Are introverted people repulsive?

procella Active member

32POSTS

8 years ago

Almost every country there are some introverted, quiet and calm people. Do you think they are antipathic and repulsive?

Some people dont want introverts around them. What do you think about introverts?

Add your country your comments.

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anonymous7 Guest

0POSTS

8 years ago

No they are not repulsive. They just have a different way in dealing with people and their surroundings. They prefer having 2 very close friends rather than having 100+ friends. They prefer quiet environment rather than social gatherings. Introverts are sometimes the best listeners. So they have their strong points as well as their weak points. The same for extroverts... they are maybe more open and more sociable but they for sure have their weaknesses too.

Bob K VIP Member

7675POSTS

8 years ago

Wow that is one I never have or ever would have thought about.
Now having thought about for a minute (a minute of time I will never get back) my answer is................NO

Bob K

beppi Germany/Singapore Expert

15635POSTS

8 years ago

The variety of characters is one of the strengths of humanity - and they all need to exist to make us who we are!

Btesfaye Member

15POSTS

8 years ago

most people don't want to be around me b/c am .... . so it is true people dont want introverts around them . & am like its just the way i am what do you want me to do about it ?

ParkwayPro New member

6POSTS

8 years ago

In my experience I'd say, yes. People like myself that are introverted are perceived as having "an attitude" or being "stuck-up." This has been a major issue my entire life. If you don't have the ability to b***t and talk about superficial crap....then it's very hard to get ahead. I like to think about what I am going to say before I say it.

Where I am, in Costa Rica, it's extremely difficult because the people here love to b****t and be social, whereas it takes me a while to warm up to people. The social skills of the average Costa Rican are something I marvel at. Then can b***t with the best of them but they can't pave a road properly. : )

Bob K VIP Member

7675POSTS

8 years ago

Wow sounds a lot like the Dominican Republic

Bob K

lucydayw Member

16POSTS

8 years ago

Introverts face a lot of challenges. In the US (where I'm from) as well as other countries, although it varies by region, there is a kind of cultural expectation that people are friendly and talkative in social situations, even ones as simple as passing someone walking the opposite way. Worse, students are sometimes penalized if they do not contribute to the discussion spontaneously or raise their hands to ask questions in class. In the working world, when your social circle is naturally large, you have more opportunities to network.

I have heard that in some countries, maybe Denmark and other parts of Northern Europe, people are generally more reserved. I have not lived in a place quite like that, but here in Singapore, I do not feel particularly obliged to greet strangers when getting into the lift.

If you're an extrovert and don't like introverts, I'd say you're lucky: introverts are likely to keep away from you anyway. If you're an introvert and don't like extroverts, you might have some difficulty. Extroverts tend to assume everyone needs to participate, they tend to be in control in a variety of situations, and they often strictly require participation from those who would prefer to just observe. Maybe introverts are sometimes repulsive, but then extroverts are, too... we should all try to understand and accommodate one another.

In 2012, Susan Cain gave a TED talk and published a book about the value that introverts bring to the world even though extroversion may seem to be the norm. Hearing her point of view is great for gaining perspective whether you're an introvert or an extrovert.

About Susan Cain's book:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quiet:_Th … op_Talking

Link to Susan Cain's TED talk:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0KYU2j0TM4

I would be interested to hear from people who have lived in more "introverted" places and can make some comparisons.

aryavrat ViP

2081POSTS

8 years ago

I really don't even think of this because for me if you are alone or with number of friends things doesn't change for you....of course if you are with someone you can share and get some idea but how many of us do things according to others .....we do what we want to do ......sometime it's good being alone also so that we can analyse our deeds

Regards
Aryavrat

asacan New member

5POSTS

8 years ago

#10

"Repulsive"? What an odd word to use, but I guess, literally, correct. If people prefer to be alone (as introverts do), then they would normally repulse, that is, drive away, anyone who would attempt to infringe upon their seclusion. But, I tend to think, at least in the way I normally see/hear the word used, that it would be a synonym for "vile" or "disgusting".

