You know when you have been in the ME too long

Just for a change I'm awake in the middle of the night so thought I'd share ... although it has probably been here before at some point it's still a good one ...


I know that I've been in the Middle East Too Long because…………………

    I'm not surprised by unannounced road-closures anymore.
    I'm not surprised to see a goat in the passenger seat
    I think the uncut version of 'Little House on the Prairie' is provocative
    I think every one's first name is Al
    I need a sweater when it's 40 degrees Celsius
    I expect everyone to own a mobile phone
    My idea of housework is leaving a list for the maid
    I believe that speed limits are only advisory
    I know whether I am within missile range of Iraq
    I believe that the definition of a nanosecond is the time interval between the time the light turns green and the time that the guy behind me begins to beep his horn
    I can't buy anything without asking for a discount
    I expect all stores to stay open till midnight
    I understand that 'wadi bashing' isn't a criminal act
    My driver makes left turns from the far right lane & I view this as normal
    I send friends a map instead of my address
    I understand why huge 4x4s must slow down to a snail's pace whilst crossing a speed bump yet hurtle through a wadi at 100kph
    I think it perfectly normal to have a picnic in the middle of a round-about at 11pm

    I know exactly how much alcohol allowance I have left for the month - NONE as this is Haram
    I have a moon phase predictor on my computer
    I never say Saturday instead of Friday or Sunday instead of Saturday anymore
    I accept that there is no point in asking why I am not allowed to do something
    I expect queues to be 1 person deep and 40 people wide
    I realise that the black and white stripes in the road are not a zebra crossing, just bait to get foreigners and newcomers into the firing line
    Seeing guys welcome each other with a kiss and hold hands while walking no longer distracts me
    I carry 12 passport size photos around with me just in case
    I can tell the time by listening to the local mosque
    I think it's a good night if there are fewer than 10 women for every man at Salsa class
    Phrases like 'potato peeler', 'dish washer', 'coffee maker' and 'fly swatter' are no longer household items but are actually job titles
    I start to say 'Insha'allah' when I actually mean 'No f*****g chance!'
    Habibi isn't just the ex-president of Indonesia
    My driver overtakes a police car at 130KM
    Problem with the car I am travelling ins AC or horn is more serious to me than a problem with the brakes!

u deserve a degree in Gulfology (with majors in Saudiology) :)

I had never seen that list before :lol:  Thanks, Louise!  It rings true on every point--I esp. liked the one about the picnic in the round-about at 11PM !

looooooooooooool...hilarious...did u write it?

Respect!:thanks::thanks::thanks:
:top:

Just one to add the list.. The word "Soon" is just an expression, it can mean anywhere from a year to as long as you stay in the country.

lol...RedGoblin...you can come back bookra

imraan007 wrote:

looooooooooooool...hilarious...did u write it?

No someone sent it to me ages ago and just happened upon it last night again :)

this is a classic...definitely gonna keep this one

Hi Louise.Welge, i loved your post and here is some common by different point of view
Hope we all share our different view's so we may find some solutions or create expat's society.   

I'm not surprised by unannounced road-closures anymore.(Money earn this way)
I'm not surprised to see a goat in the passenger seat (different place different animal)
    I think every one's first name is Al ( it is same like VAN in Dutch)
My idea of housework is leaving a list for the maid (that is true)
I believe that speed limits are only advisory (you been too long here I believe)
I know whether I am within missile range of Iraq (sure you are)
the guy behind me begins to beep his horn (same feeling)
I can't buy anything without asking for a discount (Chinese globalization price)
I understand that 'wadi bashing' isn't a criminal act (for Bedouins no for sure)
My driver makes left turns from the far right lane & I view this as normal (they learned drive here please don't judge them)
I send friends a map instead of my address (and you have to call with map)
I understand why huge 4x4s must slow down to a snail's pace whilst crossing a speed bump yet hurtle through a wadi at 100kph
I think it perfectly normal to have a picnic in the middle of a round-about at 11pm ( I can't drive till now so no answer)
I know exactly how much alcohol allowance I have left for the month - NONE as this is Haram
I have a moon phase predictor on my computer (that is good because then you will be younger)
I never say Saturday instead of Friday or Sunday instead of Saturday anymore (Tenth of a people of whom became)
    I accept that there is no point in asking why I am not allowed to do something (disagree)
    I expect queues to be 1 person deep and 40 people wide (rich Arab believes – agree)
    I realise that the black and white stripes in the road are not a zebra crossing, just bait to get foreigners and newcomers into the firing line ()
Seeing guys welcome each other with a kiss and hold hands while walking no longer distracts me (italyain style for kissing – hold hand hell no)
I carry 12 passport size photos around with me just in case (still P Not E gov)
I can tell the time by listening to the local mosque (good so you have the Arab Physiognomy)
I think it's a good night if there are fewer than 10 women for every man at Salsa class (worldwide issue woman more than men)
Phrases like 'potato peeler', 'dish washer', 'coffee maker' and 'fly swatter' are no longer household items but are actually job titles (lol I am the man in Saudi so no answer )
I start to say 'Insha'allah' when I actually mean 'No f*****g chance!' (true, but the real meaning is - if Allah want)
Habibi isn't just the ex-president of Indonesia (Expression of courtesy)like (Habib Hearty)

Where is salsa class?

