Can you please introduce yourself and tell us about your background?
My name is Anja, and I'm an Expat Life and Mindset Coach. I have been living in Chile for quite a few years, but I have a somewhat international background. I was born in Spain to a German family and then spent most of my childhood in Chile. When I was 15, my family moved to Kenya, a country that will always have a special place in my heart. After finishing school in Kenya, I moved to England, where I studied Psychology and where my daughter was born. I lived in England for five years and then returned to Chile.
Where do you live currently and since when?
Four years ago, I moved to southern Chile near a city called Osorno, in northern Patagonia, where my partner's family farm is.
Tell us what made you want to go back after so many years of living abroad?
I had a wonderful childhood in Chile; I grew up in a big house with a swimming pool and spent my days playing with friends, climbing up trees, and going for bike rides. During summer, we would go for a whole month to the beach as a family or I would go for a few weeks to summer camp.
When my daughter was born, I was in England. I stayed there for a while but never really felt at home. Remembering my happy childhood, I decided that was the kind of life I wanted to offer her too. Plus, an important part of my family was still living in Chile.
Another part of my family was still in Kenya, so that was also an option for me. But that country didn't seem safe enough for me to live in with my daughter. So the decision to return to Chile was relatively easy.
Did you find it hard to adapt in Chile, especially with a young child?
Yes, I found it very hard. Thankfully, the language wasn't a problem. But I didn't expect the culture shock. I thought I was returning back home. But after spending all of my teenage and university years in other countries, I had changed. As had my needs. I was now a young mother, not a child anymore.
At first, I thought that an international background, being fully trilingual, and having an English degree would open up doors for me. But I was wrong. Being a young single mother was frowned upon, and my degree was useless.
What really opens up doors in this country is having a degree from one of the more renowned local universities and having a good network. Things may have changed since then, but that was my experience at the time.
What were the major challenges of relocating there, and how did you overcome them?
The major challenge I had to face was finding a job that would allow me to pay for all my expenses. Without the right national university degree or the right network, that was hard. And Chile can be quite an expensive country - especially quality healthcare and schooling.
Over time I did find a job that paid just enough. But I didn't enjoy it. It had nothing to do with what I had studied, and working hours were long. It took me a few years until I was ready to quit my 9-5 and finally be independent.
On the other hand, if I look at things from a different viewpoint - as a Psychologist and Mindset Coach, I can now clearly see that my own insecurity was my biggest problem. I was young, naïve, and felt lost. I was desperately trying to figure out how to be an adult and how to survive in this new culture I found myself in. I barely had any support and no guidance. How I wish I had known then the things I know now! Life would have been much easier...
What does the daily life of an expat in Patagonia look like?
I live alone with my partner in our farmhouse. My daughter has grown up and now lives in Santiago. My partner and his family take care of the farm, where they produce milk and beef. My partner also breeds Chilean horses.
I usually get up early in the morning and spend the first part of the day taking care of myself and my home. I exercise regularly, meditate daily, and I'm now also training my own horse - a dream come true for me. I often go for walks in the countryside. Nature is essential for my wellbeing, which is one of the many reasons I feel so blessed to be living here.
I usually work in the afternoons, but that may vary, depending on the client I'm working with that day and where in the world she is. Thankfully all my work is online, and all of my client meetings are via Zoom.
Whenever we can, my partner and I like going for short trips in the area, often either with my daughter or his sons. There is a lot to enjoy here if you like spending time in nature; lakes, rivers, forests, and volcanoes. There is great hiking, skiing, and riding, as well as wonderful hot water springs and spas. There are also some beautiful towns in the area with great food. I particularly like Valdivia and Frutillar.
Because of my partner's work, we spent a year in Pucón, a town I absolutely fell in love with, because of its restaurants and shops, its natural surroundings, and the wonderful people I met there - both Chileans and foreigners. I actually feel I finally found my place in the world!
Is there anything you miss from the places you have lived in, whether in Europe or Kenya?
Since I left Kenya I always felt I left a piece of my heart there. I always missed the wildlife, the golden sunsets, the red earth, safaris, and the international community.
However, since I arrived in southern Chile and was again surrounded by nature, and especially since discovering Pucón, I think I can finally let go of Kenya.