I'm not an introvert, but like anyone else, I do enjoy some time alone. As an extrovert, though, it's hard for us to imagine that there are people who are happy by simply being left alone. Doesn't matter, to me, though, I'll continue to smile at them, greet them, attempt to engage them in conversation. As much as they may want me to understand that they don't want to be engaged by other people, they equally should understand that we want to be engaged with other people. I'll still try to treat them with the same respect that I desire to be treated with.

beppi Germany/Singapore Expert

15635POSTS

8 years ago

#11

I am probably an "introvert" by the definition of this thread, but I DO NOT like to be alone.
It is just that, when among people, I don't talk much. I am happy to let others, who seem to need it, be the centre of attention. In any case, I learn more by listening and watching than by talking, so that suits me well. In any case, the topics tend to be rather shallow.
Only when with a (smaller) group of intellectually stimulatiing people (who are usually also introverts) and the discussion comes to one of my pet topics (say interculturalism, or comparative religious studies, or the wonders of nature), do I contribute to (and value) the conversation.

ARB360 Banned

226POSTS

8 years ago

#12

mariamalmasry wrote:
No they are not repulsive. They just have a different way in dealing with people and their surroundings. They prefer having 2 very close friends rather than having 100+ friends. They prefer quiet environment rather than social gatherings. Introverts are sometimes the best listeners. So they have their strong points as well as their weak points. The same for extroverts... they are maybe more open and more sociable but they for sure have their weaknesses too.

Well stated. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

ARB360 Banned

226POSTS

8 years ago

#13

asacan wrote:
"Repulsive"? What an odd word to use, but I guess, literally, correct. If people prefer to be alone (as introverts do), then they would normally repulse, that is, drive away, anyone who would attempt to infringe upon their seclusion. But, I tend to think, at least in the way I normally see/hear the word used, that it would be a synonym for "vile" or "disgusting".

I'm not an introvert, but like anyone else, I do enjoy some time alone. As an extrovert, though, it's hard for us to imagine that there are people who are happy by simply being left alone. Doesn't matter, to me, though, I'll continue to smile at them, greet them, attempt to engage them in conversation. As much as they may want me to understand that they don't want to be engaged by other people, they equally should understand that we want to be engaged with other people. I'll still try to treat them with the same respect that I desire to be treated with.

Another well-stated, and written reply post. An excellent mindset, indeed. Thank you, sir!

LouiseRinoza Member

16POSTS

8 years ago

#14

I'm pretty sure I'm a nice person lol.

If you've met that kind of person, they're simply rude. Not Introvert=repulsive hah..

YehiaS Member

1POSTS

8 years ago

#15

Not most of the time, some people need more privacy and quietness, but they still communicate properly and respectfully.

stumpy Laos Expert

18028POSTS

8 years ago

#16

In my humble opinion introverted people are largely misunderstood by others.
You can be lonely in a crowd.
An introverted person may want to be alone more often than not and so this may well be the cause of the misunderstanding by others.
Just because they do not conform to the norm, this is no reason for repulsion.

ewka Member

14POSTS

8 years ago

#17

hello everyone, yes, I think that most people in most countries prefer extroverts because they are often talkative, friendly, party animals, very sociable etc while intoverts are usually more quiet people. I am not sure if I am more extrovert or introvert because whenever I did some tests the results showed almost fifty-fifty, I guess I am more extroverted when I am with people who I like and feel at ease, then I like talking, socialising etc but when I have to attend a meeting full of strangers or people who I dislike the introverted part of me kicks in :-)

mohanadaboor Member

3POSTS

8 years ago

#18

So now I gotta be a party animal to make everybody like me?
Well, I don‘t care about everybody, I‘d rather take a long walk with someone I‘m really comfortable with than being a party animal.
I think the whole point is too shallow.

ewka Member

14POSTS

8 years ago

#19

Hello, no, you don't need to be a party animal to make everybody like you and why would anybody even want to be liked by everybody? You should be yourself. But that's how our society works, the loud and sociable people are often more liked, should it be so? We can argue. It is the same with popular music, it is listened by many people (that is why it is called pop music) is it good quality music? Hardly ever, but it doesn't change the fact that it appeals to taste of many people. We simply live in such world, nobody can deny it. So saying that extroverts often have more friends and people often prefer them has nothing to do with you, it is just stating facts, like saying tall men are often prefered than short men, which doesn't mean that all men should be tall. Diversity is good so people should never be copy-cats. Cheers!

