I dont know what to do..

Sounds like he is pressuring you into marrying him, which you do not want to do.
Why are you in trouble ?
He is the cause of any 'trouble'.
You should explain to him that although you like him you are not ready to commit to marriage just yet.
Ask him to back off a little and see if the relationship moves in a better direction.
If you are then still unsure or unhappy I suggest you end the relationship.
If you do end the relationship look on it as a learning curve so you will benefit from this knowledge when you meet someone else.

But do not let him pressure you into doing something you will later regret.

yes it is. its like  i feel pressured about it. although i saw his clean intention to me. but i already told him to wait bec i can marry but not as instant as he wanted to. as for him he went my home and mingled my family, showed who he was. he felt like im ungrateful bec what he want is i must go with him. yes i will, problem is i want to make things between us not that so fast. but for him 1 year is already enough to know each other.

As painful as it may be I suggest you leave him. 

He is being extremely selfish and seems to only want what he wants without any consideration of your feelings. 

He is not worth it.

what he want is when he came back this year we should marry. then i feel not comfortable.

if u ask my opinion, when it comes about marriage you should listen and only listen to yourself, marry him only if you feel you are ready, not under someone else's pressure, and if he loves you the same as you love him he should and he will value ur opinio too

we have it all..the only lacking is to get married.and he value that much as well as me.what iam trying to make him understand is when iam well prepared to understand everything and iam completely ready to shoulder what ever challenge we are going to encounter is when atleast i got 26 or bfore 27. he has agony already and trauma about his past,thats why its to hard for him to trust again. we really had a good relationshp but settlement bring us trouble since he is ready and iam not yet.i wanna find best solution to it bec he is important to me already.

by this time im running to be 26..problem with him he doesnt like to wait..

had he valued u the same way u value him, he would have listened to you, take your time, do not hasten any of your decisions under pressure, because it in the moments of crisis you get to know the true nature of a person, give you relation some time, you are prepared to spend the rest of you life with this man, so a few years wont make that much of a difference, he is not a girl who is getting older and wont be able to bear children in future whats the hurry, and more over after marriage he will be working in jeddah what will you do then, clean his family home and take care of his child, do you think you will have the freedom living with him parents while he is in jeddah coming back who knows after an absense of 2-3 years at a time, finish your education, be independent, pursue your dream, dreams that will not hold you back, dreams which will help you grow, give this relation a little more time, you are so young now take it a little slow, marry him sure, but do it in a proper way, remember you are all alone now every passing opportunity will look like the best option for you, take you time, time will tell you which path to take

well as i understand him he has this big fear. to be betrayed again at his past.big trauma to him when his ex agreed to marry but when he came here her ex didnt agreed a day bfore the marriage absolutely change mind..the scenario was dump to me.he is now trusting but afraid to risk time for me.yes he also value me.he just really need an assurance to me. now i finished 6yrs of collegiate course.already working for just 2yrs. he is40 already. a physician. and he want to marry direct. bec for him engagement are like tissue paper.

i have a good news. i thank God for letting me to know this site. bec it help me to broaden my mind. as for me i really dont want to hurriedly get married.i still want to enjoy my life. you know when i use some words u gave me,i think it helped. bec he understand me better. i have a feeling now that he can wait..as long as i will not take my age at 30 when i will marry him.

catcat_11 wrote:

well as i understand him he has this big fear. to be betrayed again at his past.big trauma to him when his ex agreed to marry but when he came here her ex didnt agreed a day bfore the marriage absolutely change mind..the scenario was dump to me.he is now trusting but afraid to risk time for me.yes he also value me.he just really need an assurance to me. now i finished 6yrs of collegiate course.already working for just 2yrs. he is40 already. a physician. and he want to marry direct. bec for him engagement are like tissue paper.

catcat_11,

I'm in total agreement with Mr. Shahidzmn778, on his post above. Surprised! There should not be any, the post makes good sense. Go slow.... It's not even the idea that he is pushing you to marry him, before you've come to your own conclusions. This is not really unusual behavior, it's perfectly normal. Someone has to make up their mind and push / decide to take the more final binding steps in meaningful relationships, someone usually leads, and tugs the other along. But this entire scenario is unsettling.

