Irritating dating scenario

videriant wrote:

AkaMaverick wrote:

Dan911 wrote:

But I really think ordinary girl is not bringing friends.

My wife told me that (some weeks before we met the first time) an older foreigner wanted date her.
She agreed to meet him in a Vietnamese restaurant (not expensive) near her room (which she shared with 3 other younger women).
She brought the 3 roommates without prior notice.
All of them then ordered plenty food. But the restaurant was not expensive and the bill was maybe 1 million Dong.
The older foreigner went quite fast and never came back.

She told me that this was a test.
If he already runs away after a first date because of such a small thing, he is certainly not suitable to give her a carefree future with marriage and children.

By the way, on the first date with me she came alone and we ate delicious food on the 23/9 weekend food market.

She tested the first foreigner and having him foot the bill for four people is such a "small" thing?   Yet she didn't do the same thing to you.  It doesn't seem consistent and there has to be other factors at play.

Did she not need to test you?  Or did she not test you?  Or did she do a different test?   Is she a loving, caring, emphatic wife (to you)?  Or are you a doormat that thinks she's loving and caring? Does it matter as long as you're happy?  =p

Not judging.  Not looking for any answers.  Just musing.  Every situation is different.   We're just throwing out thoughts and ideas that might be helpful to a reader but at the end of the day everybody is master of their domain, king of their county, lord of their manor.

Note my highlighting of key words from AkaMaverick in BOLD.

As someone who is definitely "older", I have seen this type of testing already here.

Why not?

If I ask a much younger woman for a date, what do I truly have to offer her?

I might think I'm the Ancient American Stud, but she is probably only accepting initially because she sees I am well-to-do by Vietnamese standards.

Maybe she is also interested in getting to know me better, but it's not all that strange for her to want to get an idea as to just how comfortable her life might be with me.

In addition, her friends get to check me out and give their feedback to her.

Note that AkaMaverick is younger and probably attracted his wife to him with more than just western wealth.

For the casual male reader, I personally think that the older you are, the more likely a Vietnamese woman is going to focus on your ability to support her financially, and the less likely she will be irresistibly drawn to you through cathexis.

videriant wrote:

If I have time and remember I'll come back and talk about what I think about.

We can hardly wait.

OceanBeach92107 wrote:

For the casual male reader, I personally think that the older you are, the more likely a Vietnamese woman is going to focus on your ability to support her financially, and the less likely she will be irresistibly drawn to you through cathexis.

Well said.

There are women who say that character is more important than appearance.
The financial security is also a part of it (not only in Vietnam).
I am much older than my wife, but I know she really loves me.

Everyone loves differently.
I could also love more than one woman. If I could choose between 2 women I love, I would choose the woman with a lot of money.

Canman62 wrote:

thanks, yes usually I am in warmer climates by now, but just one more month of this deep freeze and I'm on the big bird south.

Ugh, I just arrived back in the US for the holidays.  Not as cold as you but it did snow my first day back.  I'm freezing.  Not used to this.

It will be interesting when we move back next year.  My wife has never been in temps colder than 15 and her daughter hasn't seen anything below low 20s. LOL  They are in for a shock.

AkaMaverick wrote:

There are women who say that character is more important than appearance.
The financial security is also a part of it (not only in Vietnam).
I am much older than my wife, but I know she really loves me.

While my wife says often that I am handsome she has also said she wanted to marry an older man because they are safe.  Part of that safety is financial but also safe because we aren't like the younger men she met before that are always out at the bar, have a girl on the side, drinking, smoking and gambling.  She said she would never marry a Vietnamese man.

My friend brought his wife back to Canada 10 years ago, she didn't leave the house much first winter. She has settled quite well, has a good job at the local supermarket, she has only gone back to Vietnam one time.
She adapted quite well and is a great wife.

It's been several years as I have been in Asia for the winter months, but a day ice fishing this week may be in order, warming up. My friends wife loves to fish also.
Yes I agree that financial stability is very important, as anywhere, and older men are more grounded.