I expect queues to be 1 person deep and 40 people wide

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA! nice one really :D

Bizzle wrote:

Where is salsa class?

:offtopic:  :offtopic:  :offtopic:  :offtopic:

Ackeles wrote:

I expect queues to be 1 person deep and 40 people wide

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA! nice one really :D

Yes, that IS a good one :lol:

shazali wrote:

Hi Louise.Welge, i loved your post and here is some common by different point of view
Hope we all share our different view's so we may find some solutions or create expat's society.   

I'm not surprised by unannounced road-closures anymore.(Money earn this way)
I'm not surprised to see a goat in the passenger seat (different place different animal)
    I think every one's first name is Al ( it is same like VAN in Dutch)
My idea of housework is leaving a list for the maid (that is true)
I believe that speed limits are only advisory (you been too long here I believe)
I know whether I am within missile range of Iraq (sure you are)
the guy behind me begins to beep his horn (same feeling)
I can't buy anything without asking for a discount (Chinese globalization price)
I understand that 'wadi bashing' isn't a criminal act (for Bedouins no for sure)
My driver makes left turns from the far right lane & I view this as normal (they learned drive here please don't judge them)
I send friends a map instead of my address (and you have to call with map)
I understand why huge 4x4s must slow down to a snail's pace whilst crossing a speed bump yet hurtle through a wadi at 100kph
I think it perfectly normal to have a picnic in the middle of a round-about at 11pm ( I can't drive till now so no answer)
I know exactly how much alcohol allowance I have left for the month - NONE as this is Haram
I have a moon phase predictor on my computer (that is good because then you will be younger)
I never say Saturday instead of Friday or Sunday instead of Saturday anymore (Tenth of a people of whom became)
    I accept that there is no point in asking why I am not allowed to do something (disagree)
    I expect queues to be 1 person deep and 40 people wide (rich Arab believes – agree)
    I realise that the black and white stripes in the road are not a zebra crossing, just bait to get foreigners and newcomers into the firing line ()
Seeing guys welcome each other with a kiss and hold hands while walking no longer distracts me (italyain style for kissing – hold hand hell no)
I carry 12 passport size photos around with me just in case (still P Not E gov)
I can tell the time by listening to the local mosque (good so you have the Arab Physiognomy)
I think it's a good night if there are fewer than 10 women for every man at Salsa class (worldwide issue woman more than men)
Phrases like 'potato peeler', 'dish washer', 'coffee maker' and 'fly swatter' are no longer household items but are actually job titles (lol I am the man in Saudi so no answer )
I start to say 'Insha'allah' when I actually mean 'No f*****g chance!' (true, but the real meaning is - if Allah want)
Habibi isn't just the ex-president of Indonesia (Expression of courtesy)like (Habib Hearty)

:/ You seem quite serious, it's meant as a joke but correct away - whatever blows your hair back ...

You seem quite serious, it's meant as a joke but correct away - whatever blows your hair back ...

Hi Louise.Welge, i loved your post and here is some common by different point of view
Hope we all share our different view's so we may find some solutions or create expat's society.

ok
:unsure

shazali wrote:

Hi Louise.Welge, i loved your post and here is some common by different point of view
Hope we all share our different view's so we may find some solutions or create expat's society.   

