Vietnam relationships / Children / Marriage

I agree with your comments...There is no need to pay spousal support, etc. The this story... is capable of providing for his child and do it comfortably. A baby needs good medical, clothing and a healthy lifestyle which he can easily provide. I would add that he make arrangements to give the money to someone who will administer funds, assuring that funds are used for the baby's needs only. A lawyer, or a person that will oversee the baby is well taken care of. Yes, the median income here is low. The dad mentioned his asset/income which is substantial.

In VN giving the money to an intermediary is not an option. Would be nice if it was. But custody means just that. The person given custody makes the decisions.

I mention a legal entity help distribute child support , which he can select, possibly a lawyer, a parent or grandparent or a family member that may be head of the family who can oversee that the baby is well cared for. I know child support is his option until there is an actual court order; therefore whatever the dad decides to send is up to him.

You got her pregnant. She is Vietnamese and there is a far greater chance that she will be a good wife and will be permanent than if she were American. Marry her. You will reflect in a few years that is the best thing that ever happened to you. I know of several similar situations and they each ended happily ever after. Same goes even if you find out that somehow the child is not genetically yours.

If you marry her, because she is Vietnamese, you are guaranteed to have beautiful children.

Since this thread is still open I'll put in my 500 VND from reading the first page and skimming the 2nd.  For all people in the same situations.

1)  Assuming your avatar is you than your are causcasian.  I will also assume your cousin is caucasian.  What about his wife, your baby momma's best friend.   If she's VN then you cousin and his wife would be better people to discuss this information with.  This forum can be secondary.

2)  Spend some time on self-retrospection.  If you are working all the time how can you still be a good husband.  A good father?

3) Keep in mind that marriage AND being a parent AND moving overseas AND cultural differences are all huge changes to a person's life.  You're looking for this girl to do all four things all at once.

4)  People and situations change.  The reality may not live up to the dream for both people.  The marriage falls apart.  The girl gets labeled as just looking for a green card all along.  This is rewriting history.

5)  Of course, there are real predators out there.  Pre-nup protects both sides. This is already a shotgun wedding so the anti-pre-nups-aren't-romantic portion is already gone so having the pre-nup can actually build security and trusts.

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