OceanBeach92107 wrote:

videriant wrote:

AkaMaverick wrote:

My wife told me that (some weeks before we met the first time) an older foreigner wanted date her.
She agreed to meet him in a Vietnamese restaurant (not expensive) near her room (which she shared with 3 other younger women).
She brought the 3 roommates without prior notice.
All of them then ordered plenty food. But the restaurant was not expensive and the bill was maybe 1 million Dong.
The older foreigner went quite fast and never came back.

She told me that this was a test.
If he already runs away after a first date because of such a small thing, he is certainly not suitable to give her a carefree future with marriage and children.

By the way, on the first date with me she came alone and we ate delicious food on the 23/9 weekend food market.

She tested the first foreigner and having him foot the bill for four people is such a "small" thing?   Yet she didn't do the same thing to you.  It doesn't seem consistent and there has to be other factors at play.

Did she not need to test you?  Or did she not test you?  Or did she do a different test?   Is she a loving, caring, emphatic wife (to you)?  Or are you a doormat that thinks she's loving and caring? Does it matter as long as you're happy?  =p

Not judging.  Not looking for any answers.  Just musing.  Every situation is different.   We're just throwing out thoughts and ideas that might be helpful to a reader but at the end of the day everybody is master of their domain, king of their county, lord of their manor.

Note my highlighting of key words from AkaMaverick in BOLD.

As someone who is definitely "older", I have seen this type of testing already here.

Why not?

If I ask a much younger woman for a date, what do I truly have to offer her?

I might think I'm the Ancient American Stud, but she is probably only accepting initially because she sees I am well-to-do by Vietnamese standards.

Maybe she is also interested in getting to know me better, but it's not all that strange for her to want to get an idea as to just how comfortable her life might be with me.

In addition, her friends get to check me out and give their feedback to her.

Note that AkaMaverick is younger and probably attracted his wife to him with more than just western wealth.

For the casual male reader, I personally think that the older you are, the more likely a Vietnamese woman is going to focus on your ability to support her financially, and the less likely she will be irresistibly drawn to you through cathexis.

Well said. And this happens the world over. It's certainly not only a Vietnamese thing.

Even my mother told me years ago, that If I marry a younger women, I better provide a lot of money or great sex.

SteinNebraska wrote:

AkaMaverick wrote:

There are women who say that character is more important than appearance.
The financial security is also a part of it (not only in Vietnam).

I am much older than my wife, but I know she really loves me.

While my wife says often that I am handsome she has also said she wanted to marry an older man because they are safe.  Part of that safety is financial but also safe because we aren't like the younger men she met before that are always out at the bar, have a girl on the side, drinking, smoking and gambling.  She said she would never marry a Vietnamese man.

This is also EXACTLY what my wife told me, when I asked her why she didn't want a younger husband or a Vietnamese husband.

SteinNebraska wrote:

AkaMaverick wrote:

There are women who say that character is more important than appearance.
The financial security is also a part of it (not only in Vietnam).
I am much older than my wife, but I know she really loves me.

While my wife says often that I am handsome she has also said she wanted to marry an older man because they are safe.  Part of that safety is financial but also safe because we aren't like the younger men she met before that are always out at the bar, have a girl on the side, drinking, smoking and gambling.  She said she would never marry a Vietnamese man.

That's pretty much what my wife says.

She also says that she wants to be with me again in the next life.
She is also someone who thinks that if he does something bad, he will have a bad life in the next life.

Just because of that she would never cheat me or leave me without a reason.

SteinNebraska wrote:

Canman62 wrote:

thanks, yes usually I am in warmer climates by now, but just one more month of this deep freeze and I'm on the big bird south.

Ugh, I just arrived back in the US for the holidays.  Not as cold as you but it did snow my first day back.  I'm freezing.  Not used to this.

It will be interesting when we move back next year.  My wife has never been in temps colder than 15 and her daughter hasn't seen anything below low 20s. LOL  They are in for a shock.

