How to make friends in the Philippines

Hi Donna

I am just a stranger passing through, but want to leave you with words of encouragement, keep up the good work to support your family, I admire what you're doing, as the saying goes; "No one knows Gods love better than mothers do, the sacrifice, the heartaches when you're so far away missing your family; please allow me to quote from the book of Jeremiah....."For I know the plan I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a future and hope." You have the confidence to get you where you want to be when you have the Lord on your side.

May God prosper you beyond what you can hope for or think.

Peter 

I'm an old man.  I've had very few friends, because by my definition, friends are people I love and would help in anyway I can because I feel they would do the same for me. 

I'm sociable enough, but i would categorize 99.9% of the people I deal with as associates.  My associates and I are generally of the same educational and income level.  They are people with whom I have something in common and with who I want to be around because I enjoy being in their presence.  I meet them because we like the same things and inevitably wind up in the same places.

Friends, on the other hand, are people with whom I have an inexplicable bond. We just get along because we get along.  Money, social position, religious and political affiliation have nothing to do with it.  I have (not many) friends I don't see for years at a time, yet I know they will step up to the best of their ability if I ask for something.  I hope I have nurtured those relationships to the extent that they know I would make the same effort.

In my opinion, you can't go out expecting to make a friend.  But you can hope. You can do the things you like to do in the places you like to go and wind up meeting people you like because they wouldn't be there unless you had similar interests, You may call them friends if you're so inclined

Sad to hear of your story...I have met a lady from samar...calbayog and was thinking of live there but maybe I should take her far from her family....always asking for money and very poor.
Take care...
Ken

Hello
Easy :
You need 3 things
-1 table
- some seat
- 15 red horse
Put the seat around the table and all the red horse on the middle of he table , and wait 😂😂😝

hello

Good to have a few friends locally of your own "Race" and more importantly to meet over the next ten years! Some chaps I met during shopping trips I invited to join our monthly meetup and disappointingly a fraction turned up to say hello, cannot understand why the absence, we are a decent group. Over the years though the group has split up and it was caused by the wives and petty gossip, sad really because the guys were fun to be with and obviously enjoyed the company.  If we had our time again I'd choose an area rich in expat life and establish a weekly meetup as a precedent. We've lived in several places in the Philippines and no where is there a bar where drinkers can "rub shoulder" with other patrons and of course make contact....very sad.

Peter Clark wrote:

We've lived in several places in the Philippines and no where is there a bar where drinkers can "rub shoulder" with other patrons and of course make contact....very sad.

Have you been to a bar in the US during St. Patrick's Day? Front/back of you against other people and you have not gotten your drink yet. 😱Before Covid.
I also saw/experienced the same at a hotel bar downtown Manhattan. And that's along Avenue of the Americas.

Peter Clark wrote:

Good to have a few friends locally of your own "Race" and more importantly to meet over the next ten years! Some chaps I met during shopping trips I invited to join our monthly meetup and disappointingly a fraction turned up to say hello, cannot understand why the absence, we are a decent group. Over the years though the group has split up and it was caused by the wives and petty gossip, sad really because the guys were fun to be with and obviously enjoyed the company.  If we had our time again I'd choose an area rich in expat life and establish a weekly meetup as a precedent. We've lived in several places in the Philippines and no where is there a bar where drinkers can "rub shoulder" with other patrons and of course make contact....very sad.

Old post but it would have beem a bit interesting to know why they were stoped by wives and gossip IF they were a decent group      
Bars I find being among the least good place type to have meetings at. I wouldn't go to meetings in a bar (except perhaps one time to see if there are any of them I would want to meet elsewhere...)

It can be nice though to now and then get chance to speak with people with "western" culture. And speak in own father's language.  The later I aim at solving by convince a friend from back in Elementary school to move to Phils     instead of moving to Thailand. (His gf is from Thailand, but I have managed to make him concider Phils anyway. His plan was to go and check Phils some montths starting February this year, but he had to cancel it because of covid.)

mitte34 wrote:

leave a wad of bills stick out of your pocket so everyone can see

Better UNPAID bills, so get TRUE friends   

I have got "friends" sorted away by themselves by I never pay anything when the ASK   (except when a family couldn't afford enough antibiotics for an almost dead 3 yo boy)
while others I have known several years without they have asked for anything (exceptt info.)

