Vietnamese wife?

gobot wrote:

The poor thing, it is so painful for her to spend money. Like breaking her habit of boiling tap water even though we get bottled delivery for 70.000d a month. The minute I step out of the room, she turns off the fan.

A perfect woman in every culture.

We turn off light and fan too when we walk out of the room.  Also taking short showers and turning off water while brushing teeth, but that's because we came from CA.  Here in VN, I use boiled tap water (cool down) to rinse fruits and vegetables after washing them in kali pemanganat (KMnO4).

gobot wrote:

Guys who say all Asian women are gold diggers are pathetic.

Ciambella wrote:

gobot wrote:

The poor thing, it is so painful for her to spend money. Like breaking her habit of boiling tap water even though we get bottled delivery for 70.000d a month. The minute I step out of the room, she turns off the fan.

A perfect woman in every culture.

We turn off light and fan too when we walk out of the room.  Also taking short showers and turning off water while brushing teeth, but that's because we came from CA.  Here in VN, I use boiled tap water (cool down) to rinse fruits and vegetables after washing them in kali pemanganat (KMnO4).

gobot wrote:

Guys who say all Asian women are gold diggers are pathetic.

Its the same in our house. Its called taking care. To be honest, I have never been in a relationship where someone cared so much for me. Truthfully. It is quite humbling.

Reorandy wrote:

Haha. I have been dating my Vietnamese girlfriend from the United States online via FB and skype for many months prior to moving to Vietnam. We hit it off famously when we met in Vietnam in person, as we knew we would, because we took the time to know each others' hearts and minds. Few cultural differences and small language barriers aside, we have been crazy in love in real life, more than internet love. I cannot speak for other Vietnamese women, but mine is beautiful, sexy, faithful, loyal, caring and loves family. She was also a victim of a womanizing ex husband, who luckily for me, gave her two wonderful children whom I love like my own flesh and blood and they love the fact that I play with them and give them love and attention, unlike their selfish "father". She doesn't love me for my money as I have none, lol, just work various English teaching jobs here. She is an educated, self reliant woman who isn't a gold digger nor wants a free Visa to America. I believe the mental and heart connection is the key to a happy marriage to a Vietnamese local. Just my humble experience. By the way, I am 47 and she is 31, but in no way am I the "mature" one in the relationship. lol

Thank you very much for good experience with Vietnamese women. We are not a gold digger.

Iamsnail wrote:

Reorandy wrote:

Haha. I have been dating my Vietnamese girlfriend from the United States online via FB and skype for many months prior to moving to Vietnam. We hit it off famously when we met in Vietnam in person, as we knew we would, because we took the time to know each others' hearts and minds. Few cultural differences and small language barriers aside, we have been crazy in love in real life, more than internet love. I cannot speak for other Vietnamese women, but mine is beautiful, sexy, faithful, loyal, caring and loves family. She was also a victim of a womanizing ex husband, who luckily for me, gave her two wonderful children whom I love like my own flesh and blood and they love the fact that I play with them and give them love and attention, unlike their selfish "father". She doesn't love me for my money as I have none, lol, just work various English teaching jobs here. She is an educated, self reliant woman who isn't a gold digger nor wants a free Visa to America. I believe the mental and heart connection is the key to a happy marriage to a Vietnamese local. Just my humble experience. By the way, I am 47 and she is 31, but in no way am I the "mature" one in the relationship. lol

Thank you very much for good experience with Vietnamese women. We are not a gold digger.

Some are, but not all.

Raymond perri wrote:

Glad to here your happy experience you dont hear it often. I am entering the same scenario my self. Although the language barrier is getting me down a bit.  Mne is not a gold digger as there is no gold to dig.and she knows it. She is a wonderful  girl so i hope i have a happy ending like your self.

Language is a bigger issue than most people realize. Do your self and "her" a favor and learn at least basic Vietnamese.

70 years old wrote:

Raymond perri wrote:

Glad to here your happy experience you dont hear it often. I am entering the same scenario my self. Although the language barrier is getting me down a bit.  Mne is not a gold digger as there is no gold to dig.and she knows it. She is a wonderful  girl so i hope i have a happy ending like your self.

Language is a bigger issue than most people realize. Do your self and "her" a favor and learn at least basic Vietnamese.

Well, yeah, thats a given, however since the Vietnamese change their language like they take a shower (multiple times a day) learning the language can be a trial. There is another thread about this very subject elsewhere on this website, however and briefly: My missus gets very peed off when I attempt to speak Vietnamese to local people and they waggle their hands at head height and say Khong Hieiu (sp - its early). She will tear into them and ask "why didn't you understand what my husband just said to you in perfect Vietnamese". The response is usually the rictus grin of embarrassment and no reason except that one waiter in a restaurant did say: "because he is a foreigner".

70 years old wrote:

Don't even think about the various dialects. I'm more or less getting my Saigon dialect back after a long stay in more central Vietnam.

Funnily enough, my missus's mother was here for a couple of weeks recently and I came downstairs to find  the missus giving her mother a telling off. I asked what the problem was and she said" Mum keeps talking to me in that Baoc Loc dialect gibberish". 

gobot wrote:

I was watching a young woman in a clothing store last week. Suddenly she froze. She saw herself in the full length mirror and was mesmerized for at least 15 seconds. She was in love.

Gobot,  I tend to do that myself.  Mesmerizing.  Now the question is why were you watching a young woman in the first place? 🤔😀

Your wife is a good woman.

eodmatt wrote:

For example, many Vietnamese will pick out a word in a sentence and concentrate on that word to the exclusion of the meaning of the sentence - in both English and Vietnamese.

