How to make friends in Copenhagen

steppy New member

7POSTS

14 years ago

Wow, there is really varied feedback and experiences on this thread! Some of it scares me a little!

I too am looking to move to Copenhagen in about a year. I am English but speak the language. I am fully expecting that to make friends will require a lot of personal effort, but isn't that always the same when you move abroad?

It's true though that the northern European countries are more reserved and closed in their nature than some southern European countries. But I think it depends on where you come from. I come from London, and if I am honest, London is a fairly unfriendly and difficult place to make friends too. English people will not just start talking to you and offer friendship. So for me, I am hoping that Danish culture will be very similar to what I am use to, hence will suit me just fine.

However, I think the point here, is your experience of Denmark really depends on where YOU come from and what you are used to.... I agree if you come from Italy, where people seem to be a lot more lively, spend time outdoors and enjoy a high level of social interaction, yes Denmark will seem very unfriendly. And perhaps that doesn't suit all people. :-)

2 members reacted to this post

Asis1 Member

1POSTS

14 years ago

#42

Hey guys, I am visiting Denmark this June 2012 to take some summer classes at Copenhagen Business School. I am always keen to make new friends and down to explore Scandinavia. But after i read all the comments here, its pretty intimidating.
why dont we start making some friends here in this forum

chronic88 Member

1POSTS

14 years ago

#43

I am very surprised to hear that Copenhagen is a difficult place for people... and upset that some people are verging on hate for the "reserved and selfish" danish people. I have been here in copenhagen for one week, visiting family, and I have had the nicest experience I ever have anywhere in the world, even at home, meeting people.

Stop being so shy, smile at everyone you would like to meet, say hello, tell them that you are from out of town, ask for some information, you never know where it will go. This is all I have done and I have already made friends that would let me sleep on their couch.

If you can't meet people ANYWHERE, especially where they speak ENGLISH... (in copenhagen there is more english than many places)... it is entirely your fault. Go to a cafe or a bar, a bus stop, a park, and just say hello to people, tell them where you are from, ask questions about the place. You won't instantly find a friend, or someone to hang out with, but MANY TIMES you will strike up a conversation, and that can easily lead to something bigger. If someone enjoys talking to you for longer than 10 minutes, chances are they will welcome you into their life.

Some places I have met people:
- bus stop at night
- crowded bar (bathroom lineup, at the bar, etc.)
- sitting outside coffee shop
- bike shop (struck up conversation with employee I was buying a tube from)

There is no science to it, there is no specific place. It is the same all over the world... STOP BEING AFRAID and just talk to people... I know it feels weird, I know it seems strange to just approach people for no particular reason... but just do it, and you will never regret it.

2 members reacted to this post

Capies New member

4POSTS

13 years ago

#44

I agree Joe.. Not really our kind of people, and not sure I wan't to change who I am to be friends with them...

joe 1960 wrote:
I aggree::: Danes r difficult to befriend, and the weather SUCKS guys:)

Capies New member

4POSTS

13 years ago

#45

I think the younger crowd definitely find it easier than 'middle aged' people like ourselves.. we've been here for 2 years now, I speak fluent danish, and was actually born here, but left with my family to live in South Africa at the age of 3 ... I'm clearly not as Danish as I thought.. I feel very different from the people here, have nothing in common with them, and still feel like a fish out of water, I'd suggest that anyone considering moving to Denmark, should try it out for a year or so first before moving lock, stock and barrel.

1 member reacted to this post

Frihed89 Active member

39POSTS

13 years ago

#46

B.Marie wrote:
So how do you???

There are helpful comments if you look at previous posts. As a newly arrived immigrant I met danes and developed friendships through: sports clubs, danish classes, meditation classes, dance lessons and dance places, my building committee meetings, and last but not least by going to several Ølejre (http://www.oelejr.dk/2012/index.php?%D8 … m_%F8lejre) where singles and couples go to explore relationship and self-development topics, but there are also family vacations.

1 member reacted to this post

pstrongman Member

2POSTS

13 years ago

#47

You have to be patient and allow a person to notice you and quickly approach and tell people your intentions about making friends. You must be yourself when you meet people so they won't feel afraid to be themselves around you. Be truthful don't tell things that you have to remember hard to keep track of.

pstrongman Member

2POSTS

13 years ago

#48

I am looking forward to making friends with whomever would like to and having some coffee

1 member reacted to this post

Jacob18 New member

4POSTS

13 years ago

#49

Well it is not easy to make friends with Danes, even though I m living in Denmark for last 6 years, and speak relatively good Danish, still not easy. I thank god that I have a job that keeps me busy most of the time. But again there's always light behind the dark clouds. Try to invite them at your place, make some ethnic foods, try to show that you are there for there events, like summerfest, julfrokost, parties at work place etc. otherwise Danes are very much to themselves. Cold and introvert and may be protective for themselves, may be don't want to learn about foreign people's.

