I ask anyone who thinks they can give me the right answer to do so.
My husband is Egyptian, I am German. (Same age)
We have known each other for 6 years and got married 3 years ago in Alexandria. His family knows me.
I have sponsored him since I knew him from Dubai and paid for everything because he had no job.
He insists that we live in Egypt one day and expects us to send money to Egypt every month via western Union. I am muslima (converted) and even made a complete name change for him out of love.
Since I finance everything and also give him my money to send, I had told him that I don't want it that way.
We have a little girl and I don't want to move to Egypt anymore because I heard that girls are circumcised there. Now he said I should decide:
Divorce or Egypt + keep sending money.
What is all this? How can it be that I do everything for years and do not see if he takes advantage of me, is serious or does not understand anything?
He comes from a village in Alexandria.
What is there that I don't see and how can he just throw me away like that even though I do everything for him?
He won't give me my money in Egypt either!
Important question to my marriage
I'm sorry to read about your experience Pascha.
In Islam the wife can decide if she wants to give her husband money but actually she does not need to give him one cent, it is at her discretion.
If I was in your situation I would just stop sending money to Egypt and if he is threatning divorce than let him. Don't you worry one bit, he will not divorce you. Only you can make the right decision and with much prayer and patience I know the situation will resolve itself.
I have read about situations like yours all too often. An Egyptian woman would not put up with these kind of demands so why should you?
If I was in your shoes I would stop sending money to Egypt, stop supporting him financially and demand that he supports you and your daughter financially, to step up and be a proper husband and father in the way that is required of him.
You mention that he does not understand but he does understand good and well. The problem is that you are not being respected in the proper Islamic way. Believe me you have the upper hand in all of this.
I would think seriously about moving to Egypt and to be honest i'm worried about you.
God Bless you.
Egypt does NOT practice Islamic shariah 99% of the time if it harms the men! The fact you are paying for everything says he isn't acting honest!!! It's not your duty to support him or his family!
Do not move there with your daughter! My granddaughter was taken from US by her father & her mom hasn't been allowed to see her in 17 yrs!!!
Ansar just turned 18 n is trying to return to her mom but the Yousif family has hidden or destroyed her American documents and she is still unable to leave!
Her father never paid Mahr even though it was small payments! Your bank account can be taken by your husband in Egypt too without your permission!!! You are not protected By their courts as a Muslimah. To Egyptians you are a trophy n a free bank acccount to be used and abused! May Allah punish them for their neglect & abuse to muslim shahadahs & May true Islam finally be practiced!
I agree with you 100%! He knows he is violating Shariah law and if anything he wants to use their daughter as leverage by taking her into Egypt where she can be taken and hidden from her mom ; as has happened to others.
She needs to safeguard her daughter in her home country too so he can't take the daughter out of country so coercion isn't used to force continued financial support.
I would bet his family doesn't know it's been HER money supporting them! Tell them that! Also let them know from now on HE has to send support; not her & he has threatened her with divorce because it's her money!
He has no right to even ask for it!!! So make his threat public to his family& the mosque! Make sure all the resources are kept in separate name … hers or his but no longer shared!
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