Toughest decision of my life

You could go to Vietnam, fail miserably and regret it, or you could stay in Canada, be really miserable and be guaranteed to regret not trying.

I was always told I must find a good job, work like crazy until I can retire then die with boring memories to look back on.

Stuff that for a game of soldiers, get your bags packed.

Unfortunately the truth is.... its a decision only you can make...you will get all sorts of advice on here from people who had their own reasons for moving here some running away from something, others falling in love with a local and others that genuinely wanted to make a life in Vietnam..some failed, some made it successful..we are often faced with life changing decisions some people have the balls to face them head on and make the change others can't make the call and regret it for the rest of their lives..its your call mate....

Hi Allan,

Living & working in VN is fine, but! this country is not safe at all. There are so many crazy people on the streets. We never know what happen next????????????????? Canada is a very beautiful country and friendly people, caring and good hearts. Many people in VN loves to move to Canada to live a good and safe live. Good schools for their children. VN is only good for the rich and people with " POWERS " You are welcome to live here as long as you wish, and one day you will go back to your " MOTHER LAND " There is no place like home. I wish you all the best and may God bless us all.

Sincerely Yours,

HAILUAUSA*****

Hi Allan,


I think you probably know expat.com can't give you answer.

If it was me, I would ask myself: if I would die tomorrow, would I care about all of this?

People can advise you tons of things, but they can't responsible for it. No one can be with you 24 hours except yourself and God.

And people advise you based on what they want for you or want you to become, not what you want for yourself.

They advise you based on what they think are good for you, but they are not you. They don't know what you really want, what you really like, and how do you really feel.

This is what i am thinking, i am not happy with my life here. I know the grass is always greener but i just want to follow my heart. You guys all did it and you are happy. I just want to make sure i have a good plan so that my transition will be an easy one.

Financially, i feel that living in canada is very expensive, if i find a job in vn and make my current savings grow. I would be in a better financial position. And i get to be in vn/asia.

In terms of bad people, i am sure there are good people in vn. Look at you folks, i would love to meet you all individually. Your gesture shows that you are good people and willing to  help.

I would love to hear all of your stories.. Pls share.

Allanmta wrote:

This is what i am thinking, i am not happy with my life here

Financial stability is king so you must pay off your mortgage have 2.3 children, a stress related heart condition and an ulcer the size of a black hole.
That way you can die happy in the knowledge you had a lovely house that took you 50 years to pay for, an excellent flat screen TV and a very nice car. You will have made a lot of advertising people happy and a good few salesmen will have a little extra commission on your purchases.
Why would you possibly want to change from the life of a minion who contributes to society with the taxes he pays on his 9 to 5 job, and what would possibly make you want to miss out of the daily office experience so many people enjoy so much?

Really, you have to get sensible, realising your pointless wish to be happy is nothing when compared to your bank manager's love and how much your boss would miss you in the office.
Now think of the disdain you'll receive if you buck the trend, and how terrible it would be having people will talk about you behind your back.
The shame, the shame, and you'd be to blame.

The following is only for people with a sense of adventure, an open mind, and the crazy to get on with it.

Tell your boss to stick his pencil up his nose, then bugger off to Asia and stuff anyone who doesn't like you doing it.

With all the feedback everyone has for you Allan; I hope you will have enough info to base on to make up your mind to move on or to stay in Toronto.
Here is my story: same as you I am from Toronto; the only difference is I had to move on to Vietnam because I lost my job in Toronto so that was the opportunity for me to make the move. For me it was a struggle not because of having to leave every behind (especially childhood memory and I am starting to kind of miss…) but more of the devil of the unknown of the ‘what if' I can't find a job or start a small business to earn a living hoping for some savings after… So after hundreds of resumes sent out; an American company has picked out my resume out of some 200 resumes they received and I finally landed a job in HCMC 3 years now …
So just be brave & move forward because I believe you will always have that last card (a plan B) that is you will still have a place to go back to Canada right?

