Please help me!

SA dear
First of all I wanna say don't put yourself under pressure because all of us making mistakes and Allah is great and forgiving us if we confess our mistake and intended to correct that mistake..

Simply without complicated details , marriage عرفي in Egypt is not a marriage because our law is confirming the only certified marriage here.
If we have couples with عرفي  marriage here, they have only 2 ways, 1- if they love each other they'll make a certified marriage as fast as they can to have legal and clean relationship.

2- they feel they made a mistake and started to hate each other ( and that's normal because of guilty feeling) they just burn the paper and live their life like they never married before.

You have the brief now about the situation here in Egypt, it's your choice now
If you need further details you're most welcome to send me private message and I'm in your side anytime.

Allah forgive all of us by his mercy ISA

G.morning.hope fine. Well with my little knowledge  In muslim marriages, one of the conditiond is that it had to be revealed to people noy hidden. Though is slill legal after all.but as u say it is matter of dignity not to tell people.if he really loves u , he will want to let everybody meet u.unless u accept this.something else it is just a paper with no proofs or rights.if he cut it pieces , he doesn, t own u any rights or marriage proof.try think what u really want and talk with him.God helps u.

what's عرفي ? orfi?

Yes - زواج عرفي - Orfi/Urfi marriage.

I can't even believe you have to ask if you're legally married when you don't even have a single piece of paper that states you're married, nor do you have any other evidence that can prove you're married! Come on!

1. Orfy is Halal when it is announced to the people who know both of you.
2. Egyptian men do not do it in general
3. Orfy is acceptable in Mazhab Shafie (but it is law problem)
4. Wait till december and see
5. Do you have a paper signed from him with 2 witnesses? if not ... you can just forget about this marriage and ask God to forgive you

may you have further questions please write back to me

yours
Dr. Islam

thankyou for your answer. yes he told me that he'll certificated our married after his first wife leave egypt. but i don't know further, if he lies, maybe he'll not certificated, if don't we'll get married.

to let human know, no one in this world want to be shared and of course they'll not accept if her husband had another wife. i felt lose, if i knew he married i won't flirt with him. i just want to let everything go, its been 9 months and i can't handle more shit.

orfi is a secret marriage, without any certificated, that paper will not registered at government, certain people believe thus marriage and certain is not. its depend bcs in islam we have a lot of opinion.

samiraminetti wrote:

I can't even believe you have to ask if you're legally married when you don't even have a single piece of paper that states you're married, nor do you have any other evidence that can prove you're married! Come on!

my husband take that paper bcs if i let that paper with me, it could be more trouble bcs i'll damaged that paper if everything happen, but its just not registered only. thats it.

elgaly wrote:

1. Orfy is Halal when it is announced to the people who know both of you.
2. Egyptian men do not do it in general
3. Orfy is acceptable in Mazhab Shafie (but it is law problem)
4. Wait till december and see
5. Do you have a paper signed from him with 2 witnesses? if not ... you can just forget about this marriage and ask God to forgive you

may you have further questions please write back to me

yours
Dr. Islam

thankyou for the response, yes i have that paper but not with me, its with my husband. he take the caution to let paper with him, bcs if not i'll destroy it and we'll forget each other. anyway, he doing that bcs he can't married me due to he married to an australian woman, and western law is illegal if a man married more than one. he fear that if his wife knew that he married to another one, he'll get sue. thats why. i really hope this gonna end, really i can't handle this shit anymore. im 21years and i deserved something good to me pass on the life. and i also can't handle this when im not still studying. everything fuck up, i failed many subjects this year. i can't, i feel lost of dignity.

i know that i did a wrong mistake, and i want to fix it. but it seems didnt work as i thought.

Do not give up... even if he lies try to be patient and do not let him go... not too much pursuing but keep in touch till you get the papers from him. In this moment you can go and ask a lawyer to get the certificate for you and it will work. Focus on your study to finish it and do not stop asking him to marry you. By the way do not listen to anyone who say to you: if you get a baby you can mend the things.... bcs if you get the baby but could not fix it you will be really lost.

Allah Almowafeq

elgaly wrote:

Do not give up... even if he lies try to be patient and do not let him go... not too much pursuing but keep in touch till you get the papers from him. In this moment you can go and ask a lawyer to get the certificate for you and it will work. Focus on your study to finish it and do not stop asking him to marry you. By the way do not listen to anyone who say to you: if you get a baby you can mend the things.... bcs if you get the baby but could not fix it you will be really lost.

Allah Almowafeq

i won't fight for that, really i won't. bcs when i met him before the first thing i ask him ''did you married?" and he told me no. that why i have a friendship with him. i dont know how to get rid of him. a do a lot of stuff to make him leave me and stay with his wife but he refused, he want to divorce his wife when she leave. its too difficult to trust someone that give bad expectation about marriage and love.

So he lied to you about his marital status, and is lying to his wife (first wife), going behind her back to marry someone she doesn't know, all while telling you he plans to divorce her...Is his name Iblees by any chance?  Seriously what kind of devil did you get involved with. I would personally run as far as my legs can carry me, focus on studies, then hope it resolves itself, or deal with it after your exams. Does it matter that it's dealt with now? What difference does it make if you ignore it and deal with it when you have a break from studies? If you're doing it so you can move on completely, hopefully someone can advise you on how to terminate it asap.  But if you can be patient, and that it's not time-sensitive,  then I would focus on studies, and hope the Shaytan will do the right thing for once.

focus on your study

you ask for help >>> what is exactly the help needed ????

concerning he cant marry you ( certified ) because of his australian wife , i would say to you ; that Australian law is not applied here

concerning orfi marriage is legal or not ......... you will find many different opinions .......  but the difference is based on religious opinions ..........  difference only elated to the religion ...........    BUT , in court , the orfi marriage is not accepted ........ you can't go to court to ask divorce ...........   it is not legalized marriage .................   maybe the only case that  court "may" study a case of orfi marriage ; is when there are kids  born and to prove paternity

concening you still his wife in malaysia ; yes .... you are his wife in every place ..  because you accepted this orfi marriage


i don't know if i could help or not ... you can ask if you feel need more info