To marry or not to marry? that's the question

David1946 wrote:

I was married for 38 years of my life and my wife passed away a few years ago and i have decided i want to spend the rest of my life single. 

                                  David1946

so sorry to hear that

HaileyinHongKong wrote:

There is a very easy solution for people who don't want to get married - don't get married.

That's right. We should do what we want to do. That's all.

narz4u wrote:

I am on my 30 now.. but with those frustrating things in the relationships, i don't think i need to hurry or best to say, i don't think marriage is still in my mind this time. But if someone will come and prove me that life is better to have someone to share with, why not?

That's great. You'll get married to someone who can make you happy.
Don't be a wife of someone who troubles you.

DWSA wrote:

To marry or not to marry? that's the question

When you meet someone that you have been searching for in your entire life, then you should get married.

Believe me I've been meeting people everyday, Once I approached a woman, but the whole thing felt like she was doing me a favor for talking to me and not to mention the phone number part. Another thing is that they never approached me, so I take that as a sign that it's just no meant to be. I'm just about to give up on them.
The purpose of this thread is for me to get different standpoints.

croatiancorner wrote:

listen to your heart. Personally I am for marriage because it gives me good feelings, security and sense of belonging

I only hear my heartbeats, I think that there's no solid foundation that backs up the opinion that to be happy we have to be in a relationship, there are many unhappy couples out there and stressful marriages beyond repair.

HaileyinHongKong wrote:

If a TV show can hurt your relationship, it wasn't very strong to begin with.

Where on this forum did I mention that I'm in a relationship or that it can hurt one? Try to read clearly and think before rushing to blurt out thoughtless remarks.

The Loner wrote:

DWSA wrote:

To marry or not to marry? that's the question

When you meet someone that you have been searching for in your entire life, then you should get married.

Believe me I've been meeting people everyday, Once I approached a woman, but the whole thing felt like she was doing me a favor for talking to me and not to mention the phone number part. Another thing is that they never approached me, so I take that as a sign that it's just no meant to be. I'm just about to give up on them.
The purpose of this thread is for me to get different standpoints.

Dude this is devastating, you need to stop to be negative. Life is short, do what makes you happy and forget what makes you sad.

HaileyinHongKong wrote:

What does sexual desire have to do with marriage?

At least she got something right.
Link to this:

Hericles wrote:

i don't know if that's ironic but it is believed that wives refuse to have s3x with their own husbands most of the times...

So yes, if you think you'll get sex in your marriages as often as you want you'll be disappointed, especially if the wife has an affair.Big problem.

stumpy wrote:

Loner
Your post is full of generalizations regarding marriage.
You are assuming that you are marrying for sex.
You are assuming that the wife will have an affair.

Whilst your remarks may apply to a very very small percentage of marriages, most marriages are far from how your perceive them to be.

Since obviously you are older and more experienced than me I'd expect you to agree with me. You better than me, have seen how things have changed along the generations. I don't need to quote how superficial women are nowadays and how is it so common that most marriages end up in divorce. I've read many forums about dysfunctional marriages,love not corresponded or mutual..etc. That's the basis of my views.

The Loner wrote:

...I've never had a female friend, let alone a girlfriend,
And i know nothing about them but I've been observing closer friends and men who are either engaged or have girlfriend and it seems like that i'm happier, wealthier, fitter and less stressed than them ! I came to the realization that i don't want the burdensome weights of a relationship i don't have time for this triviality my life is short.

For someone who in their initial posting openly admits to knowing nothing about women you seem to make a lot of sweeping and stereotypical generalizations about women.

I really think that the username that you've chosen also speaks volumes about your personality and clearly indicates that you are one of those people who simply should not marry. Not because marriage is not good, but rather that you simply have no concept of what marriage really is all about. Clearly not everybody should marry (not ever), but the unfortunate fact is that often they do and this is part of the reason for the high rate of divorce nowadays.

Women are not one bit more marterialistic than men are, not by any means. That said, our society has designated a role to them, an image if you will, what a married woman is or should be. If traditionally we men expect them to stay home, look after us and our children, that expectation has a cost. That doesn't make them materialistic, it just signifies that their WORK in doing what we expect has a monetary value. Far too many men expect a woman to do all of the above, yet also go out and work to support themselves and the family, while they themselves feel no obligation to support the woman who is taking care of THEM.

You look at marriage as a "burden" (your own words) which is not at all true. The only thing that really changes when one marries is that they take on some responsibility and accountability, but two individuals, with their own rights and freedoms still exist. The trick is to find a happy balance for that.

You may be happier, wealthier, fitter and less stressed now as a single person, but have you looked 30 or 40 years down the road? Do you really think that when you're no longer so fit and have to start paying for someone to take care of you (because you haven't a wife to help do that) you're still going to be as wealthy and less stressed than you are right now? Do you think that you will still be happier than all your friends who have long since been married? I certainly don't.

Getting married is certainly not like buying a car. We don't go out and look for the most beautiful and luxurious one we can find, safe in the knowledge that it comes with a guarantee and if something goes wrong with it we take it back and get it fixed with no extra charge. Nothing in life comes with guarantees. Marriage takes work, lots of it; but it is worth all the effort.

I think that one of the main problems with marriage nowadays is that young people are too into themselves, to self centered and think only of THEIR own personal needs, with little concern for the needs, wishes and ideas of others... so they marry and the conflict begins.

Cheers,
William James Woodward - Brazil & Canada Expert, Expat-blog Team

wjwoodward wrote:

.For someone who in their initial posting openly admits to knowing nothing about women you seem to make a lot of sweeping and stereotypical generalizations about women.

Mr WoodwardI'm aware that you've gone through a bitter divorce from a bad kind of woman who according to you, was interested in you when you were wealthy. And yet you haven't lost faith  in "true love" and remarried. But my views of women isn't something that I've just came up with, I went through real life situations and also observed the world around me that's how I developed this standpoint. Yes I'm a loner who I got sick and tired how the opposite sex tend to judge & reject too quickly based on culture background, race, financial status etc, I quit  approaching them. If you imply that there's someone out there then why I haven't met her yet? And why don't they approach me either? I think I'll travel around the world I'll live an adventure like most other single bloggers I've read about. Mr WoodwardI'm aware that you've gone through a bitter divorce from a bad kind of woman who according to you, was interested in you when you were wealthy. And yet you haven't lost faith  in "true love" and remarried. But my views of women isn't something that I've just came up with, I went through real life situations and also observed the world around me that's how I developed this standpoint. Yes I'm a loner who I got sick and tired how the opposite sex tend to judge & reject too quickly based on culture background, race, financial status etc, I quit  approaching them. If you imply that there's someone out there then why I haven't met her yet? And why don't they approach me either? I think I'll travel around the world I'll live an adventure like most other single bloggers I've read about.