getting married to a Dominican girl

Bob K VIP Member

7675POSTS

12 years ago

#201

If you could test her....she would fail. Don't waste your time.

Bob K

planner Dominican Republic Expert

17767POSTS

12 years ago

#202

Ok you need to listen and hear us. What test???? She showed you everything you need to see!!!!

You are NOT in love.

She is hooking you and trying to reel you in.

RUN AWAY NOW.

You will NOT meet a good "girl" working in the hotel. Do not go back to that hotel. She is not the issue YOU ARE. Stop doing this.

Go explore this country. Watch and learn. Do not leap in. You want fun, have fun. Leave it at that!

Tomas Cabrera Serial expat

606POSTS

12 years ago

#203

Well chum, go ahead, see her again, BUT, be careful. I have
gone out with ladies from resorts here a few years ago, before I met
my now wife. There ARE honest ladies her. I have met many, REALLY!
Again, be careful, assume she is out for pesos.
You want an honest woman, not a golddigger.
They are here.

One step at a time my friend!
Good luck!

nicolas 1402000 Guest

0POSTS

12 years ago

#204

Thanks for your sensible advise !!

nicolas 1402000 Guest

0POSTS

12 years ago

#205

Last night I told her off and told that its over --she said fine and then ....she started to cry and cry and cry ---I tell you she is a hell of an actress for her age cause that cry was coming out of her lungs --Maybe she was crying cause no more pesos going overseas ---but I tell what a cry she had ...

planner Dominican Republic Expert

17767POSTS

12 years ago

#206

Very typical. Get over it and move on!

Tomas Cabrera Serial expat

606POSTS

12 years ago

#207

So, you gave up even before you tried?
You are going to give her a bad impression of us Canuks!

Haydaro Active member

86POSTS

12 years ago

#208

Well.. my Zanuck ..

sorry Canuks ..Expat friend...Women who love us for our money are nice: at least we know what to do to keep them....But you never knew ...to be absolutely sure.. play you are in bankruptcy..!! it is in difficult times that we recognize really others ..

Bob K VIP Member

7675POSTS

12 years ago

#209

Good job now move on!

Bob K

Haydaro Active member

86POSTS

12 years ago

#210

hey Nicolas ..When poverty knocks on the door, love escapes through the window ... this sentence applies to 'all women on this planet unfortunate planet...

planner Dominican Republic Expert

17767POSTS

12 years ago

#211

Really???? Doesn't apply to men? Don't bring out the sexist comments!

Bob K VIP Member

7675POSTS

12 years ago

#212

Men are just as bad plus they have the advantage of having two heads to think with and many times we end up using the wrong one

Bob K

nicolas 1402000 Guest

0POSTS

12 years ago

#213

But ....she is really making a hell of an effort to stay with ....calling me and text--Think that not even a hooker would put so much effort to get money --she is constant making sure that I have her attention---I have many times tested her sometime later about somethings that were said , she is always constantly right --even some small talk she is consistent --and yes she has a big family and I did meet most of them and they greeted me --She never asked me for money or insinuating that she does -I asked her if she needed some money and she responded no and I did not ask again --right now we are just talking and nothing about any financial discussion at all --she said that she is really proud for what she does and proud of her brother and sister that work as well and they take care of their family just fine --waiting for the day that she will some how ask for financial help ( SOME HOW) THE RED FLAG IS ON --

planner Dominican Republic Expert

17767POSTS

12 years ago

#214

OK, one more time!!!! She is playing with you. IT IS ABSOLUTELY NORMAL to chase you and hound you. You are caught up in the drama and she will eventually milk it for everything she can get.

That said, there are very good people here. YOU WON"T MEET THEM AS A TOURIST. IF it seems I am heavy handed I am cause you are NOT paying attention here.

Stop this ridiculous behaviour! She is not a good girl. She is not in love with you, she doesn't even know what that is.

Now please listen to those of us who have seen it over and over and over!!! It is not true love. YOu are not her dream man, she is not your dream girl and this is not a hollywood movie!!!!!

Tomas Cabrera Serial expat

606POSTS

12 years ago

#215

Planner, did you get burned by a Dominican?
Love is where you find it.
There are a lot of GOOD Dominicans on this beautiful island!
Nick, play it out, you will know if things go south.

