Single mom considering moving to Vietnam

Hi everyone, I am a single mom considering moving to Vietnam, but I feel a bit nervous about going alone. Are there any other single moms here who have experience living in Vietnam? I would love to hear about your experiences and any advice you might have. Thank you! - @Dimitra Politi

Hello Dimitra,

I wish you sincere good luck making your idea a reality.

I'm obviously not a single mother, but in almost 7 years living here, I've experienced and observed enough to feel genuine concern about your idea.

There are a few questions I'd like to ask, but since you didn't ask for feedback from men, I'll keep them to myself unless you indicate you might be interested in what I have to say.

Best of luck with your future plans,

O.B.

Thank you for your kind words and for taking the time to reach out. I'm open to hearing different perspectives, so feel free to share any insights you think might be helpful.

Thank you for your kind words and for taking the time to reach out. I'm open to hearing different perspectives, so feel free to share any insights you think might be helpful. - @Dimitra Politi

I'm glad you weren't offended by me commenting 🙏

I really don't want to assume that I know your situation so if anything I'm sharing is off base, please let us know.

I simply wonder how deeply you have investigated the requirements of living long-term in Vietnam?

Are you aware that unless you have a legal work permit or you are an investor, you are going to be limited to 90-day tourist visas and both of you will need to leave the country every 90 days in order to reenter on your next new Visa?

Have you seriously looked into employment opportunities here? You can only be hired to legally work in Vietnam if you are an expert in a field within which Vietnamese citizens are currently unable to fill employment needs. Being a qualified English teacher is one of those current needs of Vietnam.

This country is overflowing with single mothers who will do probably all of the work you might have imagined you'd be able to do here, and they do it legally while you would be violating the law if you worked in many general labor positions.

Even if you are legally working remotely here and not generating income in Vietnam, you would still need to leave the country every 90 days, which is a double expense of the Visa fee and the travel costs.

Your child would not be eligible for placement in a public school here, so you would either be placing her in an expensive private school or somehow managing to homeschool her.

Vietnamese people can be very helpful, but the language barrier here can make it quite difficult for anyone who doesn't have a Vietnamese speaking person in their household. Before I was married I had a housekeeper/cook come in for 3 hours a day, 6 days a week, and my life was so much easier when she was able to assist with myriad issues that are bound to crop up in anyone's life when they are living here as a foreigner.

Before I met my wife (who was a 39-year-old single mother of teen twins) her life was pretty ghastly compared to the decent life that the four of us are able to live now on my retirement benefits.

I just feel alarmed picturing you arriving and not fully understanding the situation here, and finding yourself needing to compete with other single mothers for a meager livelihood.

I will be thrilled to see your reply telling me that I'm assuming way too much and that you've got all of this covered 🙏

Cheers!

O.B.

I appreciate your insights, but I will be coming to Vietnam as a qualified English teacher, which, as you mentioned, is a field in demand. From what I have researched, English teachers in Vietnam can earn a decent salary, certainly enough to support themselves and their child. So, I’m curious—what makes you think I would be competing for a 'meager livelihood!?

@Dimitra Politi,

Regarding the "meager livelihood" comment, I think @OceanBeach92107 was only going on the information he had.

And, as a person who worked in Vietnam *as a teacher,* though not an English teacher, I would advise caution on the move. There are many lousy jobs as a teacher of English as a foreign language in Vietnam; friends of mine are doing those jobs. They work evenings and weekends only, classes cancelled at the last moment, payment only for classes actually taught, thus those last-minute cancellations impact one's income as they are not on salary, two or more weeks on vacation at Tet and no income during that time. Lousy. The upside? They get to live in Vietnam, a country with an exciting, eager, forward-looking vibe.

I worked in the "international school" environment, hired at a "job fair," a convention-like affair where school administrators in search of teachers meet teachers seeking jobs. The level of documentation, notarization, apostille, etc. was mind-bending, many more hoops to jump through than for the jobs I had already worked in India and China. For instance, I had to provide apostilled copies of my university degrees. My employer was very diligent, though, and I could come and go from Vietnam with my TRC (Temporary Residence Card), shown at airport or land crossing without a hitch.

So the better jobs are salaried, the employer will help you navigate the health, police/criminal record, university and qualifications requirements, certifications, and verifications, of which there are many!

I guess what I'm trying to say is, there are lots of factors. Keep your eyes open, try to connect with people that are already here and working as teachers of English as a foreign language and get a sense of the range of the jobs on offer, not just full-time/part-time. Where you work and live is a huge consideration.  A small town in the hinterlands will not offer much in the way of education for your daughter, for instance.

And as OceanBeach has stated, your daughter's education is a big challenge, too, as top-shelf schools have huge tuition fees, almost as much as similar schools in North America in the $20,000 - $30,000 per year range. Now, if you're working at such a school, your daughter will be given free or reduced tuition. That can be a really good deal. Those jobs are hard to land and usually had at these "job fairs."

