Consecutive Years For Naturalisation? Student Years Counted?

Hi,

I'm a Brit. I'm currently working in the Baltics. I'm moving to Portugal for a student course.

1. Will my 3 x years as a student count towards my 5 years of residency?
2. I may need to go back to the UK to complete an annoying course I have a complaint against the UK university about (free speech stuff, very annoying). I would need to go back for two years. If I am resident in Portugal for three years, then go away for some years, then come back and complete two more years and stay with the intention of settling is that ok? I know the 5 years don't strictly need to be consecutive but are there any rules around this? What if someone did two years, disappeared for a decade, and then came back and did three more? Does that still count?
3. How strictly do they monitor your 183 day presence in Portugal during your 5 years? And how would they know? I'm single, I love Portugal, but I'm attracted to Nordic blond guys. So need to go to Scandinavia to find a husband at intervals (I'm not joking here!)
4. Are there any documents I need to be gathering well in advance from the day I arrive to make sure the naturalisation process goes smoothly?
5. How long is naturalisation taking at the moment? 2 years?

Thanks for any direction you could offer.