I'm not surprised by unannounced road-closures anymore.(Money earn this way)
I'm not surprised to see a goat in the passenger seat (different place different animal)
    I think every one's first name is Al ( it is same like VAN in Dutch)
My idea of housework is leaving a list for the maid (that is true)
I believe that speed limits are only advisory (you been too long here I believe)
I know whether I am within missile range of Iraq (sure you are)
the guy behind me begins to beep his horn (same feeling)
I can't buy anything without asking for a discount (Chinese globalization price)
I understand that 'wadi bashing' isn't a criminal act (for Bedouins no for sure)
My driver makes left turns from the far right lane & I view this as normal (they learned drive here please don't judge them)
I send friends a map instead of my address (and you have to call with map)
I understand why huge 4x4s must slow down to a snail's pace whilst crossing a speed bump yet hurtle through a wadi at 100kph
I think it perfectly normal to have a picnic in the middle of a round-about at 11pm ( I can't drive till now so no answer)
I know exactly how much alcohol allowance I have left for the month - NONE as this is Haram
I have a moon phase predictor on my computer (that is good because then you will be younger)
I never say Saturday instead of Friday or Sunday instead of Saturday anymore (Tenth of a people of whom became)
    I accept that there is no point in asking why I am not allowed to do something (disagree)
    I expect queues to be 1 person deep and 40 people wide (rich Arab believes – agree)
    I realise that the black and white stripes in the road are not a zebra crossing, just bait to get foreigners and newcomers into the firing line ()
Seeing guys welcome each other with a kiss and hold hands while walking no longer distracts me (italyain style for kissing – hold hand hell no)
I carry 12 passport size photos around with me just in case (still P Not E gov)
I can tell the time by listening to the local mosque (good so you have the Arab Physiognomy)
I think it's a good night if there are fewer than 10 women for every man at Salsa class (worldwide issue woman more than men)
Phrases like 'potato peeler', 'dish washer', 'coffee maker' and 'fly swatter' are no longer household items but are actually job titles (lol I am the man in Saudi so no answer )
I start to say 'Insha'allah' when I actually mean 'No f*****g chance!' (true, but the real meaning is - if Allah want)
Habibi isn't just the ex-president of Indonesia (Expression of courtesy)like (Habib Hearty)

I think when Italian guys kiss, it's only one kiss on one cheek. lol...The passport photos comment is just hilarious!! I was thinking about that the other day, so I started carrying them around.

Louise.Welge wrote:

ok
:unsure

Gotta LOVE the graphics!!

:lol:

A picture is a thousand words ... :D

Fantastic, thanks for a much needed 'Friday' O, sorry Sunday afternoon laugh ;)

I think when Italian guys kiss, it's only one kiss on one cheek. lol...The passport photos comment is just hilarious!! I was thinking about that the other day, so I started carrying them around.

kisses: Italian one on cheek, French three on tow cheeks, Saudi till you ask him please Stop.
i remember Canadian guy forget his passport and pass the boarder to state with passport photo in his Ipad.

Louise.Welge wrote:

Just for a change I'm awake in the middle of the night so thought I'd share ... although it has probably been here before at some point it's still a good one ...


I know that I've been in the Middle East Too Long because…………………

    I'm not surprised by unannounced road-closures anymore.
    I'm not surprised to see a goat in the passenger seat
    I think the uncut version of 'Little House on the Prairie' is provocative
    I think every one's first name is Al
    I need a sweater when it's 40 degrees Celsius
    I expect everyone to own a mobile phone
    My idea of housework is leaving a list for the maid
    I believe that speed limits are only advisory
    I know whether I am within missile range of Iraq
    I believe that the definition of a nanosecond is the time interval between the time the light turns green and the time that the guy behind me begins to beep his horn
    I can't buy anything without asking for a discount
    I expect all stores to stay open till midnight
    I understand that 'wadi bashing' isn't a criminal act
    My driver makes left turns from the far right lane & I view this as normal
    I send friends a map instead of my address
    I understand why huge 4x4s must slow down to a snail's pace whilst crossing a speed bump yet hurtle through a wadi at 100kph
    I think it perfectly normal to have a picnic in the middle of a round-about at 11pm

    I know exactly how much alcohol allowance I have left for the month - NONE as this is Haram
    I have a moon phase predictor on my computer
    I never say Saturday instead of Friday or Sunday instead of Saturday anymore
    I accept that there is no point in asking why I am not allowed to do something
    I expect queues to be 1 person deep and 40 people wide
    I realise that the black and white stripes in the road are not a zebra crossing, just bait to get foreigners and newcomers into the firing line
    Seeing guys welcome each other with a kiss and hold hands while walking no longer distracts me
    I carry 12 passport size photos around with me just in case
    I can tell the time by listening to the local mosque
    I think it's a good night if there are fewer than 10 women for every man at Salsa class
    Phrases like 'potato peeler', 'dish washer', 'coffee maker' and 'fly swatter' are no longer household items but are actually job titles
    I start to say 'Insha'allah' when I actually mean 'No f*****g chance!'
    Habibi isn't just the ex-president of Indonesia
    My driver overtakes a police car at 130KM
    Problem with the car I am travelling ins AC or horn is more serious to me than a problem with the brakes!

hahahaha Super Awesome! great job in the middle of the night.

hi louise
i like your article

this is only found in the middle of night when u cant sleep

Ssuperman wrote:

hahahaha Super Awesome! great job in the middle of the night.