A major part of this is why did the other woman so dramatically change her mind. this is unusual to say the least... And, you too are at least contemplating warning signs. It also sounds like you were the "rebound relationship" that is after the big hurt or disappointment, he "latched" onto you. With your stating he dumped the situation onto you, in your lap, about the trust and lack of trust, of his past emotional baggage, of his prior relationship. That's not a good move, none of that is your fault, and at his age it tends to point to lack of emotional maturity. Still it's reasonable for him to be concerned about being burned yet again, by someone he's invested heavily in. So in fairness to him, there's little to be learned or gained in life, by being kicked by a mule, a second time.

He's educated as you've stated he's a Physician, but his being forty years, and no wife before also is something to consider. Consider is the right word, because being 40 years and still single is not necessarily unusual, unless he has been trying to marry for a while, and keeps coming up empty handed. I mentioned to you before, the usefulness of traveling to his country, home, family, and taking a well thought out look before the "leap". If both of you are working professionals, your being at maybe a masters level in a field, or beyond, this should not be a major problem... for either of you.... And I find it startling, and perhaps a little [revealing], that you and he have not decided to take that relatively simple step... This begs the question, is there a problem there..

A visit, would allow you to bring all of your intellect and senses to bear. Stomach's can be pretty smart sometimes. The probability is your stomach is what brought you to this site and pushed you to ask these (very useful) questions.

Good (thoughtful, thinking, evaluating) luck to you. Applying analytical thought to "love" might seem sterile, passionless, dry and just down right laboratory like.  But it is not, it's just dealing with the situation at hand.

Well i can feel his sincerity. Prior to courtship, he already told me that, my aim is to marry.will you marry me? THats the introduction. But i refuse, i told him that i cannot marry him that fast bec i have to know him first. And he must be patient. His past buried him for too much disappoinment. after 3yrs of relationship the girl chosen a work rather than to marry him. He is seemingly having a characteristics of being perfectionist to a girl. I can feel is more on reality. When it comes to love. He didnt make my stomach to have butterflies in it. He didnt give me lots of gifts. He just use himself to make me fall in love with.He doesnt have full of emotions..Yes iam already a professional but its my first time to love. Unfortunately, the one who came is in a hurry.

He trusted me in the beginning, he loved me. But ofcourse im not that easy to believed in. So i didnt believe. Until he came for a visit wiThout any of my help. He pushed it. Until i got a call that he is already here in the philippines. That past relationship of him was last 2001.then he searched and searched.until he found my friend.a nurse of him..he said he wants a girl which is filipina, a doctor also. An educated one. Then i was found.

His is asking me to try sometime to work in saudia so that you will know how it feels. But iam still in the middle of gaining strenght before working abroad. Bec iam a dental health professional its not that very easy. He wanted me and him will work in jeddah,then we will talk about settlement after. As for him, what he showed us when he is here is enough for me to know him.. for him he already showed me who he is. But for me i still want to take some time. Build moments. Then after we can marry. But for him, he wanted to be sure of with everything. Marry me directly if you really want me.if you really love me.

catcat_11 wrote:

His is asking me to try sometime to work in saudia so that you will know how it feels. But iam still in the middle of gaining strenght before working abroad. Bec iam a dental health professional its not that very easy. He wanted me and him will work in jeddah,then we will talk about settlement after. As for him, what he showed us when he is here is enough for me to know him.. for him he already showed me who he is. But for me i still want to take some time. Build moments. Then after we can marry. But for him, he wanted to be sure of with everything. Marry me directly if you really want me.if you really love me.

working in Saudi for a girl like you is very difficult, he's saying that you will lived in jeddah, why?? did he already bought a house for you to live there?? do you know what will be you're situation when you get there?? think, what if you go to jeddah?? both of you will work right?? you will definitely don't have enough time for yourselves. . . ok, lets say you have time, and then you got pregnant?? do you know what will happened to you there??

think first. do you know that if he really love you, you should have all the terms because your the girl, you are not the one to be pressured, if he really love you he must give you all the time for you to decide, marriage must be bind by love and not by pressure. . .think carefully!