Nickols Guest

0POSTS

13 years ago

#50

Keep in mind that Danes are no differant from other people when it comes to making friends. But we tend to avoid shallow commitments and therefore it may take longer to meet people here and get to know them. Danes, however, are very open to new ideas, and they listen if you respect that they might disagree with you. Danes are generally very broad-minded. We're (generally) not obediant to Religious hokus pokus like many people still are around the world.

3 members reacted to this post

Jacob18 New member

4POSTS

13 years ago

#51

Nickols wrote:
Keep in mind that Danes are no differant from other people when it comes to making friends. But we tend to avoid shallow commitments and therefore it may take longer to meet people here and get to know them. Danes, however, are very open to new ideas, and they listen if you respect that they might disagree with you. Danes are generally very broad-minded. We're (generally) not obediant to Religious hokus pokus like many people still are around the world.

I agree with you nickols, one needs to be patient to earn there friendship..

RehanaK Member

3POSTS

13 years ago

#52

Llajmaa wrote:
Hey guys!! I read everything and to be honest i freaked out a little bit;D But it doesnt stop me from willing that there're danes who don't mind being friends with foreigners. Thanks everyone for written information its very helpful!!!
And in the end i wanna say that im looking forward to grab a cup of coffee with people who'd like to make new friends!!! ;]]

I agree with you not everybody is same. It takes some time. Although I am here since a month but I have some good dane colleagues who are quite friendly but of-course it's bit difficult to make friends outside of work or uni...and hey Llajmaa.....I am up for it to have a cup of coffee and make some new friends.....

RAED khefi New member

4POSTS

13 years ago

#53

life is short try to get it

RAED khefi New member

4POSTS

13 years ago

#54

any polite male or female

dicania Active member

34POSTS

13 years ago

#55

dicania wrote:
fuzzy wrote:
It is indeed tough to make friends with actual Danish people, unless you belong to a hobby group or a sports club, affinity group, etc. etc. You increase your chances if it's a very small number of people who are members of the club, or if it's a rare pastime here.

Surely this is how you make friends in any new city? How else are people expecting to make friends; I currently live in London - non Londoners don't expect to make friends by letting Londoners approach them and besides, if a Londoner approached them it would be deemed as odd behaviour! My non Londoner friends I met through hobby groups or through work.

I know it's an old one but this thread has puzzled me slightly. I don't live in Copenhagen but have been many many times and I find the Danes some of the most welcoming people and extremely friendly. I was the only non-Dane at a new year party last year with about 50 Danes (I knew just three people there) and everyone was brilliant and extremely hospitable. All I'll say is that if you go into these things thinking you'll never make friends then you won't because you'll give off negative vibes.

Whether it's Copenhagen, London, Paris etc ... as the newcomers (I'm speaking as one as want to move to CPH) we're the ones who will have to make the effort. People have established lives and aren't our babysitters.

fuzzy wrote:
dicania, you will find Danes are very kind to tourists or visitors. It's the people left behind who aren't treated quite as considerately or kindly. You really need to move here to experience the difference.

Well, I moved to Copenhagen. I forgot that I wrote on this thread ages ago before I did so. My opinion remains the same it did a few years ago It is not impossible to make friends. More difficult than what some may be used to, yes. But not impossible. I will reiterate that people have established lives already (my fiance's friendship groups were nearly all formed at about five years old) - that's just the way it is. People are not unwelcoming and find my background interesting as a half English half Filipino woman. Once you have a friend in a Dane you will have them for life. But do not expect them to be a 'just for now' friend - like a previous poster said, shallow commitments do not fly here.

2 members reacted to this post

RAED khefi New member

4POSTS

13 years ago

#56

alot of words can kill the meaning of words

Armand ViP

24785POSTS

13 years ago

#57

RAED khefi wrote:
alot of words can kill the meaning of words

We could do with an introduction of yourself though.

Armadn

Nickols Guest

0POSTS

13 years ago

#58

Hi expats,
I am not surely, an expert in Danes or in friendship but I agree more or less, with all of you. I guess what we are trying to say is that friendship is not between nations but between people.
Friendship is a fragile gift that needs to be delicate handled. A lot of understanding, trust and really friendly incentives would be a good recipe, I think!
Different culture can be barrier only for those who do not wish to make friends but the bottom line is that we all looking for a friend! Isn't it?
It usually takes time otherwise you end up in sallow commitments indeed!
"easy come, easy go".

RAED khefi New member

4POSTS

13 years ago

#59

not all matters can come easy go easy , it depend on our feelings and our standing to the others , we can feel one away from us because he feel like you feelings can not limit in place no time it some like 3 dimension , trying to take all the dimension of life

Nickols Guest

0POSTS

13 years ago

#60

I am not sure that I understand you but if I get it right dear RAED, I would say that the true barriers are those that we set or have to set in our feelings. We all have feelings but not all of us can or are allowed to accept them! Which of course has nothing to do with culture but with our commitment to our true life.