Tomas Cabrera Serial expat

606POSTS

12 years ago

#216

Nick, what area is your resort in?

Bob K VIP Member

7675POSTS

12 years ago

#217

Nicolas a new idea for you.....MARRY THE CHICA and then a year from now we can hear about your story and all say...."we told you so". You don't want to seem to listen to our advice so....Just marry her.

Bob K

planner Dominican Republic Expert

17767POSTS

12 years ago

#218

Tomas did you miss the part where he knew her 5 days and wanting to get married????

PARADISECAT Serial expat

652POSTS

12 years ago

#219

Nick she is not asking for any cash, because later down the line she will get all of it, it is called: setting you up for the Big Score! Sort of what Casinos do. They let you win a little to keep you interested and next thing you know, you are mortgaging your house, boat, and car. If you looking for a nice girl, meet her through friends not a resort! Trust me. It is in rare ocassions that it works out. Her age alone is a problem, she is probably not very mature and how much would you really have in common? Once the novelty wears off in the bedroom, what would you really talk about??? Continue to travel and enjoy the Island and all that it offers my friend, girls like her are a dime a dozen. Like Pink Floyd said in the Wall " Hey! Teacher! Leave Them Kids Alone" i had great mentors when I first went to Sosua in 2010 and they saved me many headaches. Please listen to the mentors here on the forum, they know what they are talking about. Best of Luck.

planner Dominican Republic Expert

17767POSTS

12 years ago

#220

Great post Massagewiz.

Again nice girls and good guys don't want to date tourists! Weekend fling, why not but that's it.

It will take a couple years of living here, generally, before they will take you seriously here. Why???? In first 2 years a high percentage of expats go back home.

Bob K VIP Member

7675POSTS

12 years ago

#221

Great post Massagewiz but he is not listening.

Bob K

Tomas Cabrera Serial expat

606POSTS

12 years ago

#222

No I did not.
This is a natural reaction for us naive Canadian men after
trying to deal with Canadian women.
As a Canadian man, I am offering my honest opinions, which
vary from lady to lady.
Thank you.
I've been coming here for 11-12 years, 3-4 full time.

nicolas 1402000 Guest

0POSTS

12 years ago

#223

Samana --Grand paradise resort

nicolas 1402000 Guest

0POSTS

12 years ago

#224

Thanks for your advise --Now lets see .....I do own a home but its not in my name I do have cash but the cash does not belong to me --I do own a car and the car is leased --yes I do have some things that belong to me( clothes furniture a lawnmower snow blower and a couple of shovels ) what do you think for a 10 dollar canuck??

Tomas Cabrera Serial expat

606POSTS

12 years ago

#225

Come back to Samana & have a 100 peso hamburger
with your honey! See what happens!
You never know until you try!
But leave your snowblower in Toronto!

frost bite Active member

40POSTS

12 years ago

#226

Nick, just be aware that even if your girlfriend isn't after you for your money now that if you want this relationship to go anywhere you will have to move here or bring here home, either way it will be very expensive and one way or another you will be helping to support her family. I think this is why everyone is telling you not to rush into anything, find out as much as you can like who is supporting the family now and remember that The Dominican Republic is very poor and has no welfare, they will look to you for everything, trust me I know

planner Dominican Republic Expert

17767POSTS

12 years ago

#227

Cool Tomas! FYI frostbite, she is not a girlfriend, they knew each other 5 days. He is a rich fish in a pool full of poverty! As such even if he has little he is rich!!! He can afford to lease a car, he has an income, hell he can afford to come here - makes him RICH. AND he has a passport.... wooo hooooo, makes him even richer!!!!

Poor fishy.

Bob K VIP Member

7675POSTS

12 years ago

#228

Gives a new meaning to the word Chum.