Thank you all for your responses. I will enjoy the summer and hopefully make a decision before the winter. Again, any feedback is appreciated.

Allan,
There is a line from the American movie Grumpy Old Men that I love: " the only Regrets We have in life are the risk that we did not take" I have a lifetime full of regrets I am 50 years old I to and following my dream to Southeast Asia unlike you I have never been but I'm sure I will love it and I've researched it for a long time and have a sweet little girl waiting on me there if it doesn't work out with her there is a country full of sweet little girls but more than that I think Vietnam is a country of beautiful good people. Don't give up in finding employment in Vietnam I posted on Vietnam works I had first video interview within 2 weeks I was made an offer for employment last night at 11 p.m. which includes a great salary and a beautiful home to live in I wish you luck my friend

Beware, I'm mean and direct.

I won't stop u from dreaming nor discourage u for not trying. The only problem from your post is that you DON'T seem to have a Plan B!!!

Instead of thinking on the bright sides of your Asian Adventure, u'll better off start thinking What if things doesn't work out. Ensure there is enough time and financial buffer to see through it, reality s always harsh.

EternalQuest wrote:

Beware, I'm mean and direct.

I won't stop u from dreaming nor discourage u for not trying. The only problem from your post is that you DON'T seem to have a Plan B!!!

Instead of thinking on the bright sides of your Asian Adventure, u'll better off start thinking What if things doesn't work out. Ensure there is enough time and financial buffer to see through it, reality s always harsh.

Agree, this is what i am working on right now. Plan b and c.

Hi Allan, follow you guts instinct before all...
Only Vietnamese people will advise you to stay put, tell you that Canada or the US are the best countries in the world (They heard that money grows on trees there).
I left Europe for Vietnam 17 years ago and never looked back, of course Vietnam is not perfect and has its downside like any country.
But the quality of life, the adventures and opportunities are plenty.. It is a real treat for the mind.
At the end of the day, you have to follow your heart, the majority of expat here are very happy in Vietnam.
And if things come to worse, you are just a plane ticket away from Canada...

"Build your dream, or someone else will hire you to build theirs..."

I appreciate your input, this is what I am looking for, better quality of life and an adventure. But.. it doesn't hurt if I had a back up plan.

I really love your quote  "Build your dream, or someone else will hire you to build theirs..."

Thank you sir.

Alan, you have two choices:
1. Start drinking heavily.
2. Pack your bags and get yer arse over here!

Follow your dream, dear .

eodmatt wrote:

Alan, you have two choices:
1. Start drinking heavily.
2. Pack your bags and get yer arse over here!

I wish it was this easy, but i would choose both drink heavily while packing.  Lol

Just do it !

Its been a few weeks since you first posted.... the fact is nobody cares on this site whether you stay in Canada or not...you say on your profile ' entrepreneur' yet you cant make a decision...grow a pair mate and stop whining..."I don't know what to do" " I wish it was that easy".....blah, blah, blah!

Leafs haven't won a Stanley Cup since 67.... that would be enough reason to leave Hog Town...

Deepsix wrote:

Its been a few weeks since you first posted.... the fact is nobody cares on this site whether you stay in Canada or not...you say on your profile ' entrepreneur' yet you cant make a decision...grow a pair mate and stop whining..."I don't know what to do" " I wish it was that easy".....blah, blah, blah!

I appreciate the tough love.

Good for you mate...so hopefully you will make a decision....you will get a lot of tree huggers, save the whales and I'm going to change the world types on here that look at Vietnam through 'rose tinted Glasses' they have gone bush and live on the bread line thinking that all the locals love them and this is the place that they want to spend the rest of their lives in....most of them haven't travelled much let alone been an expat...I earn shit loads of money and live like a lord here but if you have a job which includes your accommodation and you earn a grand a month (USD) (it maybe more) like teachers and other's then you can survive...not live but survive....if you have money in the bank and can find a job which will pay your way then come on over and see for yourself...but look at this place realistically and not like a romantic adventure like most do.....bless em!