When my ex wife arrived in Canada at the end of 2012 she used to sing "Let it snow let it snow let it snow!" but the following years she was kind of muted about this, her enthusiasm about the snow and the cold having evaporated quickly 

AkaMaverick wrote:

That's pretty much what my wife says.

She also says that she wants to be with me again in the next life.
She is also someone who thinks that if he does something bad, he will have a bad life in the next life.

Just because of that she would never cheat me or leave me without a reason.

We have had that discussion as well.  Is it a Buddhist thing or just a karma thing?

WillyBaldy wrote:

When my ex wife arrived in Canada at the end of 2012 she used to sing "Let it snow let it snow let it snow!" but the following years she was kind of muted about this, her enthusiasm about the snow and the cold having evaporated quickly 

I have tried to convince her daughter (she really wants to see snow) that, all of that pretty snow goes hand in hand with cold.  It just doesn't compute.  She will see next year.

Last Saturday evening I was sitting with a bunch of Vietnamese guys drinking beer (heck, how original!) and one of them had his girlfriend at the table. Later on she had to leave, her motorbike wasn't far away. He did not even budge. Did not stand up, did not even look in her direction while she was going away. I don't know, I would have gone to her motorbike with her, wait until she's ready to go, say goodbye, and look at her while she's going to make sure everything is fine.

It's just a small example but I think It's also part of the reason why many Vietnamese women often prefer Westerners/foreign men and are having a hard time with Vietnamese men, these women enjoy courtesy and respect like anyone else.

SteinNebraska wrote:

WillyBaldy wrote:

When my ex wife arrived in Canada at the end of 2012 she used to sing "Let it snow let it snow let it snow!" but the following years she was kind of muted about this, her enthusiasm about the snow and the cold having evaporated quickly 

I have tried to convince her daughter (she really wants to see snow) that, all of that pretty snow goes hand in hand with cold.  It just doesn't compute.  She will see next year.

On top of that, since most people people use baseboard heaters in my city, the air is very dry inside. My ex wife's skin doesn't react very well to this and she usually looks like an alien during winters because of this. I got her a humidifier but some spots on her skin still looks like she's got the plague or something

I was planning on starting off with disclaimer but then remembered that I'm on the internet and it is the right of all net-izens to be a-holes.  I can and I will judge.

First off.  The thing that bothered me was the "test".  In my experience, a lot of people sling the word test around IRL as an excuse to be a-holes or irresponsible.   Sometimes, many times there's a reason for being an a-hole but if the only explanation someone can throw out it that it "was a test" it's unacceptable.

Now then, to Aka's story.  He did mention that the first gentleman his now-wife friend-leeched was and older gentlemen but never specifically said that was the reason that she was "testing" him.  Some people just assumed that.   And then assumed that Aka was younger.  But just now Aka admitted that he was much older than his wife.   How come Aka wasn't tested?   It's inconsistent.   The reason she tested him couldn't have been just because he was older.

This "test" for the 1st gentleman was a lose-lose test.  Either he bailed and the girl felt justified in "he couldn't handle something as small at that" or he comes back and becomes a doormat.  Saying it was a "cheap" restaurant is not an excuse because it's the principle of the matter.  So call me an a-hole if you want but I'm judging.  But to be clear.  I'm judging the story not the real-life person.   I hate it when I'm accused of being an a-hole for the wrong reason.

. . .
Extra innings :

My first comment in this thread was throwing out the possibility that women inviting friends out a date might not be inconsiderate because they might think they are giving the man a bigger audience to show off.

My second comment was saying Aka's story about his now-wife inviting her friends out on a date rubs me the wrong way.

At first read, it might seem that these two comments are hypocritical but they are not.   In both comments I'm trying ways to get more out of the stories.   Throwing out options.  Ideas.

SteinNebraska wrote:

AkaMaverick wrote:

That's pretty much what my wife says.

She also says that she wants to be with me again in the next life.
She is also someone who thinks that if he does something bad, he will have a bad life in the next life.

Just because of that she would never cheat me or leave me without a reason.

We have had that discussion as well.  Is it a Buddhist thing or just a karma thing?