Gotta do something productive with my time right :D

I super like this! Good job Louise! I specially love the part about "Inshaallah's." :D

OMG, I've only been here a month and I understand everything on the list. How bad is that?  This is great.

Eldon

[email protected] ur here too long. Just kidding. I guess we adapt real quick

imraan007 wrote:

[email protected] ur here too long. Just kidding. I guess we adapt real quick

how quick is quick?????

depends on the adaptability of each person...some cannot adapt in Saudi at all.

imraan007 wrote:

depends on the adaptability of each person...some cannot adapt in Saudi at all.

if they cannot adapt cuz they complain too much

guess so
some1 told me once that the richest man in the world is satisfied with what ever he has.
less complaints will definitely help. less criticism.
i also feel that no man/ women is superior to another. we can be superior by our kind gestures and fair dealing with others. and we can become inferior by our criminal acts and bad character. in these days we are at war with each other each one with a feeling that "I am better than you", if we could only try to understand each other with open minds, i think we can solve a lot.

Thanks Louise for posting this list.

It is really hilarious, and very true at the same time.

By the way, in Turkey guys welcome each other with a kiss on both cheeks, but not holding hands for sure.

I've gotten used to the hand holding but when the guys here hold pinkie fingers?  :blink:

Gotta admit, that freaks me out!

Saudis are very affectionate. :rolleyes:

lol...u know the first time i came to saudi and a guy very comfortably placed his hand in mine. i got a shock of my life, pulled my hand out sooooo quick, made sure no one was looking and asked the guy: what ru doing?
wow i was so angry...now i understand this gesture a bit better and dont mind it, i also tried the more advanced techniques like swinging ur hands while holding hands. but still did not try the pinky one. that one maybe to advanced for me, even the nose kissing, i just cant cant do it.

imraan007 wrote:

lol...u know the first time i came to saudi and a guy very comfortably placed his hand in mine. i got a shock of my life, pulled my hand out sooooo quick, made sure no one was looking and asked the guy: what ru doing?
wow i was so angry...now i understand this gesture a bit better and dont mind it, i also tried the more advanced techniques like swinging ur hands while holding hands. but still did not try the pinky one. that one maybe to advanced for me, even the nose kissing, i just cant cant do it.

:|

you held hands with a guy?! :|

seriously? :huh:

:blink:

:lol:

its a saudi tradition, it is a gesture that means he is trying to be friendly. i think ur arab and this custom exists in ur community as well...tell me u dont know that? or ru just trying to be funny. if ur implying something mr CNN just say it.
in my country it is mainly used among the homosexual community.
if the intention is good, its ok with me, but if the guy wants to get fresh, he is gonna get a blue eye :p .

imraan007 wrote:

lol...u know the first time i came to saudi and a guy very comfortably placed his hand in mine. i got a shock of my life, pulled my hand out sooooo quick, made sure no one was looking and asked the guy: what ru doing?
wow i was so angry...now i understand this gesture a bit better and dont mind it, i also tried the more advanced techniques like swinging ur hands while holding hands. but still did not try the pinky one. that one maybe to advanced for me, even the nose kissing, i just cant cant do it.

Wait a min.  You're a GUY???  Why did I think you were a woman ????????  I think Ackeles is confused, too.

Alliecat wrote:
imraan007 wrote:

lol...u know the first time i came to saudi and a guy very comfortably placed his hand in mine. i got a shock of my life, pulled my hand out sooooo quick, made sure no one was looking and asked the guy: what ru doing?
wow i was so angry...now i understand this gesture a bit better and dont mind it, i also tried the more advanced techniques like swinging ur hands while holding hands. but still did not try the pinky one. that one maybe to advanced for me, even the nose kissing, i just cant cant do it.

Wait a min.  You're a GUY???  Why did I think you were a woman ????????  I think Ackeles is confused, too.

3imran is a guy's name. :) Guys can love cats too. :rolleyes:

imraan007 wrote:

its a saudi tradition, it is a gesture that means he is trying to be friendly. i think ur arab and this custom exists in ur community as well...tell me u dont know that? or ru just trying to be funny. if ur implying something mr CNN just say it.
in my country it is mainly used among the homosexual community.
if the intention is good, its ok with me, but if the guy wants to get fresh, he is gonna get a blue eye :p .

hmm..

Mr CNN? :/

i was trying to be funny yah .. :)

but still even if im arab .. i find it so gay to hold my hand with a guy i barley know ..

:D so my friend imraan .. be careful lol!

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