Relationships

NashCat wrote:

Bar girls, coffee girls, grocery girls ... working Vietnamese girls. They all wants more money and a better life for themselves and their families, which means marrying and going abroad. What's so hard to understand? Hey! If you say u wants to stay in Vietnam only, they like u less ... but they still like u cause u are loaded with money. Love is 1%, 99% is Adam Smith at work. Just sayin' what lot of people are thinking ...

Partially you are right! We cannot blame all. I know personally some youths would like to do some dignified job and get money. All over the world there has both bad and good people, not only in Vietnam. I know so many of them are compel to do for money. Majority girls in the aforesaid categories are with a little education. Remaining with good education is the big problem. They are the embodiment of arrogance cover with an attractive smile to their 'prey'. The main problem is family and the situation they growing up. With regard to HCMC, majority girls are from other provinces. After they come here they get more courage to deviate their profession - money making, by all means. They don't need to care anyone. Parents are far away. Sometimes  they visit. Also parents belief that they send money by hard working. Even if they understand her later they keep silent because of poverty.

Ken Charma

lostsouls wrote:

thanhmai296 wrote:

almost people think that US is the best - political, social,legal, education, human, entertainment. That's why they wanna live in US.
Like me, I want my children can study and live in US to to get the best education, the best civilized society...
With an oriental views, I love my family and wanna stay in Vietnam to take care of them. However, we will consider what is better when we choose somewhere to live.

I beg to differ, Mai. Its true that all Vietnamese that I knew wants to get out of Vietnam & move to USA. But USA is not all that good as Vietnamese percieved.

Take Singapore for example. Singapore is a 1st world country & its still evolving. The pace is so fast that citizens couldnt keep up with probably the highest living standard in South East Asia. Many people are struggling to pay bills, loans even though they're average income earners. Many Singaporeans want out of the country & move to Malaysia, Indonesia, Thailand. So do you think USA is in any way better?

As for childhood, this is my personal opinion. I grew up in a village in Malaysia & my chilhood was catching spiders, playing in the drains, rain, getting myself all dirty, etc. what do kids play nowadays? IPAD, IPhone, LAN games, things to do with technology. Wheres the childhood fun? These are what the kids in Singapore & around the world are doing.

What I can say is Singapore's kids for example going to school are facing ernomous stress. The education now is totally different from past decades. you dont get 1+1=2 type of teaching in elementary 1 anymore

I dont know if you understand what I've written.

I feel you, bro!

noah83 wrote:

lostsouls wrote:

thanhmai296 wrote:

almost people think that US is the best - political, social,legal, education, human, entertainment. That's why they wanna live in US.
Like me, I want my children can study and live in US to to get the best education, the best civilized society...
With an oriental views, I love my family and wanna stay in Vietnam to take care of them. However, we will consider what is better when we choose somewhere to live.

I beg to differ, Mai. Its true that all Vietnamese that I knew wants to get out of Vietnam & move to USA. But USA is not all that good as Vietnamese percieved.

Take Singapore for example. Singapore is a 1st world country & its still evolving. The pace is so fast that citizens couldnt keep up with probably the highest living standard in South East Asia. Many people are struggling to pay bills, loans even though they're average income earners. Many Singaporeans want out of the country & move to Malaysia, Indonesia, Thailand. So do you think USA is in any way better?

As for childhood, this is my personal opinion. I grew up in a village in Malaysia & my chilhood was catching spiders, playing in the drains, rain, getting myself all dirty, etc. what do kids play nowadays? IPAD, IPhone, LAN games, things to do with technology. Wheres the childhood fun? These are what the kids in Singapore & around the world are doing.

What I can say is Singapore's kids for example going to school are facing ernomous stress. The education now is totally different from past decades. you dont get 1+1=2 type of teaching in elementary 1 anymore

I dont know if you understand what I've written.

I feel you, bro!

A fellow countrymen.

Hi Noah, Hows it going? Nice to meet you.

lostsouls wrote:

I beg to differ, Mai. Its true that all Vietnamese that I knew wants to get out of Vietnam & move to USA. But USA is not all that good as Vietnamese percieved.