RUN... Run as far from this man as you can. There is a reason he is pressuring you to marry and I doubt its a good reason!

AuzzieAbroard wrote:

RUN... Run as far from this man as you can. There is a reason he is pressuring you to marry and I doubt its a good reason!

You know, I must agree with the above reply, I would be very very careful in what his real intentions are.  Yes, I am male, and I can truthfully say that not all males intentions are for the best and his pressuring you to get married so quickly is ringing a few alarm bells.

I'm in a slightly similar situation, in a LDR and will not be getting married for 3 years, even though both of us could move to the others country and get married now, we both want to finish up what we are doing and it worked out to be 3 years.  So you can see, it was a mutual decision, neither of us pressuring/pushing the other into getting married NOW.

I also have been 'burnt'/hurt in previous relationships, but that makes me actually go slower in new ones, not faster as I want to ensure that both of us are happy and committed to a mutual future/direction, not one taking complete control and saying "This is how it's going to be", without letting the partner have any say.

If he can not wait, then there is some reason (or something majorly wrong) that he has not told you about and I would do as per the previous reply says, RUN... RUN NOW.... and don't look back.

There are many more men who would love to find a warm, loving, caring Filipina and be happy to wait for her to achieve her goals/dreams before making the final commitment of getting married.  So, toss this one back in the water, there are a lot more fish out there.

Cheers

He wanted me to take decision. One decision but im in doubt. He ask me that if i love him ..marry him bec he wanted to have family already. He is already old..etc. as for me i wanted to go slow. As for him i shouldnt hang him. Once in for all tell him if i wanted to then he will come to marry. Then if not, no problem he will go on his way to make his life. Bec for him if you really want a person if you really love a person go and marry him. But me things are not yet developed deeply.though he stayed at our house for 3 days,..well i entrust to God everything. Thsnk you for your .God blesd

If you are in doubt about making a decision, then it is your instinct telling you not to.  You may not know the reason now, but your instinct or gut feeling is what you should listen to.  If you think there is something not right, then it is probably true.

If he really truly does love you, he will wait, if he doesn't, then his feelings were a lie.  Think about that before you make your decision.

Cheers

catcat_11 wrote:

He wanted me to take decision. One decision but im in doubt. He ask me that if i love him ..marry him bec he wanted to have family already. He is already old..etc. as for me i wanted to go slow. As for him i shouldnt hang him. Once in for all tell him if i wanted to then he will come to marry. Then if not, no problem he will go on his way to make his life. Bec for him if you really want a person if you really love a person go and marry him. But me things are not yet developed deeply.though he stayed at our house for 3 days,..well i entrust to God everything. Thsnk you for your .God blesd

#13  2013-10-29 11:51:34
""Well i can feel his sincerity. Prior to courtship, he already told me that, my aim is to marry.will you marry me? THats the introduction:""

Catcat_11, you can (feel) the sincerity of his (words).... That's really all you knew at the time. And looking at things from a male's point of view, what is there to lose by telling a girl you want to marry her right out of the gate, before you actually even meet her or spend (significant time)* with her. It's an easy thing to say.... 

Say it he did, you also said he was easy or light on presents....that he did not really invest in the relationship, beyond his words, and sincerity, he "used himself as the gift".... There's absolutely nothing wrong with this, but it needs to be analyzed a little anyway in some form of context....

Giving gifts is common throughout the animal kingdom as an expression of "Love or interest", without the higher order thought patterns of more sophisticated animals, or beings, or even plain old every day organisms. Keeping in context on the theme of gift giving, even (insects) give gifts to potential mates, which is pretty extraordinary. But it does show the ubiquity of the idea.

However I can't find fault with a person simply because he does not give gifts, but it has to be recognized and understood, that giving gifts is a very common way of showing affection. And it also has to be recognized as a bit of a "disinvestment" strategy in a relationship, that has not been cemented, for example...by ENGAGEMENT. We are talking about a professional man, here. You had mentioned his belief, thoughts, ideas, of engagement... is like "tissue paper" to him. This is a little unusual...[ One bad apple ] does not necessarily spoil the whole barrel. So this begs the question are there more "bad apples" that he has had negative experiences with....


