33 years living as an expatriate

Me and my wife both were born, raised and educated in The Netherlands and we left our home country in 1982 in search for some adventure. Back then we intended to return within a few years, but indeed never did! We immigrated to South Africa where our first daughter was born in Kempton Park. In 1986 I joined an American Multinational Petrochemical company and started a 28 year International career. We were posted in Italy, The Netherlands, Germany, USA, Kuwait and lately in Saudi Arabia. The youngest daughter was born in The Netherlands to move to Germany when she was only 2 months old.  In my first book ‘International Roaming' I have captured this peripatetic family life.
While living and working in the Middle East, we bought a penthouse in Tala, Paphos in 2005 and have visited Cyprus for vacations each year ever since.
I did retire from work in March 2015 and we moved into our home in Tala. We intend to travel and are planning to explore Asia as we are about to embark on a container ship, which will take us to Kuala Lumpur.

KL is fantastic - you're going to love it.

We have been on vacation in KL and we like it. It seems to have a big expat community which we like to socialize with.
Anyone any suggestions / contacts?

Franklucas wrote:

We have been on vacation in KL and we like it. It seems to have a big expat community which we like to socialize with.
Anyone any suggestions / contacts?


Yes - don't.

Get to know the locals, the cultures, anything but the expats.
The place is a goldmine of wonders, especially if you like history.

Hi Franklucas and welcome on board !

I've moved your intro to our Kuala Lumpur forum

All the best,

Julien

Fred - when were you last in KL? Or Malaysia?

Fred wrote:
Franklucas wrote:

We have been on vacation in KL and we like it. It seems to have a big expat community which we like to socialize with.
Anyone any suggestions / contacts?


Yes - don't.

Get to know the locals, the cultures, anything but the expats.
The place is a goldmine of wonders, especially if you like history.


I agree. Why go across the world to look for expats? I never understood this. Its almost 16 years for me in Malaysia and in all that time I only briefly knew one expat who was from Europe. I knew locals from the start and and local relationships grew from there. Expats coming, and looking for other expats....well....why?

Im grateful to the many scores of Malaysians ive known who have profoundly affected my life, no matter how good or how bad they were. Not only Malaysians from all corners but also Thais, Indonesians, Viets, Singaporeans, Chinese and the rest. Its been a wild ride. I dont know what my life would be life if I only hung around expats and returned home one day with comparatively few or even no memories in some cases.

So, "im an expat looking for other expats" is something i just dont get. Is there a fear of the unknown? A safety in numbers thing? Need for familiarity? Laziness? What?

Thanks

Gravitas wrote:

Fred - when were you last in KL? Or Malaysia?


Sadly, eight years.
I say it in that way because it's a wonderful country, one I've had many happy times in.
Although I was only there for a total of six months, supposed to be as a tourist, I learnt a lot and, as was said by cvco, the interactions affected my life in a massive way, even to the point of getting married there.
The first trip saw me in expat/tourist hangouts for the first week - a total waste of time.
The rest of the time saw me finding out about the place - anything but a waste of time.
Malaysia is fantastic - expats and/or tourists should avoid each other as if they all had the plague, going out of their way to get explore to the real Malaysia.
There's a whole group of cultures out there, just waiting for you to open your eyes and see them.
Don't go to the tourist/expat type restaurants, go to the local places. They're a lot cheaper and the food is generally far better.

My advice - buy a copy of lonely planet and avoid almost everything mentioned in it.

Mingling with the locals is always a great to get to know the place. Hanging out with other expats brings the risk of living in a bubble indeed.
I need to find the right balance.
But do have to make a choice between living only with locals and living only with expats??

Most social contact is developed through women, so it will be important for your wife to join in the women's club activities and establish some contacts that way. These groups also take part in the various charity and volunteering activities which are so important for the poor and refugees living in Malaysia. A lot will depend where you decide to live what is easily available. The largest "western" expat communities living alongside more wealthy Malaysians remain in KLCC/Golden Triangle, Ampang, Ukay Heights area, Mont Kiara, parts of Damansara, Bangsar, Bukit Gita Bayu, and of course Penang. Usually its schooling that leads the development. The number of third age expats is quite low, but there are some very senior employees mainly in the O&G industry and their adult families around. Generally speaking the expat crowd is very young in age.