How can you avoid the stress when you move abroad?

Hi Rachel,

Surprising as it may sound, many people who expatriate aren't even as prepared as you mentioned. Sadly, many seem to treat it like it's no different than moving across town to a new home.

There are so many different things that one must consider in order to make a successful adaptation to living in a new country that it is truly a daunting task at the best of times. Many people think that arranging a job, visa and accommodations is the extent of it, then once they arrive reality sets in and now they find themselves in a sink or swim situation.

Things to consider, plan and do before the move:

1.  If moving to a country where your native language is not spoken, you should learn as much of the new language as possible before you make the move. It will not only help you in the workplace and day-to-day living situations, but it could also save your life. Imagine becoming seriously ill or having an accident, going to an Emergency Hospital and not being able to communicate with the medical staff? Major problem!!!

2.  Learn as much as possible about the culture of the country too. This will not only help prepare you for what you're going to find when you arrive, but it will also help you adapt more easily and even understand the language a bit better too. Just as in English where we have several correct ways to say something, why do we say it one way and not another. Many times the way we say it is influenced by nothing else than our culture, or just because that's how everybody else says it.

3.  Find out about the infrastructure and public services in your new country. In North America, the UK, Europe, and many other developed nations we have infrastructure and public services that actually work!!! We are actually quite spoiled in this sense and most of these things we never give a second thought to, simply because they always work or they're always there. It is NOT that way in most developing nations. Don't make comparisons, that's just going to drive you crazy and you'll be wanting to head back home on the first flight out if you do. Many countries experience frequent electrical outages and brownouts, some countries have extremely poor communications systems. Others may have completely inadequate basic sanitation systems. You have to be able to take that in stride and find ways to work around it.

4.  Governmental institutions and bureaucracy is another real consideration. In many nations there is a mind boggling mountain of bureaucracy in everything that you need to do. Some countries (like here in Brazil) have turned bureaucracy into a SCIENCE. You have to have forms in triplicate and all of them notarized for every little thing you want to do from opening a bank account to making any major purchases. If you are not by nature a patient person, you should get some help with that and try building your patience level before you arrive in the new country.

5.  Tax laws, treaties and tax implications should be fully understood. This is especially true for US citizens, you are going to have to continue filing your annual 1040 no matter where you live, unless you renounce your citizenship which is a very costly move indeed. You are also going to find that with the advent of FATCA (Foreign Account Tax Compliance Act) and FBAR (Foreign Bank Account Reporting) you will have to report everything in your accounts, if you aren't turned down flat when you try to open an account. Many banks now simply won't open accounts for US citizens, just to avoid the hassle.

    You have to check if there is an existing bi-lateral tax treaty between your home country and your new home. If not you should seek out professional help when it comes time to prepare your taxes, since you may find you haven't a lot of protection from double taxation. The rule of thumb is whatever income you earned (or continue to earn) in your home country is taxed there, what you earn in your new country is taxed there. You may also find that you are required to report your "world income" at home too. This is true in Canada and the USA. You must report your foreign income to both the IRS and to the Canada Revenue Agency, so don't forget that.

6.  Gain a basic understanding of the country's criminal and civil laws. When abroad, unless you're a diplomat and have immunity, you are subject to the laws of whatever country you may be in. Not knowing the law is never a legal defense when things go wrong. The laws may be substantially different that those you're used to. Remember too that your Embassy or Consulate can only do so much for you if you run afoul of the justice system. They can help you to find a lawyer who will represent you and they'll come visit to make sure you're being treated in a humane manner, but they DO NOT pay any of your costs. Only in special cases will they attempt to arrange for a convicted citizen to be repatriated to serve out their sentences in their homeland. If you use recreational drugs, make sure you know the country's drug laws inside out. Some countries have the death penalty for drug smuggling and have no reservations about executing foreign nationals.

