Nannyless life in Amman

Hello,
I have been an expat for a long time (with and without children) in several countries.  I am struggling because I fundamentally disagree with having nannies and domestic staff around my children.  Not even part-time housekeepers.  I find most expats lie anyway about how much childcare their "cleaner" does which is not their role.  I miss my friends back in my home country because of the simplicity of their lives even with the stress of having to do everything themselves (they still seem happier than the average expat).  Also I know when we arrange a playdate or when they make time for me and my kids it actually means something, they are taking time out of their busy lives for me with no one at home to cook dinner and letting everything go because life it too short and friendships are important.  Whilst in expat land if I go to a playdate at someone's house there is either a nanny or housekeeper floating around or I know it's no skin off their nose if I'm there or not as things get done anyway.  I  know these are harsh sentiments but I struggle everyday to keep my children grounded.  My eldest son doesn't want to go to play dates unless he's sure it's going to be reciprocal but I'm tiered with expat conversations like "you must come over for a play date because I have a sandpit/swimming pool/garden...." how about  "because our children are best friends".  Is it just time to go home?  Also this feeling has not been unique to my time in Amman but also other countries, it seems once domestic help is cheap enough people go crazy with it.