Pregnancy

Hi everybody. Hope you are having a great day.


Im Anita and i am 22 years old. I live in germany from 2016. And i started working in may. I got my visa from Slovenia because i used to live there so we moved here with my family. I have a part time job 20 hours per week. Im pregnant my boyfriend lives illegally in switzerland. He was in jail in 2016 and cannot go to another country until 2019. I want to bring him here because i really dont want to be alone throughout my pregnancy. Im really stressed im even thinking about abortion. Please reply is it hard to bring him here what do i need to have. What if he applys like asylum and then we get married and since im pregnant would that work to make him the visa what exactly do i need. Please reply im desperate scared and really stressed. Im also muslim and not married when my family finds out they are not gonna like it. They can also kick me out of the apartment since i dont have my own. What support do i get for young mothers should i abort it im killing myself with this questions.

Dear Anita,

First and foremost, congratulations for your pregnancy. Kids are the most wonderful thing we can have in life - and you will see that you will have the most wonderful one of them all. (All mothers think so.)
On the other hand, having a kid will also bring huge changes to your life, not all of them positive but all of them manageable with a bit of improvisation.

Now regarding your specific situation:
- Since your boyfriend is a criminal and cannot leave Switzerland, there is probably nothing you can do to get him here. If anything, he must sort out his situation himself. (He can ask his lawyer for advice on this!)
But you need to think about whether a criminal is the right partner and father for your kid. This might not be the case. You are in love and also desperate, so your judgement about him is clouded - therefore please do listen to others' advice on what to do!
- Of course your family would prefer you in a more stable and conventional situation (wouldn't you want that, too?). And of course there will be an angry scene and threatening of bad consequences when they find out. But in the end, I believe, their love for the grandchild (and for their daughter) will prevail and a solution will be found.
They will find out about your pregnancy anyway, sooner or later, so it is better you are honest and tell them about it now. Openly asking for help and support is better than keeping things secret until they find out by themselves.
- Neither your family nor your boyfriend can force you to abort the child - and you should also only consider this if everything else fails and there is no other solution. I don't believe that will happen.
There are several organisations offering help for pregnant ladies in Germany. One of them, Pro Familia, also has an office in your city (see https://www.profamilia.de/angebote-vor- … mberg.html). Please contact them for further support!

Good luck,
    Beppi

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