Listen to them
Every now and then pose these two questions to your spouse: “How do you feel?” and “what do you need?” However, don't expect to always get a definite and clear answer, as expatriation can be confusing and self-doubting for the accompanying partner. Show your spouse that it's totally okay to not have all the answers at once and that you are there to help them get started with job searching, networking, or whatever it is they want to dedicate time and effort on in the new country.
Acknowledge culture shock
You have probably both been preparing for the stages of culture shock: honeymoon period, frustration, adjustment, and acceptance. However, when you have to deal with the challenges of an unknown work environment, new colleagues, and a hefty workload, you might shift faster from one emotion to another, or you may even ignore overall the impact of culture shock. Remember though that your partner has more alone time to process internal awareness, and may be much more connected to his or her feelings.
Introduce your colleagues
Your partner loves you, and with love comes a genuine interest in all things new that happen to you — colleagues being one of them. Organise a fun night out with your new coworkers to introduce your partner to them. Nevertheless, resist centring the conversation around work, as this will most likely make your partner an outsider. You can both see this meeting as an opportunity to expand your social network, make new friends, and possibly hear about work opportunities for your partner or connect with other expat couples who are in a similar position.
Keep your spouse in the loop
One of the risks is to feel disconnected from your partner due to the different lifestyle you follow in your host country. However, if you both talk about your goals, the hardships, and future on a regular basis, you can prevent the emotional distance between you. Involve your partner in whatever disturbs you or makes you happy about your new work and social environment, and give them the chance to be fully part of your life abroad. After all, you have made this decision together, and you are both in this adventure.
Help them build a network
If your partner doesn't have a routine outside the house, it can be complicated to create a social network; even more so because they are in a foreign country, where they may not even speak the local language. Apart from introducing them to your colleagues as mentioned above, you can make some practical suggestions such as joining expat groups, or encouraging them to attend expat events, even if you cannot make it. Being by themselves will probably mean that they will speak to more new people than they would if you were together.
Inspire them to do something fulfilling
Living abroad opens the doors to a whole lot of opportunities and fresh ideas. If your spouse is not motivated to see these opportunities, take the time to show them what they can do with their time and energy, and remind them of their talents. From language classes and online learning to volunteering for the local community and why not, establishing their business.
Find work-life balance
It's not easy to achieve work-life balance, especially when you are starting a new job and your employer has set the expectations high — your expat recruitment is a big investment after all. Of course, you expect your spouse to be understanding if you turn down a dinner invitation or ask them to do the shopping alone due to work and tiredness. However, don't prioritise work over time with your partner systematically because most likely you are posing a threat to your relationship. Check with your manager and the HR the company's regulations, and discuss for example flexible working hours. Working from home every now and then will give you more time with your partner. Also, avoid checking your work emails over the weekends, on holidays, or at dinner.
Include your spouse's family
If you notice signs of homesickness in your partner's behaviour, give them something to be looking forward to. There's nothing better for a homesick expat than a spontaneous trip back home or a plan with a friend or family member to visit them to their new country. The latter will also give your spouse a good reason to get to know their surroundings, find the best coffee shops and restaurants, discover hidden gems and local markets so that they can show their guests. Also, the arrival of guests will motivate them to make your home cosy for everyone to enjoy.
Consider counselling
Expat life can put a strain on the relationship, especially when your partner has given up their job to be with you, or they are struggling to adapt to the new life abroad. If none of the above suggestions seems to release the tension between you and your partner, try consulting a professional. An expert will give you and your partner guidance and coping mechanisms, which will show you the fastest way out of what feels like a maze of negative emotions and problems.
Demonstrate trust
Expatriation has brought up fundamental questions, such as “what is the best for each partner individually and what for both of you as a whole?” Regardless of what the answer is, as long as you have trust in your partner and respect for their opinion and needs, there's no chance that you won't smash your expat project together.
