Homophobia In Ecuador

We are looking to retire there as well. I am  interested to read your responses.

Wesley

I am sure others that live in Ecuador who have much more knowledge will chime in.

My Ecuadorian brother-in-law's brother is homosexual, and he never seems to have many problems. He lives in Quito which is a big city. Big of course depending on your view of big. Most cities the world over tend to be more liberal, and more counties, or rural areas tend to be more conservative.

Will say that at my sisters wedding he had a female date. He said it was best to keep the illusion for some of the family. Think he was probably refering to the older generations in his family. To my knowledge there is no homophobia on a large scale. Am sure you'll have some who aren't happy, but that's the world over again.

Like I said. Someone with some more knowledge will probably chime in on the subject

My neighbor is gay and similar to j600rr brother-in-law's brother, his family doesn't know. I see gay/lesbian couples walking hand in hand sometimes in my area and once seen a lesbian couple making out in the park, but no where near the PDA that heterosexual couples often display. The mentality is quite machista, at least in the highlands, so maybe that's why some gay people conceal their orientation from family.

Most young people in Ecuador are quite accepting of homosexuals. Having said that, the older generation hasn’t caught up yet. This would include some expats that grew up thinking that was a big no no. Older Ecuadoreans are conservative by nature and avoid the subject. The larger cities like Quito, Guayaquil and Cuenca to a certain extent have lots of venues for gays. Remember in spite of attitudes, Ecuador has a very inclusive constitution that doesn’t allow discrimination based on sexual orientation. We don’t have gay marriage yet but I suspect it’s coming down the pike. Right now you can have civil unions which is known as “union de hecho” It provides you with the same rights as any heterosexual couple. Hope this helps.

We had an evangelical pastor with the last name of Zabala who was also involved in politics. This man was extremely homophobic and kept spewing hate against the community. The Ecuadorean government fined and suspended him from participating in politics for two years. There’re quite a few U-Tube videos about this, if you understand Spanish. I don’t think even the U.S. has graduated to that level.
We’re stuck in Trumpland ignorance trying to deal with it LOL

G'Evening, Norviato1 (as well as those others who have replied to my question so far).

Thanks for your message.  It's helpful.

If I'm not mistaken, I thought that my husband said marriage equality (same-sex marriage) exists in Ecuador.  But I may be wrong about what he told me.  For sure, he said that Ecuador is light-years ahead of the U. S. in terms of other Gay rights.

Does the Ecuadorian government recognize legitimate, marriage equality (same-sex marriages) from the United States?  Or would we (still) be required to get a civil union license in order for the Ecuadorian government to recognize ours as a legitimate, legally-binding relationship?

My husband was born and raised in Quito but now lives with me in the States (The Commonwealth of Kentucky).  We are working towards his becoming a naturalized U. S. citizen, at which time he can have dual citizenship and also dual passports.

We've discussed us moving (back) to Quito once he is a United States citizen so that I would be able to become a naturalized, Ecuadorian citizen also, with dual citizenship and passports.

Moving to Quito is why I've written to ask regarding Gays living in Ecuador.  Antonio and I have absolutely NO intention of living in a gringo ghetto. . . .  (smile)

My wife and I live in Cuena for the last three years. We had an open attitude previously because of the industry my wife was in
The Expats we know in Cuenca are very relaxed about it .  We mainly don't think about it. And most of the people we mix with don't. Yes there is an element of Trumpistas and Religious  in the Expats but you soon get away from them.
For the Ecuadorians it's different. They live in a family fishbowl. That means the family gets together every Sunday and  live within a few houses. Being nominal Catholics it would be difficult to  be accepting. As an example guys get drunk on Saturday afternoon and sleep it off in the streets , they can't go home being drunk. The younger people don't seem to care because of the heavy emphasis on Anti discrimination laws. There are night clubs for friendly exchanges . So overall don't worry about it you'll be welcome

Depending on the age of your EC husband you may run into a largely unspoken prejudice. The lady who helps with our medical translations etc is 30 years my junior. When we go to the hospital we get a few scowls. They think she is my wife and has married me for my money. Little do they know how incorrect all of that is, but it's just a funny feeling.

