Any body been given a woman? I have one now! Would welcome thoughts

243POSTS

13 years ago

Even though Chroeb would really want a baby, I can't see raising one at my age (67). I don't have the patience or the energy any more. The likelyhood that Chroeb would be left to care for a young one on her own is all too realistic, given my health history! She will have to be happy being the neighborhood "Auntie"!

dosolto ViP

1106POSTS

13 years ago

#162

I understand now.
I told you it was a STUPID idea.
:-)

madmax888 Serial expat

243POSTS

13 years ago

#163

After a few private message between the moderator and me, I was not able to convince her to re-insert those few postings. They are best disregarded anyway, being insulting and ignorant. I refuse to get upset at it, as it is contrary to my purpose here in Cambodia to live as stress-free as possible.
I have spent the past few weeks making several custom knives, 2 of which I have sold! I am also workng with a new ex-pat from Egypt in building a web-site, which is somewhat frustrating, but as I get used to the tools, I am sure it will all come together. We are in the process of putting together all the documents we need for Chroeb's interview with the US Embassy for her tourist visa. I have spoken to several othe ex-pats, and they seem to feel that tourist visas for both Cambodian and Thai visitors are not difficult, as the embassy feels that they are most likely to return to their homeland, than those from less peaceful countries. Still, a preponderance of evidence can't hurt.

mal ViP

1508POSTS

12 years ago

#164

That's a very beautiful love-story!
Wish you didn't stop writing and sharing!
All the best!

madmax888 Serial expat

243POSTS

12 years ago

#165

Right now, we are in the process - getting ready to make the long drive up to Phnom Penh, to see the US Embassy. Chroeb has an appointment Thursay morning for a tourist visa interview. I've spent hours putting together documents,, hers, mine, bank, etc. I hope I've got it all right. She goes in alone, with an embassy provided interpreter to help. I get differing opinions on the ease or non-ease of getting the B-2 visa. I think weve got all our "Ducks" in order, got $5k in the bank in her name, got lists of all her brothers, sisters, nieces, father, grand-parents, My I-134 (sponsor) forms filled out.
We will see! We are hopeful. I do so want to show her a bit of America, and to introduce her to my son and daughter.
More news next weekend, after we have returned.

mal ViP

1508POSTS

12 years ago

#166

You love her a lot:) She is a lucky lady to have you!

Some says marriage registration is just a legal paper:)
When some couples live happily without paper other couples live without happiness but with a paper.

But I understand,in your case, this paper is a must!

I wish you success!

madmax888 Serial expat

243POSTS

12 years ago

#167

The paper is just that - paper. In my mind, we are already married. Doing the ceremony in the US or in Hong Kong will just formalize it. I will do it for her!
Anyway, I still want to show her the US! Khmer people have some strange ideas of what life is like there. A dose of reality will show her the best parts, and some of the other sides as well. I will report back next Saturday, after we return from Phnom Penh.

ancientpathos Serial expat

729POSTS

12 years ago

#168

Great blog, best of luck to you both. I came to Vietnam last October for 3 weeks to think about life as my marriage was ending, I decided to stay. I have visited cambodia, lao, thailand and vietnam.

mal ViP

1508POSTS

12 years ago

#169

ancientpathos wrote:
Great blog, best of luck to you both. I came to Vietnam last October for 3 weeks to think about life as my marriage was ending, I decided to stay. I have visited cambodia, lao, thailand and vietnam.

Oh, you decided to stay in Vietnam for the same reason as Madmax's?
Another expat-love-story?

ancientpathos Serial expat

729POSTS

12 years ago

#170

mal wrote:
ancientpathos wrote:
Great blog, best of luck to you both. I came to Vietnam last October for 3 weeks to think about life as my marriage was ending, I decided to stay. I have visited cambodia, lao, thailand and vietnam.

Oh, you decided to stay in Vietnam for the same reason as Madmax's?
Another expat-love-story?

I fell in love with the region, the adventure of starting over, friendly people plus there were economic issues. The realization that here I was rich and in the USA i would be poor.

