Life's "turning points"

beppi wrote:

My life had so many turning points, it sometimes resembled a drunkard's stagger. But it was never boring, and it made me who I am now.

Ah, but to win the prize, Beppi, you have to select just one - the one that decided your present life more than any of the others!

And by the way, all those sojourns in Singapore and Indonesia, and back in Germany... were you actually living there every time, or just visiting? And wouldn't your first time living outside your home nation qualify as a major turning point?

beppi wrote:

My life had so many turning points, it sometimes resembled a drunkard's stagger. But it was never boring, and it made me who I am now.

Well, it seems to have made you very secretive, beppi! I can't see that it's a big deal to reveal one's life's turning point, but it's a free world. Anybody else want to disclose his or her turning point?

MohammedSalah87 wrote:

...in our life the true turning point was when we born and later when we die

Well, not quite, Mohammed. Before you're born you have no life, and after you die you have no life. So those events are not "turning points" by the ordinary definition of the term. If someone doesn't have any "turning point", he's led an entirely boring life, I'd say.

Mazhbeen.s wrote:

I've had a few. I think the biggest turning point for me was ending a relationship that was very important to me.

I expect emigrating from India was also an important turning point. Emigrating must be one of the turning points of every expat. It was for me, too - though not quite as important as the one I identified in my OP. So I'm with Mazhbeen, on that. It's fun to track down all the points, isn't it?

Medol wrote:

I have been an expat since i was a small child, because of that i feel expat when i am in my own country.

Well, you bring up an interesting diversion - namely, what is one's "own country"? Your profile says you live in China, so I'm guessing that your parents have moved around from place to place without them or you becoming citizens or passport-holders of any of those places. Is that the case? Then, presumably, your "own" country - whichever it is - is the only place that you can live without having to get some kind of permit. "Home is where they have to take you in", right?

When our son was born in England - of Australian parents - we registered his birth at the Australian consulate there, which enabled him to get an Australian passport in later years. His years of domicile in the Cayman Islands earned him Caymanian citizenship and subsequently UK citizenship, so he now has passports from three countries (EU/UK, Cayman and Australian), plus he has Permanent Residence in Norway. He calls himself English. His parents call themselves Caymanian, which is technically correct, although most native-born Caymanians regard all immigrants as expats. Go figure.

AllieTea wrote:

I have had many turning points, and I don’t mind being public about my own obstacles because we all have them in different forms, but mine began when my mother inherited books from a family member who passed away. At age 9, I began reading philosophical books, like “As a Man Thinketh,” by James Allen. During difficult times, I spent my childhood reading, reflecting (a lot) journaling, and writing.

A drastic turning point happened when I fell in love with the wrong person... However, the real, peak turning point for me was after I left him, which felt like climbing the highest mountain in my mind/body/spirit towards my inner freedom, I had many “spiritual” breakthrough experiences that were ...like a literal Heaven on Earth, one in which changed me forever.

I feel like the process of my life has been fighting for inner freedom and peace, all of which is freely given to each one of us; I suppose now I’m working on my vision.

[Also, visiting Peru and living in many USA states really opened my vision as well].

Hi Allie, I can see that your mother's inheritance was a sure turning point, and also your leaving your first husband; but was getting married the first time a true turning point, in that it changed your life in a way that influenced everything that came after? Having the ability to fight through tough times is part of one's character, I would say. (Personal opinion only, of course.) As for our vision, that's always changing, isn't it.

Going to Vilcabamba may have been another turning point for you - but maybe that followed on from some earlier decision. What prompted you to go there? My son and his girlfriend were on the hippy trail down there for a time 16 years ago, and my wife (his mother) visited them there. Becoming a hippy could be considered a turning point of his life, but I that decision really just followed his random decision a couple of years earlier, to "turn left at Galveston". But I could be wrong about that, too! Maybe even that had its genesis in dropping out of college years before that.

Gordon Barlow wrote:

AllieTea wrote:

I have had many turning points, and I don’t mind being public about my own obstacles because we all have them in different forms, but mine began when my mother inherited books from a family member who passed away. At age 9, I began reading philosophical books, like “As a Man Thinketh,” by James Allen. During difficult times, I spent my childhood reading, reflecting (a lot) journaling, and writing.

A drastic turning point happened when I fell in love with the wrong person... However, the real, peak turning point for me was after I left him, which felt like climbing the highest mountain in my mind/body/spirit towards my inner freedom, I had many “spiritual” breakthrough experiences that were ...like a literal Heaven on Earth, one in which changed me forever.

I feel like the process of my life has been fighting for inner freedom and peace, all of which is freely given to each one of us; I suppose now I’m working on my vision.

[Also, visiting Peru and living in many USA states really opened my vision as well].

Hi Allie, I can see that your mother's inheritance was a sure turning point, and also your leaving your first husband; but was getting married the first time a true turning point, in that it changed your life in a way that influenced everything that came after? Having the ability to fight through tough times is part of one's character, I would say. (Personal opinion only, of course.) As for our vision, that's always changing, isn't it.

Going to Vilcabamba may have been another turning point for you - but maybe that followed on from some earlier decision. What prompted you to go there? My son and his girlfriend were on the hippy trail down there for a time 16 years ago, and my wife (his mother) visited them there. Becoming a hippy could be considered a turning point of his life, but I that decision really just followed his random decision a couple of years earlier, to "turn left at Galveston". But I could be wrong about that, too! Maybe even that had its genesis in dropping out of college years before that.

Hi there Gordon,

I didn't get married to him. I was at the time in my life when I was looking for a serious and long-term relationship, in which case I gave way too much devotion to someone who inevitably did not have my best interest in mind nor did he have self-control over his emotions, which was derived from his childhood trauma. Basically, I was naive at the time, thinking that love itself could change things around [possibly it can, but not with him], but still ironically love did change things around for me, but it just wasn't "my egoic vision" with him, but another type of love and healing revealed itself to me later from my own open heart. For the first time, I poured my everything into someone, but I believe that eventually that man would have killed me [he had major anger issues]. You could say it was a very character building scenario. I even ended up being homeless for several months as well, after my dog died and a roommate off craigslist bailed on rent in the same month. That was another turning point and character building moment. Truly, I was way too trusting of other people, which was my real problem.

Also, I went to Lima, Peru, not Vilcabamba yet [I've researched and read on Vilcabamba for years, but it's a plan to go and feel it out]. My initial attraction to Vilcabamba was due to the expat scene there and the beauty, but honestly I've really outgrown that "hippy mindset" in many ways. I'm less of a hippy and more of an open-minded person, with the belief that people should live their lives as they please, but always with respect to others. I did, however, at one point have a truck camper with plans to live and travel around the USA, but it was terribly hot and parking via campsites was much more expensive than anticipated, plus the truck ended up breaking down. Regardless, I originally went to Peru with intentions to stay for a while, sold everything of mine, but that same boyfriend was way too afraid to step outside of his comfort zone and find a job. Instead, I flew back to the states and continued the relationship [sad face]. Another turning point, haha! I more closely notice red flags in people now versus viewing traits as weaknesses or "character flaws." Seeing a person's potential is one thing, but seeing things for what they actually are is the real truth.