getting married to a Dominican girl

Follow Tomas's advice. It is sound. Be VERY careful and VERY slow.
Bob K

I  will also welcome you and will second the comments already made.  And I will up the warning, the young girls will be all over you!  Be very very careful!   And if you are ever in Santo Domingo you can come cook for me.....LOL   

I have known my Dominican wife for 8 years now. We married 8 months after having met online. She is the most wonderful person that I could have ever wished for. She is 20+ years my junior but she is 20+ more mature than I am most of the time!

She  is now with me in Texas and we travel back to Santo Domingo 2-3 times a year.

I can truly say that not all Dominican women are there to take advantage of men from the US, Canada, or Europe. Some, maybe many, do aks for money and live off men but not all .

One suggestion or word of advice would be to get to know her family and have them get to know you as well. They will always side in your favor if they see that their daughter is not acting or behaving correctly.

Thanks

Pantalla welcome to the forum.

Congrats on your successful relationship. As you know you are one of the lucky ones.  Sounds like you did it right in taking you time and getting to know your wife and family.

Again congrats.

Bob K

Hey Pantalla!
You, me & a few friends are the very lucky ones here chum!
You know what I'm talking about, eh?
The DR does have a bad rap about gold diggers.
As Bob said, take your time with her & her family.
It's well worth the time & pleasure.
Have a great life!

Welcome to the forums. It is always great to hear the success stories!!!! I hope you continue to contribute to the forums!!!

i agree with you on that point, dominicancupid is a good starting point. i was on there 12 months and managed to make a lot of friends though did not actually meet anyone romance wise. many of these girls won't take the relationship seriously if you are living other side of the world, if you have a trip planned or are going to live there it is much easier. there is a lot of info on dateatlas.com about these websites and especially which are the better ones. like the other commenter said you have to watch which women are simply looking for immigration visas. i've also known few guys who met girl online then after quick marriage and visa stamp, the girl disappeared never to be heard of again.

Welcome to the forums Bonn!   I will encourage you to go to the new members thread and introduce yourself to us all!  We are here to help if we can.

Welcome to the forum.

You will find not only will they disappear after a shot time but most of your belongings and $$$ will also be gone

Bob K

Having real perspective on things are a short commodity nowadays. Logic and common sense seems to be on short supply.

Well said!!!

I haven't heard one good thing about Dominican women yet. Could it he because of the huge age difference I'm noticing between the foreign men and dominican women? I met a woman I like. She is 37, I'm 36. She has a British passport because her dad is from one of the British islands. When I met her she had plans on giong to Europe now were talking about marriage. A group of friends went out one night. At that time we only knew each other as friends. She was more conscious of me than my date. More understanding and more responsive. Shortly after I told her I appreciated her and a relationship started. Shes never asked for money. Not one cent. This is an act? I expect her to want to come to the states.If she wants to come as my wife and sincerely try to be together that's great. She has a 15 year old daughter that goes to a highschool for the arts.  I don't see a problem with her. Someone please say something good about these women. It can't be an entire island of gold diggers and whores.

We have never intended to give that impression. I know many awesome excellent Dominican women.

Our comments are targeted at women that are met or men that are met while the  expat is in the DR on vacation!  Rarely does anything good come from that.  When you meet your "intended" while on vacation in a tourist area then it is at your own risk.......

Sounds to me like you met a woman while going about normal life. she was your friend first.........

chittownpat welcome to the forum.  NO most Dominican women are quite nice, personable, and good people.  However there are lots of gold diggers as well and they are especially attracted to the older (probably richer) expats, looking for a way out.

I hope you have found a good one.

Bob K

We will always find more negatives than positives about everything.

People who complain cry the loudest. People who are happy enjoy what they have, no time to complain.

Forums are good for advice, depending on who you get it from. There are a lot of awesome prople in here. It should never be what you base opinions from. 

Its your life and your actions. Be responsible ffor it. Make the best decision you can at the moment and prepare for what is about to happen. That is all you can do.

Thank you for the welcome.

Haroldino..I was thinking the same thing. The people that complain cry the loudest. I have two bosses that have been married to Dominican woman for more than ten years.They met them in Punta cana though.....lol..... The women are close to their age. Both had one child. Both the men learned Spanish and helped teach their wives English and have 0 complaints. But they're not blogging. Because they're living..?