Man what is it with the Canucks lately who have decision anxiety?!    We just had BC-trapped @StuckInCanada a month ago. Funny, must have been a long cold winter.

Delusion: "I am struggling between ... working with a good job with security".
Doh, two oxymorons: "good job" + "Job with security"

Rule 1. Don't listen to your friends and family. Also applies to questions like "Should I change my career / get divorced / start a business" etc. You are rocking their boat.

Rule 2. Don't listen to Vietnamese. Viets dream of moving to the west, for totally different reasons.

Rule 3. Nothing is permanent. Imagine that there are also very happy people who have moved states and countries, changed career, married / divorced, started / failed businesses. Repeatedly! Be free. Live life. Try something new. Not so much risk in "Try". If you find out you don't like Vietnam, it has its issues, many prefer Thailand, Philippines, Bali, Mexico, Florida. I am in Bangkok now for 6 monthsOr do a part-time Asia/Canada thing. So many options.

Recommendation: For income, take a year to prepare yourself. Save. Buy rental property there. Research. Perhaps you can work for an international company. You can teach english in many countries and that might lead to other opportunities. If you are technical or marketing or sales type, there is tons of internet work for western-level income. Spend a year studying and job prepping, then "try a year".
good luck!   

Just imagine lying on your deathbed when you are old and thinking about the life you had and could  have had. That one thing keeps coming up " why didn't I move to Viet Nam". Give it a try mate, just prepare yourself and have some backup plan. It can be difficult at times, in the first six months I was here I thought "what the hell am I doing here".That was mainly due to having set up a three story shop and office, and I was going mad dealing with the locals and my staff. After I sold the business 2 years later, life was so much better.

My number one tip, don't get caught up with the girls, find a nice girl who has a decent job, good family and can converse in English. Too many guys get stung by the pretty little scammers, if she seems too good to be true, you're most probably just a walking ATM?

colinoscapee wrote:

Just imagine lying on your deathbed when you are old and thinking about the life you had and could  have had. That one thing keeps coming up " why didn't I move to Viet Nam". Give it a try mate, just prepare yourself and have some backup plan. It can be difficult at times, in the first six months I was here I thought "what the hell am I doing here".That was mainly due to having set up a three story shop and office, and I was going mad dealing with the locals and my staff. After I sold the business 2 years later, life was so much better.

My number one tip, don't get caught up with the girls, find a nice girl who has a decent job, good family and can converse in English. Too many guys get stung by the pretty little scammers, if she seems too good to be true, you're most probably just a walking ATM?

Thats the NUMERO UNO warning in Vietnam.

Seem to be a hard choice for you.  But i think what u should do is starting to find a job in Vietnam now.  When getting an offer here,  it s a great opportunity to go. 1or 2 years may give you a good insight of live here.  Then u can decide whether to stay here permanently or not.  As other ppl said u always have anoption to be back home at anytime u want.  What a pity if u care for yr next 30 years,  forget to enjoy the moment n follow yr wish.

3. Arrive in Vietnam and start drinking.

GaryFunk wrote:

3. Arrive in Vietnam and start drinking*.

*Heavily!

I want to move to Canada to experience the life. someday, experiences time length is not enough to make sure that land is the best to live. The land ppl grow up is different from other land you have to adapt, to be accepted. Ofcourse, Western now are welcomed to VN. ppl come in, ppl come out. your choice. I have moved to HCMC for year from Ha Noi, and i still dont get used to with this city. Polutted, noisy, no friends, no family, not security...but still your choice. It should be something to drive you to here or something/some one to skeep you stay. Many ppl come here to do business and success, and they have a good life because of exchange rate and more successful on business because they are foreigner. You could be.

Hi Allan,

Fear stops many people from fulfilling their dreams, you got to have blind faith and jump, you can have the best of both countries.