Meizel Nuera New member

6POSTS

12 years ago

#171

Hello,I think not all of the Filipino girls in the new generation have erased the word "conservativeness". And glad you mentioned that Filipinos were friendly I agree with you about that.

madmax888 Serial expat

243POSTS

12 years ago

#172

Things did not go well for Chroeb at the Embassy. Her visa request was denied, in spite of all the documentation I provided, a $5,000 bank account, my sponsorship, etc. They cited "an insufficient amount of evidence showing a strong reason to return to Cambodia."! Anyway, we may go to Hong Kong or Malaysia and get married, and I think we will buy some land and build a house. Property in her name will do the trick from what I hear.
Thanks to all of you for your best wishes!

mal ViP

1508POSTS

12 years ago

#173

Wish you good luck!

alexislefevre New member

4POSTS

12 years ago

#174

I cannot fathom why US consulates can not perform marriages in foreign countries.... I'm wondering, is it only the French who do that ?

madmax888 Serial expat

243POSTS

12 years ago

#175

Alexis, the embassy CAN perform marriages, providing that both parties (Chroeb and myself) meet the requirements of the country that they are in. Cambodia passed a law a few years ago, prohibiting ANY foreigner OVER the age of 50 years old from marrying a Cambodian. I am told it was in response to a number of Korean men who married young (16) girls, brought them to Korea or China, and sold them into the sex-slave market. I don't know if there are exceptions to this law. I don't really even know where to ask! That's why we have been trying to get married in so many different places in Asia!.

wanderingsalsero Contributor

167POSTS

12 years ago

#176

All Filipino women are NOT like that. In fact, based on my experience of living in Pasay City (Manila) for 2.5 years now, I'd say that MOST of them are not like that...i.e. pretty/long black hair and the rest of that BS.

I find them to be remarkably emotionally immature. Just look at the dating sites and the high % of single women with kids. And also notice all the ones who say, "No games!", "want to serve my man the rest of his life" and similar hogwash.

Getting back to Cambodia, I've never been there but I was in Vietnam for 4 years 68-72. My opinion is that the really educated girls don't need to fraternize with a foreigner. The really poor girls will do fine until they're confronted with western culture...at which time it gradually corrupts them. Especially if they hang out with girlfriends shacked up with other foreigners.

Also, you can take it or leave it, but you WILL sooner or later experience communication crisis (sp?) because you both don't have the same spiritual foundation. That's more important than you think. We foreigners find it easy to 'adopt' pretty, naive, cheap, foreign women much like it's easy to take a cute little kitten home. But then when they start shitting everywhere and getting into everything and howling all night and spraying everything in site (perfectly normal for a cat)...then it's not such a idyllic situation anymore.

Personally, I think you're already almost in 'over your head'. You better be careful. Women are the same everywhere.

Art

buildagreg Member

16POSTS

12 years ago

#177

Hello
Yes you can get a wedding paper but you can't have a big wedding party as the rule. However a friend had a celebration 30 tables in the country village. The comments mentioned can be true but not in every circumstance. A word of caution is time spent will reveal and money kept close to your chest is wise.enjoy your khmer friend and study her ways . Good luck.

madmax888 Serial expat

243POSTS

12 years ago

#178

Yes, I know we can get a wedding paper, but the local officials will not register the marriage because of my age. It is, however, our second choice, if Hong Kong falls through. We would have a Buddhist ceremony, and it would be recognized as such, but not entered into the province books.
As Chroeb and I have been together now for nearly 3 years, our "spiritual" foundation is much close than you think, Wanderingsalsero. I have studied Buddhism for some time now, and agree with most of it's concepts. It is a far more peaceful philosophy than any western religion. Women are NOT the same anywhere, and your comments are extremely naïve. Stay there in Whore city and leave the peace in Cambodia to those who love it here.

mal ViP

1508POSTS

12 years ago

#179

wanderingsalsero wrote:
Also, you can take it or leave it, but you WILL sooner or later experience communication crisis (sp?) because you both don't have the same spiritual foundation. That's more important than you think. We foreigners find it easy to 'adopt' pretty, naive, cheap, foreign women much like it's easy to take a cute little kitten home. But then when they start shitting everywhere and getting into everything and howling all night and spraying everything in site (perfectly normal for a cat)...then it's not such a idyllic situation anymore.

Personally, I think you're already almost in 'over your head'. You better be careful. Women are the same everywhere.
Art

What did you mean by this? Dont you understand there is a strong love affair between Chroeb & Max? Do you know their story from the beginning? Chroeb is a decent girl. Not like the ones you met in dating sites. They are now living together for 3 years and you didn't go there to give them language translation.

How do you say that women are the same in everywhere? You think all the women everywhere are prostitutes? After searching women in dating sites you have come to this conclusion. This is a cheap idea of you to insult all the women in the world including your Mom and Sis. You better keep your personal ideas inside you not to disgrace people.

madmax888 Serial expat

243POSTS

12 years ago

#180

Mal - Thanks for the backup! Check his photo image. He looks like a real loser. Lets all ignore him. Still working on getting my divorce decree from California. More officials with nothing to do but get in the way.
mm

mal ViP

1508POSTS

12 years ago

#181

Best of Luck, MM!

pove_pich Member

24POSTS

12 years ago

#182

feel so happy to hear that

wish u both good luck all the time

Acadian450 Active member

28POSTS

12 years ago

#183

The last post I can see is 2012, this is such a heart warming story I hope all is well and madmax is too busy to post.

