I think my friend is being scammed by a Dominican woman

When it comes to love relationships they say all is fair in love and war.. Well in the DR foreign men are considered a liquid asset. If you find someone locally attractive the biggest mistake is to show by your actions of charity and support that exhibits an “I’ve got to be with her at all cost motif”
After she can get all he is willing to give. Car, household items, perishable, clothing, healthcare by providing financial assistance whether for real or bogus requests.
Beware many times when the requests are met and then at some point he denied her requests. The moment the man begins to denied the woman’s request for charity and gifts.She will begin to find fault in him and play on his loyalty and if he is locally in DR. She may even make a scene and have him become involved in a domestic violence or abuse issue in which Police are called and he is removed from the home. Detained at the Police station m. In many cases he may have told her he wanted to leave her and she made claim to the police that he wanted to take some items from the house. That’s all she has to say and he will get locked overnight. Not even his clothes would he be allowed to remove without going to the “Fiscal” (the magistrate court). Once there all foreigners are earmarked as wrong for whatever. A Permanent Order of Protection will prevent contact with the woman and if at that moment while in court, he does not request his personal effects from the house. He will be banned for life from contact and subject to arrest and incarceration if violated in the forever future. The woman can keep most everything  that was bought into the house and the police can collect what she gives him back. ( usually some of his clothes)
It is not wise to share a home where you are not the owner or the principal Renter or named on  Nor is it wise to sponsor anyone because of your subjectivity to appear kind or charitable! When you lease a property as a single individual you are protected however staying with someone you do not have the rights to the items you bring into the house .. After one yr of alleged joint cohabitating the person who is on the lease is the principal.
if you can share this note with your friend/ family it may help him from reaching this point in his wayward relationship...

Can someone explain legal process of someone not paying rent.

Please.open another thread for that.  It's off.topic.  thanks.

suggestions for single men seeking in DR (of which I admittedly am One.

1) there is a site called TinEye.com.

Reverse Image Search
Search by image and find where that image appears online

How to use TinEye
Using TinEye, you can search by image or perform what we call a reverse image search. You can do that by uploading an image or searching by URL. You can also simply drag and drop your images to start your search.

TinEye constantly crawls the web and adds images to its index. Today, the TinEye index is over 39.3 billion images.

So it is very easy to  drag photo of the person you are contacting (ESPECIALLY the photo on their profile page if it is a singles site) and see if it is being used on other sites!
   * How many time
   * Dates used ( I have found some photos used over 10 years!
   * and the DIFFERENT NAMES used for the photo
   * and the names of the different sites it is being displayed

Also,  if you have not physically MET THE PERSON, I find a way, that is non-alarming and usually in a whimsical way to ask them to "write my name or their name or the date I will be there on their mirror, or a note they are holding, Hi Love see you on January 20th!  with the Kiss Lips..

All in a way to not alarm them that I am checking up on them and in a very light hearted way.  If you dont receive it BEWARE.

When they talk about their "child" and needing glasses for them or clothes or food or books for school..  ask them for a photo of their little one.

I have seen one of the WORST photo shops holding a "shopped" little girl!

and another time I Tineyed the photo of the daughter (in DR) and the photo was of a young girl in her classroom in MEXICO off the internet!

BEWARE

also beware if the say their cell phone is damaged (and YES it DOES happen BUT) it happens all the time on the singles sites!

LOVE I cannot communicate with you if it goes out.  What will I DO!! 

I have told them (and funny but I was IN the cellular refurbishing business for over 15 years).   "I will be there in two weeks (or whenever) and I will bring you one!  to have them reply NEED IT NOW!   EXIT and they still write and say THANK A LOT.. where is MY SAMSUNG OR APPLE.  jjjjjjjj 

there is NOTHING wrong with setting the person up to SEE what they will say or do.  You can still be a gentleman and honest person (and dont forget this happens to women that are scammed too!) and do some outside the box thinking to find out of this person is genuinely interested in you.

I am not seeking a prostitute but the profiles saying they are SEEKING:  their prince, a husband and family .. and all the RIGHT WORDS... in very short time you will find are prostitutes or scammers.

and ONE of the Scammers IS the very singles sites that KNOW this is going on and do little about stopping it.

THINK I AM JOKING... when I found out about TINEYE I would drag the photo add
report them sending all the information to the site.

WHAT DID THEY DO?  They wrote software to not allow (you) to copy the photo to be able to check them!   That shows they are only interested in NUMBERS to keep them on their site to get you to join.  If no numbers no new clients.

First welcome to the forums!

This is great info thank you!  The link will likely be approved by the admin team.

Reply Edit

OOOPS! I wasnt finished and accidentally posted.. it wouldnt allow me to edit it???