Antonio is 30 years my junior as well. . . .  (smile)

Good evening Coxhere
I’m sure that Ecuador doesn’t have gay marriage yet. Civil unions or “union de hecho” is something that was passed when Rafael Correa was president. Now we have Lenin Moreno and far as I know he’s pretty liberal so gay marriage might not be far away in the horizon. Many people in the gay community voted for him. If it wasn’t for the Catholic church gay marriage would already be a reality today.
I’m not certain about Americans having dual citizenship or not. But I do know that Ecuador allows that so your partner can have both after he obtains his U.S. citizenship. I was born in Quito myself but have lived most of my life in the U.S. I could carry two passports if I wished.

I doubt that your same sex marriage from the states would be recognized in Ecuador.
You’ll probably have to wait on that one.
In the mean time do a civil union “union de hecho” and have the same rights.
What’s the difference?

They’ll just think you’re his grandfather with money haha!

I have to differ on some of your comments. My family is scattered in different places and we don’t live in a fish bowl. And no, I don’t get drunk over the weekend and pass out somewhere and ashamed to go home. That sounds like rednecks in the U.S. and some low class Ecuadoreans. The comment is hilarious!

Lurch,
Why would anyone suspect the other woman is your wife? Do you sport a butch boy haircut? Just kidding! Ecuadorean humor! LOL

Coxhere,
Nothing wrong with living in a gringo ghetto. They’re usually the safest and not too “poor” LOL

Buenas Tardes, Norviato.

If living in a gringo ghetto has "nothing wrong with" it, then I will have to figure out other ways of interacting and improving my Spanish with those who speak Spanish as a primary language.  I'm aware that, because of Northern European heritage (pale skin----typing these two words makes me think of the term that Native Americans supposedly said [in old, inaccurate movies that depicted Indios!]----"pale faces").  I know that I will always standout as a "pale face" gringo.  However, I'm hoping that I acquire skills to understand rapidly spoken Spanish and the ability to respond just as rapidly, fluent Spanish in return.  Then I'll be a gringo who knows the language.  And, if nowhere else and also speaking incluyendo idiomas españoles, la gente en los campos will be surprised.  Espero que sí.

Oh, also my husband, Antonio (Ñañito mío) me dijo que me va a quedar en todas las circunstancias que nos encuentremos.

¡A próposito, me encanta tus y mis discusiones escritas!

Surprise, surprise. You’ll never be the only pale face in Ecuador. About 10% of the population is of european heritage, mostly from Spain. I’m one of them and they also call me gringo even though I’m not. On my father’s side they’re of Basque origin and Andalucian from my mom’s. That one to me is the most interesting as it goes back to the 16 hundred’s. Anyway, Ecuador is multiethnic and racial, so you won’t be the king of anything there. LOL I see that your Spanish isn’t stellar cause I’m not sure what you’re trying to say. That’s where your “marido” comes in. LOL By the way, ñaño means brother more than anything. I get a kick every time you call your partner “husband” that’s so funny! I also lived for a year with my partner in Mt. Sterling Kentucky, that’s close to Lexington. He was originally from West Virginia, hillbilly country. LOL

I checked EVERY word of EVERY sentence with my husband, Antonio.  According to Tony, a Ecuadorian native who was born and raised in Quito, Ecuador, whose primary language is Western Hemisphere Spanish (he also lived in Madrid, Spain for five years) every sentence is appropriate and completely understandable.  He's told me that "nanito" is a term of endearment and he loves when I call him by this intimate, loving word.  (By the way, "husband" is not funny to us.  It's taken thousands of years to finally, legally, for Gays to have obtained marriage equality.  Why is "husbands" funny to you?  "Partner" is funny to us.  Are the two of you legally married?)  I love West Virginia.  It reminds me of the state of my birth, Oklahoma.  It's a state that's also made fun because of the affects of the "Dust Bowl."  Oklahomans left the state because they had no jobs and because they were starving.  My hometown is located on the western slopes of the Ozark Mountains.  Okmulgee, which means "boiling water" in the Muscogee (Creek) Indians' language, is the capital of The Creek Indian Nation.

