Women and Child abuse

Playing vigilante cop is a dangerous thing here. I think maybe those claims should be substantiated before ruining the guy's life over hearsay.

I just wanted to kno what's the best legal approach on this matter as idk if we should go to the police about this issue as she is a foreigner. Also, i wouln't spend my time asking here if it is hearsay.

I doubt the police will do too much, spousal abuse is quite high here and many VN men think it's ok to hit women. If you do go to the police don't be surprised if they ask for an incentive to help.

that's what i read abt the police here so I was hoping we can get some information here as she and her daughter are with us at the moment.

Hello,

If you are not a troll and your purpose here is to help them then you better try to see this situation in a different angle than you do it now.

They have a history (romantic period+pregnancy period+child must be old enough to understand a language) let's say 4-5 years of history. And you know them for maximum few months.

I don't know why you hide your friends nationality and reveal this persons nationality?
and why you want him to lose his job and work permit. That's the father of the child you are trying to help and still the partner of your friend.

Did you ask your friend why she thinks he suddenly changed his behavior?

Your purpose must be to help them to find each other again and go back to their family life, before involving police and authorities to this, that's totally the wrong approach to resolve a family problem.

What do you want? This little girl to be fatherless or her father to be a better person.

Totally agree with finnbo.
Yeah, it's a family issue. Even police has less chance to resolve unless there is visible sign of torture in her body. It's natural for spouse to quarrel and abuse each other when they have something in mind.
If you are a good friend, why don't you take initiative to find out the reason and give a counselling to them so that they can correct themselves and live together to take care the baby?
Or do you think that the baby is not his?
There are so many solutions including divorce as the last chance if they are married legally!
To resolve an issue we MUST hear both sides!
Yes, hearsay is no evidence according to law!
Like all of us, he has the right to remain and work in Vietnam unless he go against government and its laws!
What the OP needed is a strong mind to help your 'friend' wholeheartedly. Dragging police in this issue may worse the family life. Let your friend decide what she need!

finnbo wrote:

Hello,

If you are not a troll and your purpose here is to help them then you better try to see this situation in a different angle than you do it now.

They have a history (romantic period+pregnancy period+child must be old enough to understand a language) let's say 4-5 years of history. And you know them for maximum few months.

I don't know why you hide your friends nationality and reveal this persons nationality?
and why you want him to lose his job and work permit. That's the father of the child you are trying to help and still the partner of your friend.

Did you ask your friend why she thinks he suddenly changed his behavior?

Your purpose must be to help them to find each other again and go back to their family life, before involving police and authorities to this, that's totally the wrong approach to resolve a family problem.

What do you want? This little girl to be fatherless or her father to be a better person.

look i don't need to explain the entire situation here as obviously you're not the right person to talk to so divulging all info is unecessary,we're sinply looking for help so if you guys can't then don't make a comment.

Im looking for a place or someone if there's none then you could have simply said there's none the end and we'll look for other avenues for help we just tried this place no need to get all worked up gees.

As I have to state again and again (also here in the forum), the opinion is that the man has all rights over the woman still widespread.

There are issues such as corporal punishment or rape in marriage not really taken seriously.

Since this is a male-dominated forum with many conservative ideas you can't expect much help for your problem here.

yes obviously i came to the wrong place,
instead of helping we get drilled on by angry people, this is a great platform very helpful!

also the statement abt his job is my opinion cause he got here because of us so before everybody would condem us please read the reason why we came here for help not to fight.
people thanks for nothing anyway my husband alreasy found a lawyer to help her,done the medical report and police report and yes we have to pay because apparently that's how you get police reports here great country..

maggie0401 wrote:

look i don't need to explain the entire situation here as obviously you're not the right person to talk to so divulging all info is unecessary,we're sinply looking for help so if you guys can't then don't make a comment.

Im looking for a place or someone if there's none then you could have simply said there's none the end and we'll look for other avenues for help we just tried this place no need to get all worked up gees.

Have someone who understands Vietnamese search YouTube for you. I saw my friend watching videos the other day about Vietnamese who are survivors of child abuse, and other women who are in the midst of abusive situations. There might be information there

@maggie0401 Ok let's say that we only have seen the top of an iceberg. In which case it seems like right now you don't want to look ahead. There will be consequences which only applies to this child.

Vietnam authorities wouldn't do much about this as you have already read about it and has been confirmed by @colin.

So what do you want to ask anyone about how you will be able to approach this matter legally? What kind of outcome do you try to acquire by a legal approach when you already know the results?

If there is any chance now for these persons to get back again and be a family, you destroy it as soon as you let any outsider (public authority or private person) to involve in this family issue. This man probably will never turn back afterwards.

Your friend and her child lose every thing they have built up so far and (God forbid) there is a risk that this child will grow up fatherless.

But right now you and your friend still have a chance to convince this person not to do anymore what he has done. You can talk to him explain to him etc.

I don't say any man should have that advantage, that also been the bad guy and the best solution same time but right now you are in a position to choose between bad and worse. 

And hopefully eventually this person will be a better husband and a father again since he had been that kind of person before.

If your friend is from a western country this story had been totally different but I guess that's not the case here.

@Maggie0401 i think your friend and her husband need councealing, or therapist, we don't know what the husband has been through also and maybe he is having a rough time at work also and when he arrive home, all he can hear is the child crying or shouting which could be annoying and the wife screaming or doing nothing at all, you need to know the root of it all before you jump into conclusion. if Saint Paul can turn from a Killer to a Saint why not others if they will have a proper guidance. so find a marriage councilor and not the police.

maggie0401 wrote:

yes obviously i came to the wrong place,
instead of helping we get drilled on by angry people, this is a great platform very helpful!

also the statement abt his job is my opinion cause he got here because of us so before everybody would condem us please read the reason why we came here for help not to fight.
people thanks for nothing anyway my husband alreasy found a lawyer to help her,done the medical report and police report and yes we have to pay because apparently that's how you get police reports here great country..

So I guess your big husband took care of everything already little woman.

I think she was asking you how to proceed.

Id there another forum somewhere?  I wouldn't mind joining more than one.  Please advise.

moirawalsh wrote:

Id there another forum somewhere?  I wouldn't mind joining more than one.  Please advise.

Just type in Google....expat forums in Vietnam, there are numerous ones that come up.

colinoscapee wrote:

moirawalsh wrote:

Id there another forum somewhere?  I wouldn't mind joining more than one.  Please advise.

Just type in Google....expat forums in Vietnam, there are numerous ones that come up.

Also many Facebook groups with greater diversity of membership. In FB search for groups like saigon, hcmc, expat, parents, etc.

gobot wrote:

colinoscapee wrote:

moirawalsh wrote:

Id there another forum somewhere?  I wouldn't mind joining more than one.  Please advise.

Just type in Google....expat forums in Vietnam, there are numerous ones that come up.

Also many Facebook groups with greater diversity of membership. In FB search for groups like saigon, hcmc, expat, parents, etc.

Many of those FB forums are full of trolls and abuse. At least Expat Blog controls the abuse.

maggie0401 wrote:

yes obviously i came to the wrong place,
instead of helping we get drilled on by angry people, this is a great platform very helpful!

also the statement abt his job is my opinion cause he got here because of us so before everybody would condem us please read the reason why we came here for help not to fight.
people thanks for nothing anyway my husband alreasy found a lawyer to help her,done the medical report and police report and yes we have to pay because apparently that's how you get police reports here great country..

Hello everyone,

Since the original poster has found a solution to her query, this topic will now be closed.

Thank you,

Diksha
Team Expat.com