I am adventurous and have been in your shoes, If thinking doing air bnb , we can discuss this option, I have been living in Saigon on / off Australia for the last 8 years, Asia is an addictive region, compared to the luxurious boring west.

Feel free to chat with me ................Des     Brisbane / Saigon     hd375c

Sorry guys, but with all due respect, what can any of you tell/ teach someone that has lived 8 out of the last 14 months in HCMC?

Allan you are almost 40 years old and with your recent experience of Vietnam, you still searching for "help"?
Could it be that your family and friends don't want you to go to VN is because can't make a decision to save your akole?
Man up and chose what you want regardless of what your family, friends or expats in Vietnam say.
It's your life, own up to it, live like the man you could be and quit acting like the child you were and still are.

Hello everyone,

just to inform you that some off topic comments have been removed from the Saigon forum, and also please avoid generalization on the forum. Thank you.

hd375c wrote:

Hi Allan,

Fear stops many people from fulfilling their dreams, you got to have blind faith and jump, you can have the best of both countries.

I agree.
Travel and adventure aren't for everyone, and I almost missed out because of people telling me how foolish I was being, and how I must be sensible.

Stuff them to hell - I would never have done the wild things I've done, I would have missed out on piles of fun, and I wouldn't have masses of crazy stories for the nurses not to believe when I'm old and stuffed in some home, pooping the bed and saying inappropriate things to women in the hope I'll get away with being disgusting because they think I've lost my marbles.

Question is - what stories do 9 to 5 bods tell their nurses?
One day I was in the office when the pencil sharpener broke - it was a horrible experience.

Ner, not for me.

gobot wrote:

Man what is it with the Canucks lately who have decision anxiety?!    We just had BC-trapped @StuckInCanada a month ago. Funny, must have been a long cold winter.

Delusion: "I am struggling between ... working with a good job with security".
Doh, two oxymorons: "good job" + "Job with security"

Rule 1. Don't listen to your friends and family. Also applies to questions like "Should I change my career / get divorced / start a business" etc. You are rocking their boat.

Rule 2. Don't listen to Vietnamese. Viets dream of moving to the west, for totally different reasons.

Rule 3. Nothing is permanent. Imagine that there are also very happy people who have moved states and countries, changed career, married / divorced, started / failed businesses. Repeatedly! Be free. Live life. Try something new. Not so much risk in "Try". If you find out you don't like Vietnam, it has its issues, many prefer Thailand, Philippines, Bali, Mexico, Florida. I am in Bangkok now for 6 monthsOr do a part-time Asia/Canada thing. So many options.

Recommendation: For income, take a year to prepare yourself. Save. Buy rental property there. Research. Perhaps you can work for an international company. You can teach english in many countries and that might lead to other opportunities. If you are technical or marketing or sales type, there is tons of internet work for western-level income. Spend a year studying and job prepping, then "try a year".
good luck!   

One of the comments that make a lot of sense! Good luck, Allan!

I think Gobot and Joe Pham gave good advice.

I tell my Vietnamese wife we will go to Canada for a couple years and you can decide if we should stay in Canada or Vietnam. Listen to the people that have experienced actually living in the country rather than dreaming and hearing about it.

Your situation is similar to mines. I was in my mid-thirties had a unionized well paid job that I could work until retirement. I gave that all up to live in Vietnam 3 years ago and am still in Vietnam.

You need to plan your finances very carefully. How long you can last on your savings if you had no income coming in. Are you relying solely on rental income to finance your lifestyle and what happens if a recession hits?

Are you going to be single your entire life in Vietnam? What happens when you get bored of the Vietnam scene?

"One day you will wake up and there won't be anymore time to do the things you've always wanted. Do it now" (Paulo Coelho).
The thing is to figure out what you want most in your life. Then the decision is made.

You can message me to chat I am in a similar position and age to you but live in Australia I am transitioning to being a digital nomad to support myself