How to make friends in Vaud

hi

how does one find out how many people on this forum

dee

The Vaud expat network may help?

Hi all,

I have been living in Lausanne in Vaud for almost a year and have not yet made any friends of my own (luckily I have my wife's family and friends to keep up something of a social life).

From previous jobs in England I found that most of my colleagues were happy to socialise, and we would often go out together as a group. I haven't really seen that since working in Switzerland, so I wondered if it is something that happens less here than in England?

Well, is nothing new. I do not know what is going on but certainly it hangs from a very general attitude. Even when I have been travelling I`ve met students and people who had lived in Switzerland and is the same story: "no friends".
The point is:
-If you are open, the people mistrust you and think you want to get a profit or something from them (even friendship seems a negative profit).
-If you are closed, obviously and logically you will not have friends.
Maybe the QUESTION SHOULD BE:
" Are they interested to make friendship with you ?????? "

Yes - i think it is difficult to make friends here. I have noticed when you go out with a new group they seem to be reluctant to let you in..... so am I going to make any friends living here in Montreux!!! huh....

I think that to try to adapt to the local culture is also to know the local culture. And the Swiss culture is kinda "valley" culture: closed in a particular (narrow) criterion. Nowadays that implies, unfortunately with realistic, a criterion of "race".

By the way, also you have to know that among Swiss population the bounds with a more human character as friendship, love, family, are not deep and rather superficial to almost a "formal" way to relate. fundamentally, if family is not a strong and deep bound, the rest, by default, can not be deep, including marriage.

Interesting discussion...I'm a 40-year old swiss citizen, I live in Vaud since 1992, but I was growing up in the east/center of Switzerland.

To make it short: Yes, it is very difficult to make friends here, that's just the way we are, and it's the same for us...if you move to another valley, they might treat you like a stranger, too. For instance, all of my friends here in Lausanne are strangers, although I know many people from here, it's just very hard to become friends with them.
In my office, I work with 2 guys, both in their late fifties, they live about 15 minutes from each other, and they've been working together for more than 12 years, yet I'm pretty sure they never met after work, they might not even know each other's wives...


My advice to all of you expats is not to worry about it, fortunately, there are many expats living in Switzerland now, and if you hang out together, you'll occasionally meet a native Swiss, who knows..

Actually, one day I went to Bern and, as how I am, I started talking with the person next to me on a cafe (as i usually do in trains, cafes, etc).
She was from Zurich, she had moved to Luzern Kanton; but she went back because she said that the people from that village treated her bad just because she was not from that Katon.
I thought it was just to non-Swiss.
Anyway, thanks for your commentary :-) !!!!

I've had another wise expat explain it like this:
Westerners, especially Americans are like a peach... it doesn't take much to get through our thin exterior.  We invite you over once and we are "good friends". We start to talk about more personal things, opinions, family, work, etc and are very open very quickly. The Swiss are more like a coconut...The exterior is much thicker and tougher to get through. It takes time and patience. Think of relationships in terms of a lifetime, not just the next 6 months or so.  If there are clubs you can join, this will help. The fitness club, lang. club, cycling, etc. You are more likely to find interest in friendship there.

A great resource if you can find it.. "More Than Chocolate"
hope this helps... it isn't you, or that you are necessarily an expat! Relationships build slowly in Swiss culture.