You’re way too technical and get hang up on little things, just because  I didn’t understand your Spanish. Maybe it’s my fault and you don’t need to consult your “marido” or ñañito. LOL The important thing is that you try and that’s all that matters. My mom’s only brother lived in Spain since 1953 and was a career diplomat. He’s buried in Madrid but my cousins are still alive. For me the triangle was always Ecuador, Spain and the U.S. Now I’m a bit tired of Trumpland and contemplating a move to where I was born. No panacea there as I would be exchanging a set of problems with some others.
No we weren’t married and the key word is “was my partner” because he died in January of this year. He was in the military for 22 years and made a career out of it. He came from the coal camps in West Virginia but pulled himself out of that situation. He became a stable well traveled and educated individual. He was 5 years younger than me even though he looked like my father. LOL I never used the word husband because I feel like I’d be trying to imitate a heterosexual relationship. The forms here in the U.S. and certainly in Ecuador have been changed to reflect those current differences for the most part. If they keep it somewhat ambiguous it doesn’t leave anyone out. What you said about thousands of years. I’m not sure, I would have to look it up. I’m not quite comfortable writing personal things on this forum because it’s usually read and answered by the know it all gringos that have a lot of time on their hands. This is a topic that many of them avoid and don’t know much about. Notwithstanding, they rule the roost on all subjects. Si quieres  hablar en privado te puedo dar mi email.
Saludos

Me gustaria tu correro eletronico.  Muchas gracias en ofrecermelo.

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Ahí lo tienes.

Vamos a tratar de esta forma para ver si resulta.
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Why do you need to pick apart other people's comments?
We live in Cuenca which is a very insular society. You are born , go to school here , get a job and live here. It's family and who you know not what you know. Yes young men get drunk in El Centro and can't go home , so they sleep it off
A lot no I'll see maybe three a week.its not redneck behaviour .
There is an open adherence to Catholicism here that is not really reflected in private. There has been a seismic change in morality here with a lot of men going to the States in the 90's following the collapse of the sucre. Their horizons opened up and there has been a lot of girlfriends stateside, new wife's , babies popping up etc etc. Then they return home with all these changes. With that has come more tolerance of other lifestyles.
We did live in El Centro and more mixed and were forced to do better at Cuenca Spanish. It's different in word useage and of course non Castilian. Living there is much better for that but apts are older and a lot of stairs . We had to move with my bum knee.
Anyway there is a lot of love here which will conquer all

Lurch,
Let me tell you something. Picking apart comments is part of me and my sense of humor. Just like you making erroneous statements based on your perception of things there are part of you. I would call that hit and miss and the latter seems to be your expertise. That’s why I made the comment in one of my postings about the know it all gringos. Does that ring a bell? I’m an Ecuadorean typical in ways that understands the mentality and you claim to be the expert? Most of you don’t master the language and never become fully integrated. You have no clue on the class system that prevails in Ecuadorean society. If you did you wouldn’t make those simplistic statements. That’s the reason why I think you’re hilarious. And now you’re given us lessons on what’s Castilian and what isn’t. You could really make some bucks as a comedian. Americans have a tremendous need to feel superior and often belittle others in their quest for it. If you were rubbing elbows with the elites you wouldn’t feel that way. lol So next time you put everyone in the fish bowl and display your “PhD” on things you don’t really understand completely. Just give yourself and us a break! What’s really changing society worldwide is the internet. Not the returning Ecuadoreans with gringo habits. That’s so funny! Remember you’re a guest there and not judge and jury!

I suggest that everyone take a deep breath and get back on topic please.

The posts now are getting to be of a personal nature and will get permanent bans if it continues.

I also suggest that people read the terms and conditions located at the bottom of this page.

Stumpy, If you go back and read some of the posts from Lurch. You’ll see that she’s the one that started the negative comments about Ecuadoreans getting drunk and living in a fish bowl etc. As an Ecuadorean I have to clarify her ignorant statements. If she spoke about the colonial art and architecture, as well as culture that exists there I would have to problem with of that. Instead she focuses on the negative and that doesn’t sit right with me. Since when does the word gringo pertain to race? This woman is so far off of the mark it’s not even funny. Even gringos refer themselves by the name without offense. You’re right the topic is homofobia in Ecuador and we should stick to the subject. I don’t have a bruised ego and no reason to have one. From now on I won’t answer any of Lurch’s comments as I’d be wasting my time.

Hi everyone,

Thread temporarily closed for review.

Thanks,

Priscilla

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