Am I being scammed?

I met a beautiful Colombian girl online in 2019 and we were married 6 months later. I was 49 and she was 19. She had a infant son but that didn't matter. We made plans for her and her son to come to the United States and we would all be a happy family. She gave me all of her documents for the visa but kept making excuses as to why she wouldn't get her son's documents. Finally after 3 years I asked if she wanted to leave her son in Colombia with her mother and she said yes. I submitted her paperwork and had her visa 3 months later. Then it started over again. I think she was shocked that she got a visa because she refused to board several flights and her visa expired. She said she couldn't leave her son because her mother was in the hospital. I went through the process and renewed her visa but after she got it this time she said she wanted her son to come. I told her by the time he got an embassy appointment her visa will have expired again and she needed to come to the United States and get her green card while we wait for his embassy appointment. She keeps refusing so I told her forget it, I'm coming there. I can get a much nicer house there and have more money from my VA and social security retirement to provide for them. I also told her how dangerous and crazy the United States has become and I really like Colombia better. I've made arrangements with a moving company, bought plane tickets, got all the documents for my service dog and have been talking to a realtor in Cali. Now she tells me she refuses to meet with the realtor to choose a house for us, she won't sign my visa documents so I can stay in the country, and won't move because she's in school (which means she never intended on coming to the United States after getting her visa the second time). I'll admit I pay her rent and support her but I can afford it but it seems she's always demanding money. And when I go see her every few months or so she refuses to have sex with me. I feel like she really loves me because when we're together she is all over me and dotes on me constantly and we video chat daily. I just don't understand her behavior. I know she told me she likes it when I buy her expensive gifts because she lives in a very poor neighborhood and she likes making her friends jealous. Why would she marry me only to refuse to come to the United States and why would she get so upset about me coming there? She lives in a crappy 2 bedroom apartment in a bad neighborhood and I'm going to move into a 5 bed 5 bath house with a pool. Also, she keeps my number blocked and on do not disturb and refuses to unblock it no matter how much I threaten her. Any ideas?

@khobbs40 ur being played hardcore, not another peso and find someone closer to your age you dult.

Definitely you are being scammed by a cruel woman.  You need a lawyer, get an annulment.  However you probably already know that.  I would file a complaint in the US Embassy in Bogota to prevent her from ever coming to the USA so you can protect other American men.  Try a legitimate agency to find love and I agree with the other guy, find a woman closer to your own age.  Lots of gently aged beautiful, sincere, loving women there.  I introduced one of my good friends to his soon to be wife.  She was my gf aunt.  She is 58 and looks 35 and a real knockout.  She is from Cali too.  Cut bait and go fish for better catch.

I am a retired gringo from SoCal now living in Colombia....Get down here and meet a nice, beautiful Colombian in person -- not online...Too many online scammers! Adam Scheid is correct....This 19-year-old is working need to get to know a girl in person, to see her true intentions, and get to know her in person....The age difference is a HUGE RED FLAG first of all....You need to RUN not walk away from this predator!

@Stoneecash we've been married almost 4 years now.

@khobbs40 and?   you're trying to justify being played?  Divorce her today !  You're making veterans look stupid.  Quit wasting your VA money on this broad.  find someone your age at least 10 years max difference and find a good lady, I assure you she is taking tons of penga right now.   get real dude, you're a f simp to the fullest degree.  man the hell up and grow a set.

You are definitely being played! I would agree with everyone saying you should divorce her. Stop giving her money and support! It is your turn to block her!***

Good luck!

Moderated by Bhavna 11 months ago
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@khobbs40 *** I don't know how your marriage complicates things. If you divorced her would you have to pay her alimony? Hey bro, I know it sucks but cut her off monetarily and divorce her. Your marriage was made under false pretenses. Find another girl.

I know of quite a few older but nice guys who fell for the same scam. One was a Russian girl with a kid playing my friend from Sweden. Another a Romanian girl was playing an accountant from Boston then that same guy got hooked on another Romanian girl and sent thousands.  So many sad stories. If you are an average guy and a girl is a "10" why do you think she likes you? Money. She brags to her friends that you are her "sugar daddy". Her refusal to have sex is also a violation of marriage vows.

On a positive note, my cousin married a Colombian lady 30 yrs ago. She had two years of college in engineering school. A middle class woman. They have 5 kids and she is a English/Spanish teacher in NY. Their marriage is good.

Moderated by Bhavna 11 months ago
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Sir, your dilemma very much reminds me of a couple i followed from the reality show 90 Day Fiance. Move on, Sir. It's over. I met a fine, decent woman from Cali Colombia in 2018. We met on a social page. We fell in love and i brought her to the United States in late 2021. We married in February 2022 and are currently waiting for her interview for her Permanent Resident Card. We plan to return to Colombia once i reach full retirement age in 2026 and retire in the Coffee Triangle. Best of luck to you, Sir.

@jb701 how fast can I get a divorce in Colombia? Do I have to return? I would like to get the ring back.


Moderated by Bhavna 11 months ago
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Yep. Getting played.

@drpeterjstanton no, her son was 18 months old when I met her

I understand what everyone is saying and I know I need to run like hell but it's very hard being alone for so many years. My previous wife cheated on me and I was in a terrible lonely relationship for 12 years. Then I met the girl in question and she's so sweet to me, which I know is what she's supposed to do to swindle me out of my money. But when you're a lonely disabled veteran with no one in your life that really feels good. I'm going to talk to someone from this thread that can help me with an attorney and professional advice in Colombia. Thanks

Sorry to hear. It makes me upset more than anything to know that she's preying on you and manipulating you in this way. If it's any help I was in contact with *** when getting married and he was dialed in terms of Colombia marriage laws. He helped my wife and I through the process and I'm sure he'd be a good start. I don't know if he's still working there but if that email doesn't work, you should try the general contact at his website

best of luck 🙏🏼

Moderated by Bhavna 11 months ago
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Mr. Hobbs, drop all real estate plans immediately.


Any Gringo who thinks there's a chance he'll

get back the wedding ring he bought for a

Colombiana after four years of technically

being married .. is self-deluding.


The part about being a disabled veteran and

lonely, jettison that concept. It's not leading

anywhere productive.


If, after reading members' posts above, you

still wonder whether you have been scammed,

the fact that you-know-who still demands money

from you while denying you marital relations

should settle the matter with finality.



Time to cut bait. I recently married a beautiful woman from Medellin. She is 6 years younger than me. I am 66 with some medical challenges.   She remains steadfastly committed to me. She is my angel. We currently live in Santa Marta, Colombia. We are also planning to build a residence in Sarasota, Florida. Bottom line, go to Colombia and / or South Florida to find your angel. Also, Venezuelan women have many similarities as Colombian women. Good luck my friend!!!!


Moderated by Bhavna 11 months ago
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@khobbs40 You have been had!

@khobbs40 Children and adolescents, be they Colombian and/or foreign citizens, who reside in Colombia must present permission in order to leave the country from the parents or the parent who does not travel with the minor. Written evidence may be made in a private document and authorized by a notary or in a public deed. Either the father won't allow the child to leave or she doesn't know who the father is.

@Howard Pr there's no father listed on the birth certificate. Is that why she will never get his passport so I can submit his paperwork to the embassy for his visa?

Thank you to all participants who have shared their feedback on this thread.

I think it is clear now.

-Thread closed at the request of the author-