their teratogenic properties, add some supporting pictures and videos from the internet taken out of context, I might be able to come up with a good case for the painting of my house as the cause of the outbreak. It's silly, of course. And it's not true. But there might be some who would believe it. And that could have dangerous consequences. And that is why conspiracy theories are not allowed in this forum.

FilAmericanMom wrote:

As for the passive-aggressive personality disorder, sometimes, certain disorders run in the family. How well do you know your wife? What was it like for her growing up? What was her childhood like? Were her parents strict? Did she grow up in an abusive environment? Was she scolded and insulted when she made mistakes?

I think this is a very important point to note...do get to know the family head father/mother (I mean truly)....I am indeed blessed to have a wonderful 85 yr (to be) father in law ; A truly honest/sincere/hardworking old man who is a skilled carpenter/farmer whom I see as every bit the perfect gentleman.
He does't speak very much English but somehow we understand/respect each other very well & yes he used to be a very strict disciplinarian with his kids when he was younger (& I see some his traits run in the family) at least with the older kids.....I am with his youngest daughter  ...who was a pretty naughty/stubborn kid growing up (maybe spoilt by her mum/his 2nd wife); but she too has been modelled into a wonderful/trustworthy partner (took a lot of hardwork/patience/trust) to build what we have right now & lets not talk about the sex & I do find pukered lips to be pretty kinky if pulled of correctly...again OMO....

Yeah there are bad apples all over the world.

FilAmericanMom wrote:

DavikGo wrote:

I have seen alot of others peoples in forum like Quora or Reddit having horror stories and talking about Passive-agressive personality disorder.

But when I open up the subject, saying that I think that in the Filipino culture, lot of narcissistic can hide on the cover of Hiya, saving face, armor propio etc. My post is erased.

Your post was removed probably because it was a generalization and offended a few people.

As for the passive-aggressive personality disorder, sometimes, certain disorders run in the family. How well do you know your wife? What was it like for her growing up? What was her childhood like? Were her parents strict? Did she grow up in an abusive environment? Was she scolded and insulted when she made mistakes?

You said "that family." Yes, the problem is with that family. Unfortunately for you, you married into that family. And the people who posted in forums who also had the same issues as you married into that kind of family who happened to be Filipino.

Even in the same country and culture, it is really hard to go out of the "romance" to begin to question the relative, childhood and friends. Sherlock Homes can be hard on a relation in the beginning.
But I got you're point, yes, if I would have take more time, I could have seen that my wife don't have "true close" friend, she have no confidant. But it was a really hard thing for me to be seen, because filipinos are really sociable, always outside with someone. The other thing that I came to realize, it is that her own family was "hiding or backing" my wife. But it is something common, we always "want to believe" that someone will change for the better. I'm not mad at them, I got good "moral support" from her family side.

My wife is really not a "gold digger", she rarely have asked for it in 3 years. If she was a gold digger, she was already knowing that by coming in Canada, she could have financially destroy me by divorcing and still being at my charge for 3 years. She was knowing that in Toronto or Montréal, lot of filipino of her own faith could have support her, same for our feminist law.

The real thing, that I could say that I don't like about my story, it is the "family secret" "the pride of the clan". I have been lucky that my wife go in "silent treatment" and "war mod runnaway" at the same time that her own sister(that my wife and her father was already doing silent treatment without I know it) was morally destroyed by her boyfriend that leaved her with the baby alone with her own family.

The thing about the sister of my wife, she is the only one that bring salary to her family, when my wife and her father begin there silent narc treatment against her, because she got a baby outside of the wedlock. She was now "free" to not keep the secret of the family, and I have learned the "truth".

Do you imagine her situation, she is the one that bring food to everyone like a slave, she could go away to do her own life with her good salary, but still stay with her family at war with her! She is the one supporting all of them, but having 0 gratitude.

I have buy her the book The Narcissist in Your Life: Recognizing the Patterns and Learning to Break Free, I hope that she will be able to stop the narcissistic chain, why? because my nephew, is the most spoiled child that I have seen in all my life, he is the next narc generation, and nobody in the clan, see it.

To coming back with my wife, she was really skilled in the filipino psychology that we could call tradition. To make me always remember that we are from different culture, and that her behavior was normal. It is a little the reason of this topic, in the Filipino psychology, you have always something to defend the narcissistic behavior.

