Your 10 best tips to make friends when you're abroad

cvnuttee wrote:

Moving anyplace new is hard even if it is from one part of the US to another.   My good friend moved from the southwest to new england states and really had a tough time with the difference in attutudes.  It took her a long time to adjust and she was still very upset after three or four years and missed the southwest tremendously now it has been over twenty years and she has accepted being in new england.

Anyway, my point it that all moves are hard to adjust and make new friends and lives and it is more complicated in a foreign country thats for sure.

cvnuttee,

Your points are very insightful.  I have lived in the US for decades (tells you guys how old I am, ehem) and moved to or from the four corners of the country, thus experiencing many subcultures in the process. Now in the south I miss the work ethic of the north almost everyday.

I agree with you in that moving into a new environment is hard, no matter what. Personally, I do not make friends fast and don't have many friends but those I have are GREAT! Fits my style and way of thinking very well.  I had to learned to be patient. 

Also agree with sanaarsh from: riyadh, who says "i have only one tip .............try to live with yourself ...love silence and loneliness.........." 

"Back home" I partied weekly and had tons of friends.  It seemed I knew everyone in town. Then I decided to go the US and I became a different person.  None of the things I liked to do at home where available to me in my new environment. In time I learned to appreciate the new world I lived in.

In time also, you have to learn to feel comfortable in solitude, since for many, you will spend most of your time alone! Repeat: MOST OF YOUR TIME ALONE! in your skin, with your own little thoughts.  That means, you need to learn to discern between TV showing you all the (fake) fun others are having while "you feel so miserably lonely." Learn to pull yourself out of bed, out of the room, or the house, and hang out where people are. Willing to cry, willing to indulge in something YOU like even if you do so ALONE MANY TIMES,  Willing to laugh about something ALONE. You must learn to tame your own demons. 

Your personality dictates the activities that facilitate making friends abroad.  Realizing that, I have always moved for work and/or study because there is where I make friends since I develop my friendships slowly, and go out to bars very rarely. Love to dance party but don't like the typical drinking party... see?

For those who might have a similar style to mine, volunteering should help; saying hi to neighbors regularly; also consider things like speaker's bureau (your accent will be a plus); participate volunteering in city-wide sports or environment related events for kids or adults--contact the Mayor's office--; the local botanical garden, museum, and esp. college clubs (dance, environment, archaeology, community service types, some sports---where there is a lot of opportunity to interact with other people over and over again... and you can get to know them.  As old as I am, I like to hang out with college folks. Now I am an unofficial member of a student organization and have a blast with them! Every Friday we garden together and I get free beer (probably because they figured out I get drunk on half bottle the point is...it works!)

As other's have suggested, be a "regular" somewhere where people will see you, notice you and eventually expect you: the bar, deli, park with your dog, yard with your cat, park with your binoculars or camera, local library (try volunteering there), club, the local whatever.

And yes, the US is tough to break. For many, if not most, it's hard not to feel lonesome here.  Although it now feels great to be alone and not feel lonesome.

Do master the language.  Do learn the local culture. But keep your uniqueness.  As Bob the anthropologist, my late ex-husband and best friend used to say, when in Rome, do as the Romanians!

Gary wrote:

To get to know locals:

1. Learn the  language ASAP
2. Visit the local watering hole
3. Invite your neighbors for a drink and/or a meal
4. Visit local sports matches
5. If you have kids, invite kids their age over to play - you'll get to know their parents

To get to know other expats (if that's what you really want...)

1. Become a member of social clubs (your fellow countrymen might have a national club)
2. Once in the club, become a board member.
3. Find out where expats of your and other countries hang out and go there.
4. Become a member of business associations
5. Organize a international expat party in your place

Well established list, I was just to state the same

Julien wrote:

We've been talking about loneliness when you're abroad, let's now talk about how to make (local and other expats) friends when you're living far from home

Which are your 10 best tips?

the tips:
1.u get a local interesting friend
2.u can be friendly with guide if u are guided through