And good luck!

...I’m curious—what makes you think I would be competing for a 'meager livelihood!? - @Dimitra Politi

As I said, you didn't provide any information about your plans, other than being a single mother in Vietnam.

So, if you had been planning to come here and stay, without any plans for legal employment, any illegal employment you might have found would have indeed only provided a meager livelihood, at best...

As Lennerd pointed out there are some bad apples in the field of education here and they will definitely take advantage of the fact you are a foreigner in a foreign country with few legal resources.

There is a high demand for English teachers and you should do okay as long as you are diligent in your research. I would only consider job offers from well established schools that come with high recommendations from other foreign teachers. These schools will give you vacation pay during holidays such as TET. Search on Facebook and other social media platforms. One school I personally feel safe in recommending is VUS. One I would stay away from at all cost is APAX. Good luck to you and your family.

I don't think it's a good idea to share any information based on her post, as she didn’t provide clear details about her trip. While she did mention that she’s a single mom, she didn’t say anything about moving to Vietnam with her child. Someone even mentioned her daughter—I have no idea how they got that information.

It feels like a joke to me when someone seeks out different perspectives without first sharing their own.

You should have legal certificate for teaching your major subject, that will helps you to get reputed shcool to teach. otherwise everything will be a mess. take seriously.

All the best

I appreciate your insights, but I will be coming to Vietnam as a qualified English teacher, which, as you mentioned, is a field in demand.

It would do you well to have all documents secured/notarised prior to your arrival.

This post might be of interest to you...

New Foreign English Teachers Requirements Decision 4159/QD-BGDDT

(notice post #8 in that thread, regarding the mandatory training, and the costs for that training for some candidates)

From what I have researched, English teachers in Vietnam can earn a decent salary, certainly enough to support themselves and their child. So, I’m curious—what makes you think I would be competing for a 'meager livelihood!? - @Dimitra Politi

A "good" salary for an ESL teacher in VN would be $2,500 US (full time)

Should your child be of school-age, reports from members are that tuition for private schools for the children of foreigners ranges anywhere from $1,500 to $3,500 US/month.

@Dimitra Politi

Hello Dimitra Politi.

How old your child? If your child is under 6 years old, he/she can study at Vietnamese public school with the cost 200-300usd/semester. International school is not the only option for foreigner.

Have you heard about Rufino Aybar? He is a Spanish who has lived in Vietnam since he was 4 years old. His father was a single father who moved to Vietnam in 2003 with his son and daughter. Rufino Aybar and his sister studied at Vietnamese public school. Rufino Aybar speakes Vietnamese as a native. He graduated Diplomatic Academy of Vietnam in 2021 – International Law Department’s valedictorian.

You can search Rufino Aybar’s channel on Youtube, Tiktok, Facebook, watch his family life in Vietnam to get motivation for yourself.

Live like a local, don’t live like a foreigner in Vietnam. In Vietnam, a female gym-goer can get 3 nourishing meals a day with 5 usd.

Hope you will have a happy new beginning.

Hello Dimitra Politi.How old your child? If your child is under 6 years old, he/she can study at Vietnamese public school with the cost 200-300usd/semester. International school is not the only option for foreigner.

I was assuming that our new member Dimitra Politi 's child would not be able to prove proficiency in the Vietnamese language. Not fluency, simply proficiency. Passing a VN proficiency test  is a prerequisite to enrolment in public schools for the children of foreigners (Link, Vietnam Law & Legal Forum).

Have you heard about Rufino Aybar? He is a Spanish who has lived in Vietnam since he was 4 years old. His father was a single father who moved to Vietnam in 2003 with his son and daughter. Rufino Aybar and his sister studied at Vietnamese public school. Rufino Aybar speakes Vietnamese as a native. He graduated Diplomatic Academy of Vietnam in 2021 – International Law Department’s valedictorian.

Having lived here from the age of four, I would assume the person of whom you speak was able to pass the mandatory VN proficiency test.

Live like a local, don’t live like a foreigner in Vietnam. In Vietnam, a female gym-goer can get 3 nourishing meals a day with 5 usd.

At $5 US a day? Everyday?! That's ~125K VND. You could eat "street food" three times a day, every day for that price but I certainly would not consider it to be adequately "nourishing" (nor healthy).

I've been here almost 8 years, and I can assure you that I live very much like a local, with a local, and associate almost exclusively with locals. $5 US a day would be rough.

Hope you will have a happy new beginning. - @jasminejo0312

And I wish member Dimitra Politi  the same.

I see in the comments that you're trying to discourage me, to disappoint me. I wonder if you're at peace with yourselves—have you considered seeing a professional psychologist? I notice a lot of psychological issues... 😤

I see in the comments that you're trying to discourage me, to disappoint me. I wonder if you're at peace with yourselves—have you considered seeing a professional psychologist? I notice a lot of psychological issues... 😤 - @Dimitra Politi

Who are you replying to?