I think it's a Buddhist thing.
Although it's not really Buddhist. My wife explained it to me once. But I didn't really understand it, on the one hand because her English isn't so good and on the other hand because she's not 100% interested in it (she never actually goes to the pagodas and she does a lot just because her mother insists on it).
But she is fully convinced of the rebirth and she also believes a little in what the monks say in the pagodas (forwarded by her mother).

Probably it is what Wikipedia calls "Vietnamese folk religion".

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vietnam … k_religion

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religion_in_Vietnam

As a new virgin to Vietnam, I've been following this thread trying to glean as much info as possible. I have a TON of questions about dating in VN.

I'm coming to Vietnam soon for a month to see if it's a place I could live. I'm a US merchant seaman, so I can live anywhere and not worry about getting a local job. After two marriages, I have ZERO intention of ever entering into that masochistic scenario again. However, that doesn't mean a long term relationship is off the table. At 52,  I'm just not interested in losing 60% of my net worth for a third time!

I've met a number of women in their 30's and 40's on VNC, but reading here I'm beginning to understand that marrying older men is common. What about living together and not getting married? Is that an option? I'm definitely not bringing anyone back to the US and want to make sure any gf understands.

I also see that wealth is an issue, but what is considered "wealthy"? From what I've gleaned from the web, I could live pretty comfortably on US $2k per month. Where do I land on the "wealth" scale?

As for VN women, I see a lot of talk about "tests". Aside from paying for her friends at dinner, what else can I expect? As someone else said, money isn't the issue, but rather the motivation she has for doing it. My personal reaction would be to thank them for coming to meet me, happily pay the tab, and then explain to my date in private that while I don't understand dating customs in VN, asking friends to come on your date in my country is extremely rude. The point being that we have different customs and expectations and that we need to be able to understand and compromise if there is to be any long term relationship. Is that a reasonable response to this "test"?

As a sailor and 35 year veteran of the bar girl scene in Thailand, Singapore, and Philippines, is there anything different about that in VN? I love those girls as well, but I can see that game coming at 10 miles through a 5th of tequila.

Looking forward to your responses and advice!

Cheers,

Bill

@Suppobill, you'll get many different answers but here's mine based on my knowledge (everything I say is in *general* and of course there's many exceptions):

- The smaller the town you're living in the harder it will get to be able to live with a woman without being married. Vietnamese people care about how they are perceived and people in small towns *talk* and don't mind their own business (in cities too but it's easier to "hide")
- The older the woman is the easier it will get to be able to live with her with no marriage, because kids are out of the way or not an option anymore so it's not such a big deal, maybe they'll be divorced or single mom and so on, they should be more relaxed about it. But in Saigon younger women will follow the tradition less so this your mileage may vary over there.
- With USD$2K a month you'll be "poor" in Saigon in their eyes compared to a lot of other expats but you're still doing better than most Vietnamese men. In smaller cities your $2K will go a longer way.
- The "testing" thing and "bring their friends" thing and so on is a lottery. There's no avoiding some weird stuff, just try and try.
- If you want short term, you'll only get it in Saigon (and maybe Hanoi?), and smaller cities will only work for long term. You'll find both in Saigon. Tinder tends to be short term, ONS, FWB, and VC mostly long term

I think the major challenge here in all circumstances is to really know what they're after. Some people are very good at hiding their true agenda, when they got one. The same is true for Vietnamese women, they need to know what your "true agenda" is. Many Westerners just hook with Vietnamese women for sex, and most of these women will try to smell that. Judging only on dating behaviour is not that great. You could have a woman who wants you to get her to a very expensive restaurant, but it's just because she wants to be spoiled that one time, not because she's a gold digger... and another one that pretends she only like cheap places until she got a hook on you.

