I've been speaking to a woman from Kampong Speu

I have been speaking to this woman from Kampong Speu who is divorced and has 2 children and she has admitted that she wants my support. I am 21 and work professionally on boats. What should I do? She seems interesting, and although she has no educational background, I have the feeling that she has potential.

She does.

Mostly to drain your bank account, but it's still potential.

@Fred

Yes, that seems to be the case. Fortunately, being young and stupid doesn't usually last long, at least I'm learning it now and not when I'm 50.

Whatever you do, do it with both eyes wide open. I have been 'seeing' a lady from Phnom Penh for 6 months and have been there to visit once already and plan to go back soon. There has been absolutely no discussion about money nor any hints about financial support. This is all to say that not all Cambodians are out to scam you and you should remain open to meeting new and potentially wonderful people. It is also the most beautiful country imaginable… so as ever, use common sense and you'll be OK


    @Fred
Yes, that seems to be the case. Fortunately, being young and stupid doesn't usually last long, at least I'm learning it now and not when I'm 50.
   

    -@Primoperco


It's only stupid if you don't know what's coming.

@Fred

I've done a lot of research here and other places, so part of me felt it was coming, and when she mentioned her sob story, I knew it was, but I didn't want to be right

They are poor and compared to thais they are saints there's a good chance she has never worked the bars if that's the case help her if you like her but tread carefully !!! Look out fir things like the washing machine ist working or she ran over a child and has to give money to the family when your with a western women it's costs you 100 bucks a month would save her life and feel good being in a position to help but ex bar girl run like he'll

@Pablo joule

She works in a garment factory and mentioned that she had broken her arm 2 months ago and showed pictures of herself in hospital as I started to doubt that she had actually broken it.

@andrewthompson2

I think the problem might honestly be the dating apps I've been using to talk to her on ThaiFriendly. In her head, she probably doesn't think she'll see me in real life, so she can do anything she wants.

@Primoperco


Change to video calls

Dear Primperco:

The difference in what "LOVE" means between a westerner and a Cambodia is much more than 6000 miles apart.  Naturally I am much older than you, and most old men on this [or any other site] and speak for long term experience - some good, some not so good.  Helping her is a good thing, IF it is HELP and not a scam.... with a "dating site" they ALL tend to be scams... You might try a small fixed amount, not near enough to support her but to improve her life a bit... say $25 a month which is near a weeks wages to a poor Cambodian.... get her to tell you HOW she spends this money... "What do you really need?" sort of question... lets say she says she needs a washing machine... about $200 in Cambodia....IF she saves up say $50... you can put up the rest.... BUT... YOU order and pay for the machine at an "online" store and have it delivered to her... see what happens.... have her send a photo of the machine in her house.... The cheap China built washers last about 4 years... they are mostly plastic so they don't leak.... good machines but short life span compared to US machines....OK... you now have a couple hundred invested in her... see if she starts asking for MORE and MORE... little "poor me" stories...now you have some basis to make a firm decision.  GOOD LUCK... and do the video calls.... SEE if she is the same girl whom you were writing to..... you might get a suprize!

@Primoperco that's a fair one but your 21 do you realy want or need to get involved with an older women and 2 kids you need to do some soul searching my friend if you hook up with her that's it you have a long road ahead of you ( hopefully) use it wisely 

If you have lived in several different Asian countries for a while you may start to understand that when a Cambodian women is attracted to a European man it is rarely for our charm, wit, good looks and intelligence. Due to differences in diet we are often seen as smelly, overweight, and frustrating to communicate with unless we learn their language. So why do so many expats find relationships with Khmer ladies? Could it be that Cambodia is one of the poorest developing nations on the planet, and we represent a level of financial security that the lady would never achieve in their life? Women here who have good jobs etc usually have a Cambodian husband or boyfriend and have no interest in foreigners. Do the math. If you meet a nice Khmer lady and you can afford to support her every month with a couple of hundred bucks she will take care of you like a king.

@Pablo joule

I'm young but my life experience has made me older I don't need to talk to her but she's not the first woman with children I've tried to converse with.

Hi. Everything is possible, she might be a true sincere honest person willing to give her love to you, and receive yours, she could be also dishonest and only wanting you for your money. Only after time, lots of discussions, lots of exchanges, video calls, 'joint life experiences', you will start to know more about the 'reality' behind her speech. In any case, money is always part the equation. You are rich, and even if she works, her income is low, so there is inequality there, from the start, unavoidable between a Western man and a Khmer lady. You will pay, and that's ok, the man always pays (more) anyway one way or another, just prefer it to be with your awareness, and within accepted limits. I just think that money should not be the main foundation of the relationship, become her 'obsession'. Love is trust, so you have to trust. But you have to stay on a very little alert at all times while the relationship starts developing. Any lie you notice, as small as it may be, should be a reason for distancing. I have started a relationship almost 2 years ago, she was 23 when we meet, I am30y+ older, she lives with her parents in Katie, studies (I pay), I live in another town south, long-distance relationship, we continue to 'learn each other', with the mutual love being definitely there. It is looking good, we are talking engagement for the end of this year, and then we'll start a life living together, in Phnom Penh. All the best to you.