Maintaining a long distance relationship as an expat in England

Member since 01 June 2015

BhavnaTeam18 September 2019 05:24:33

42577

Hello everyone,

Moving to England without your significant other can be quite difficult, especially since your partner is an undeniable source of support. This kind of move may require some adjustments from both parties in order to make it a successful one.

What is challenging about being in a long distance relationship in England?

How to maintain an adequate level of communication considering differing schedules and time zones?

How often would you travel to each others location to meet?

How do you manage to still have a social life in England?

What hurdles need to be considered if you have left behind children who are under the sole care of your partner?

Thanks for sharing your experience,
Bhavna

danicali Member

Member since 22 April 2019

danicaliMember23 September 2019 16:48:24

I personally dont think this sort of super long distance relationship can survive for long. Unless you both have loads of money and can fly out to see each other several times a year. Even then, it's a strain.

But I think the question could have expanded to include maintaining ANY relationships with friends and family stateside.

As I've been in england around 20 years, a lot of people just don't really contact me anymore but then I also don't do social media. It can be hard. Even my old best friend and I've known her since we were 10 years of age, barely contacts me now. It's as if people just give up on you or forget you exist.

My dad died over summer 2018, and I had only seen him a handful of times over those 20 years. We did go out to see him in summer 2017. He was so fragile and poorly, so unlike his old self. So it was hard being away and you do feel a bit guilty.

Also, the longer you live abroad, the less American you get in your thinking, reactions, etc. You may still have your accent, but you become british in many ways and you might not even realise this until maybe other people back home tell you or you realise you feel a bit like a foreigner when you do visit home. I've been told both by people stateside, and from people who are from england, that in spite of my accent, I behave in quite a british way, whatever that means lol. I remember one time a few years ago as we were called to board our plane back to the UK, and I had gone through first before my son, this black american woman working the desk shouted so loudly at me simply for waiting for my son to go through and catch me up. I said back to her, not shouting, "you don't have to f*cking shout at me, do you." What was she gonna do, deport me? I muttered something else about her that I'm not gonna say here. Not sure she heard any of it, but a young british couple who were coming in at the same time heard me, and laughed a bit. Which made me laugh.

i have become harder and tougher than I used to be and I don't hesitate to tell fools where to go. why am i laughing. x

ps - I LOVE CNN AND I WISH WE HAD IT HERE, BLESS THEM, THEY TELL IT LIKE IT IS