Egyptian marriage fraud

I don’t think you understand, he isn’t going to the military lol he has already been denied and pending a visa! He has had plenty of job offers and it doesn’t matter if the salary isn’t that great , when you have a child coming into this world you must do everything you can to provide from them!

You say don’t over stress him but it’s okay to have his pregnant wife stressed out and having to provide for his child alone! Lol typical

i am sorry for annoying you .... i didn't mean at all to bother .... ...... i don't know about the work offer that he have , and don't know the final decision about his military service ; if he has to do , or if he will be denied .... all what i meant is to tell that maybe there something out of his hand ..

Hello, I hope if there's someone out there who can help me.
I'm a Japanese citizen living in Australia as a permanent resident. I married egyptian husband last year September.  Soon after the marriage, he started taking my money, started pushing me towards sponsoring him to my countries and started hitting me whenever he got angry.. 4 months later, I got sick from unhygienic environments( he is from a poor area) and had to return back to australia.
Soon after returning to australia, he started becoming more and more abusive and started blocking me whenever he got angry though I explained him I don't have enough funds to sponsor him. He said to me that we are over and he wants divorce unless I accept his condition which is that I work ,give him money( including foods, utility, power, everything!) ,do all the house chores( cooking, cleaning, washing etc), look after him and do whatever he says( This include giving visa to him as I know his ways) No way I can accept that!  He still hasn't done the divorce procedure and we are still married, but, he is already looking for ladies (foreigner ladies) saying that it's his life and though he is married, ( He is registered with many many dating sites. He himself admitted that as well. So, I hope anyone who is registered with dating sites and chatting with egyptian male who is 29 from Alexandria to be careful) I told him to not to do that , but, he says that  he isn't living with me now, so , though he is married officially, he is single, hence  he can get any ladies he wants.
I want to file a divorce as soon as possible. I have already contacted lawyers in Egypt and they all recommended me to do the "Khula/Khol'" divorce. They say this is the only way that woman can safely divorce, but, problem is, I have to go to Egypt for the court case. I can't go Egypt due to my safety since he is so violent and he might lock me into the country etc.. Plus, I don't have any money left since he took so much money from me and never gave me back..  I asked advice from the egyptian embassy here, but, they all say that I can't do divorce procedure from here in Australia and I have to hire a lawyer in Egypt..
so, I seek advice from anyone who has knowledge about my case, I don't want to go to Egypt to file a divorce...

I feel for you and I know some Egyptian men can be very persuasive until they get what they want - then they show their true face..... You obviously fell for a skilled manipulator who was looking for a good hearted innocent heart. May Allah make it easy on you. Insha Allah you will get through your experience and emerge a wiser, stronger woman.

I want to add the following. The majority of Egyptian people are kind,  helpful and very hospitable. There is a saying in Egypt " Not all fingers, on one hand, are the same " So my response is only to this one particular type of man all foreign women should be aware of.

If you want my advice. I would do absolutely nothing...and here is why.......
He is most likely in more of a hurry to find another wife than you are to find another husband.
Once he finds a new victim who is prepared to marry him he will have to divorce you because Egyptian law states that a man can not marry a second wife without the first wife knowing.
He can not force you to send him any money or even to acknowledge him. Keep hold of his threats as evidence for your abusive relationship with him. Say the marriage was never consummated, try anything to get your marriage annulled but don't spend another penny. BECAUSE

He will most likely want to get out of Egypt as soon as possible and so he will need to spin a new fairytale to another woman and being married to you is an obstacle. He will, therefore, need to destroy past evidence and get rid of you - wipe his slate clean so to speak. ( You see where your power lies? )

I think right now as all senses are heightened and wounds are fresh it might be better to step back and let all emotions dye down. Be spiritual about everything that will help you to distance yourself. You have been through a lot so lick your wounds.
Just tell him you are pleased he is gone and that you wish him well, don't poor fire into flames, stay silent and wait.

Sadly in time, especially if he is good looking ( which I assume) and speaks English well,  he will find this other poor soul who will fall for him.
If she is a European or American or whatever else the likelihood that he can marry her being married to you are virtually zero. So time and patience are your friends.

My advice for the future: Please protect yourself and stay away from men of a culture you do not fully understand especially if a man is financially unstable - I know it kills many romantic fairytales but you have to use common sense. These men simply tell you what you want to hear and do not care one bit about you. Most uneducated Egyptian men ( and the emphasis is on uneducated) are required to marry an Egyptian wife- end of !!! It's a fact.
There are so many beautiful Egyptian women dying to get married and most uneducated Egyptian men have one goal ..to marry one of them and to have children with her. It's entwined in their culture and it is what gains them respect in their community. It's what their mothers want. These wives will always be Muslim and wear hijab....there is NOOOOOOO way around it.
But unfortunately, these men can not do that because of the economic climate and because of the requirements in Islam. They have to provide money and accommodation for their wives and so some of them use foreign women to get at that money. This is what happened to you.
It is a cruel and harsh reality - but Egypt is a cruel and harsh place and once you understand that you can forgive in time and see it for what it is -  please do never take it personally.
These men can not see you as the human being you are, they were brainwashed and brought up to disrespect you because they come from ignorant backgrounds.
Just as uneducated Muslims believe that women of all other cultures are cheap, we need to understand that Islamic values are sadly sometimes misused.
Some Muslim men simply pretend to be believers and use their religious faith to lure women into trusting them. Sadly it's all just a scam performed by a simple, lost soul trying to survive the only way it knows.
If you can acknowledge what has happened and simply embrace it as a painful lesson learned you are half way to recovery.
Perhaps try to look forward by understanding that this man had and will always have a harder struggle in his future than you will ever have.
After all, he is the one living without conscience and a tainted soul and there is no doubt a lot of darkness around him.
I wish you peace, love, wisdom, and faith. Salam

Thank you for your reply,
You mentioned "try anything to get your marriage annulled", is there any ways to get my marriage annulled?

I suggest you speak to an Australien Citizen advice bureau first. Often you do not have to pay. There might be a voluntary service available. I am not sure if an annulment is an option as I am not a lawyer. But truthfully .... I would not get hung up on a piece of paper - because that is what you are currently doing.  He is gone - Thank god you did not get pregnant or badly harmed or lost more of your precious time with him and simply get on with your life - time will be on your side.

Thank you for your advise. I spoke to the lawyer and he said I can file a divorce through the family court here after one year of separation which will be next year. He contacted me again to reconcile  his proposal of slavery, but, I wouldn't respond to him now that I know what he wants. Thank you  so much for your advise. I'll keep ignoring him and hope he'll do what he needs to do in the future as you said, what he is after is visa in the end.

You are very welcome and I am very happy that I could be of help to you.
Stay strong don't engage with him and focus on friends and family to help you heal.
In time you will look back at this as nothing more than an experience which had to cross your path to shape you into the woman you are meant to become.

I’m so sorry to read about your experience Sandi, it sounds like he might have been using you to furnish an apartment just to move someone else in, possibly a girl from that poor neighbourhood and she could have been in on the scam too.

These people are constantly looking for ways to get money buy hook or crook, he might be selling the furniture for cash. Thank goodness he has been flagged and that you a safe.

Some guy asked me to go to Starbucks but didn’t even have the money to pay for a cup of coffee. Why do these guys think they can get away with this on foreign women but wouldn’t try this with Egyptian girls? I can see right through their lies.

You had to buy all appliances and furniture for your new home? It shows just what a piece of work he was, I just hope he paid for the marriage ceremony.

God Bless You, you deserve the best and one day God will send you the right person, don’t you worry.

This topic is real and will continue happening sadly