Please use the "reply" or the "quote" function.

Hello Dimitra Politi.How old your child? If your child is under 6 years old, he/she can study at Vietnamese public school with the cost 200-300usd/semester. International school is not the only option for foreigner.
I was assuming that our new member Dimitra Politi 's child would not be able to prove proficiency in the Vietnamese language. Not fluency, simply proficiency. Passing a VN proficiency test is a prerequisite to enrolment in public schools for the children of foreigners (Link, Vietnam Law & Legal Forum).
Have you heard about Rufino Aybar? He is a Spanish who has lived in Vietnam since he was 4 years old. His father was a single father who moved to Vietnam in 2003 with his son and daughter. Rufino Aybar and his sister studied at Vietnamese public school. Rufino Aybar speakes Vietnamese as a native. He graduated Diplomatic Academy of Vietnam in 2021 – International Law Department’s valedictorian.
Having lived here from the age of four, I would assume the person of whom you speak was able to pass the mandatory VN proficiency test.
Live like a local, don’t live like a foreigner in Vietnam. In Vietnam, a female gym-goer can get 3 nourishing meals a day with 5 usd.
At $5 US a day? Everyday?! That's ~125K VND. You could eat "street food" three times a day, every day for that price but I certainly would not consider it to be adequately "nourishing" (nor healthy).
I've been here almost 8 years, and I can assure you that I live very much like a local, with a local, and associate almost exclusively with locals. $5 US a day would be rough.
Hope you will have a happy new beginning.  - @jasminejo0312
And I wish member Dimitra Politi the same. - @Aidan in HCMC

That's why my first question was "how old". The kids can learn a new language better and quicker than adults. Before going to primary school, they can learn Vietnamese at kindergarten while playing with their classmates and teachers, or with Vietnamese neighbors kids.

Gym-goers don't eat street food. We cook at home.

A typical menu for a day:

*Breakfast:

150g pork/ 100g chicken leg

200g vegetable

2 slides rye bread

1 egg

*Lunch:

150g beef/150g salmon

150g rice

200g vegetable

*Dinner:

130g shrimp/squid

300g vegetable

1 egg

20g granola

=>Actually, it's 4$, not 5$

I see in the comments that you're trying to discourage me, to disappoint me. I wonder if you're at peace with yourselves—have you considered seeing a professional psychologist? I notice a lot of psychological issues... 😤 - @Dimitra Politi

OMFG!

Of COURSE we are trying to discourage you, largely because for years we have watched people without concrete plans crash and burn on arrival in this country AND because you really haven't said anything that convinces us that you are the exception; someone who really does have a well thought out plan and knows all of the requirements of becoming a legal teacher here AND also the horror stories of the people who travel across oceans to come here and work only to find out that they were scammed or grossly misled as to the opportunities here and the locations where the opportunities still exist.

After that last response, I couldn't careless what happens to you, but if you come here and make life hell for that child, I would certainly condemn you for that.

if you've really got a solid plan and you really are educated as to all of the ins and outs here and the possible pitfalls, then us discouraging you shouldn't be a problem at all. That's when you speak up and give us reason to not discourage you.

most of us who post here regularly are actually here to help people, but the reality of life in Vietnam is that too often our help needs to be discouragement when there isn't a sure sense that someone really knows what they're getting into here.

That's why my first question was "how old". The kids can learn a new language better and quicker than adults. Before going to primary school, they can learn Vietnamese at kindergarten while playing with their classmates and teachers, or with Vietnamese neighbors kids.

Yes, you did ask for the age of the child, followed immediately by, "If your child is under 6 years old, he/she can study at Vietnamese public school with the cost 200-300usd/semester." What was not mentioned was the required Vietnamese language training course for the child, as well as the parent of the child holding a valid TRC.

I called a friend here who is a local teacher (K-grd5), and heard back from him this morning. Over the past 8 years, he tells me he has had 4 foreign students enrolled in kindergarten classes. All four of the students were required to complete the mandatory "pre-enrollment Vietnamese training course" (Link), with two of the students having to repeat the course prior to their eventually being accepted for enrolment. He also stated that kindergarten classes across VN are overcrowded, and so are not able to accommodate students who do not understand Vietnamese.

His report to me should be considered anecdotal.

I encourage any member with an interest in this matter to conduct their own research through official gov't channels.

Gym-goers don't eat street food. We cook at home.

Agreed. We cook at home, almost exclusively.

A typical menu for a day:

(for "a female gym-goer")

*Breakfast:
150g pork/ 100g chicken leg
200g vegetable
2 slides rye bread
1 egg
*Lunch:
150g beef/150g salmon
150g rice
200g vegetable
*Dinner:
130g shrimp/squid
300g vegetable
1 egg
20g granola

=>Actually, it's 4$, not 5$
- @jasminejo0312

I missed the "female gym-goer" notation in your first comment. Apologies.

I salute your conviction to maintaining such an economical (restrictive?) diet regimen. Bravo.