Continued”
WHAT DID THEY DO?  They wrote software to not allow (you) to copy the photo to be able to check them!   That shows they are only interested in NUMBERS to keep them on their site to get you to join.  If no numbers no new clients.

Here is what to do.  Take a PHOTO of their picture on the site.  Put it on your computer and then drag it to TINEYE. It will still work.

Look.. there are honest.. very sweet.. deserving women in DR.

I call it a culture issue...  Our cultures are different   and what is different about our cultures is also what can attract a man to a Dominican lady.

but we must come to terms with these cultural “differences” and be very aware of them.  And how they can affect the relationship and possible marriage and family.

I have a saying.  I am in DR trying to “assimilate” to their culture and NOT bring MINE to the DR to change THEM.  However, that said, there are some things about me and my cultural environment that I will not give up.  Lke trust, honesty, faithful and RESPECT to fellow man.

and there are those in DR that have tested me. Like the car dealer that sold a car with 15 day guarantee and a new windshield that was cracked that made me pay for the windshield with his crying he sold the car below cost and will also not guarantee the warranty parts he said to come in and have them done.  He will be seeing me in court (and yes I know the culture there is they (courts and judges) protect their “own”.  But I will do it to try to help others keeping it from happening to them.

but I am blonde and well over 50 and I DIGRESS.

It is a part of the DR culture when the women growing up see and hear and live with all the scams going on around them by their friends and peers. 

It “can” be an addictive way to advance their life when they see so many other women using the schemes of “cell phone broken, stolen. Damaged, wet. Lost” or sick or operation,, or child needing food.. or rent money.. or the myriad of other needs.. that are VERY  evident in the poor economic life of DR women.

it makes me sad and heartbroken for them.  But I also know, while I would love to, I cannot assist everyone with needs.

Have I sent money to someone I have not met? YES

Do I recommend it NO.

Do I regret it.   No.  because I did it from my heart and not for personal gain. 

So I feel good about it and that is what is important.

Do I do it often?  HELL NO… LOL

My point is.  There are decent people everywhere… and unfortunately a culture that depends so heavily on tourism has problems with those that set the tourists up as “marks”. 

beware of the person that approaches you on the street to assist you. You will unknowingly probably end up buying his lunch.  Jjjjj

but there are ALSO those that have assisted me driving out of their way while I followed them.. to show me where I needed to go.  And would not take a tip saying they were happy to assist!

I cannot count the times the DR people went out of their way to assist in a friendly and forthright way.

DO NOT THINK all Dominicans are out to get you… and scammers.

Something a person from Uruguay told me recently that has a business and relocated to DR.

a Dominican they were doing business with said NEVER trust a Dominican.. they ALL LIE. 

she said except for you. You are my friend.

Their reply.. “No, I AM Dominican and I lie. Do not ever trust me!

Just use good judgment.. and remember you are in THEIR country… keep your values but try not to change the DR to your ways.  Remember what made you think you loved it and wanted to move there is the beauty and the culture differences.

and men.. think with the brain in your head.. not the one in your pants.

I am still seeking in DR.

Good post!

I cannot count the times the DR people went out of their way to assist in a friendly and forthright way.

DO NOT THINK all Dominicans are out to get you… and scammers.

You wrote it.

If one behaves naively in a foreign land with a different language, expect to be exploited and especially if you have chosen the resort life or 'cloud'/at distance romances where 90+% of the women and men will be opportunists and out to trick you.

The vast majority of Dominicans are not as is being portrayed in this thread imo.

Nice place to retire....Dominicus! Lucky you! But beware of all those opportunists in such lovely resort areas too.

Lennoxnev

???? you say I wrote:?????

If one behaves naively in a foreign land with a different language, expect to be exploited and especially if you have chosen the resort life or 'cloud'/at distance romances where 90+% of the women and men will be opportunists and out to trick you.

not me????

I AGREE that some of the people I have met.. many many many or kind, sweet, loving and wear their hearts outside on their chests for ALL TO SEE.

its a shame that a few give DR a bad name for their scams.. and I will agree that the tourist towns are the ones that are better targets for the scammers.  and the tourist "locations" in the major cities.

Punta Cana , Bayahibe for the tours to Saona... are great examples.. as well as the cabbies!

I was told that the daily excursion to Saona was the only way to go. I am NOT interested in tourist cattle boats  ... moooooo ... ehhhhh ehhhhhh....  and wanted a place to stay there for a few days.

I was told a few people live there but no place to stay.. WRONG...  they dont want people to know so THEY can get their money.

and CUSTOMS!

last two flights missing items from suit cases but this lat time mine (I thought didnt make it) and
kept asking for baggage claim and finally over an hour later someone showed and asked for my claim ticket.  walked over to a piece of luggage and said sir here is your bag!

it was wrapped in the clear wrap!!??? i couldnt even tell the color much less that it was mine and didnt THINK to check it for mine.

when I went to put it in the trunk of the cab my hands went completely into the luggage on both sides.