Take Singapore for example. Singapore is a 1st world country & its still evolving. The pace is so fast that citizens couldnt keep up with probably the highest living standard in South East Asia. Many people are struggling to pay bills, loans even though they're average income earners. Many Singaporeans want out of the country & move to Malaysia, Indonesia, Thailand. So do you think USA is in any way better?

As for childhood, this is my personal opinion. I grew up in a village in Malaysia & my chilhood was catching spiders, playing in the drains, rain, getting myself all dirty, etc. what do kids play nowadays? IPAD, IPhone, LAN games, things to do with technology. Wheres the childhood fun? These are what the kids in Singapore & around the world are doing.

What I can say is Singapore's kids for example going to school are facing ernomous stress. The education now is totally different from past decades. you dont get 1+1=2 type of teaching in elementary 1 anymore

I dont know if you understand what I've written.

I totally agree with you that nowaday, kids have been growing up with IPAD, IP, games and so on. it means kids today have been heavily impacted by technology.
Children today are not nearly as familiar with the old fashioned ways to entertain themselves like older generations grew up with..
Other negative impacts caused by technology include less exercise, leading to obesity,
However, the effects of technology on children are complicated, with both benefits and costs.
Anyway, I personally think that the high-tech culture has changed children’s social relationships and also childhood as well :-) I miss my childhood so much..

funnybear92 wrote:

I totally agree with you that nowaday, kids have been growing up with IPAD, IP, games and so on. it means kids today have been heavily impacted by technology.
Children today are not nearly as familiar with the old fashioned ways to entertain themselves like older generations grew up with..
Other negative impacts caused by technology include less exercise, leading to obesity,
However, the effects of technology on children are complicated, with both benefits and costs.
Anyway, I personally think that the high-tech culture has changed children’s social relationships and also childhood as well :-) I miss my childhood so much..

Hahahah. At least someone agrees with me. I miss my chilhood too, Playing in the drains, catching spiders, fishes, playing marbles, explore the forest, etc. Singapore has changed so much that if kids wana experience that, they gotta go Malaysia, the nearest country.

I dont even own a handphone till 20 years old. Kids now own 1 at maybe 10 years old.

lostsouls wrote:

funnybear92 wrote:

I totally agree with you that nowaday, kids have been growing up with IPAD, IP, games and so on. it means kids today have been heavily impacted by technology.
Children today are not nearly as familiar with the old fashioned ways to entertain themselves like older generations grew up with..
Other negative impacts caused by technology include less exercise, leading to obesity,
However, the effects of technology on children are complicated, with both benefits and costs.
Anyway, I personally think that the high-tech culture has changed children’s social relationships and also childhood as well :-) I miss my childhood so much..

Hahahah. At least someone agrees with me. I miss my chilhood too, Playing in the drains, catching spiders, fishes, playing marbles, explore the forest, etc. Singapore has changed so much that if kids wana experience that, they gotta go Malaysia, the nearest country.

I dont even own a handphone till 20 years old. Kids now own 1 at maybe 10 years old.

The parents should learn how to become an intelligent consumer in this technology world

Wild_1 wrote:

I wonder, what would the cavemen--who grew up with sticks and stones--say about us?

I recommend You should go back in time to ask them this question

Wild_1 wrote:

I wonder, what would the cavemen--who grew up with sticks and stones--say about us?

Ug ug grhbh gaa*!

or ask a Glaswegian they are unevolved cave men!!



*Glaswegian for did you spill my pint? (translates as lets fight)

colinoscapee wrote:

Not sure if you have too much of an idea about bar girls, most do it because its easy money.You say nobody wants to give their body for sex, well you must be going to different bars to the ones here in Vung Tau and Saigon.

Allow me to clarify the type of "bar" to which I was referring in my original post:

I was NOT referring to the type of "bars" you can find on the lower end of Hai Ba Trung street in district 1, most of which aren't really bars. Most foreigners refer to them as "monkey bars", because when you go in, the girl of your choice (actually one will probably choose you instead) hangs all over you like a monkey in a tree, and continuously asks you to buy her a lady drink, because that's part of her job - to make money for the bar by selling cheap (for the bar) drinks at a ridiculous profit.

Instead, I'm referring to the normal bars, like English pubs, where you go in, sit at an actual bar with your buddies, and there are numerous young ladies working behind the bar to serve you beers or mixed drinks. A great many of those girls fall into the categories ngaunhien states in her post.