#14  2013-10-29 12:01:06
""He trusted me in the beginning:""

A relationship from afar, has little choice but to trust...one is not there to physically see or have any "occupational" control, so one is forced to trust. There is really nothing unusual, or showing any kind of (extra) love, commitment, or devotion, it's more a matter of making the best of the situation, of which distance is a barrier.... because one does not have any choice. But it is useful, in it allows feelings to grow on both sides of the relationship.

""That past relationship of him was last 2001.then he searched and searched:""

In my mind this is a major crack in the foundation, of the story so far... You are talking 13 years here, [that's a whole lot of searching going on]. In perspective The Great Odysseus, of the Greeks; also known as The Great Ulysses, of the Romans; was almost finished with three quarters of his 20 years of (legendary searching) in this amount of time. This part pulls my mind to your statement of him saying, how little trust he has in endearments of traditional romance, this gets back, or harks back, to the idea of engagement being like "tissue paper" to him....Perhaps he has compelling reason(s) for thinking this way.

13 years of searching in vain, and he finally found you.... The one he's been searching for, well on into the 2nd decade no less...  Hum...Well I do understand a woman's need to feel (special...) and there can often be some serious self aggrandizing vanity, in deciding just "how wonderful I really am" that lucky him, finally found me...

Self Aggrandizement: The act or practice of enhancing or exaggerating one's own importance, power, or reputation.

""He pushed it. Until i got a call that he is already here in the philippines:""

This falls back to the trust issue, doesn't it? Showing up out of the blue, from thousands of miles away, without letting you know he's coming until he's figuratively on your door step.... Well again thinking from a male's point of view it does give a "bird's eye view" of what is really going on with the Filipina.  Because There's little time for the Filipina to prepare, maneuver, or  (fix things) and make herself completely ready... If she has another man, she will probably just cough it up, and tell the newly arrived suitor, that things aren't really working out between them.

But and it's important for you to understand if he was really trusting...he would have let you know he's coming. But again considering the history in his stories, I can't really fault him for that either.... But it's more self aggrandizing on your part, again, to think it's only out of complete love and trust that he suddenly shows up on the horizon. Love and (investigation) would be a better description of his visit of haste. If a man really wants to know what's going on just showing up unannounced is an excellent way of seeing exactly what is going on

""until he found my friend.a nurse of him..he said he wants a girl which is filipina, a doctor also. An educated one. Then i was found:""

This is easy enough to understand, the nurse friend tells him you are Doctor and single, that he may be interested in you, and he then seeks to find out more, this is normal in the scouting stage, when seekers are seeking others, of whom are also interested in being sought. Boy meets girl, girl meets boy type thing....


#15  2013-10-29 12:13:38
""His is asking me to try sometime to work in saudia so that you will know how it feels:""

This is a big step, there's (lots) pluses and minuses, he wants you to come with him, and work in a contract environment as an Expatriate. Is this after you've married him or before you've married him? It's easy enough for me to see that one could go and do this without being married, first, and then deciding sometime in the next year or so, if marriage is "in the cards" or not. 

What are you giving up to go and try this?  If you are only giving up working in someone else's  clinic,  and you've not started your own business, that is, your own Dental Clinic, then there obvious advantages to going abroad and seeing / experiencing life in another environment, culture. You're still young and it's hard to see how this would have a negative impact on your life.


These comments are just "food for thought", if you can remember your organic chemistry, the distillation process in lab, the continually refining of "solutions" as you take and manipulate certain generalities,  then keep streamlining them through a series of laboratory maneuvers into their more basic crystalline parts. It's called "reductionism", for lack of a better word I guess. But it does boil, cook, strain, separate, divide, and remove (extraneous parts), à la the "crucible".  One gets down the fundamental piece or pieces of an "experiment". Relationships are always experiments, especially in the beginning, with so many (unknowns).