Thanks I love this.

I think it would be a mistake to live in Thailand simply because their culture is so very different to ours. The Philippines has had European and American affectations for many years and English is widely spoken.
Meetings in Bars surely is not the ideal place for chatting but simply an atmosphere experience where English is heard all over. I did try Angeles for some trips because I found a good fishing place not far away and we could enjoy catching some fish and then meet English speaking guys in the night clubs. Sadly the expats there are from all over the globe and I didn't enjoy the atmosphere very much.
Barreto in Subic is very different and my choice to grab some atmosphere.  A Swedish chap owns the "Harley's pub restaurant and their is a large bar area where large screen TVs show sporting events. Room rates are very reasonable and the staff are friendly. A 15 minute walk away is the "Midnight Rambler" that is another bar and restaurant based on UK meals and favorite snacks like Beans on toast and bangers and mash. The weekends have loud live bands and if you walk along the main road there are night clubs for the slap and tickle chasers but not as busy as Angeles. the busses run from Manila and you can sit on a bus direct to Barreto and be dropped at the "Rambler"... a few hours mind you. Some of the night clubs are owned by UK guys and most have pool tables.

Hi 👋

I met an English guy in a bar up in Tagaytay where he had a large bar area and barbecue set up. This chap was a retired English teacher and had a schooner moored in Scotland. We got on very well and met at other times for chats at our house in Leisure Farms. He appreciated our chats because he could not have a decent conversation with his g/f. He was a regular visitor to a resort in the Philippines where he admitted to buying the "Weed" and he was looking for a boat to spend time o so that he could partake in his habit. His temporary homes here were rented and the accommodation was a bit squalid, tea was made by heating water in a microwave. My wife would receive phone calls from his g/fs complaining about physical abuse and so these friends would change round every few weeks. The last one had a brother in the police force and threatened prison if he beat up his sister again.                                   We had a pleasant guy here in San Pablo with Filipino wife and daughter, he opened up a bar and barbecue place across the road and we all got on well. Originally from Guernsey and a chef as tradesman. One day the family left very suddenly and a string of local trades people approached us asking for the families whereabouts. the owner of rented accommodation was owed some rent, a hardware store was owed money and even a Gas/drinks business close by was owed over 120,00 pesos! This guys character was persuasive and he would make requests that you could easily fall for, a trusting sort of bloke. I was embarrassed and wrote to the UK embassy to catch this chap but no response.  We get all sorts in the Philippines. Buyers beware and making friends also beware!

(omo)
Not being able to pay all your bills/living on credit & thinking that you deserve/can afford to live/party like some other expats which may include their need for weed/clubing/dining out daily is just asking for trouble; not only for yourself but also for the fellow expats you have associations with...don't forget that you are always being watched by the locals.
Thats why I always prefer to stick with my "low cost" home pot luck parties....all expat members/partners bring along their own food/drinks (NO WEED welcome here) which we all share with one another & have a great time.

Peter Clark wrote:

I met an English guy in a bar up in Tagaytay where he had a large bar area and barbecue set up.

We got on very well and met at other times for chats at our house in Leisure Farms. He appreciated our chats . . . . .
             
We had a pleasant guy here in San Pablo with Filipino wife and daughter, he opened up a bar and barbecue place across the road and we all got on well. . . . .

Buyers beware and making friends also beware!

It's hard to judge a persons character, the more glib they are, the easier for a person to be roped in.

These characters have honed their skills throughout their lifetime.

When engaging them look for any inconsistency, over time you should notice.

Cyrill wrote:

Filipinos are known for their hospitality, in line with that is its very accommodating and approachable trait. Filipinos are easy to get along and fun to be with.