Amor propio = Narcisstic way of life
Face = Narcissistic persona
Saving face = Narcissistic injury
Passive-aggressive = Narcissistic rage that can be the accepted Tampururót
Tampo = Silent treatment
Tampuhan = Accepted silent treatment in a couple
Lambing = To never have wrong
May sumpong = To accept the irresponsability of others (like all sumpong stuff)
Hiya = The Narcissistic pride that we must never hurt (kahihiyan)
Balat-sibuyas = Onion-skinned, cannot accept to be wrong or criticism
Utang na Loob = Weapon of a narcissistic family, to take everything for granted
I must forget other suff

How can we see a "covert Narc" in all these cultural behavior that protect and accept them?

Enzyte Bob ~ It was a different forum, but I get your point.  Pretty much like other biased platforms.

Exposing the truth equates to a conspiracy theory? Wow!

I suppose you believe the India story of late which used images from a GAS LEAK years ago.  🤣😂

Hi Davik,

I experience this same thing with my business partner. I thought he was a friend but he had a different agenda. Its a psych war of how to stay "agreeable" and maintain a future plan to take advantage.

I think things are not always what they seem. Every conversation is an oppurtunity for people to take advantage. That is why the skill to learn is knowing who to trust. That is usually family, but they too can play a wildcard.

Always protect yourself at all times as they say in the UFC. (but dont get paranoid)

Ian

FortuneFavorsTheBold wrote:

I suppose you believe the India story of late which used images from a GAS LEAK years ago.  🤣😂

Just because someone used images from a gas leak, whether intentionally or unintentionally, to convince us that there is a surge in Covid-19 cases and Covid-related deaths in India, does not mean that the large-scale humanitarian crisis in India is not real. There are a million other photos and personal accounts of people in that area who can prove that it is real.

It is irresponsible to disseminate information that it is not true based on one picture, as it could detract from the gravity of the situation in India, whose citizens are in crucial need of help. And OMG. I can't believe that you would use a laughing emoji at the end of your post when people are dying there.

Everybody dies eventually. I'm laughing at people who believe fake news propaganda that is designed to promote fear and vaccine sales.

Arch Ian Jay wrote:

Hi Davik,

I experience this same thing with my business partner. I thought he was a friend but he had a different agenda. Its a psych war of how to stay "agreeable" and maintain a future plan to take advantage.

I think things are not always what they seem. Every conversation is an oppurtunity for people to take advantage. That is why the skill to learn is knowing who to trust. That is usually family, but they too can play a wildcard.

Always protect yourself at all times as they say in the UFC. (but dont get paranoid)

Ian

Hi Lan, yes I have read often you're story with business even with friend. I thing what make us foreigner never used to it, it is the concept of the "face". Like if they "must" look always good. The truth or having wrong are minor stuff, that must never hurt the face.

In our Western society, Narc do that will there false persona, it is really hard for us, to see an happy smiling persorn, that hide her true feelings and plans.

Filipino are really sociable, and maybe have the best hospitality that I have seen in many countries. But they are emotionally extremly individualist, even if they see us as individualist.

In western term, I would call it "to be two-faced".

The outside "face" being more important then the "innerself".

If you do some search, lot of filipino themself, when coming to america, or returning back to Philippines, complain about that Passive-aggressive way of life that they came to understand.

A Narc become Narc, by the lack of love done by there parent, in childhood.
How much harder, it is to change a culture way of life?

Filipino, are in american psychology, the asian culture that have the hardest time, to integrate the american way of life.

If you are serious about looking for another country where you can live out your years in an affordable, friendly location, full of "the world's happiest" people. Might I suggest you do some research on Ecuador? According to International Living Magazine, it is ranked among the top retirement destinations in the world. The people are happy and friendly. Plus the cost of living in Ecuador is as low as or possibly lower than in the Philippines.

Check out some of their back issues.
Carl

carlisom78 wrote:

If you are serious about looking for another country where you can live out your years in an affordable, friendly location, full of "the world's happiest" people. Might I suggest you do some research on Ecuador? According to International Living Magazine, it is ranked among the top retirement destinations in the world. The people are happy and friendly. Plus the cost of living in Ecuador is as low as or possibly lower than in the Philippines.

Check out some of their back issues.
Carl

Yes I know a lot of Canadian doing there retirement in Ecuador or Mexico, sadly, I need two more decades to do this, but  right now, I try to do peace with my broken heart.
Trying to understand what happened to me, and understand why some filipinos or even some of us can see this as a normal behavior for filipinas

My only conclusion that I can find, it is that many foreigners go in relationship with https://medium.com/wholistique/stop-seeking-revenge-on-covert-narcissists-94e24c4099e6, for there own destruction.