CPHGlenn Member

2POSTS

13 years ago

#61

Using social groups definitely works,and it is amazing how one or two like minded people connect to become friends. I am a little bias in that I am using the site meet-up.com personally to join social groups that I am interested in, both for international people and Danes.

andyhedkandi New member

4POSTS

13 years ago

#62

shalsk Member

1POSTS

12 years ago

#63

I am an Indian professional and currently working as a trainer. I'm interested in making friends with good and socially inclined Danes.

yorbaja New member

4POSTS

12 years ago

#64

Making friends is so easy.
Start by being friendly :-)
Make an effort to overcome shyness. Join or participate an organization (professional, international or sports organization). It's what I did and still doing :-)
Good luck to all!

1 member reacted to this post

Mareeza0604 Active member

31POSTS

12 years ago

#65

Danish people are cool but very reserved and shy. If you get to know them they are very nice conversationalist and smart too. By the way they also speak English fluently so communication will never be a problem. Danish people are good free thinkers. They listen to your opinions with full attention without passing judgment.

Though Danish are not as friendly in the first meeting because they have these shy demeanor. But eventually they can really be cool friends. Good listener and always available if you need them.

1 member reacted to this post

Nickols Guest

0POSTS

12 years ago

#66

Danish people are the most open and liberated people you can find. It's not at all difficult to make friends with us. But are terrified of foreign Religion and other hypocritical nonsens. These sort of things often make it impossible for foreigners to make friends with Danes.
To say it loud and clear...:
Denmark is a country where the people has left the Medieval darkness long before anyone else. That doesn't mean we run around naked all the time, that we have no Morals and Ethics or something stupid like that.
But people have the right to LIVE to the fullest. And guns belong in the hand of Barbarians.
Everyone who understands all that fit perfectly in Danish Society. Get it...! and people will love you. I promise!!! :-)

1 member reacted to this post

bates3 cfc Member

1POSTS

12 years ago

#67

hi my name is keith,how r u

David ViP

9410POSTS

12 years ago

#68

Hi bates3 cfc,

Welcome to expat-blog!

Please can you you introduce yourself?

Thank you,

David.

keithbates Member

1POSTS

12 years ago

#69

[Moderated: off topic]

Nickols Guest

0POSTS

12 years ago

#70

Greetings to everyone we are excited our first visit in Copenhagen Hope we meet some Expat.comgers when we arrive there make friends, drink cup of coffee and share, give useful ideas about the area. See you soon Expat.comgers CPH:)

lebanese28 New member

5POSTS

12 years ago

#71

Best to do is everyone to share his Skype

Talk and see where it goes , friendship can start from everywhere no limits

iuriemindru Member

12POSTS

12 years ago

#72

hej lets drink a coffee together you are more welkome to contact me,my email is te_iubesc@list.ru

egyptianmau Member

1POSTS

12 years ago

#73

Hi everyone! I don't think Danes are that unfriendly to foreigners. In a span of 3 months, I've had fun with a lot of Danes and back home (Philippines) I also made friends with some Danish guys. Just try to be open with them and you'll see they're not that snobby after all. Truth be told, I guess they just seem snobby because they are more comfortable with their own language which might seem a bit off if you are the only foreigner in the group, but if the tables were turned I guess I would do the same too, some stories are just more lively if you say it in your native tongue.

Faroukh New member

5POSTS

12 years ago

#74

In fact I am looking for friends in Copenhagen.

Andypandy5 New member

5POSTS

12 years ago

#75

Go to a church, som of them are very inclusive for example House church, Vineyard, Hillsong, church in culturecenter, City church. The free church are most social.

shahkhan2014 Member

1POSTS

11 years ago

#76

By searching i will be able to fine sincere and good friend

Samira99 New member

5POSTS

10 years ago

#77

Hey looking to make friends email me ***

Moderated by Bhavna 10 years ago
Reason : Please avoid posting your contact details on the forum.
We invite you to read the forum code of conduct

Samira99 New member

5POSTS

10 years ago

#78

Join gum

lwinchek Member

11POSTS

10 years ago

#79

Typically knowing a Dane is the best way to make friends with Danes. They tend to be a little reserved, but they completely open up at parties! They are very social at parties and are a lot of fun. Another way to find good friendships is through work of course. I love Danish people, so sincere and open! Sometimes the dark humor takes a little getting used to. When I was in Denmark, as a sensitive American, I often got offended at first. Now, after being around the culture for over 10 years, and I hear the dark humor I don't even bat an eye. Danes are fun, family oriented and their parties are very traditional and fun. One way to lose a Danish friend is to be late or not show up. Hope this helps.

Lauren