Bob K

nicolas 1402000 Guest

0POSTS

12 years ago

#229

Thanks ---by the way , this is the way I see it .....told you that my red flag is up ....and I have dated many girls here in Canada ( Toronto )and yes there are nice and bad ones and I had my share and taste of both ....Do you think that women girls here are any different? I am a gentleman and I always paid for dinner lunch hell even to the movies --they tell you please let me pay my share and you accept the offer its the begining of the end ----well here you must dish out at least 100 dollars for a meal not to mention some other lets go here and lets go there ---

My red flag its up and I rather spend 2000 pesos then 2000 dollars !!

nicolas 1402000 Guest

0POSTS

12 years ago

#230

Thanks for your advise ( advises ) I did meet her family and yes she has mom and dad ( divorced ) and aunt and grand parents and 1 brother and sister that they both work and help the family --she does have a lot of cousins running around like rabbits but they all are nice and they greeted me well - I had lunch there as well --and yes people there are poor but one thing is for sure that they do appreciate things in life and they are always happy ---And yes I did buy something when I went over her house but dont we do that in Canada as well?

planner Dominican Republic Expert

17767POSTS

12 years ago

#231

They are always nice! Unfortunately they also will be part of the deal - catching an expat helps EVERYONE.

Don't compare to Canada or anywhere. Until you understand how things are here and actually get to meet nice girls your chances are one in 10,000.

Go buy a lottery ticket.

nicolas 1402000 Guest

0POSTS

12 years ago

#232

Tomas what is the difference in age between you and your wife??

nicolas 1402000 Guest

0POSTS

12 years ago

#233

hello frost -what is the age difference between you too?

PARADISECAT Serial expat

652POSTS

12 years ago

#234

Hey Nick I'm going to recommend a comedy you should see. It is called un Rey en la Havana. That translates to: A King in Havana.

I will post the Amazon Link, it is available to buy or rent through streaming. The movie has English Subs and it is a story of an older gentleman from Spain who travels to the Havana Cuba to marry his young sweetheart. The movie gives you a comedic glimpse of how foreign men are viewed from a Cuban point of view, just like what planner said, A rich big fish! I highly recommend the movie, since it is a rare view of what gets said when you are not around.

My Dominican girlfriend and I met through a mutual friend and there is a 20 year age difference, dating for 3 years. I will spending Winter and Spring 2014 there to see if the relationship is worth it or not, but I have been doing my homework for the past years and this Winter is the final exam. In other words: Take it slow if you still wish to pursue this fantasy, that way if that was all it was, you can minimize the hard blow of finding out just that. We can't force you to take our advice, all we can do is share. Here is the link to the film. Netflix might also have it available. Trust me, you should see this film. http://www.amazon.com/Rey-Habana-Mar%C3 … +la+habana

frost bite Active member

40POSTS

12 years ago

#235

I am about 20 years older and in my case age wasn't a big deal

Tomas Cabrera Serial expat

606POSTS

12 years ago

#236

Catalina is 44 & I will be 71 in 3 weeks.
Unbelievable!
For almost 5 years we are getting on very well.
Catalina has her own accounting business here in Cabrera.
Every day I thank the Creator for our good fortune.
We own a house together.
Couldn't be happier.
My secret?
Catalina.

Bob K VIP Member

7675POSTS

12 years ago

#237

Tomas one of the few who has made it...congrats. AND you went about it the right way. You did not fall in love and ask here to marry you 5 days after you met on vacation. Big difference.
Again Congrats and many more blissful years here in paradise.

Bob K

planner Dominican Republic Expert

17767POSTS

12 years ago

#238

Tomas it sounds awesome!!! You have a woman who is mature (in a good way) she is also gorgeous judging by the photo. She also has a work ethic. GOOD FOR YOU!!!!

I think the issues come in when there is a massive age difference and one is young - not just younger but young. Until they are old enough to understand life on a different level it can be extremely hard. Nice to have arm candy but damn what about later on!!!!

Here is how I think - relationships are very hard on a normal basis. Add in: language issues, cultural issues, lack of education, emotional disparity, financial disparity and you have a recipe for disaster!

I will say it - sometimes it works. And sometimes we only think it is working. My generalizations i will stick to: if you met them on vacation, forget it. IF you met them in a strip club, forget it. If you met them in a hotel, forget it.

Until you have enough time here to really get to know the culture and the people it will continue to be difficult. Heck I have almost 11 years in this country and it is still tough!!!!

On that note I am single and taking applications!!!