Acadian450 Active member

28POSTS

12 years ago

#184

Sorry madmax, once I posted your other posts came up. I am moving to PP next week, the next time you guys are in town I would love to host you for dinner and a few drinks. It would be an honor to get to know you and Chroeb.

madmax888 Serial expat

243POSTS

12 years ago

#185

Thank you for your generous offer! I am not sure when that will be! Chroeb and I are in the midst of leasing some cashew tree land with her father and brother, who have been doing cashew growing for a few years now. Maybe sometime in September?

wanderingsalsero Contributor

167POSTS

12 years ago

#186

Frankly, I wouldn't start investing in stuff with Cambodians or anybody until you've gotten to know her/them better. You can say or think what you want but this girl comes from a completely different culture. Totally different than what you or I am used to.

I'll never forget that video I saw, about an hour long it was, on YouTube about an Englishman who 'fell in love' with a Thai girl and through the various ups and downs of the relationship he became infatuated with her.

They had a big wedding, he was totally bonkered with his 'new life' and feeling of happiness and peace......

They moved to her home village (he met her in a bar) built a nice house, started a pig farm, she loved it and was totally involved in the business but he was actually rather bored (eventually).

And then she suddenly turned rogue on him. And even in the video he admitted he still didn't know why. He's spent all his money of course but the worse part was the emotional devastation of being blindsided but not really knowing what happened.

He managed to borrow some money from her and flew back the the UK and that's where the film ended.

From the content of the video I got the impression that she just decided she didn't need him any more and she was totally and absolutely amoral about it. Buddhists can be like that because they believe there's a finite amount of good and evil that will always be in the world...ie. 'shit happens'.

It wasn't a case of some evil intent on her part but rather just just something she felt compelled to do. The video showed them through various stages of the relationship but in the end, it was obvious that she looked at him as equivalent to an injured dog or something.

Reality is partly what you want to perceive it to be and I think that's what's happened here with you. But obviously you're hooked so....I hope it works.

Regards,
Art

Spyke49 Active member

78POSTS

12 years ago

#187

i cant imaginethat there are still people falling for that, buying her a house and a business in her home, giving your wife a home in her village , but still keep the fruktbruck for yourself(right to use it at all times )if she wants to stop with you , she is the one who has to move out even she is the owner.if you marry use the prenoptual agreement for pete s sake.if you give her everything she wants then you should be cheated on , just for beeing so stupid.when one of the girls is staying with me for like a month,i take care of her ,food shelter drinks ,clothes,and she gets some pocketmoney.if she wants more, there is the carpenters hole(the door).in hailand th girls are becoming more and more a moneymonster.but it is the farangs fault for giving it.

wanderingsalsero Contributor

167POSTS

12 years ago

#188

I agree with that comment after mine but honestly, I really don't think these girls take advantage of farangs out of the feeling we would call malice. They just don't see anything wrong with it (sometimes). It's like condemning a Piranha for biting your finger off. What the hell did you expect?

I had a girlfriend in Vietnam, many years ago, who listened to some of the wrong kind of girlfriends who told her that I wasn't giving her enough money to run the house on (which was probably true) and so she left when I told her she could 'hit the road' if she didn't like the deal. I actually wasn't making much money so I was under a lot of stress too.

Anyway, a few days later, she and an accomplice just broke into our apartment (it wasn't much) where I still was and pretty much cleaned me out. I realize now, of course, that it was a communication problem and I got myself into the situation by my immature thinking about the relationship.

A year or so later, after I'd moved to Saigon and had a pretty good job with USO, she let it be known that she'd like to make up with me but I wouldn't have any part of it. I just think that very, very few Americans realize the difference in the way we think (I mean..the good parts of it) than anybody else in the world.

That's why we're such 'chumps' when it comes to dealing with foreigners especially in their own country. In the Philippines it's bad because they LOOK and TALK like us to an extent. But there's big differences between them and us here too.

Art

Regards,
Art

madmax888 Serial expat

243POSTS

12 years ago

#189

Buddy, you are so wrong about Chroeb. I don't see a sign of that kind of girl in her. She has never been a taxi girl, and has hardly ever even spoken to a non-Khmer. Don't confuse her with the s**** you hang out with. I've had plenty of them, and I know what to look for. She has been with me for almost 3 years now, and I've got little money, and she knows it. She's just happy to have a husband (type) at her age. Remember, in Cambodia, if a girl isn't married by her mid-20's, she TOO old for most Khmer men, and TOO old for the bar-girl trade. She knows she is lucky to have found me, and I don't spoil her. We take care of each other.