Well Chit, it is apparent you have not read many of these posts.
I have met & dated quite a few Beautiful women here. I
Finally found the perfect one 4 years ago.
I married Catalina 5 months ago.
Still perfect.
Maybe you are the whore?
Have a great DR day!

And suggesting those of us who blog have no life....really!!!!????

I'm not sure if this will offend anyone. That is not my intention.

Some things are better kept private.

All the problems we hear about are the same everywhere. There are gold diggers in every country. There are no exceptions.

We already know the answers we need if we just look at the question with perspective.

People have specifics with what they want in a person. But they forget that they need to become the person that they want. We rarely "get" what we want. We attract who we are.

I know, sometimes, bad things just happen. But in the end, we were the ones who made the decision. No one to blame but us.

People here had a lot of things to say about the DR mainly about the prostitutes.

I didnt see any.

Because I don't pay attention to it. Its not in my character to be around them or places where they are. So if you asked me, I didnt see any.

People are afraid to be hurt. We all do. But fear should not stop you. There is no personal growth without pain.

I am married to a dominican. I welcome all the joy and sorrow that comes along with it. No matter what happens, I will always take full responsibility.

On a side note, I had the pleasure of meeting Tomas Cabrera!  Awesome guy and funny as hell

Well said Harold!
When are you coming back here?

Yup I agree, well said....

(the most beautiful flowers grow on manure...or muck)

Ok

No Tomas that's not what I meant...

I will admit I made the mistake of clicking on DR1 and I was overwhelmed by the negativity. I really hope your joking around I didn't mean to reproduce that here.

No problema amigo! You are forgiven.

OK Harold!
See you then 1
Presidentes all around @ Manny's amigo!

DR1 many times is filled with very malcontent folks

Bob K

And bullies..... we dont have that or allow it.

Gabe you said it best!, I went through exactly the same thing with a Vietnamese girl who I met online and flew to Viet Nam twice in 2003 and 2004 beautiful country and girls and I had an adventure and an experience that I will never forget. I spent countless money on her,...and for what? 3 years after we married in 2007 she got her green card and left me!...Not only did she start cheating on me, she started not coming home, for what was a day, then a week, then what turned into a whole month...with my hair turning grey at 35 and my nerves shot because she wouldn't call or tell me her whereabouts I had the darkest thoughts come over me when she wouldn't call... like she was being kidnapped or ran into a serial killer or something...it was terrible...something I would not want to go through again.....well now recently, I met a Dominican Girl online a single mom with 2 kids a 7 year old son and a 14 year old daughter...who looks like trouble...and looks like she likes to do whatever she wants....anyway in the span of 2 months online I caught her lying, following tons of men on facebook, and she would fight you to the death and tell you she was not lying even if the proof was presented to her.   Nothing matters they believe their own lies!....Now I was getting ready to take a flight over there to meet her or even a ferry because I live close by in Puerto Rico, plus I'm Puerto Rican and look like a white, Italian guy, I'm from Jersey and I speak fluent Spanish and can read and write it with no problem so that was a plus for me at least...I wouldn't get suckered....but you have some corrupt people over there so I've heard and have seen some crazy videos on you tube...about "ladrones" over there or "Hoodlums" and some are cops....Puerto Rico is not too far astray while it may be less on the poor side though there are poor neighborhoods, crime, killings and drugs are a common thing too and many people don't go out at night alone.....and I love the night...I'm a night person....haven't chilled out at night in 4 years.....and it's so damn boring on this island with nothing whatsoever to do....I think it's more fun anywhere else but here......but back to Dominican girls, from experience of meeting a few so far....I've seen nothing but liars,, sluts, single mothers galore, and if you see them on facebook they are posing with sexy clothes to lure men in ...I guess they didn't learn their lesson the first time ...and sex is so good that it outweighs anything else in their lives....this is not just Dominican women, this is most of the newer generation and even the ones my age...I'm 43 years old and I have no kids,,,,,and I see I will never find a woman without kids at my age so I will just date them, nothing serious ever again...and that's it and die alone...it's better than misery and ulcers wondering if she's being faithful to you or not.....and please listen to people who have been there, like me, and others....do not do the long distance relationship crap........they will lie to make themselves look like the perfect girl to lure you in,,,,and never send them money I've been guilty of doing it myself even before meeting them personally....it's sad, I think men are more gullible to this because we find ourselves alone and looking for a companion and these bitches (not all) find a way to bait you in the most heartless way......Oh? You know what my ex Vietnamese wife did when she finally came around? She was making good money from the nail salon job I found her a while back.. she saved everything...tips and all, she started hanging out with her people (Vietnamese descent) started changing her attitude, buying expensive stuff, and not helping me with bills we agreed on, she eventually got her own apartment because we got evicted. She then said to me that I was not welcome in her new apartment (this was while we were still married)  she then filed for divorce and got a Vietnamese lawyer from Chinatown in NYC, once she picked up on her English she became good at it....and learned how to get around on her own in the United States, and started taking advice from her stupid friends...eventually we divorced yes, she then got pregnant by some Vietnamese guy she met in Jersey, and had the audacity to call me up one day out of the blue, to tell me, that she was 9 months pregnant, and asked me if I could name her baby....Oh boy! Did I have some names!.....Get The F*** Out Of Here!....The nerve ah???....I give up on serious relationships.. I am basically just going to date, have sex, and say goodbye....and not just throw myself on anything that crawls....it's ridiculous. ...our parents had the most decent women/men in their era,,,,marriages that span 50+ years and they're still together......smh...On a side note I have met some nice, classy women of all races and cultures....so I don't mean to offend any certain race or culture, just simply talking about the ones I have come across in my life.......