PS: Marrying *here* and staying *here* won't be a danger to your net worth... just saying 

I have spent considerable time in Thailand, and I can say without doubt, that the Vietnamese woman( for the most part) are polar opposite of the Thais.
Perhaps the Christian thing in Vietnam , better education, better upbringing? I don't know.
I find so many or the vast majority of young Thai woman get pregnant, and have little choice on getting money to feed their children.
Vietnamese woman are more marriage oriented.few have children out of wedlock. Very very conservative .
A friend from Bangkok had a difficult time coming to Vietnam and realizing the Vietnamese woman were not willing to go home with him at a moments notice.
I find the Vietnamese woman to be MUCH higher class, educated, sophisticated, classy. Totally different than the trashy Thai woman.
Of course everyone's mileage may vary.
I also see that if you show no commitment, to a Vietnamese woman, just looking for a one night stand, things will not work in your favour.
I also beleive that if you treat them with respect, and be true to them, they can be a much better companion .
Just my 2 cents

"Vietnamese woman are more marriage oriented.few have children out of wedlock. Very very conservative"

Yet, VN has one of the highest abortion rates in the world. Conservative in the small towns, yes,  but not in the cities.


Abortion rates

Thanks for the replies! I actually prefer a long term relationship, but I'm definitely not bringing anyone to the US. I'm sure you guys there know as many horror stories as I do.

The $2k I mentioned was only a ballpark number for monthly living expenses. I was looking at prices in Dist 2 and found some nice places for around  $800 per month. I figured a motorbike would probably be a couple of hundred more. Am I missing anything else?

I'm guessing my entertainment expenses will be around another $2k. Restaurants most meals, 6 or 8 beers per day, and any other typical dating expenses. I'm not into the clubbing scene. Definitely interested in some formal language instruction as well.

My annual income runs around $80k net, but after this divorce I need someplace to make up the lost net worth. I was thinking that with living in VN six months out of the year, I could bank about 70% of my income. Does that sound reasonable?

Sorry for the off-topic slant here!

Bill

SteinNebraska wrote:

WillyBaldy wrote:

When my ex wife arrived in Canada at the end of 2012 she used to sing "Let it snow let it snow let it snow!" but the following years she was kind of muted about this, her enthusiasm about the snow and the cold having evaporated quickly 

I have tried to convince her daughter (she really wants to see snow) that, all of that pretty snow goes hand in hand with cold.  It just doesn't compute.  She will see next year.

Yes I have seen numerous times, opening the fridge or standing in front of the airconditioner, is much different than being in a winter wonderland.😂

colinoscapee wrote:

"Vietnamese woman are more marriage oriented.few have children out of wedlock. Very very conservative"

Yet, VN has one of the highest abortion rates in the world. Conservative in the small towns, yes,  but not in the cities.


Abortion rates

Perhaps abortion is better than having unwanted children and entering the bar scene to try to feed them.
Or adoption, but the Catholic upbringing is responsible for this.
But I totally agree with you that the big cities are much different than the smaller towns

Suppobill wrote:

Thanks for the replies! I actually prefer a long term relationship, but I'm definitely not bringing anyone to the US. I'm sure you guys there know as many horror stories as I do.

The $2k I mentioned was only a ballpark number for monthly living expenses. I was looking at prices in Dist 2 and found some nice places for around  $800 per month. I figured a motorbike would probably be a couple of hundred more. Am I missing anything else?

I'm guessing my entertainment expenses will be around another $2k. Restaurants most meals, 6 or 8 beers per day, and any other typical dating expenses. I'm not into the clubbing scene. Definitely interested in some formal language instruction as well.

My annual income runs around $80k net, but after this divorce I need someplace to make up the lost net worth. I was thinking that with living in VN six months out of the year, I could bank about 70% of my income. Does that sound reasonable?

Sorry for the off-topic slant here!

Bill

$800 a month, u could live beside Donald trump for that amount.

Canman62 wrote:

colinoscapee wrote:

"Vietnamese woman are more marriage oriented.few have children out of wedlock. Very very conservative"

Yet, VN has one of the highest abortion rates in the world. Conservative in the small towns, yes,  but not in the cities.


Abortion rates

Perhaps abortion is better than having unwanted children and entering the bar scene to try to feed them.
Or adoption, but the Catholic upbringing is responsible for this.
But I totally agree with you that the big cities are much different than the smaller towns

Thats true!