Durphym Member

21POSTS

8 years ago

#20

As a social introvert I do not consider myself or others cut from the same cloth repulsive.

Growing up I was extremely popular. Being with extroverts tends to bring out the extrovert in me. Admittedly, I don't fair well in large groups of people. I much prefer being with a few people that I know well. I enjoy solitude, yet I find that from time to time socializing has its rewards. If introverts repulse you, then you have a problem not the introverts. I take people based on their own merits not on whether they are introverted, extroverted or somewhere in between.

ARB360 Banned

226POSTS

8 years ago

#21

Durphym wrote:
As a social introvert I do not consider myself or others cut from the same cloth repulsive. Growing up I was extremely popular. Being with extroverts tends to bring out the extrovert in me. Admittedly, I don't fair well in large groups of people. I much prefer being with a few people that I know well. I enjoy solitude, yet I find that from time to time socializing has its rewards. If introverts repulse you, then you have a problem not the introverts. I take people based on their own merits not on whether they are introverted, extroverted or somewhere in between.

aryavrat ViP

2081POSTS

8 years ago

#22

I agree with you

sanooku Banned

672POSTS

8 years ago

#23

@Op: An introvert is not the same as a person suffering from leprosy (in ancient times). Suffice to say, IF an introvert did suffer from this ghastly disease (nowadays), I'm pretty sure they would quarantine themselves.

anonymous7 Guest

0POSTS

8 years ago

#24

Most people have became introvert. I blame technology.

Asif_Hassan Oman Advisor

258POSTS

8 years ago

#25

No. Introverts are more reflective and sensitive. In my opinion they are better , more sincere, honest to their feelings & loyal.

ADIyer New member

9POSTS

8 years ago

#26

I am an INFJ. I am often though of as an antisocial, arrogant, b-word, and I am not any of those.
India, where I am from, is very social, (anything between mildly piqued, interested, curious, consumed with curiosity, downright rude with curiosity, and dead because of curiosity.) in close proximity, but you don't have to smile at the stranger walking next to you in the park.
No, introverts are perfectly normal people, though I cannot define "normal".
Sometimes it is a hindrance in expectation setting or conflict management, but we survive just fine. :-)

aryavrat ViP

2081POSTS

8 years ago

#27

Every where people are social and they looked for their privacy too ,so it's we who choose how the way we want to move

cswartz40 Member

2POSTS

8 years ago

#28

No, introverts are not repulsive, they recharge by being alone, while extroverts recharge by being around people. Introverts have fewer but closure friends, while extroverts have lots of friends, but not as close. Introverts enjoy one on one conversations, extroverts love group conversations. Introverts are better at focusing then extroverts. Extroverts are more open. Introverts take more time to make decisions. Extroverts love attention.

Most people have traits of both extrovert and introvert, very rarely is a person 100% one or the other, and some are more of one then the other and sometimes the degree may vary from time to time and may change as a person matures and experience new life lessons.

I am introvert, my spouse is more extrovert it is a great combination.

Cindy

sanooku Banned

672POSTS

8 years ago

#29

cswartz40 wrote:
...Introverts take more time to make decisions.....

...I am introvert, my spouse is more extrovert it is a great combination.

Cindy

According to this source:

"..Although extroverts are always considered good leaders due to their interaction and communication skills, when it comes to making the right decision, introverts have better abilities than extroverts..."

Of course, it doesn't say much about the speed of decision-making. However, extroverts themselves accept that they are more likely to make quick snap decisions that turn out to be a mistake. Also, they are more likely to repeat the same mistake as they tend to speed-up (not slow-down) on discovering the mistake.

There is a remarkable list of introverts here.

I cannot see how certain people on this list can be seen as slow in their decision-making. Also, I cannot see how extroverts "are always considered good leaders".