David ViP

9410POSTS

12 years ago

#190

Hi all,

Can this thread carry on without crossing borders, and respectful to each and everyone.

Regards,

David.

suerte007 Contributor

121POSTS

12 years ago

#191

Hell madmax,

You are a lucky to met her and go all the way mate.

madmax888 Serial expat

243POSTS

12 years ago

#192

Thank you, Suerte! Chroeb told me a while back, and I posted her thoughts here, that I was given to her by Buddha. At that time, she was 30, and felt that she had no chance for a real life, outside of cleaning someone else's house. As for me, I had spent many years going from one bad choice to another, and only found any success at all in lands far from America. I did well in Mexico, and almost ended up there, but for the drug wars going on! I had always enjoyed my times in Thailand, back in the late 60's, and again in 2005-6. Karma has a strange way of acting some times! More than once I have felt as if I should have been here many years ago. Buddha dropped Chroeb into my lap!

mal ViP

1508POSTS

12 years ago

#193

Hey MM,
Chroeb is a pretty girl. But the pic is so tiny to see her. Like to see a nice recent picture of the love birds;)

Jackstinger New member

9POSTS

12 years ago

#194

Well spoken madman. Like a true American patriot. Drug wars in Mexico.? Sheez don't tell me u were involved in them. Lol. Anyways good to see your back in Asia homey. Nice woman nice song and dance nice food nice wine nice pretty much everything. Except for the stifling heat. And poor air quality. N gazillions of cars on the street. N tuk tuks. Or cyclos. This might all seem hunky dory to ya at the mo but things will thin down as u pass this life by in Asia. U will truly discover why they call this the I quote " magical mystical continent". All that glitters they say is never gold. Good luck bud and stay focused.

madmax888 Serial expat

243POSTS

12 years ago

#195

That's why I avoid Phnom Penh as much as I can! Send me a private message, and I will give you my facebook name, and you can look at all the photos!

lkrause38 Member

18POSTS

12 years ago

#196

Unfortunately there are always the bad seeds, but that applies to every country, and every culture has their own justification for their actions (though Ive yet to meet a serious Buddhist who lives by the shit happens theory - Thereveda Buddhists believe in earning merit; they work to build up their karmic points, not to deduct from them). Maybe its different for women, but I have not had this problem with my fiancé. Initially I, being human and not a complete idiot, had those fears in the back of my mind. After a series of unfortunate events nearing Shakespearean proportions I lost everything. Every single penny to my name, including the means to re-new my visa, which left me unemployable. My fiancé and his family (the family lives in the villages, hand to mouth and often in debt), completely supported me for over a year while I scrambled to find a way to acquire the ever growing visa charges ($5 per day, plus renewal fees). They continued to support me not knowing if I would ever be able to fix it. Now that is straightened out and our incomes are pretty much the same, I teach and he drives. Hes definitely not with me for money! I wouldnt normally share such personal info on-line like this, but some of the former posts made me sad. Yes, I know it happens more often than wed care to admit and its easy, and justifiably so, to become jaded. I just wanted to add a positive antidote to the mix.

madmax888 Serial expat

243POSTS

12 years ago

#197

Glad to hear of good karma happening! I think I'm working off some past incarnation's load of bad! Most of it seems to be gone now, just found out that the document I've been waiting for will be in the mail soon. When it arrives, I will begin making plans for Chroeb and I to marry in Hong Kong.

lkrause38 Member

18POSTS

12 years ago

#198

If you dont mind, Id like to know how the marraige process works in Hong Kong. Its so expensive and such hassle to do it in Cambodia; we were thinking of going to Thailand. Is Hong Kong cheaper/easier? Yeah, Ive been working on my karma as wellas I learned the hard way the old saying is true: what you do comes back to you threefold (at the very least). Best of luck to you and your bride to be!

Jackstinger New member

9POSTS

12 years ago

#199

Good luck bud. Wish we could be there to witness this blissful occasion. Pls post some pics after the big day bud. I'm sure we'd all like to see. Ta

madmax888 Serial expat

243POSTS

12 years ago

#200

It is not expensive to get married in Thailand. If the girl is a Khmer, she must obtain an "Affirmation of Freedom to Marry" BEFORE you go to Thailand - they will NOT issue one at the Embassy in BKK. I am not sure which ministry it is in PP. She may be able to get one from her local provincial (Preah) office. Then, its a matter of some forms, must be translated into Thai. and registration. takes about 3-4 days all together, but lots of time to see stuff while waiting. Good luck!

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