What made you want to be an Expat Life and Mindset Coach? Was that your dream career?
My dream was always to help others be happy. That is what motivated me to study Psychology and later be trained as a Cognitive Behavioural Therapist and a Mindfulness Practitioner. But it was many years after I finished my studies that I discovered coaching and immediately loved it. I particularly love how effective it is and its focus on the positive, on people's goals and strengths. I initially started working with young women who suffered from extreme anxiety. Helping them overcome their anxiety attacks and lead normal lives again was extremely rewarding. But having lived in different countries and knowing so well how difficult it can be to adapt to a new culture, especially if you're far away from family and friends or if you don't speak the local language, I finally decided to focus on that area.
What defines your job, and how do you help expats around the world? Is there a high demand for expat life and mindset coaching currently?
Thankfully, I can work with people from all over the world via Zoom from my house in the countryside.
When they first move, many expats have similar experiences. They initially feel happy and excited, as if they were on holiday. Until one day they realise they are not on holidays. That is when they suddenly start really missing their family and friends and start feeling overwhelmed by all they need to do to make their new country home. It becomes important for them to fit in and make friends, to feel they belong. Being far away from their loved ones, they often feel isolated and want to make meaningful connections, but they don't speak the local language well, and they don't yet understand the new culture they are immersed in - which behaviours are acceptable and which aren't. So they try to adapt themselves to the new culture, and along the way, they feel they lose their identity.
I have a client who, in her home country, was a very empowered, outgoing, sociable businesswoman. But when she arrived at her new country, one in which the same language is spoken as in her home country, but where the slang is different, as are the cultural rules, she found it very hard to leave her house, meet new people, network, and continue her work on her business. The culture shock was affecting her whole life, even the relationship with her partner, who didn't recognise the woman he had by his side anymore because she had changed so much. She started doubting herself and hiding from the world more and more.
That is a pattern I see happening over and over again. Culture shock can be devastating to someone's life, business, and relationships.
And that is what I help my clients with - adjusting to their new country and their new life. I recently developed a 12-week programme through which I help my clients remember the confident, independent person they are. I teach them techniques to overcome their insecurity so they can express their true personality and make meaningful connections. I support them as they learn how things work in their new country, and I guide them in the process of making their new country home - a place where they belong, and they can feel comfortable. As a result, they not only create a new life they are happy with but also experience enormous personal growth, the relationship with their spouse strengthens. So, they get to enjoy the country they are in while immersing themselves in the local culture.
In my experience, the demand for expat coaching is increasing. More and more people around the world are hiring coaches and discovering the tremendous impact good coaching can have in their lives. And the pandemic has forced many of us to work from home, having most of our meetings through Zoom. So expats are now more open than ever to work with a coach online. An added benefit is that they can choose the right coach for themselves, no matter where in the world they are.
Did the pandemic have an impact on your job?
The pandemic impacted my job in different ways.
On the one hand, there is more competition in the online world now that many are looking for alternative incomes and for work they can do from home. Coaching seems an easy option because the industry is completely unregulated. Anyone can call themselves a coach. Unfortunately, that also means many coaches out there are not very skilled and end up leaving clients with a very negative impression of what coaches do.
On the other hand, people are now more open than ever to have meetings via Zoom with someone who is literally on the other side of the world. Just a few years ago, I had clients who would only hire me if they could have in-person sessions with me. That has completely changed now.
If you had to go through all of your moves all over again, is there anything you would have done differently?
I would have prepared better. I would have researched more about the country I was moving to - in my case, Chile. I would have spoken to expats who had already made the move to find out what their impression of the country and culture is, what their experience was like, and what challenges they faced.
Do you have any advice for expat women around the world who are struggling to adapt to their new country?
Don't lose yourself in the process of adapting to your new country. Listen to yourself, your feelings, your desires, your needs and your values.
Find expat friends. Even if you don't want to live in an expat bubble, having a few expat friends is important. They understand what you are going through and can give you excellent advice.
And remember, you don't need to face all challenges alone. There are experts out there who can help you - coaches, therapists, relocation companies - as well as different apps, platforms, and groups. Reach out to them.
Moving to a new country and creating a whole new life for yourself is hard enough; there is no need to do it alone.