This one is a little more on topic!

I put up a profile on VC a couple of months ago with the idea of making friends with women so I would have people to visit whilst on my motorcycle trip from HCMC to Hanoi. Although I had NO intention of finding a relationship, one found me.

Of course by that time, I had made a number of friends on VNC and had been chatting on Viber about their lives, where they live, etc. Just typical friend stuff.

The relationship I formed in HCMC blossomed. She has her own business, seems to be financially set, and wants to go on the trip with me. Things seemed to be going fine, and then we had a talk about the other women I was chatting with. I explained we were just friends and nothing was going on otherwise. She said it was ok, but now it seems like there's a problem.

She will tell me when she's going to call, but then "falls asleep". She tells me what time to call her, but then doesn't answer. I know she's busy with her business, so I've been understanding. "Ok, we'll talk tomorrow!". Today I called and she said she was finishing up some work (11:30pm) and was hungry and wanted to eat. She told me to call back in 30 minutes, but when I did, she accepted the call, then hung up immediately and texted that she was in bed and "we'll talk tomorrow". This screams "I'm busy with someone else right now".

I would never accept behavior this from any woman in the US, but I wonder if this is one of those "tests" I keep reading about.  Is this a tactic to make me feel jealous? Maybe to see if I profess my undying love, or just pack up my tent and move along? I would expect something like this from a younger woman, but this one is 41, educated, and financially independent.

I'm interested in pursuing this relationship to see where it may lead, so I don't want to screw it up because I didn't understand the dating "game".

Any advice?

Cheers,

Bill

Suppobill wrote:

This one is a little more on topic!

I put up a profile on VC a couple of months ago with the idea of making friends with women so I would have people to visit whilst on my motorcycle trip from HCMC to Hanoi. Although I had NO intention of finding a relationship, one found me.

Of course by that time, I had made a number of friends on VNC and had been chatting on Viber about their lives, where they live, etc. Just typical friend stuff.

The relationship I formed in HCMC blossomed. She has her own business, seems to be financially set, and wants to go on the trip with me. Things seemed to be going fine, and then we had a talk about the other women I was chatting with. I explained we were just friends and nothing was going on otherwise. She said it was ok, but now it seems like there's a problem.

She will tell me when she's going to call, but then "falls asleep". She tells me what time to call her, but then doesn't answer. I know she's busy with her business, so I've been understanding. "Ok, we'll talk tomorrow!". Today I called and she said she was finishing up some work (11:30pm) and was hungry and wanted to eat. She told me to call back in 30 minutes, but when I did, she accepted the call, then hung up immediately and texted that she was in bed and "we'll talk tomorrow". This screams "I'm busy with someone else right now".

I would never accept behavior this from any woman in the US, but I wonder if this is one of those "tests" I keep reading about.  Is this a tactic to make me feel jealous? Maybe to see if I profess my undying love, or just pack up my tent and move along? I would expect something like this from a younger woman, but this one is 41, educated, and financially independent.

I'm interested in pursuing this relationship to see where it may lead, so I don't want to screw it up because I didn't understand the dating "game".

Any advice?

Cheers,

Bill

She is no longer interested and has switched to the next admirer.

Exactly, this is not a drill. I repeat, this is not a drill!

Suppobill wrote:

This one is a little more on topic!

I put up a profile on VC a couple of months ago with the idea of making friends with women so I would have people to visit whilst on my motorcycle trip from HCMC to Hanoi. Although I had NO intention of finding a relationship, one found me.

Of course by that time, I had made a number of friends on VNC and had been chatting on Viber about their lives, where they live, etc. Just typical friend stuff.

The relationship I formed in HCMC blossomed. She has her own business, seems to be financially set, and wants to go on the trip with me. Things seemed to be going fine, and then we had a talk about the other women I was chatting with. I explained we were just friends and nothing was going on otherwise. She said it was ok, but now it seems like there's a problem.