Why they are playing that "false persona" for years? because we are foreigner, they are valorisating on that like a leech.
Foreigner at retirement, see this like a childish behavior, but when we are at the same age, we see this as manipulation.

C-78 Yes I have considered Ecuador but if I remember right the weather is not comparable to here in Baguio city. I do speak a little Spanish that I learned in my 20's because I had a Mexican gf for about 2 years in California Santa Ana..I still remember some of the language.. Right now I am pretty much set up with the current Permanent visa I have had for 5 years.Just renewed my ARC card good for another five. My understanding is that I can live in another country indefinitely as long as I renew the card every 5 years. I will double check if ts 1 year or 5 years I have to report to immig here in Baguio. If I can be gone for as long as 5 years and not have to check into immig every Jan/Feb I may consider living in Ecuador and see how that goes. Thanks for reminding me about Ecuador although I think maybe too hot there. Baguio has spoiled me with day time temps in the mid 70's here year around. Rainy season is easily adaptable.Baguio Jimmy

DavikGo wrote:

The truth or having wrong are minor stuff, that must never hurt the face..

A funny thing is not understanding geting caught lieing and deny when PROVENl lieing/gguilty, make WORSE lose face!!!
I joined a Filipino business forum to learn, but the only I learned there were rich and middle class Manila Filipiinos:
/lie a lot
/deny even when proven lied
/NONE of them reacted against proven liars, several even took liars side.
And the common among tthem is they know almost nothing about Philippine provinces!!! 

Example of missing knowledge about provinces:  One put in charge by a big bank to make ads with real estates for sale. He had put a lot of them at wrong islands...        (Several municipalies at Mindanao put at Bohol island e g  Bukidnon,  Negros at Cebu, Puerto Princesa, Palawan at NCR (Metro Manila, Luzon).   That's them I - a foreigner who don't even live in the Philippines  - KNEW, while tthat high educated Filipino didn't!!!   

- -
Concerniing education::  Almost no Filipinos can count percent, not even one with MASTER exam in Business ECONOMY!!! (He could the simplest but not recounting  to year interest. But that  harder COULD two LOW educated street smart Filipinas  figuere out    They are among the very few Filipinos  I have found who can any percemt counting.
-How many percent is 1 of 5?       (As in the very common "5-6" loans, that's why I use that.)
-...4 ?  said a TEACHER!
(But I know two other teachers, who know very good, so it ISN'T general among teachers.)

Filipinos are very GOOD at languages.  A Filipina mother I know complained to me her 8 yo daughter was bad at reading,, so I thought she ment Bisaya or Tagalog, but it was the daughter's THIRD language allready.  Not odd the daughter had problem reading English because English pronounce several letters wrong             and some are mute, so NOT following what the daughter had learned recently when learned to read Tagalog. 
(Actualy Fiippino and Swedish pronounce the letters same. So Filipinos can read out loud a SWEDISH text,, without knowing what they are saying, so a Swede have no problemt to undertand. )

Exposing the truth means beginning of conspiracy theory...!!!!????
Are you serious or you are a troll???
Trolling is not allowed on any forum!
Ya, know....!

PalawanBob wrote:

Exposing the truth means beginning of conspiracy theory...!!!!????
Are you serious or you are a troll???
Trolling is not allowed on any forum!
Ya, know....!

It all depends on who is making the post.

Poster "A" makes a post, perfectly fine, but if poster "B" would have made the post it's a conspiracy theory and is considered a trolling.

Although in some forums posters are accused to be trolls when telling the truth   

(As e g I in a forum where I found out many rich Manila Filipinos lie a lot and I told and proced so     (By the bigest liar was so stupid sso he changed "quotes" so the meaning of them became the opposite to the origins !!!    which were NOT editable except soon after posting, so obvious proves of  he made FALSE "quotes"...)