Wow, that was some rant.  In order to help others what did you miss? What did you not want to see? What could you have done differently?

You need to start looking for good women in different ways! There are lots of them out there!

Holy s%$t man!
Try Dominican Cupid & think with the big head for once my friend!
I have personally met 100's of good Dominican women.
I found the perfect one 5 years ago.
We got married 6 months ago.
The perfect woman.
It can be done Carlito!

@ Planner........Sorry, I apologize I didn't mean to rant. I was responding to a 2 year old post from 2012, that I stumbled upon while surfing the net. Well in order to help others I advise, not falling in love too quicky. Or to trust someone so easily, even though it's in your nature to be kind and have emotions like any other human being. Some people aren't so nice and have different intentions. Sad but true. And your question as to what I would have done different? It's exactly that not fall too quickly for someone. The other question on what I did not want to see. I did not want to see the same thing I always seem to find a girl that has children even older ones, I'm still looking to go through that experience with someone who has not gone through it yet, like me. But in reality  at 43 years old, most people have gotten off that train already. So my chances of finding that are zero. So it's ok, I can live with it by now. You say I need to start looking for women in different ways...explain that....in what other ways? I mean I don't go approaching strange women and start a conversation with them. And I haven't done anything different than any other guy. I've always been a shy guy, and fear rejection so I don't even bother most of the time. Most women I have had in my life had either approached me, or it was a casual meeting. Or someone from the neighborhood or school. In all I have probably had about 18 girlfriends in my life and out of those I'd say about 4 or 5 were serious.

Greetings Carlito.  I feel everything you talked about and that is some solid advice you have given here on the post.  I have experienced everything you have been through and some, but in my case she was Venezuelan with a child.  We dated long distance for about 3 years with me taking at least two yearly trips 1 month stints and eventually got married, brought her here to the US. Same story, she started hanging around with friends, started skipping out on school, partying, not really fully taking care of her kid and eventually moved out to go live with her supervisor who worked at  the supermarket after she received her permanent green card.  I was jaded and bummed out for a while when that happened to me, but oddly enough it was a vacation organized by my brother to DR in 2010 that put me right back in the saddle and eventually led me to meet someone there who does not have kids, comes from a humble but hard working family, and hopefully in 2015 I will spending more time there than in the US to see if this person is truly the one for me.

      One thing you said truly jumped out at me and I noticed it is a frequent themes with many relationships that go wrong, and that is when you said: I usually get approached.  I might be wrong here, but I find in many cases, women that approach a man first, usually have a hidden agenda or are working girls if you know what I mean.  Many times when women approach they are looking for the rescuer types, which is usually the shy, quiet, good guy who they can rely on, they usually don't approach the Tigres, because he can usually see through their intentions rather quickly.  Game usually recognizes game is what they say in the hood.  When you approach as a man, you are the one setting the tone and perhaps have a bit more of control in that mating dance, not to mention, women's perception of a male who approaches them as to one they have approached is very different.  There is a book on Amazon called: The Mystery Method that breaks down the whole mating dance thing to a science.  There was also a series on VH1 a while back called: The pick up artist, you can probably find the 2 seasons on project free tv.  I'm 49 AfroLatino and I have had no problems meeting women, and I'm quite happy with the woman I'm with now and she is 20 years my Junior no kids, and guess what? I approached her and even though she was not interested, I charmed my way Into her heart.  When you approach a woman many times what you might think is rejection, Is just a test to see if you have what it takes to be her man or simply quit before the game starts.  The book and the tv series will explain all that I have said.  No one likes to be rejected, believe me it has happened to me plenty of times LoL but once you realize it is not personal, you learn to deal with it and move on to the next; I have had women reject me one week and the next week have gone back to the same club and be all over me!
     