So, the sentence "I decided NOT to go shopping today" is only received as the word "shopping" And almost inevitably elicits a response such as: "Oh, what did you buy?"

Reading and listening comprehension are NOT considered important by many people all over the world.  I've encountered that time and time over every day, in Europe, in the States, in Asia, and on the many forums of THIS and other websites.  Strangely though, it has happened more often (at least to me) in English than in other languages.

Ciambella wrote:

eodmatt wrote:

For example, many Vietnamese will pick out a word in a sentence and concentrate on that word to the exclusion of the meaning of the sentence - in both English and Vietnamese.

So, the sentence "I decided NOT to go shopping today" is only received as the word "shopping" And almost inevitably elicits a response such as: "Oh, what did you buy?"

Reading and listening comprehension are NOT considered important by many people all over the world.  I've encountered that time and time over every day, in Europe, in the States, in Asia, and on the many forums of THIS and other websites.  Strangely though, it has happened more often (at least to me) in English than in other languages.

So, I have to ask if English is your first language?

I must  be a bit odd then, as I consider understanding what people say to be very important. And I also think it is very important for me to ensure that people understand what I say, especially when I'm at work, when, failure to follow my instructions could result in death or injury.  If what you say is true, then the world would be full of people frequently doing the opposite, say, to a policeman's instructions, for example - and,  rather oddly I have not seen that demonstrated in Vietnam (nor the UK, Germany, the USA, Canada, Peru, Mexico, Mozambique, France........... etc.

What you say might, however, account for why Vietnamese taxi drivers often take you somewhere other than where you want to go, unless you have google maps running on your phone, which I always do.

Another example of people not listening happened to me the other day when I came back from a meeting in Q1. My wife asked me how the meeting went and I said that it had been long and boring meeting and the air con in the meeting room made the air very dry, so on the way home I very nearly stopped at the Bia Craft bar in Thao Dien, for a beer.

I'd only got as far as "nearly stopped at the Bia ..." and she interjected with "Oh you went to the bar on your way home....?"

Ciambella wrote:

Reading and listening comprehension are NOT considered important by many people

eodmatt wrote:

I must  be a bit odd then, as I consider understanding what people say to be very important;

I didn't say reading and listening comprehension are not important.  I was saying many people do not consider them important.  You're not one of those people, and neither am I.  Still, for many, a quick response is more satisfied than taking the time to listen carefully or to read throughly.

eodmatt wrote:

I don't know the real reason for it, but it seems to be linked to the lack of spatial awareness that is common in most Asian women. They will step off an escalator and stop dead, blocking other peoples way and natter about something with a companion, completely oblivious to the chaos they are causing.

This behaviour is often also exhibited on exiting lifts, they take two steps and stop dead in front of the lift doors and chat.

I can attest to that.  We've been in Greece for 16 days now, and on every single day, we saw many Chinese tourists (men and women) walking about on the streets in three or fours, oblivious of buses honking for space and cars swerving around them.  I expect to see the same scenario for the entire time we're here. 

OTOH, that's also an Italian trait.  The Italians would stop smack dab anywhere to talk to one another without bothering to step to one side so other people can pass.  It was explained to me that no one in Italy was ever bothered by it, so there wasn't any need to change something that was part of the custom.

Ciambella wrote:

eodmatt wrote:

I don't know the real reason for it, but it seems to be linked to the lack of spatial awareness that is common in most Asian women. They will step off an escalator and stop dead, blocking other peoples way and natter about something with a companion, completely oblivious to the chaos they are causing.

This behaviour is often also exhibited on exiting lifts, they take two steps and stop dead in front of the lift doors and chat.

I can attest to that.  We've been in Greece for 16 days now, and on every single day, we saw many Chinese tourists (men and women) walking about on the streets in three or fours, oblivious of buses honking for space and cars swerving around them.  I expect to see the same scenario for the entire time we're here. 

OTOH, that's also an Italian trait.  The Italians would stop smack dab anywhere to talk to one another without bothering to step to one side so other people can pass.  It was explained to me that no one in Italy was ever bothered by it, so there wasn't any need to change something that was part of the custom.

Ah, yes I remember seeing that in Pisa when I visited the leaning tower many years ago. But on recent trips to Hong Kong the mainland Chinese tourists were terrible for blocking footpaths, roads, lifts, escalators and so on.

And there's another, related phenomenon, that I have observed: Like  shoals of fish, moving as if one entity, they will suddenly all go off in one direction after milling round aimlessly for maybe 5 or six minutes.

And I notice that in restaurants here in Saigon, a bunch of people will be "one two three yo ing" and getting it on and then suddenly, as if on a hidden signal, they all get up and leave. Fascinating to watch.

70 years old wrote:

I have been married to my "old war buddy," a woman who happens to be Vietnamese and worked for the American military, since 1971 and we are still married.

Unlike most posters here, I believe that women are women and it doesn't make that much difference where they are born. This is especially true today.

Sorry mate, but I have to respectfully disagree with you.  All of us have our opinions and different experiences in life.  Based on my relationships with women from 5 continents, there are differences based on culture, not sex.  I understand your point just as men are men in general, but we are not all the same and depending on where and when you were born, we have our differences.

I am not going to go into detail, but yes, VN women are women and have some similar traits as all women, but when it comes to marriage/family, how they react, what they expect etc., I see and experience material differences from the non-asian women in my life.  I doubt my VN wife is an exception and based on other relationships as well as friends, we agree, there are noticeable and differences.  Whether they are good or bad depends on the individual.

What i postulate is that those who have been in a marriage for a long time have become accustomed to their wife and may no longer see those differences.