I usually ignore "opinion influencers" (trolls), there are several of them on this forum, but when they cross the line I think it's appropriate to correct them.
No need to be abrasive, be subtle and the message will be noticed.

capricornrising wrote:

C-78 Yes I have considered Ecuador but if I remember right the weather is not comparable to here in Baguio city. I do speak a little Spanish that I learned in my 20's because I had a Mexican gf for about 2 years in California Santa Ana..I still remember some of the language.. Right now I am pretty much set up with the current Permanent visa I have had for 5 years.Just renewed my ARC card good for another five. My understanding is that I can live in another country indefinitely as long as I renew the card every 5 years. I will double check if ts 1 year or 5 years I have to report to immig here in Baguio. If I can be gone for as long as 5 years and not have to check into immig every Jan/Feb I may consider living in Ecuador and see how that goes. Thanks for reminding me about Ecuador although I think maybe too hot there. Baguio has spoiled me with day time temps in the mid 70's here year around. Rainy season is easily adaptable.Baguio Jimmy

I think CR you will be pleasantly surprised by the climate in Quito the capital of Ecuador: 10,000 feet above sea level. But you might need an oxygen mask..

I think I better get my 2 ha'porth in to this discussion before the censorship police descend.
There are without doubt several Filipina typical's I have come across over many years visiting the Philippines for business & pleasure.
I should say that I have never been married to a Filipina ; never been married and never will marry. Yup a confirmed bachelor with normal blood pressure, property, a decent bank account, and very few grey hairs (so far ). That's not to say that marriage should not be contemplated for those who wish to roll the dice. But to roll the dice when marrying a Filipina the odds, I'm afraid fellow forum readers, are stacked against you. Anyone who goes down this route having absorbed (yes absorbed not just read) the plethora of reviews on this subject over the years on this forum have only themselves to blame. Many in a Filipino relationship will respond to this post stating how good their life has been and I am happy for you but you are and always will be in the minority.

Since coming to the Philippines for the first time on a business trip in Jan 2001 and countless visits since I have been involved in several relationships with Filipino women and over time you get to see the bigger picture.
There is without doubt a narcisstic culture that exists and I would agree with a previous post that the Philippines IS the selfy world leader. This is also manifested to a great extent on Facebook entries. I note that Filipina's will automatically ‘like' a page not because of its content but because they have this ‘herd' instinct to be accepted by ‘the crowd'.

I try to always look for the positives in human beings and Filipina's do have these which can be seen on a previous post of mine. But often there is a hidden agenda behind the smile that illustrates a dark side to the personality which is why I have never become too involved in a relationship.

Filipino society is highly stratified, hierarchical and segmented with subtle nuances. Rather like an ant's nest where each type of ant is programmed to operate in a different way. There was an excellent entry to this forum a few years back by Wadja (I think that was his handle) breaking down Filipino women into 5 categories. For sure it was not a politically correct entry but neverthless hit (in my opinion) the bullseye in terms of character traits. Amazing that the Censor police allowed that to stay.

There is in some ways a comparable with the Indian caste system in Filipino society. If you are born into the lowest rung (a Dalit) your life will not be easy and a struggle to better yourself. I have encountered many of these and what strikes me is how humble they can be and I have a great deal of sympathy for them. It's the ‘Brahmin' equivalents that possess a ‘I am' personality that over time starts to grate.
An example: 4 years ago I was staying at a dive resort in Dumaguete with my GF from Surigao - an exceptionally attractive Filipina half my age. We were in the hotel bar having an aperitif engaged in conversation with a charming couple; a German gentleman and his Filipina wife. In strutted a Filipina (Brahmin type) who interrupted us and looked at my GF ( a Dalit ) and then addressed me in a loud voice and pointed to my partner asking ‘Is that your girlfriend?' Given that we were in a conversation this was not only impolite but downright rude. A born by birth arrogance that of course manifests itself in other society's as well . But I new what was going on here and it was the ‘Queen' asserting her authority for the evening. Her comment to me was a ‘barb'intended for my GF inappropriate and completely out of line. It turned out that this Prima Donna was working as a reporter for a Manila TV station with her film crew ‘entourage' in tow. She was the centre of attention and wanted everyone to know it. Long story short she ended up seated at our table in the restaurant later that evening. Big mistake. Suffice to say that it was unfortunate for her that no other guests were present otherwise I would never have said what i did. I wonder if she ever learnt her lesson - probably not. Interestingly my GF did not speak to me for the next 24 hours . Yes it's that herd mentality again.

Lotus Eater wrote:

I think I better get my 2 ha'porth in to this discussion before the censorship police descend.
There are without doubt several Filipina typical's I have come across over many years visiting the Philippines for business & pleasure.
I should say that I have never been married to a Filipina ; never been married and never will marry. Yup a confirmed bachelor with normal blood pressure, property, a decent bank account, and very few grey hairs (so far ). That's not to say that marriage should not be contemplated for those who wish to roll the dice. But to roll the dice when marrying a Filipina the odds, I'm afraid fellow forum readers, are stacked against you. Anyone who goes down this route having absorbed (yes absorbed not just read) the plethora of reviews on this subject over the years on this forum have only themselves to blame. .

