Divorcing in Malaysia

Dear,

It's hard, I know. I'm also a foreign spouse away from all support and my husband is violent. I don't know what to advice you (I live in Singapore) but I wamt you to know that you deserve a better life. I think it's important, but extremely difficult, to let go of the anger, and the intention of hurting the other party. Support anyone you know that is also caught in similar situation, a disfunction relationship. You'll see light at the end of the tunnel.

Lots of love!!!

So, nobody is divorcing? I guess thats good news (?)

Im just learning about divorce here and will fill in whatever info i find useful.

There is separation, divorce, annulment and abandonment. Divorce in Malaysia wouldnt be cheap for a husband and the situation is worse when kids are involved. Many locals bypass formal proceedings by simply disappearing. In the case of Muslims, after 6 months of abandonment the wife can apply for divorce in her own right but without the permission to divorce by the husband, the proceedings can last for years, especially so in the cases where the husband or wife absconded with the children. Not sure about normal Malaysian laws but Muslim husbands, together with dividing assets, have to pay support to the wife until she re-marries and might never re-marry. I know a Muslim woman whose husband disappeared 20 years ago and the court still wont grant her divorce because the court says they need time to locate the husband and get his permission to divorce. I dont know about the husband but it sure ruined her life.

I think the best thing is to marry carefully. Choose really carefully. I think too many foreign men choose badly, need to sign prenups, behave badly, choose anything skinny with long hair etc. And keep money or property somewhere overseas.

If your partner is still a nice person when you divorce and you have children then don't be stingy. If you married when you were drunk and have regretted it ever since, then do a runner.

I agree.

I think people have an idea that marriage to a foreigner is easier, as if its not as completely serious a situation as their own country. But really its much harder because, for example, you are at the mercy of foreign laws which dont favor you and for some reason you dont feel very serious towards. So you have to choose much more carefully than at home, and how can you when you dont have the deep understanding the overall culture and how locals feel about it?

Because of that, i think there are a lot more runners than have been admitted. I know a few, one of them fathered three kids in Indonesia and one day he told his wife he was off to a meeting and instead hopped an airplane for Amsterdam and never went back. Three or four years later i think he sent her an email and said he was sorry and bye. Obviously, this had caused her and the kids giant problems and unfortunately many expats just dont take it very seriously as they would be expected to at home. Its all a big party or something, not really real.