When it come to family life, it seems, if you are an extrovert, and your partner is an introvert (or vice versa), everything balances out. Here's my source:

https://reallearningforachange.com/busi … extrovert/

sasamarelj Member

2POSTS

8 years ago

#30

I believe that the introverts had in the past had some sort of trauma without protection, so they retreated into themselves. They are better people than others, but on the tears of inner suffering that could be freed if they remembered the trauma and begun to defend themselves and the fear of returning to whom it was and who gave them that fear. They would have been much better people and happier.

beppi Germany/Singapore Expert

15635POSTS

8 years ago

#31

Sasamarelj: You are certainly wrong with his sweeping (and unjust) generalization! Neither are all introverts suffering from trauma, nor are they generally worse or unhappier than extroverts.
How can you say something like that about others just because their character is different from yours and you fail to understand it?
Please, let‘s keep this discussion on a more serious and constructive level!

sasamarelj Member

2POSTS

8 years ago

#32

I am one of the introverts, and I know very well that in some situations and jobs far far better than anyone who tries to look ahead to others as a dangerous dull person. The ones who turn to themselves are not only far more capable in life than and for the environment and associates, with concrete results, as opposed to the people of the opposite of what I call people og lie and I have long considered why and I am not free to show my opinions and feelings to others in the moment and want me to show myself as the best , but prefer people who are similar to me and they can also show result in life not just on the words. If you look deep into your own, you see there is some kind of fear, forgotten, that enables you to be a far better person in the private and business world than many in your environment, but not with people who do not choose their happiness with lying down , the problem is to put in yourself in forgotten trauma, to perceive in a different way and to pick up the burden of pepople of lie .If you refuse to conflict or stay introvert there is no true happyness, I am speaking from my own experience, people facing their inner life must protect themselves from objections and other attacks in every way from other people who are not as good as seem. To use the power of steam it is necessary to create the pressure that is the bearer of progress but also affects on their own happiness.

beppi Germany/Singapore Expert

15635POSTS

8 years ago

#33

That's you, not me or any other introvert I know.
Why do you think introvert means "not free to show opinions and feelings", "prefer people who are similar to you", have "some kind of fear" or "forgotten trauma", "refuse to conflict", "protect themselves from objections" and know "no true happyness"?
None of these apply to me: I am generally content, not shy to state a conflicting opinion or pursue contrary goals and I'm not afraid - especially not of the opinion others might have of me (which affect me far less than an extrovert). But I do welcome constructive criticism of what I am doing or saying, because I believe that it gives me the chance to learn and change for the better.
I am introvert just because I don't have the ability (nor the wish) to be the centre of attention or entertain a crowd. If there are others in a group who want to hear themselves talk (as there invariably are), I prefer to stay quiet and listen.
In other words, unlike you I have no problem with being who I am. Why do you?

procella Active member

32POSTS

8 years ago

#34

As i understand, reactions to introverts differ from place to place. in Europe and in USA introverts are not repulsive mostly.

But in Turkey, where i grew up and still live, introverts are thought as weird, lack of self-confidence, isolated themselves etc.

In my opinion don't be prejudiced to introverts and anyone else. Everyone has different past, lifestories and perceptions.
Stay well all.

jeanmhealy Member

1POSTS

8 years ago

#35

Wow - I'm an introvert and don't see myself as repulsive. I'm a pleasant enough person, I have friends, I get on with my colleagues at work, am kind and empathic. The only difference is that I don't enjoy group nights out, and choose not to attend. I much prefer to go home, get into something comfortable and read a book!

beppi Germany/Singapore Expert

15635POSTS

8 years ago

#36

https://brightside.me/inspiration-psych … 5mincrafts

ian_mac Member

19POSTS

8 years ago

#37

Australia.
No they are not repulsive. They just aren't often much fun.
Then, on other occasions, once you do break them out of their shell (even if you're alone with them) then they are super fun

Radan New member

3POSTS

8 years ago

#38

No I don't think introverts are repulsive. Their shyness and calmness speaks itself man

mohanadaboor Member

3POSTS

8 years ago

#39

+1
Some people just don‘t get that we enjoy being alonr for a while.

R_Mortisse Member

24POSTS

8 years ago

#40

I consider it a,necessity, to just 'disconnect' sometimes. Other people are most often a distraction. Sometimes, I really need to collect my thoughts and focus. People don't seem to understand these times. But, I've never lost a friend over it. What is far more common in my life, are those times when stress and pressure 'overloaded' my nerves... and I lost friends due to my 'poor attitude'. Sometimes a little 'withdrawn quiet' can be a very healthy and productive thing. (Monasteries would be vastly different places if they threw keggers, dance partied, and socializing events.)