       Oddly enough women many times need to see other women value you before their interest or curiosity is peaked.  This is what happened at the club scenario.  The first and second girl I approached were not interested, and you will know when to walk away and when to stay in the game :-) then the third girl I approached did show interest, so guess what? Suddenly the two girls who originally rejected me, now begin to take a 2nd look and wonder: what did we miss? So of course next week, the scene has now been set and did not have to do much that night.

      The point here is.  Approach first because you have more control over the situation and your instincts will probably serve you well, never take rejection personal, who knows what she is going through at the moment? Look at it as: Her loss, she missed out on a great guy! And lastly, never look or reek of desperation, because good women can smell that a mile away!!!! The good ones will not touch a desperate guy, and the agendeirs will come a calling.  If shyness is a major thing for you, I suggest you work on it and build the confidence on the art of approach, It is fun, it builds confidence, and women look at you as a man who had the cojones to come over and introduce himself.  A bit of a secret here:  attraction for women is not like it is for us.  Women might initially not find you attractive, but as you start to endear yourself to her through conversation, her initial impression begins to change, for her it is more about how you make her feel than only looks.  Check out the book and the video I highly reccomend it.  You can also take Thomas advice and use Dominican Cupid, it is a good place to practice your meeting skills and get over the fear of approach, it will build your confidence and you will get to interact and see all the types of women that are out there.  Finding a good one is like fishing, you might not catch the big one on the first try!

Well said massage!
The fishing is always in season throughout this planet.
Especially here in the DR.
It's all a game until somebody falls in love or lust.
Then you find out a little more about life & women.
Me, I got real lucky!
I have a wonderful wife & 3 teenagers that adopted me.
All is good.
Keep trying Carlito!
NEVER give up!

Awesome i sense this is usuful discussion!!! 

1 secret here - you wont have much chance meeting decent women until you live here and get out of the tourist zones!  Its no different then women wanting to meet decent men,  they need to live here and get out of the tourist zones.

As a tourist and living in tourist zones you are a target.

Ugh, I don't know how I got in this conversation but here I am!
@carlito,
They are out there. I have a great heart, am close to your age and no kids.
I hope I am wrong, but dare I ask if you are wanting a kind honest woman but are looking at her physical appearance and not her heart?
Most women want commitment and a family and not to play the field.
But younger women tend to be more immature, and sadly many women are looking for a way out/way to get rich and use men.
Women be warned: I see many men use their charm on women in the same way, even crying to seem genuine.
As far as what massagewiz said, that turned my stomach.
Be yourself, be genuine, don't play these stupid games or your are like the rest, pretending to be something your not to get what you want.
If a woman ignores you because she thinks you appeared desperate for calling her or whatever, then she's a bit shallow for judging you too quickly. Same goes for a woman that needs to see other women interested in you first. That is exactly the type of woman that you should stay away from.
And while these posts seem to be promoting the dating website...I will advise you to stay away from dating sites.
Yes, everyone hears of a few great stories of love that gives hope but its rare.
There are countless stories of horror, heartbreak, and repulsion from people that just give up (I'm referring to online dating sites in general).
You said it yourself in so many words.
Much like long distance relationships with people from other countries don't work because it is easy to use and fool someone, online dating is the same in this regard.
My advice:
Whew let me calm down and get rid of the anger that bad ppl and their stories bring up.

My advice is meet someone local.
I wouldn't share the story of bad wifey at first bcs if your talking to a sweet lady that is really another user she may hear that story and take advantage of you too.
Look at the women that are plain. Maybe your eyes go to the hotties and you see they have kids or are taken or have no morals.
So put your eyes on a shy girl that isn't grabbing your attention.
Give her a chance.
If you are shy or awkward at first, she will not judge you but adore it.
The women that judge you are the ones to stay away from.
And if you still have anger from your first wife, work hard to get over that.
The last thing you need is a vicious circle of insecure people's baggage ruining a new healthy relationship.

Best wishes to all