Having your significant other in your place. Is it legal?

bluenz wrote:

After marriage in VN, the wife keeps her maiden name, ( kids sometimes carry both mum and dads surnames ), so it would be difficult to know who is married or not.  ( Adulterers paradise? )
  My wife doesn't use my surname in VN, although we were married in Aus, and the marriage was , ' legitimised ' in VN..

charmavietnam wrote:

Actually it's very easy to find out whether the couple married or not if the officials ask for a marriage certificate 

bluenz wrote:

After marriage in VN, the wife keeps her maiden name, ( kids sometimes carry both mum and dads surnames ), so it would be difficult to know who is married or not.  ( Adulterers paradise? )
  My wife doesn't use my surname in VN, although we were married in Aus, and the marriage was , ' legitimised ' in VN..

That's one thing I don't have a habit of carrying around with me?????  But then I don't go to hotels in my home town either.

Parmyd wrote:

It used to be illegal for a Vietnamese woman to live, or stay overnight with a foreigner in a house or hotel. Recently some people have posted that the law is no longer valid. I do know that in 2008 my wife and I were here on vacation and the Hyatt refused to rent us a room because she was Vietnamese and we did not have our marriage certificate.

Same thing with me in 2009, I thought it was just a backward country thing, ( that was easily fixed with a 1 mil bribe, although I did have to spend that night in a hotel here, by myself ). but have since found out no Foreigner is actually allowed to stay in the wife's village at all, ( it is small fishing port, bit of Communist paranoia? )

MrshyONE wrote:

  there's prostitution In Vietnam?  Seriously?    Really?    Where. I never seen it

Nguyen Chi Thanh street, Nguyen Thi Minh Khai ( Thi Nghe bridge), Dien Bien Phu bridge, you will see if you have time. And when you're in a hotel, you'll see though.

hoanghai9x wrote:

MrshyONE wrote:

  there's prostitution In Vietnam?  Seriously?    Really?    Where. I never seen it

Nguyen Chi Thanh street, Nguyen Thi Minh Khai ( Thi Nghe bridge), Dien Bien Phu bridge, you will see if you have time. And when you're in a hotel, you'll see though.

I was joking.  But goid to know

lirelou wrote:

Blue, just spent nearly three weeks in Tam Vu 2, Hau Giang. Can't get much more 'wife's village' than that. Even met a Finnlander who was living with his Vietnamese wife across the canal in Tam Vu 1.

If your wife's home is a fishing village, perhaps the regulation is left over from the Boat People days when the government was trying to stop people from leaving.

As for the policy itself, I find it still followed in the remote provinces, but not in areas with a heavy tourist practice. In my wife's case, her VN visa suffices to establish her status. You'd think the Hyatt would be attuned to that. We stay in small hotels, and even the Lao Dong guesthouse in District 1, who have always let us room together.

There are still no camera signs around here, ( including the big pillbox/gun emplacement  at one end of the QN bridge ) Twice in one day I was told not to take photo's by the part time policeman, ( 2009, but he said it was ok for my wife to take the same pic's for me???? ) one was where my bro n laws fishing boat was moored, and the other was at the mouth of the estuary, also a Foreign friend of mine was stopped up in the hills recently, he had to take his VN wife to the Cong An HQ here , and do a lot of explaining as to what he was doing up in them thar hills.

herbj wrote:

The Policy of who can Hotel together is governed by the local Government Officials (who have different views) and complied with by the Hotel, which is why there are still no set answers to the question.

Thanks for your response, but I asked about spending time together in your own residence (eg. your apartment), not hotels.

herbj wrote:

If any person stays with you overnight, they must be registered in your House Book which is where the bit I wrote on government officials comes in - it is the same as Hotels.
.

Thanks, that's the info I was looking for.

Is this less of an issue in HCMC than it is elsewhere?

herbj wrote:

An extended family member had sex with her boyfriend after he said he would marry her. He then moved away. The family reported him to Police for having sex outside of marriage but because the Father of the young man was friends with the local Police - no charges were laid.

Whoa, this sounds a bit scary.  So, if you end up having sex with a woman and subsequently piss her off, you could potentially find yourself in trouble with the law?

Scarletvn wrote:

I'll be back tonight and wipe out all of your worries but firstly be calm down!

I'm perfectly calm.  Calmer than you are, dude.

Looking forward to your reply.

DanFromSF wrote:

herbj wrote:

An extended family member had sex with her boyfriend after he said he would marry her. He then moved away. The family reported him to Police for having sex outside of marriage but because the Father of the young man was friends with the local Police - no charges were laid.

Whoa, this sounds a bit scary.  So, if you end up having sex with a woman and subsequently piss her off, you could potentially find yourself in trouble with the law?

It's not because he slept with her.
It's because "he said he would marry her" then he moved away.
You don't think that Southeast Asian girls just easily sleep with you or have relationship then you dump her anytime you feel not want to stay, do you? I don't think most of woman in this world would accept that.
Only girls you can have sex and subsequently piss her off and she agrees without taking any action are ones who have sex with you to get money or something from you. Honestly I must say, if you'd preferred such an easy way, just find some 1 night stand girls or easiest, prostitute. (Not offense)

Scarletvn wrote:

Only girls you can have sex and subsequently piss her off and she agrees without taking any action are ones who have sex with you to get money or something from you. Honestly I must say, if you'd preferred such an easy way, just find some 1 night stand girls or easiest, prostitute. (Not offense)

You say "not offense" quite freqently.  Instead of that, perhaps you should give the person the benefit of the doubt, rather than being so judgemental.  I have never indicated I wish to "preferred such an easy way".  I simply find it odd that the police can get involved in these matters.  This does not happen in my country.

The people on this forum are asking questions because we do not understand certain aspects of your society and culture.  Specifically, it's quite odd to us that the police will ask questions about who we have in our homes.  We live in countries with privacy protections and even if a policeman comes on our property, we can ask them to leave unless they have reasonable grounds for being there.  In the US, our Constitution/Bill of Rights says we do not have to answer their questions.  In other words, if a police comes to my door and asks who is in my house and/or whether we are married, I can tell them to piss off and there is little they can do about it.  Actually, it's a moot point, because it would not happen in the first place.

I know you're trying to be helpful, but your tone is a bit condescending, if not ridiculing.  If you truly want to be helpful, you ought to realize we're not all sexual degenerates whose goal is to bed multiple Vietnamese women, but trying to understand your society so we can fit in better and perhaps see things from your point of view.  I'd suggest you might try to do the same. Thanks.

Scarletvn wrote:

Sorry if I made you feel that!.

Thank you for the apology.  However, it's not necessary, as you didn't make me feel anything.  I have simply read several of your posts that seem to scold us for asking what may seem obvious to you, as well as question our motives.  I appreciate your insights into Vietnamese society and your willingness to share, but a presumption of innocence would be nice as well.