She will tell me when she's going to call, but then "falls asleep". She tells me what time to call her, but then doesn't answer. I know she's busy with her business, so I've been understanding. "Ok, we'll talk tomorrow!". Today I called and she said she was finishing up some work (11:30pm) and was hungry and wanted to eat. She told me to call back in 30 minutes, but when I did, she accepted the call, then hung up immediately and texted that she was in bed and "we'll talk tomorrow". This screams "I'm busy with someone else right now".

I would never accept behavior this from any woman in the US, but I wonder if this is one of those "tests" I keep reading about.  Is this a tactic to make me feel jealous? Maybe to see if I profess my undying love, or just pack up my tent and move along? I would expect something like this from a younger woman, but this one is 41, educated, and financially independent.

I'm interested in pursuing this relationship to see where it may lead, so I don't want to screw it up because I didn't understand the dating "game".

Any advice?

Cheers,

Bill

Here is a tip....don't tell the woman you are wanting to date about your other female friends. VN women are very jealous, they can't understand how you can be friends with the opposite sex, especially if the other woman is single.

Dear Willy,
It’s a frustrating situation until you say no. Here is common to share the bill, don’t feel uncomfortable, say it at the beginning, actually most of the girls and women are glad to work and be able to pay by themselves. She calling her friends to join you is obviously a very clear signal that the girl you dated is the wrong girl.

JoseLülle wrote:

Dear Willy,
It’s a frustrating situation until you say no. Here is common to share the bill, don’t feel uncomfortable, say it at the beginning, actually most of the girls and women are glad to work and be able to pay by themselves. She calling her friends to join you is obviously a very clear signal that the girl you dated is the wrong girl.

I'm pretty sure that it's not "common to share the bill" for a first date with 80% of women here.

I have had very good experiences with women here in Vn regarding paying the bill. it seems like you like to pay the bill, so don't complain.

JoseLülle wrote:

I have had very good experiences with women here in Vn regarding paying the bill. it seems like you like to pay the bill, so don't complain.

When did I complain? Also, in what cities did you date women mostly?

There are women all around the world who like money and are looking for a man who “supports” them, here in Vn too. The country is still poor and some women might look at westerners as an opportunity, I don’t like that kind women, I date women who want to share their time and share the bill, and there are enough in my opinion. Is up to you which kind of women you want to date. I have dated women In Hcmc. And of course they are not perfect, but I haven’t had bad experiences regarding this topic just because I choose carefully.

JoseLülle wrote:

There are women all around the world who like money and are looking for a man who “supports” them, here in Vn too. The country is still poor and some women might look at westerners as an opportunity, I don’t like that kind women, I date women who want to share their time and share the bill, and there are enough in my opinion. Is up to you which kind of women you want to date. I have dated women In Hcmc. And of course they are not perfect, but I haven’t had bad experiences regarding this topic just because I choose carefully.

Yes your knowledge of Vietnamese women is limited to Saigon (and online dating I presume), that's what I suspected. There's a whole world out there my friend, I can tell you things are very different outside big cities.

JoseLülle wrote:

There are women all around the world who like money and are looking for a man who “supports” them, here in Vn too. The country is still poor and some women might look at westerners as an opportunity, I don’t like that kind women, I date women who want to share their time and share the bill, and there are enough in my opinion. Is up to you which kind of women you want to date. I have dated women In Hcmc. And of course they are not perfect, but I haven’t had bad experiences regarding this topic just because I choose carefully.

There are also a good number of sad men with little clue but a lot of desire for a wife cum slave.
Given the poverty in much of Asia, I find it hard to blame the women alone, rather seeing this as two sides out to exploit, one for cash, the other for a sex slave that cooks and does the laundry.
At least women hoping look after their families by swapping morals for cash have noble reason.

I agree with you is very sad to see some men take advantage of poverty. I have dated women with a career, never had issues related with money, of course I had a couple of unpleasant dates two years ago but I know now which girls I want to date.

Yes I have heard women from the countryside and their families expect from the boyfriend to support them financially but I have never dated any girl from the countryside. I know it’s impossible to change their mindset, I respect them but I can’t date them, For me is a matter of education.