I would also like to add that I'm always upfront when talking to these girls - letting them know upon introduction that I'm married. That probably gives me some "immunity" from any potential B.S. that some of you single guys may have encountered in the bars.

Ngaunhien: Thank you for your kind words.

colinoscapee wrote:

I wasnt replying to you Saigonmonkey.... Bar girls are what you described as those monkey bars, that is a what I would deem as being a bar girl.

I quoted you in my post because it reminded me that I did need to clarify my earlier one. Had already been thinking about that. If most people here think the same as you, it's no wonder I got some of the reactions I got from my original post. For the record, I and most of my friends refer to the girls working in the pubs as bar girls, and refer to the girls in the monkey bars as... whores. (Apologies to anyone here who is offended by that - just calling it as it is...)

Ready2jump wrote:

A relationship works when both parties are getting what they need.  Older men love the younger girls. They make them feel alive and young again.  Sex with a young girl is fun....its a dream come true. For the young girl its all about the money.  Money to send home. Money to live a nicer life.
Most old guys know that and are okay with it.  Its not about true love. 
If I come to Vietnam, I am going to find a young gorgeous girl.....I dont care where I find her.  I will treat her like a princess and give her money.  In exchange she will please me in every way.....and we both will be getting what we need.

The man speaks the truth .... what's love got to do with it?
I might add, the younger and good looking you are the less money you'll need to get the attractive girl

ngaunhien wrote:

Bar girls they do have heart ! But their mercy not much same as human being...

Saigonmonkey ...I love so much your comments here... Most girls r work so hard untill 2-3 am in the morning and try to save money for their families.For their kids. Some girls working there bcos of their family is poor and their husband were bullshit. Some husband force them to work and give money to them. Some bcos their family has someone who is in sickness or living life time in hospital ... So they making money and crying inside their hearts. Nobody wanna give their body for other men who just looking for sex and talk bad about bar girls of course except addict drug girls they only working and earning money for buying drugs, or some girls they love sex so they work in bar to find forenger 's .....
But mostly 50% bcos of their family were in trouble and stuck with poor background, 20 % addict drug 20% loving money 5%sex demand and the 5%left is lazy and love earning easy money!
Anyways their heart there still.... If the right boy come they will go back to their original character ..loving and caring and honest. But the bad boys come ... They will treat true ways for ...bullshit men! What a bad boy expect a bar girl to treat as a educated person??????
Again: saigonmonkey you got a very gorgeous heart!

Very true........................

yolandyoland2 wrote:

it is all depends what you want, to find a good girl then don't look in bars, specially not the ones who are working there. coffee shops is a better option, about money, think this is the same as every where else in the world. as they say no money no honey but all depends on the girl. off course most vn women like to be married to an expat of overseas guy due to better way of living then what they have here, the respect and treatment compare to a vn guy. help with their family etc what is normal in VN culture, you not only marry your wife but also marry her family. if you can accept this then you can make a change in your relationship. Many think that life overseas is so much better and dont appreciate what they have got here. they have no idea the cost of living overseas when they found out most aare happy to stay here. specially living  overseas with no help of their family to raise kids or help in the house etc. good luck to find the right one and stop looking at a bar or karaoke place to find the right one.

Hi Guy, i read ur post i know u so nice. u can understand about all of VN n u have a knonleged so well, right or not about Vietnamese. Nice to meet u!

Jenny Tu wrote:

Hi Guy, i read ur post i know u so nice. u can understand about all of VN n u have a knonleged so well, right or not about Vietnamese. Nice to meet u!

I don't think it's 'understand about all of VN' but expats have experienced a lot of different cultures when they've travelled around the world. You learn a great deal when you step outside your comfort zone.

ancientpathos wrote:

Just another update on my saga.  The ex sent me an email telling me it was her family pressuring for the marriage, visa to the USA and finally the $5000 to start her life over again.  She wrote that she just wants to be with me and take care of me.  I have not responded yet.  Since this has all started my feelings for her have changed.  Plus I have been dating others, nothing serious.  Anyone else had this experience?

Run.

Just. Run.

If you must, give her a firm No with an apology, but make that the last you deal with that gal.

Been reading too many horror stories for prolonged contact to even remotely sound like a good idea.