Advice!! Explaining your move to Bahrain (or M.E.) to family

Hello happytru and welcome to Expat.com!

Have you gone through the different posts of the forum?

They may contain some ideas about everyday life which will be helpful to you.

I hope that other members will share their experience with you soon, and that your family will understand you.

All the best,
Harmonie.

Hi Happytru and welcome to the forum,

Like Harmony said you'll find a lot of answers just browsing the posts of the last months. If you have any more precise question feel free to come back here we'll try to help you as much as we can.
Just a little warning though, as far as I know (maybe some other members can confirm) it's not allowed by the law for a female worker to bring her family on her visa. A man could do that but not a woman
I think there are 2 exceptions : nurses & teachers, so it seems you might be on the safe side, but make sure you won't face any trouble.

For the rest, people who see the ME like a threatening place should just have a walk in any local market in Bahrain, they would be extremely surprised to notice how people are nice and open minded here. I wish I could say the same with all the expats ! :p

have a nice visit in the forum and let us know your questions !

Friendly yours

Olivier

Hi happytru, as a fellow newbie, welcome to the site

...this might be a bit of a long-winded post, you have been warned:D

My partner(girlfriend) is taking up a position lecturing in a college in Bahrain and when we told our respective families, the reactions were mixed.  Shock tinged with a distinct sense of loss, that was how I read my parents' reaction.  My partner's family's reaction was one of a sense of inevitability and resignation, and both had to be dealt with differently.

My dad is what I call a silver surfer, too capable of digging up information on the internet and finding channels on TV from which he gathers information and puts together very compelling arguments based on his dissection, assimilation and delivery of this information.  Thankfully, we have our own sources of info in our friends on the ground in Bahrain.  I was in Bahrain in March, at the beginning of the unrest and for 4 weeks until April 4th, and I was able to inform my family that I was fine and that my safety never once felt like it was at risk.  They were nervous, naturally, but when I came back safe and sound they were reassured.  Then in May, my partner was offered a job and we had already decided that if one of us got a job, we'd both go.  The obstacle for me is that I'm not married so I have to go on a visitor's visa for starters and hope to find my own job when I get there...

...I digress...

...telling them that we were going over for good was a different thing.  My dad has been having a harder time dealing with it than my mother but I think that's because she's made of sterner stuff   This is not the first time that I have emigrated, although the first time was in 1993 and it was just from Ireland to England, Bahrain is a bigger leap to take and my parents aren't getting any younger, they're both 70.  My approach to them was to be honest, telling them that I had been there for both the best(Formula 1, March 2010) and worst(Civil unrest, March 2011) that Bahrain had to offer and that I never changed my mind about the country, wonderful people with a very rich heritage and culture that I have only begun to explore.  I told them that Bahrain reminded me of Ireland in the late '70's or early '80's, full of friendly people, very safe with virtually no crime rate to speak of and a strong mutual respect between them and me.  They took this on board, my mother more trusting than my father, who suspected that I was trying to play it down so as to protect them.  Lately they have been showing a lot more interest in coming to Bahrain to visit as they warm to the idea that the country is as I have described it to them, I consider that to be major progress.

My Partner's family were different in that they took it a lot better, they were more accepting of it and can see it more for the opportunity that it is than the loss of a family member to emigration.  The perceived dangers in moving to Bahrain were eased by the conversations we had and subsequently we feel better about leaving now than we did at first.  They have accepted it easier than my family, but obviously still feel sad that we're leaving.

My advice would be to tell them that there is no risk to you in Bahrain, that as long as you keep out of trouble, western expats are safer than safe.  The situation over there is tense in some areas but you won't(hopefully) be exposed to those places and the associated trouble.  Things do seem to be under control in terms of safety.  It's nothing like notable anti-western countries, on the contrary, Bahrain is the most welcoming country I've ever had the pleasure of visiting.  I haven't heard of any westerner recently being blown up, kidnapped, generally treated like slave, degraded for being female, or any other types of ill-treatment, and believe me, I've done my homework and been to Bahrain three times, twice with my partner and she's more than happy to move to Bahrain as the opportunities are far better than anything she could expect in Ireland.  To my knowledge there is a very large American contingent in Bahrain in both the Naval base and in industry, and that should make it a lot easier to integrate.  The best way to let your family know that things are good, easy and that you're happy in Bahrain is to have them over for a visit.

I hope that helps clear up any myths that may have your relatives tied up in knots:)  If I can be of any help, let me know, I'm shipping out on September 7th.

Hag;)

Hi Hag,

Great feedback, thank you for sharing.

Cheers

My pleasure Olivier, with your helpful posts, I figured it was only fair that I post something on a subject that I'm familiar with...even if I am a bit wordy:D

Thanks Hag for the info! your words described my family to a T! It definitely will get better :-)

I thought I'd update this thread because I've now been through the process of leaving and saying the good-byes and so on.  I can't say that it was easy, in fact it was much harder than I thought it'd be.  I've always considered myself to be emotionally resilient and strong, but I have to say it was a very hard thing to say goodbye to my parents, they were very very upset, and so was I.  I shamelessly and openly cried a lot on the flight from Cork to Heathrow but once I got that far I pulled myself together and started thinking about the good stuff about leaving to start a new life in Bahrain.  My partner has been amazing during all of this, it was as if we were taking turns in supporting eachother, with her leaving a week before me and going through the emotional roller-coaster first and I was being strong and empathetic towards her, then, from all those miles away from Ireland, on her own in Bahrain, she was empathetic and supportive to me and without that I'd be an emotional wreck.  One thing we've both discussed at length was leaving Ireland without one-another and the conclusion we both came to was that neither of us could come here to Bahrain without the other...emotionally it would just be too hard.  even the last week apart was hard on us both but I think that comes from a number of things.  We love eachother completely, we're used to being in eachother's company a lot of the time, we're used to being able to sit and talk about everything from cooking to Formula 1 and have grown accustomed to having eachother there pretty much all the time.  It's great to be back together again!

I guess the reason I'm writing this is to give my side of how it makes a person feel when leaving, it's all well and good to work on the logistics and on reassuring your family that all is well with going and that you'll be safe, however it's a different thing altogether when the time comes to actually head to the airport, so be mindful of the fact that, though you may be well prepared to go, your family may not be well prepared for your departure and seeing my mother and father watching me walk to the doors of the airport was gut-wrenchingly sad.  It's only natural, but that doesn't make it any easier.

On a more positive note, I arrived in Bahrain last night and was thrilled to be greeted by my partner and a good friend who's lived here for a year now.  All the sorrow and fears about leaving just evaporated when I saw my partner smiling at me from the crowd milling around the arrivals hall.  I am now safely ensconced in Juffair and am really looking forward to living again, it's great to be here and I'm hoping everything works out well for us, and for everybody else who comes here for opportunities.