Make friends in Hamburg

Hey guys, I'm German and a native "northern light". I'm very sorry you find things complicated with my compatriots! I have lived abroad for 3.5 yrs, so I can compare a bit; and I confirm what some people said here: Germans don't open up as easily to people they don't know as do people in other (especially southern) countries. However, this has nothing to do with you guys being foreign. I myself find it difficult to get to know new Germans, especially here up north (and I'm not timid for sure).

There are a few things to keep in mind. Germans usually don't react in a cold way because they don't like talking to people they don't know. It's just that they're not used to it, and so it might irritate or surprise them in the first moment, and most of them probably feel insecure (which Germans often translate into reactions that seem cold or unfriendly to you, but really, in most cases they're just timid!)

Yeah, unfortunately some Germans are not interested in making new friends, especially if they've already lived at a place for a while and have their own circle of friends. They have this in common with most people in the world, to my experience. But don't worry - and most importantly, don't give up! There ARE people who will be happy to get to know you and to hang out with you. You'll find them just by not giving up, keeping talking to people, going out etc. Also, apart from this website, I find www.couchsurfing.org a very useful tool (the Hamburg group).

And, by the way: yeah, we're not the most outgoing people on earth, and I find this unfortunate myself (I like the southern enthusiasm and warmness very much); however, I assure you there are places in Europe that are much worse. Hamburg is a big cosmopolitan city, so naturally there are many young, liberal, open-minded and curious people around.

HI

I would love to extend my kind invitation for friendship. I work in the Department of research of the federal republic of germany as a scientist. 

Hopefully we can catch up someday!

Cheers

hi..will be glad to join you any time

Hi dear M.

I'm feeling sorry for you since I know exactly what you're talking about, and that although I'm from Hamburg myself... ;-) ! There are times I would like to make new friends as well but here it belongs to the 'good attitude' not to talk to strangers, be they attractive or interesting no matter how much... . for you from Barcelona it must be a nightmare sometimes. The Alster, the Elbe... nice of course, but nothing can replace the personal contact. What brought you here? I'm living in Altona, partly with my son (9) and am a flight attendant for Lufthansa... if you like to meet another kind of Hamburg citizen, Wouldl be glad to hearing from you!

Also via email, since I'm Che king the email more regularly. It's Tilman.bartholomae@gmail.com


All the best, and your power of invisibility should be of course used to spy... ;-)

T.

Hi, I totally agree with EarthlyTaurus. For those having problems with meeting Germans - great tips are already listed above. I have never had the problems to hang out with Germans. Pubs and clubs are the best ways to get some contacts. Just start talking even in English - mostly Germans speak good English and love to practice it (what actually makes it harder to learn German language ). In addition, you can always invite some colleagues/classmates to try your national cousin - always works good luck!

Hi! I'm in hamburg for almost two weeks and really bored out of my mind. Would love to meet new people to hang out with.
Coffee, chilling, whatever.

Germany is my second option. I know that befriend germans is near to impossible so i'm gonna hang out with other expats!

Even the german forum is depressing : users are inactive and don't have more than 100 posts!
Ich fühle mich traurig !

After nearly 1 year in Hamburg, I can say that apart from my colleagues or ex non-German colleagues and their friends, i still did not make any German friend here....at least not yet!

However after spending the past months observing, I'd say that one just need to be patient and try to adapt to the people' meaning of making friends or hanging out.

Good luck!

Hi, Yes I heard about the closeness of the German people before, but in reality, when we talk about other people's behavior.... we are really just describing ourselves. And any psychologist can tell you that....

I speak very little German, but never had problems to make friends. Of course to get into any kind of depth you have to find a common language that would allow you to speak beyond the weather, etc.

There are exceptions, of course.... Between a man and a woman... you can go to all kind of deepness without speaking too much (but maybe this is just my own experience... and I am talking about going places where I could hardly speak.... but there is always a connection...)

In any case. Recently I organized a Domino's Tournament at a local shop in Hamburg. No one showed up, but it is ok.

I am organizing it again for next week. Please check it out:

decilo.de/community/events/viewevent/1-jugar-domino

The site is in Spanish, but you can easily translate it to English.

So, there is no more excuses. Look at yourself in the mirror and if you see a lonely person... Don't say are the Germans... Just look a little closer ;-)

Cheers!

Here is a related anecdote. 

The other day about three weeks ago, I called all my new Venezuelan's friends in Hamburg and invited them to meet at the Patacon Pisao, which is a Venezuelan-Colombian restaurant in Hamburg  (Schlüterstraße 79, 20146 Hamburg Phone: 040 38664011). I told them that I will bring a set of Dominoes and my Cuatro (this is a transitional Venezuelan musical instrument a bit bigger than an Ukulele with tuning A3-D4-F#4-B3). 

No one really confirmed to come,  but I took my chances and went down the restaurant, which I had just visited for the first time few weeks before and met the Owner, Jorge who is a man from Colombia and Alejandro, the Chef, who is from Venezuela.

The restaurant was packed and none of my friend showed up ... I decided to sit at the bar and wait a bit longer and drank my beer alone ....

In that, a German guy comes in and can only sit by the bar.  There was hardly space so we start a conversation over my Cuatro case taking up all the space at the bar....

The German commented something about if I was a musician and also said that he was not artistic and something about he being better at math .... I asked him what does he do and he said to be a physicist... I said ... I am a physicist too.. and then we spend the next beer talking about nuclear reactors coming offline from power production in Germany ...

There was a silence, and I pointed out that I was there to play dominoes and a table became open ...