#11  2013-10-28 10:31:59
""i have a good news. i thank God for letting me to know this site. bec it help me to broaden my mind. as for me i really dont want to hurriedly get married.i still want to enjoy my life. you know when i use some words u gave me,i think it helped. bec he understand me better. i have a feeling now that he can wait..as long as i will not take my age at 30 when i will marry him""

Catcat_11, voicing my opinion as a "reductionists" I would say he does not have a choice, he has actually (decided) little, if anything... He tried to push the envelope, and force your hand.... you pushed back, politely, and maybe even delicately, and even if you ever so gently said no. It was still no....

If I could walk a mile in this Chaps shoes, the Indian Doc, I'd be thinking about my relationship before, in 2001 that is a striking " bilateral - mirror image" of the (present) relationship now...that he has just agreed... and placed himself into. Wait three more years, after having already committed one year....and with the failed attempt to make you move faster.

A "bilateral" mirror image, or simply put "mirror symmetry", means that an object or shape has two halves that are identical mirror images of each other...

Realistically what are his choices...?  Wait for you, in hopes that you will do as you (implied...), that is (exactly what happened before), with his other professional Filipina, of three or four years duration. Or, he can break off the relationship, and keep moving along with his great search....  Those are his choices.

Well there is a (third) choice, he can stay in the relationship as is, and continue to keep looking as time moves along, but in many ways this is self defeating. This guy, based on this story, so far  anyway, does not need any more defeats.

There was a great song by a guy named Paul Simon, called "fifty ways to leave your lover" there is a line in the song that goes like this.... "I'll repeat myself at the risk of being crude...."

And, so I will repeat myself, again, at the risk of being crude.

Dear Mr. Bangladeshi Doc,

There's nothing in life to be learned, by being kicked by a mule a second time.


I'll kindly refer to what the baseball umpire, said. "I just call them the way I see them, not necessarily the way they are."

Ramblingroads wrote:

catcat_11 wrote:

He wanted me to take decision. One decision but im in doubt. He ask me that if i love him ..marry him bec he wanted to have family already. He is already old..etc. as for me i wanted to go slow. As for him i shouldnt hang him. Once in for all tell him if i wanted to then he will come to marry. Then if not, no problem he will go on his way to make his life. Bec for him if you really want a person if you really love a person go and marry him. But me things are not yet developed deeply.though he stayed at our house for 3 days,..well i entrust to God everything. Thsnk you for your .God blesd

I'll

If you gonna see him personally you will pity him. You will feel he is kind.. i can feel he is a good man. But i feel sorry to him bec iam not yet into settlement.

Pity is not love.

I feel the reason he wants you to go to Saudi to work is so that you will depend wholly on him as you will have no family and no friends there.

It is yet another way to pressure you into marrying him.

Hmmmm,

in regards to Ramblingrubbi... err roads reply... tl;dr

No idea what all the above was about.  Suggest you think about a career in writing novels and not giving short succinct advice

Cheers

catcat_11 wrote:

If you gonna see him personally you will pity him. You will feel he is kind.. i can feel he is a good man. But i feel sorry to him bec iam not yet into settlement.

Hmmm, don't feel sorry or pity for him.  He is supposedly a grown man, but to me is sounding very insecure in himself.  If he is, do not expect too much as he will be more focussed on his own feelings than yours.

Again, stop 'thinking' with your heart and listen to your instincts.  Also, you have goals and dreams you want to do before marrying this man, and if he doesn't like or support that, then his interest is not fully 100% in you.

Remember, you probably want to spend the rest of your life with him, are you happy to be with someone who does not give you their 100% attention?

Cheers

Senutyenool wrote:

Hmmmm,

in regards to Ramblingrubbi... err roads reply... tl;dr

No idea what all the above was about.  Suggest you think about a career in writing novels and not giving short succinct advice

Cheers

Well you have to read... and think a bit... it's not government work, ha...., sorry couldn't resist,  also if you haven't read the other thread, "marrying an indian bf" there's part of this story over there too.

I appreciate your advice of short and succinct, but it's not a short and succinct issue, at least I don't see it that way. There is more involved than, "this is good" or "this is bad". I speak to some of the underlying issues, that are easy enough to see, or glean out, it's always about clarity... The Girl does have a (Doctorate degree).... so a little organic chemistry won't confuse her,  I see no reason to write at a 3rd grade level, and I never do anyway.

