I dont know what to do..

can there be a bigger insult to philippinos than saying, their women are into old foreigners, because it is their culture???

Hi All,

Please note that personal attacks are not acceptable on the forum. I urge you to focus on the original topic of this thread please.

You must all understand that it's all about catcat_11's choice. All you can do is to give her some advices and share your experiences.

Thank you for your understanding.

Hasnaa
Expat.com Team

Perhaps I missed it along the way, but I have not read about the religions of the two people in question here.  Does that play a part in your decision?

You just need money for living but it doesnt set you free. After you die where will your money goes? Important thing is youre living in this world with a peace of mind, happy and contented. If you will just work hard not hardly working money will come to you.. honor, wisdom, power, and riches are useless in this world. In heaven we are all treated equal. Thanks guys! More power.

catcat_11 wrote:

You just need money for living but it doesnt set you free. After you die where will your money goes? Important thing is youre living in this world with a peace of mind, happy and contented. If you will just work hard not hardly working money will come to you.. honor, wisdom, power, and riches are useless in this world. In heaven we are all treated equal. Thanks guys! More power.

Does this mean you are both Christians?

No.im a Godly woman but he doesnt have God. But for me he is a good human being.and its not his fault if he doesnt know that there is God.maybe someday, he will realize it.i might not be his partner in the future important is i let him know that God is present.iam asking myself why he came to my life  ..i just thought that maybe thats the purpose...

Could be a trouble area

90% of Bangladeshi people are muslims... he should be a muslim by birth. unless he decided to be an atheist along the way. if you think muslim people do not have a god, then you have a big fundemental problem there too... either way, less likely but he can be a budhist or hindu, but still both have their own gods. I find it very unlikely true that he wants to live in saudi arabia and he is an atheist... my instincts tell me he is a religious muslim and that may be the reason he did not approach you sexually yet... but this is just a feeling.

catcat_11 wrote:

No.im a Godly woman but he doesnt have God. But for me he is a good human being.and its not his fault if he doesnt know that there is God.maybe someday, he will realize it.i might not be his partner in the future important is i let him know that God is present.iam asking myself why he came to my life  ..i just thought that maybe thats the purpose...

Exactly what does that mean?  Are you a Christian?  Do you feel it is your mission to turn him on to God?  Do you really think God sent him into your life so you could convert him?  Why not just respect his lack of faith and move on?

trifyllis wrote:

can there be a bigger insult to philippinos than saying, their women are into old foreigners, because it is their culture???

Part of maturity and intelligence is readily accepting ambiguity in people. Bearing in mind "accepting" is not internalizing or embracing ambiguity... The reason(s) should be self evident. Because they revolve around social philosophy versus social hypocrisy. When someone embraces a form of social behavior and is openly living the behavior they have embraced, it is ambiguous, and points to credibility issues, to advise others to live differently, without the addition of "qualifiers", to explain why.

Hypocrisy is nullified to various degrees with explanation of why one is critical, of others, living a similar or the same lifestyle, as the one who is criticizing.... This alludes to the mighty, "do as I say, not as I do", type person, who is critical of others, for living the same lifestyle. Obviously they are bula-bula, unless they can explain the differences. 

By far and away, the biggest factor of living a social hypocritical life is economics. "We" compromise, because economics demands that we compromise. Social inequality is fact, and it's not going away on a whim. Social freedom, is like (any) other type, or kinds of freedom, one has as much of the freedom as they can afford....

The more money one has the less bound they are to social tradition, this is worldwide. Older foreigners come to the Philippines in search of young women, to marry and very often to have children with, and the idea of trophy wife has to be considered.

"They" come because they can afford these young women. It is the primary reason.  These older foreigners who come to the Philippines are no different than older men anywhere else in the world. Older men in the West have young women too. This is the same in Turkey and Greece, it is no different there... Lots and lots, many and many, the (only) difference is how deep their pockets are, that is, how much more wealthy are they than the (average) everyday Greek or Turkey.

In first world economies younger women cost more....

That's why in traditional Western societies one sees younger women with older (more) wealthy men. They are not necessarily rich older men, but they are still higher up on the wealth curve. This wealth associated with older men, and younger women, is no different in any society, in the world. Regardless of what the countries per-capita income is. It is all the same.

Wealthier older men have younger women (everywhere), in every country.  So the insult you seem to insist upon hurling, is worldwide, it is by no means just in the Philippines.

This discussion is relevant to the topic, because of the age differences of the potential couple. catcat_11 brought it up, and stated it was not an overriding issue. Much like Filipinas, don't view it as an overriding issue. I thank you for the opportunity to help clear this up perhaps at least a little bit in your mind. Because of the universality of the behavior.