(if you don't know what dominos are check out this link, but sorry it is in Spanish : juegos-y-hobbies.practicopedia.lainformacion.com/juegos-de-mesa/como-jugar-al-domino-400 )

To make the anecdote short ... not long after that (as the costumers were leaving) the owner and chef came to joined us. Jorge sucks at dominoes and he was my partner ... we lost 98 to 100.  When I went to pay for my beers.... they were on him

Cheers!

Moral of the story:
Not EVERY expat will want to hang out with you and you should let locals approach you and not the other way around because most of the times you are not welcome.

Hi there!

wow, I thought there was something wrong with me all along.
I've been living here in Germany for almost 5 years now, I've got no German friends too.
When you've gotten to know them, they're friendly but it's like they're really not interested in having new friends.

It really isn't easy for me cause I live in a village with my familly. I'm about an hour's drive away from Hamburg and 35 mins drive away from Kiel.

hello i will be in germany soon can i have friends?

Elena. Tomorrow at the Patacon Pisao, which is a Venezuelan-Colombian restaurant in Hamburg (Schlüterstraße 79, 20146 Hamburg Phone: 040 38664011). 8pm till 11pm. Spanish, English, German chat. Regards.

Hi. Everybody, first I wish you all the best and a great 2013 !   Luis, when  you go again  out to the restaurnat? I wanna come .
         My husband is  learning to play guitar. Back in the States, we hade  in oure home musical  ninghts, one frend  was playing bass, other guitar, annd violins. We really miss that!   I was the "caterrar "  i was makikng the food and brew beer,  and enjoy the music......  Please let me know  when  will be a meeting, my id is : camaynl(at)yahoo.com .

Bump

I assume nothing happened with this topic? no meeting?
I have been here now only for 2 weeks and I am determined not to get to the point where I will complain:
'I am here for * insert preferable * months already and no friends!'

So who's up for a meetup again?

[Moderated: Not a dating website]

Feel the same. People do not know how to laugh. They don't smile often.


Maybe we just have to accept it.

Regerds Hill

Hi, I am hosting that Dominoes game again in the Patacon Pisao.

facebook.com/pataconpisao.de

Everyone is welcome to come. Most people will speak Spanish but English and German as well.

Cheers!

hi, i feel you. sometimes it can be very boring here. I am 4months here since i came, but this is europe. i am frm Kenya and i knw how warm the people back home can be. we like making frnds back hme. you mind being frnds? joe joself is my fb name

great week ahead!!!

joe

HI @stephhamburg,

Spreek je Flaams/Nederlands of Fraans?

Hi Louis Simpson,

Please can you write in English, as you are on an English speaking forum.

Thank you,

David.

Hello im Tarnya, I moved to hamburg from england 2 weeks ago and am woried that i will struggle to to make friends.

I could relate to u as i also sat in may coffee shops in places i have live, aus, usa england and cld make many friends here, people do pretend like u are not there..

if u are interest in talk please add me on fb  tarnya.mitchell@facebook.com.. i hve a pic of two girls on my profile pic, one is blonde and me who has brown hair we are both in corsets. just so u no which one i am.

That is true, my husband is German and we met in Ecuador there it was easy for me but when i moved here because of my husband´s studies it was bad, i am the most of the time alone, and i cant make any friend i made just 2 in my integrationkurs but in Bayern, my husband comes from Rostock and his family never call us just one in a while, sometimes it makes me depressive in Ecuador i used to have many friends but know is hard, i donk know where to go, o what can i make?, my husband has Asperger so his life is just with me, i understand my husband condition but it is not healthy for me stayin in house, my new German curse it will start in 2 days more i hope making more friends now.

Hello and from me!I'm in Hamburg for about a week now and i agree totally with the most of you.It's hard to meet new people.At the moment i'm working and doing nothing :)So keep in toch if you want!

I don't live in Hamburg, but I will be visiting on the 30th (a saturday)! Maybe we can meet up and we could explore the city together?

I think i'm a little late on this site, since the last post on the subject 'hard to make friends' is from 2013
Still, i'l give it a try: is somebody there from Hh that wants a coffee?!

Hello Andreea Simona and welcome to Expat.com

Why not create a more recent thread so as to increase your chances of visibility on the forum?

I suggest you also to browse and participate through most recent threads in our  networking in hamburg section of the forum.

Regards
Kenjee
Expat.com Team

HI, this year I stop drinking coffe, but I joing you. PM me.. Take care.

Moin, moin alle zusammen
I am living in Hamburg for almost 7 years now. I am not here to complain about 'making or having' friends, but to let you all now that life is too short even for comparing the gas or Diesel prices. If allowed, I might recommend you to avoid spending time at home but rather out..."downtown", join different leisure activity groups. Just be out there; something good is going to happen no matter if sooner or later.
I am also available for hanging around. Just let me know when anybody available.
Anyway, enjoy your time wherever you may spend it! KN

hi me rady - me too like you come from Afghanistan i cant find polite friend

I don't agree. Sometimes you can make friends but can't maintain long term friendships. I've been living in HH for 2 years, used to go out a lot. Then I realized I got to know many people but could not make close friends. So yes, it is definitely worth complaining

If I was sitting in a cafe' it would be to enjoy a coffee etc. Germans are generally reserved, note the Sie and Du seperating Friends and near aquaintances. Join a 'spanish' group, and you will soon find Germans interested in your country and language and soon you will have your own circle of friends.

"I wonder what could I do with my new power of invisibility." Ha, probably lots of things to make your day more exciting. Shame to hear there's no one cool around you, but it may take a bit of time to find your crew. Couchsurfing events and meetup.com are good places to start, as well as classmates if you're studying and colleagues if you're working.