There's plenty of the one, two, or three, liners here.... ie they are the lion's share of post, but some of us take the time to analyze things. There's always two stories... if one writes a paragraph or two. There's the written lines, and then there's the message in-between the lines. Both can be valuable...

Live and let live my friend.

True that and do agree with what you are saying.  Thing is you have to remember in this type of medium (forum) most replies are usually short, now if this were to go to a blog it would be the ideal reply as people tend to spend more time reading and analyzing blogs, whilst forums (bulletin boards for those old enough to know) are usually used to quickly impart info without getting right down to the nuts and bolts.

Anywho, starting to hijack this thread, so time to steer this back on track.

Ultimately it is her choice and all we can provide here is 'OUR' advice.  So take it all with a grain of salt.  Remember, it is your life also that matters here, not just his.

Cheers

catcat_11 wrote:

If you gonna see him personally you will pity him. You will feel he is kind.. i can feel he is a good man. But i feel sorry to him bec iam not yet into settlement.

Yes, Catcat_11,

I do "feel" the pity, that you bring with you, and I see it playing out, with your making excuses for some of his questionable behavior. But it's not overtly bad behavior, marriage usually comes with good intentions, between two consenting adults... It's just some of his tactics seem a little more tricky than you are willing to acknowledge, so far anyway.

My statement of being kicked by a mule "twice" smacks of pity for the Indian Doc. Meaning with his latest... arrangement, he's setting himself up again, to be disappointed. By his agreeing to another long distance relationship, with a three or four year (maybe baby?) tacked onto it, one would have to say, he's standing directly behind a mule that has both feet cocked and ready.

The thing I see, here that perhaps, others don't, or they are just ignoring it, because it complicates the "equation" is, [ you have all the power ].... He's the one dangling on the end of the fishing pole line.

Being kicked by a mule, can cause serious damage, and the only reason, back in the day, someone would get kicked by a mule, is they got comfortable and careless. In the Indian Doc's defense,
the second kick, might kill him, so it's just plain (stupid) --- to get kicked again.

My take again, I just call em like I see em.

Today 10:58:38
Senutyenool

Roger that!

He knows me alot. I mean ive been true to him and honest eversince.he knows it.he told me that we are like oil and water. Cannot be mixed together.somehow he have points to me already. HE didnt even touch me when he is here. His goal is just simply to have a family already. He is single. Not even yet married. Its just that iam afraid to face life after marriage.

He had all the means. Bec he prepared for it. Financially stable. Its just that im letting God to dictate what is the best thing to do. Nothing i just post here for some sort of conversation.

Hi Catcat,


I have read your predicament & the advices from our friends. i think you have to reconsider his proposal. You're still young, someone more special will come along. Don't hurry up things, who knows one of these days you'll meet somebody that will make your heart flutter. Enjoy the single life ....

o come onnnnn, if you doubt, let him go.it means you do not really love him. I did not think a second when my husband proposed me. marriage is no joke. he can be your father. I am 38, even I would think if I should marry him. him being financially stable is not enough. btw, I gotta remind you, in saudi, 4 wives are officially allowed. so do not be surprised, next year comes a 22 year old, new philippina wife, or maybe you are the younger wife. what is it with philippinas and old foreign men??? you have one life, do not spoil it for a life in a foreign country. marry a man of your age, your kind, have a safe, happy life...

trifyllis wrote:

o come onnnnn, if you doubt, let him go.it means you do not really love him. I did not think a second when my husband proposed me. marriage is no joke. he can be your father. I am 38, even I would think if I should marry him. him being financially stable is not enough. btw, I gotta remind you, in saudi, 4 wives are officially allowed. so do not be surprised, next year comes a 22 year old, new philippina wife, or maybe you are the younger wife. what is it with philippinas and old foreign men??? you have one life, do not spoil it for a life in a foreign country. marry a man of your age, your kind, have a safe, happy life...