NO LOCK ... and NO ZIPPER.. no tsta notice.. and some things gone

time before that customs walked around people to walk up to me and said for me to get my luggage and bring to the table.. hadnt even gone through the scanner yet.. I am blonde and blue eyed and well.. ya know the rest.

so he asks what is in the cases and to open them.. asks how much I have in gifts.. I said maybe 350... asked how much money I was carrying I said 2 to 2500.  he said show me.

then told me to set it in the luggage..  then said to give him 200.00US... i said are you crazy???  I have the receipts for everything in my cases in one of my bags and I will find it for you.

he kept holding out two fingers.

TIRED>. HOT.. and wanting to get out of there I peeled off two 20's and he said put them in the bag.

carefully put them in his pocket.

I called the embassy asking them what I should do because I didnt want to be marked as a "snitch" and targeted every time since i go 6-8 times a YEAR.

BUT AGAIN.. I ALSO DIDNT WANT IT TO HAPPEN TO SOMEONE ELSE.  So i would take the heat if necessary to get this guy out of a position to do it to someone else.

embassy said there was nothing they could do but asked that to PLEASE report it because they dont want it happening.  the lady then called me back next day and said she had talked with a high contact person there with customs and they wanted the info.

I have her name and contact and will send it ONLY in private if anyone asks.

They (DR and embassy) asked me to sign some releases and a photo of me and what I was wearing. I sent photo of me and my shirt and jacket i was wearing and my report. 

they said it would help them locate the incident on camera and would take care of it.

that was November and no problem in my December return.

taxi scam drivers rip off wanting 150 to Dominicus!  I said I am not a tourist how dare you ask that price.

he says "how much you want to pay?"

I said "that is not the reply"  You dont ask me!  you tell me an honest and fair price.

so I refused to use him and he stood there while I negotiated a 60 fair.

then he whines and cries about HE has a van (he called a limo) and I was taking a car.

SO WHAT!

no more though.. I bought a car this last trip!  done with the taxi scams and rental scams..

of course I am also taking the car dealer to court!  LOL... 

as I said in earlier post.  I am TRYING to assimilate to the DR customs.. but some things I CANNOT DO...
and WILL NOT allow myself to change...

I am a principally minded persona and.. Principally if I think someone is trying to screw SOMEONE ELSE or me..  I turn into Toro... and put them in my cross hairs... 

I am turning them in to the government agency for auto dealer licensing and they will be hearing from my attorney *dominican...

I KNOW I probably wont win... being a foreigner (filing for residency) against Dominican... and it will cost me money.. but he will have to pay out for an attorney too... and I will get "some" satisfaction he would have been better off taking care of his word, reputation and customer.

I deal in classic cars and parts in the states so will take the parts I need on my return and having it fully painted for 500. 

if any of this strikes a bell or you want some info I can assist feel free to ask.

regards

IAM zacharias

Ok. Let's try not.to get this thread too far off track please.

We can all agree there are good and bad people everywhere.

Let's get back to the OP's original issue.

Well considering he lives here in the states and she lives in the DR not any sex going on between the two except when he flew there to see her. She asks him for money almost weekly and not just her now it’s her “brothers” if they are really her brothers. So what sex he had with her while he was there sure put a heck of a spell on him but I’m to the point that if he wants to keep being lied to and wants to believe that she loves him and is going to come to the states to be with him then I’m going to keep letting him be the fool. I’ve made myself totally sick over this and I don’t think he will ever come to his senses. If he tells her he don’t have the money all she has to do is say something like “awe love. I love you and I want to be with you” and he folds like a dog in heat!! I’ve tried all I know to do. When he loses everything he has at least I will know that at least I gave it my best try. He has sent over $30,000 already. He let that slip up to me. Obviously, I sit here helpless and I just won’t to cry but I have got to find a way to make myself understand that I’ve done all I can.

You can lead a horse to water......

You have done what you can.  He doesn't want to see the truth.  Until he does nothing changes.

I am truly sorry you have to watch him go through this.

Thank you so much for the advice. It truly is heartbreaking but talking to you all really does help me. I really appreciate you all.