7.  Labor laws are always something that you should consider too. If you're going to work in a foreign country you need to know exactly what your rights and responsibilities are. One thing you need to find out is whether or not an employer retaining a foreign employee's passport is LEGAL. In many countries even though it is ILLEGAL it still is common practice, employees often end up being blackmailed, intimidated and held as virtual hostages, because they've foolishly turned over their passport to an employer. Remember your passport belongs (first and foremost) to the nation that issued it. The passport holder really only has "secondary" ownership of the document. If an employer demands you turn over your passport contact your Embassy/Consulate and report this BEFORE you turn over the document.

8.  Education systems and educational opportunity is especially important to young people and couples with children; check them out carefully before you travel.  Homeschooling - remember that in some countries homeschooling is ILLEGAL, in others while not illegal the bureaucracy makes it virtually impossible, yet in others homeschooling is legal, but one must have a teaching certificate. Don't just assume that since you're an expat that the laws surrounding schooling your children don't apply to you. If you are in a country as anything other than a tourist then you certainly are subject to all the local laws regarding schooling your children. To be safe, if you're not happy with the local school system NOTHING prevents you from homeschooling IN ADDITION to your children taking regular classes. You just can't homeschool them INSTEAD of regular classes.

9.  Banking institutions, regulations and currency controls are another concern. You should find out things like, whether or not you can even open an account in your new country, the bureaucracy involved. You need to find out how to transfer money back home, if it is even possible and how to go about doing so. You will also need to find out where you can make withdrawals from you home bank at ATMs and if your debit card is valid for point of sale transactions in the new country. In some countries while you can make international ATM transactions you can't make debit purchases.

10.  Religious laws that may effect your daily life in the new country are important considerations too. Some nations have strict dress codes, prohibitions on consuming alcohol, prohibit women from driving, or even venturing out on the street unaccompanied and without permission of their father/guardian.

The list goes on and on, this is just the tip of the iceberg. So remember one very important old saying when you start planning to expatriate....

"PEOPLE DON'T PLAN TO FAIL, THEY JUST FAIL TO PLAN."

Cheers,
James     Expat-blog Experts Team

Abrigada James!!!!

Interesting to read!
A lot of what you mention regards paperwork, such as learning different laws, education systems, bureaucracy, and such.
That's indeed very true and very important!!! I agree! And you are indeed an expert!

My goal is to support the newcomer expat to feel ''at ease'' in their NEW country. The amount of stress and  overwhelm that comes onto ones shoulders can be big, especially when not knowing anybody!
But with practice, I learned to make priorities and action plans in the right order, step by step.
Also, learn to talk to the ''right'' people and avoid being entirely confused.

So, your first points matter a lot in my support: the language and the culture.
With speaking some basic important words, you get so much more respect and you can get around on a daily basis (taxi, transport, groceries, etc...). I love languages and help many people with basic conversations.
Also, languages means ''translations'' as you receive many letters in your mail, but which are important and which not.
And then the culture: how to talk or address someone, greet someone, invite someone, etc...

So, I hope to help expats, but I will surely keep in touch with you too James, (if I may)

Thank you!!!

Rachel

According to your profile you're experienced as well and I like to hear from you what kind of suggestions or tips you have.

Hi Primadonna,

Nice to meet you here!
You are an expert too I see!
And you have moved away 6 years ago! What a big step and a big change that has been for you.
I've lived in many countries but on average 1 to 2 years.
Of course I understand you are married and I'm single (hello men out here 

Anyway, I'm also exploring this place and it seems very nice here so I'll be glad to see how I can help others around here.

Best to you

Rachel

This topic is absolutely great ! helping people that struggle... just great!
after the macro overview I would like to get into the micro of social interaction

Anyway as a tip I would like to give:
Take any possible action to gain social contacts with people living in the Netherlands (probably by joining this website you already showed that your interested...). Never forget, people are the most valuable asset a country can offer .

Having a friend from the country where your going is extremely helpful! (I remember sitting for hours with my Korean friend and translating the dutch letters of the government). hm I enjoyed the Korean food so much ... Now he is like a brother to me and I visited him in South Korea .