You're living in the Philippines and have to ask why Filipinas prefer older men (predominantly western)?  How about before asking asinine questions you do some quick research and you'll be amazed how much information you find on that subject, heck even I know the answer and I don't live there.... yet.

So you did not think (seems a recurring theme) when your husband proposed to you, how about expanding on that and explaining just how long you had been 'together'? For all we know you had known each other for quite some time (possibly years) and therefore were able to say 'Yes' immediately because you knew it felt right.... or for some other nefarious reason/s which we won't go into.

Marry a man of her age, and kind.... again, go do some research before spruiking rubbish, will actually make you look less foolish than what is currently been presented.

Oh, forgot to add, stop thinking like a Kano and try to immerse yourself in their culture and beliefs/traditions, after all, you moved there, they didn't ask you to go, hence, leave your 'western' values/traditions at the airport before you enter 'THEIR' country......

Cheers

trifyllis wrote:

o come onnnnn, if you doubt, let him go.it means you do not really love him. I did not think a second when my husband proposed me. marriage is no joke. he can be your father. I am 38, even I would think if I should marry him. him being financially stable is not enough. btw, I gotta remind you, in saudi, 4 wives are officially allowed. so do not be surprised, next year comes a 22 year old, new philippina wife, or maybe you are the younger wife. what is it with philippinas and old foreign men??? you have one life, do not spoil it for a life in a foreign country. marry a man of your age, your kind, have a safe, happy life...

A bit of (your) personal history...
______________________________________

About me:
we are a greek-turkish married couple. spent 2 years in manila. now back here with our little baby boy.
_______________________________________

A Greek <-> Turkish, (married couple), Wow! Imagine that, two foreigners marrying each other. So (you) don't follow the advice you give. Or is it called, do as I say, not as I do...

And, oh wait, you live in a foreign country, too, no less... Well looks like we are on a roll here, So you don't follow your own advice (again)...

And you talk down, to the aged, well, at 38 years.... You too, are approaching the age, were, your biological functions are on the wane, or have already expired....

I certainly don't have a problem with criticism, it's useful, and often times others see things that are worthy of being criticized, but there is (responsibility) associated with being critical. There is the overwhelming need to favor legitimacy, well thought out and presented, with as little ambiguity as one can muster.

Cheers,

Happy trails.

))) funny... I thought we were asked our opinions and I freely and honestly told mine...

thus, my husband never tried to put pressure on me to marry him and our age difference is 3. if you have ignorance issues, you may try to research some and see how similar cultures greece and turkey have. the quality is "foreign old men" not foreign men. in my country women do not necessarily insist on that. it happens if it happens...

himmmmm looking at the birth date, not so hard to understand why my words are offending... don't worry, age is just a number, I am sure there is a 24 year old filipina out there who will like you...

trifyllis wrote:

))) funny... I thought we were asked our opinions and I freely and honestly told mine...

thus, my husband never tried to put pressure on me to marry him and our age difference is 3. if you have ignorance issues, you may try to research some and see how similar cultures greece and turkey have. the quality is "foreign old men" not foreign men. in my country women do not necessarily insist on that. it happens if it happens...

himmmmm looking at the birth date, not so hard to understand why my words are offending... don't worry, age is just a number, I am sure there is a 24 year old filipina out there who will like you...

Hahahahahahahahaha,

Why is it always when people can not come up with an intelligent reply they start up with the personal insults....?

There is a saying:

"There are three kinds of intelligence: one kind understands things for itself, the other appreciates what others can understand, the third understands neither for itself nor through others. This first kind is excellent, the second good, and the third kind useless." 

and to be fair I'll give you a hint, you are neither first, nor second....

Cheers

Cheer

Oh, before I forget, you did NOT provide an opinion but just some grandiose melodramatic spiel about what YOU did and then launched off into denigrating the Philippine people and their culture/believes/traditions. 

Not really really supplying an opinion, but just typical Western Soapboxing, once again trying to convince others that their way of life is the only right way......

If you really don't like the culture/traditions/values/beliefs of where you are currently residing, can I ask one simple question?  Why are you still living there? The airports not that far away.

Cheers