The odds are good your friend is being taken for a ride. Your friend should be using an immigration lawyer from his country. This will give him an ally as well as control over the visa process. I did this many years ago, I’m very glad I did, and found out the girl wasn’t really serious about getting the visa.
Also, your friend should know what people earn working here. For instance; nowadays a laborer working in construction mixing cement by hand and pushing wheel barrels all day are paid between 500-800 pesos a day. That’s less than $20 a day at the current exchange rate. My point is if you send money, a little goes a very long way.
I know a girl, 36 years old, who has a 80 year old American guy sending her over $100 a day. This is not helping my friend as the man thinks it does. It makes her a target from other Dominicans. Also, the truth is this money is enabling her to make bad choices thus ruining her life and health.
I’ve got a fellow yacht captain friend whom met a “nice” girl on one of his trips to the DR. He only knew her for 2 weeks. I learned he was sending her lots of money and talked to him about the possibility she might be using him. He said he knows but he’s ok with that. He hadn’t visited the DR for about 2 years when he gets the call from the girl that she’s pregnant. This blew him away because he actually thought that this girl was his and him her one and only. As I told you, intellectually he knew what he was getting into and that more likely than not he was just being used. But apparently, emotionally he thought they were a couple in a monogamous relationship.
So, I suggest you talk with your friend about all the possibilities of what may or may not be going on with his Dominican girlfriend but know that you can only do so much.
Good luck to you and your friend!

During all my Years working with Foreigners, coming to meet Dominican Woman and get till married with because they are anxiously looking for a Woman to marry , I learned that reason is mostly lost when they in Love . There are man who exactly know that they are used by this Woman and they say ; be it 1 because aside of this Woman have nobody who even cares for them . many WANT to finally GET MARRIED and do whatever it takes to do so . This has the Consequence that the Woman abuse them and the "Brothers" or cousins " (Hermano y Primo)" are Pimp (chulo) behind them beating the money out of them . That is Reality ! We have two classes of Woman taking Money out of the Man ; gold diggers (here Chapiadora) or the once pressed to prostitute by the Pimp (here Chulo) And many Man even knowing this do not even care . Thinking that the Woman do love them are the few who will never wake up . It is sad but they are so desperate to find a "WIFE" to be happy with that they do loose any String and touch to Earth . it is like it is . I have seen Guys loosing Millions in the US and also in Europe because of Woman why do they think it does not exist in the DR i can not follow........ No helppossible there only be there just in case

This reminds me a of girl I met many years ago and had a relationship with for a few months.

One day she came over and proudly announced she was pregnant and we were going to have a baby.

I reminded her that I had gotten a vasectomy many years before and she said she knew, but "With God, all things are possible".

I told her to grab her stuff and go. 

Had she not lied about cheating, I may have been able to forgive her because she really was a pleasant one to have around.

But, she just had to lie.  Another example of many I have met here over the years who have convinced me not to marry again.

So if she told the truth she could have stayed?

A woman you were sleeping with was having unprotected sex with at least one other man. 

So then you are ok with whatever disease she brings to the table? 

I am asking not judging.

The incidence of sexually transmitted.diseases here is huge! Just saying people.

40 years ago is a lifetime!

What city does she live in. I have friends that did investigative work for me. Much cheaper than a detective. And yes I was scammed.

Thanks for the offer,   investigating can be dangerous.  The original poster has assisted the friend as best is possible and the rest is not up to him.

I have been going to the DR for years and I have been what you called scammed four or five times. I always think of it as doing something nice for someone. Your friend stays at their house so they must have some money. Most of thee women that I have met I would not stay in the neighborhood never mind the house. Just tell him you hope what he is getting is worth what he is giving.

Yes it happens a lot here. 

Here is what I do:  I ask myself if this seems to good to be true? IF the answer is yes then it is!  RUN.......

Would this type of person have any interest in you where you are from?
Would YOU have any serious interest in this type of person where you are from?
Could you do all your normal activities in your country with this person by your side?

That is good advice. It took me five years but I THINK I finally found one.

Good for you!!!!

I have talked to him and talked to him. He is in denial and I really think that if I even showed him pictures of her with other guys he still wouldn’t believe she was scamming him. Apparently, she was that good that she put a spell on him. I have given up on trying to get him to see this. Quite frankly, I am disappointed in him that he could be this stupid. After a year and a half and putting yourself in debt to the point that you have to work overtime to pay for what you spent while you were there is just stupid. He won’t tell me the amount he spent there but it was more than the cash he brought and the cash he brought was supposed to be enough to last his entire trip. She lives in Santiago with her “sisters” and “brothers”. I know that he bought groceries for the entire time he was there, bought a dining room set and a washer and dryer for her while he was there. Then took them out pretty much every day and night. I know they went to a resort for one night, the mountains, beach and to a lot of night clubs. It makes me sick to sit by and watch him be used and see him be so stupid. I have to let it go because it just makes me sick to watch. I’m not sure what else I can do. Thank you all for the advice. I’m just so upset at this entire situation.

Yes honey you have to let go.  You did what you could as a friend. the rest is up to him.

I am sorry and I know how hard it is to sit and watch it happen.

Share some stories Emetz always like to hear what is being done.

What kind of stories

Let's not hijack this thread.  I think we have provided the OP with the help needed and I will have this thread closed.