Make interaction possible:
Join clubs, sporting groups, work, forums, volunteering, music groups, learning groups.... Your probably more creative than me . Anyway something you really should do: At your job/study/neighbor/... Ask a person about websites local people use in order to meet other people! For example meetup.com/cities/nl/amsterdam

But... just joining is not going to make the magic happen (we know it all). You have to be active and be clear about it that you want to interact with these people beyond the group environment. Suggest things you would like to do with these people (of course to be subtle is safe but being clear is eventually more efficient). In order to suggest something you need to be informed and especially you need to be specific! Example: Hey guys, someone interested in learning how to shoot a bow? if yes... For example coming tuesday, thursday and friday at 18:00 near vondelpark...

Also a basic rule is... After a meeting with a group don't take your stuff and leave quickly but try to be one of the last because people usually take some time and start to talk about private things and make plans ideal to propose something .

Approach people actively during activities and make clear that your open for interaction (smiling, start with a positive sentence and/or open question, don't just answer with yes/no but form whole sentences and while talking always try to think of a memory or thought that links to the subject so that the conversation does not stop. (Sorry for my awful long sentences... German background <- directly an example of what I just said ).
Create little bridges to new subjects (for example about my German background I can start to tell a story now... ).

Of course these topics are very vast and endless and I got a lot of stories to tell where these things payed off...

The thing is to have an open mind about any and everything, a sense of humor, an understanding of your work and living environment.
Mix as much as you can with locals,respect and learn from them.
Have an escape plan so that you can get away from whatever is stressing you. 
To me this applies to what ever country you are in

Thank you Michiel and Stumpy!
One thing we seem to really agree on is ""GET SOCIAL'' and meet people but also ''talk'' to others!

And MIchiel, just like you I don't mind telling a lot about me or giving long answers. Please don't stop doing so, as you are helping a lot of newcomers here for sure!!!

I have to agree that joining activities are a great way to meet others. Meeting groups are there that offer events.
However, not everyone enjoys going OUT or go to group events.
NO despair, because everyone CAN find ways to integrate and feel at ease.
It's all about finding our what your interests are and where you can find it. That can be reading, cooking, sawing, etc...
and then it's a matter of finding like-minded to share you hobby.

All I"m saying is whether you are outgoing or not, everyone should ENJOY their stay abroad! And feel at home where ever you are.

Having said this, I'm not a party animal anymore...the age -clock is ticking....and I"m not 20 anymore
So for me, I always join a gym and running groups so that I learn my way around the woods or roads
but also I talk and meet people.
And yes, here in Holland, you must ''push'' them a little and ask your questions, or ask them for a coffee or anything.

And, last but not least, we have each other here!!!!
So, that's why I started this topic as you can all share your struggles and questions here and there's always a response and always someone nodding ''yeah ....me too'' 

I"m loving the interactions here! Keep it going guys!

Rachel

Getting social can have it's drawbacks too. Again you must have an understanding of the culture in which you are mixing and getting social. This is to avoid inadvertently getting yourself into a situation from which it may be difficult to extract yourself, such as discussions about religion and local social customs. To refuse some social custom can have very negative results for you.

I agree, during my time working at a vessel as maritime officer it is understood that you better don't start discussions about religion, politics, pro's and con's of cultures, wars between countries...
with a big smile a lot of problems solve it self

Hi,

I think it is difficult to draw general conclusions on what support an expat needs. It depends as much on the individual situation of the expat as on the country and situation you move to.

For example: an single expat moving, let's say from France to the USA needs a total different support than a family from Pakistan moving to Hungary. (These are just wild examples....).

Also your work situation has a huge impact: Employed, freelance, retirees, etc. have all different social environments.

A key is for sure the language. The less you can speak, the more you depend on the support from locals to maneuver the bureaucratic and social pitfalls.

Great stuff guys!
Thanks for keeping this discussion so interesting!

@stumpy and no-clue: I completely agree regarding ''general conclusions'' on the social part, because that's the reason I commented regarding the social events and activities, as NOT everyone enjoys going out or socializing.
PLUS of course the situation and country!
That's why I really base my support one-on-one and tailor it to the individual's questions.

Thank you again for your comments!!! 

@michiel: yea....a big smile CAN solve a lot, but also a big SILENCE can help often

Thank you!
Rachel