Well. You have yourself to blame if you don't get any of the serious good ones, because they want to get married      
Although some of tthem some "moderniced" by city life can agree to live-in TEMPORARY EXPECTING you marry them, so you will have to fool them you will marry them to get any of the good ones...
Perhaps you can find an exception from that too, but if so it's a stupid or "happp-go--lucky" type who don't think before act - but they sttill want to get marriage...

Except the some "moderniced" exception  the Philippines is still as North Europe was 1930-ties. And some province people are still as 1800  century where tthe man is expected tto visit the parents and ask them for permision before even have a date in a cafeteria. ..
E g just around 10 years ago a Filipino I know got such visit to her parents   - but during that meeting she farted on purpouse because she didn't like to go to any  date with that man     
(But she like me, but married an other by she "coulddn't" wait for me.   She had some ootheer urgent reasons too -  NOT pregnant     -- but it's a long story so I skip telling that.  And she passed 30, which make many Filipinas get panic they will never be married. This woman started worryingg she was to old to get marriage offer, when she was only 26yo   

Lotus Eater, thanks for you're post 

coach53 wrote:

but it's a long story so I skip telling that.  And she passed 30, which make many Filipinas get panic they will never be married. This woman started worryingg she was to old to get marriage offer, when she was only 26yo   

My sister-in-law, 32 years old, really pretty lady, 2 kids, is now in big depression, like if she have missed her entire life because of her bad choice of boyfriends.
I try to make her realize, that she is not alone [link moderated]

But nothing to do, she is shamed and think that she will be alone her entire life. What she should do, it is to stop to be the slave of her narcissistic family and begin to live for herself and giving true love to her own childrens, the problem of her life, it is not bad boyfriend or being single mom.
The problem is that she seek a boyfriend "worthy" of her family, but man with a good job, are often narc that just want to do sex, and her narc Father, will never find someone worthy of him. It is a death end if she don't open her eyes.

DavikGo wrote:

My sister-in-law, 32 years old, really pretty lady, 2 kids, is now in big depression, like if she have missed her entire life because of her bad choice of boyfriends..

Two kids with DIFFERENT men or with one same?

Much harder to find ANY husband if she has got messed up with two crap men allready and searching for new.  I see such as a big messing up warning sigm by she didn't learn by her first misstake, made same misstake again....
But if with same father rather many good men can find it acceptable.

coach53 wrote:

DavikGo wrote:

My sister-in-law, 32 years old, really pretty lady, 2 kids, is now in big depression, like if she have missed her entire life because of her bad choice of boyfriends..

Two kids with DIFFERENT men or with one same?

Much harder to find ANY husband if she has got messed up with two crap men allready and searching for new.  I see such as a big messing up warning sigm by she didn't learn by her first misstake, made same misstake again....
But if with same father rather many good men can find it acceptable.

Yup, 2 differents, with maybe 5 years between them.

You know what? I have followed this post, seen the supportive replies (thanks mum) the realistic replies (get used to it, move on) and the irrelevant replies. Given the perpetuation I wonder the meaning at times of narcissism: Self fulfilling rings a bell.

https://www.google.com/search?client=sa … p;oe=UTF-8

Sorry for the long URL but not sorry for the troubles and trials in relationships, business and day to day living in my life, I learn/t and move forward and only I can successfully lick my own wounds, sharing personal details in an open forum is really for Mills and Boon.
Many times through my life I feel that I am the victim but on reflection life is a two way street and has to be navigated with care. An accident? Deal with it and hopefully don't do it again. Still trying but wiser after the B/S and hurts including my own misgivings.

OMO.

Cheers, Steve.

You say your "Sister-in-law", 32 years old, really pretty lady, 2 kids, is now in big depression, like if she have missed her entire life because of her bad choice of boyfriends.
I try to make her realize, that she is not alone.

Yes she knows now that she's made some mistakes....hey like you say she is after all a Really Pretty Girl + With a Good Job (lots going well for her)
1st : she needs to know about Safe/Protected sex during every sexual encounter.
2nd : she's opening up to you isn't she?...why not take a leap of faith & run away together & live happily ever after with both of enjoying your new found freeeedoooom.
(Omo)