Sincerely,

Happy Trails!

well I stopped talking about that , but thank you for enlightening, in a polite manner. it is not possible for me to understand that state of mind, as I rather die than marrying a man just because he has "enough funds". young or old. worse if old. I am sure there are instances where real love occurs. but 5 years in the phils, doing food biz in makati (some time in makati avenue) I have seen too many. marrying is the best case scenario. most of the times this just does not happen. these girls, instead of trying to produce and stand on their feet, look for a sugar daddy. and I find this very annoying. I also find it annoying that, older foreigners benefit too much from that.

yes this happens every where in the world. yes also in turkey there are girls jump on laps for a branded bag. but not this much,not this often. and for sure it is not welcomed or highly motivated by the families. most of the cases on the contrary it is found to be a move full of shame. you will not be appreciated by your cycle, you will be gossiped about "she married that old guy for her money" well yeah I admit, this is a prejudicial approach as well, as real love may occur.

however, I doubt there are many romantic scenarios here, also this very case. she may be drowned to him, but I am not convinced he is a man without an agenda.

I am a lover of this country and it is beautiful people. sadly it is now, number one in the world for sex tourism and child abuse. ok this girl here is not a child but apparently also not mature enough, so she seriously considers to be dragged to saudi arabia, as a catholic woman. I heard horror stories about what happens there to philippino citizens. I am not sure she won't be sold, pimped or forced to work as a domestic helper in heavy conditions. I find it highly unlikely that he loves him. if he did, he would not want to drag her there but try to start a life here. see maybe I am making a mistake, but everything is off and zillions of pieces are missing in this puzzle.

it is so very sad how young girls endanger their lives after some old guy with financial stability, and that is also a maybe, because, the real wealthy ones do not come here most of the times.

recently this news are going on, about the virtual 10 years old philippino girl, that takes hundreds of hits everyday. they located 1000 pedophiles from all around the world in 2 months. not turkish, african, chinese or american child. a philippino child!!!!... and it sickens me... one country on earth becoming a target for its young girls, children, little boys... every time I see such story I just get angry.

I am not saying all older men are pedophiles of course. but still they have an agenda. I also am not saying all girls are innocent, however they have survival instinct, which actually prepares their sad ends. some of the people I have met, some of the stories I have heard. oooo god, I wish there was a way to erase them all... so it is no surprise I may have over reacted, but I got angry when I received insults even though I did not target any one here... for some reason they took it personally...

philippines have enough catastrophy, I don't think they also need all the old men of the world to abuse their young women...

The May-December romances are directly proportional to the poverty level of the country.  The Philippines are poorer than Turkey, and mostly non-Muslim, so one would expect more of the older man couplings.  The sex trade works the same way, with American bases previously setting the ground work, so that 20 years ago the infrastructure was set to expand the market and become more international.  There are enough success stories in which the whole extended family benefits to make it seem worth the risk, as evidenced by this story where the facts say  "RUN" but the female clings to the unrealistic hope that things are not as they appear to be.  Economics trumps gossip in the Philippines.

mugtech wrote:

The May-December romances are directly proportional to the poverty level of the country.  The Philippines are poorer than Turkey, and mostly non-Muslim, so one would expect more of the older man couplings.  The sex trade works the same way, with American bases previously setting the ground work, so that 20 years ago the infrastructure was set to expand the market and become more international.  There are enough success stories in which the whole extended family benefits to make it seem worth the risk, as evidenced by this story where the facts say  "RUN" but the female clings to the unrealistic hope that things are not as they appear to be.  Economics trumps gossip in the Philippines.

true, however philippines is possibly the most catholic country on earth (which is seriously more conservative than our way of living islam), being the only place, where divorce is not still allowed and sexual protection is not welcomed. I find it extremely confusing, many catholic families promote these actions. I really symphatize with the survival instinct, and I am fully aware that some cases are hopeless, but still some choose to work as maids instead of looking for a husband. so still there is always positive and moral use of initiative...

Well i like him..when i saw him personally. I like some of his principles. We jive in some stuffs. But you know since i have just finished my studies and been so serious to it, i still want to be free from big responsibilities as a mom. But he really wanted me to be. Well he already knew my answer. And he accepted it..we just have different aim thats why we didnt meet at one direction. He is a good man and we didnt fight on religion. We respect each other.its just that i cannot marry to the time he wanted to. Well we did both effort.we did not blame each other. He knows my mind. I know his mentality too. If you will see him he is not off looking. He looks just 30..i just feel to go along with people who is older than me..thats it byebye guys. Thanks po.

Guys dont come to an arguement. Just relax..