True. As long as the foreigner picks up the tab 

Yup

ewong wrote:

it is really very easy to make friends in my country. one of the easiest way is to put a chair outside you house take off your shirt put it on you shoulder buy a bottle of Gin (ginebra san miguel)for only 50 pesos(1$) after three or four days you will have a lot of friends some are true and some are only for the Gin. but its easy to sort it out. ^_^

(ewongs post >10yrs ago)
Still applies today... except for the price & end result. Local Gin now costs about 100p ($2) which is fine but sadly now its very much harder to meet/get to know genuine ones.

Enzyte Bob wrote:

It's hard to judge a persons character, the more glib they are, the easier for a person to be roped in.
These characters have honed their skills throughout their lifetime.

Well. Yes, it can be hard specialy the exersised scammers,
but some wictims dont seem to have any judgement skill at all.
/EYES  can tell much about basic good/bad heart.  Thats a reason I judge correct mostly, except I have problem to judge people with glasses by the glasses change the persons look.

/MOUTH can tell that too AND atitude.   If edges of mouth point up sharp, some perhaps interpreete that as sniling, but better run  to avpid   

/EYEBROWS.  Can show both too, but mainly stupid  OR if have bad attitude.

Enzyte Bob wrote:

When engaging them look for any inconsistency, over time you should notice.

Yes.  Thats how I expose some of the harder ones, add chance by asking much to make them answer not suitimg to what they have answered before.

Theres deception "everywhere" in the world and we must all keep on our toes. Its getting bad in the USA also.                                                                                                                                                                                I have been deceived and manipulated here(It happens everywhere ) but I am learning the ropes. Living here 9 years I am almost

to the top and ready to ring the bell! Lotus its ok to pick up the tab once in a while but we shouldnt make a

habit of it...We foreigners must get rid of this image that we are ALL rich. Its just  NOT true. Some

retirees with 2-3 pensions come here and spread their cash around and promote the concept. They are

bad examples of the average American..Most of us are not rich. We retire in another country that we can afford to live in-most of us... May God

bless the Philippines......JIMMY

I used to give money to the beggars here but stopped doing that. Seems like they are every 10 meters apart here on the main street. I do give when I see someone in need collecting cardboard or cans to recycle and its obvious they need some help. Sometimes they thank me and sometimes they just give me a strange look. Theres a guy here living on the streets and I think hes from Iran but not sure. Hes a bit crazy as a police officer who knows him told me he was. I have seen him for about 5 years.When I am riding my motorbike and I see this guy I stop to give him some money and he starts touching me all over(to thank me) but I just move away from him because hes really not clean and possibly has a disease. Theres usually 3 or 4 places he sleeps usually on side walks just laying there talking to himself. I told the police officer once that if we could find out what country he was from I would be glad to get him cleaned up and buy him a plane ticket back to his country but the police officer said he was crazy and dint really seem interested in dealing with this guy.. Sometimes we can just help others so much and try to remember how fortunate we  are and also try to understand  theres a reason for everything and why some people have more than others. Its a real dilemma. I just dont know what to do about this guy but give him some money for food when I do see him and leave the rest in God's hands. Saw him last week and gave him a back pack with some necessities like tooth paste tooth brush and a comb,face mask.money and coins and other things he doesnt have-probably cant go into a store as he is really dirty on the outside. Dont know what else I can do......Hes been living this way over 5 years now and must have somewhere he sleeps. If he was in his right mind I would take him home and get him a shower and new clothes but then what can I do? I cant send him back to the streets and cant let him stay with me as its impossible to carry on a conversation with this guy and he keeps putting his hands on me and it would  be unsafe for him to live with me. Any ideas from forum members will be appreciated ....JIMMY

I've met most of my friends there through Facebook and YouTube. We all met a few years back and had a great time together. Great to in that a few are from a beautiful island I wasn't aware of . So I'll have guides there to help me find  when I visit next time.

Funny you mentioned Facebook.  FB is amazing as I can keep up with my 3 friends (beach buds) in Pinas.  I have asked their permissions to share their pics here and none of them objected (2 said yes, 1 did not say no so that's a yes to me, plus I'll get to meet her this year God-willing for the 4th time and what -- 1,000th+ time on videochats now so all of them I am super close with). 

Hopefully I'll get to vlog our past and future adventures in the future, if only to help fund our expenses.   That's a dream for me.   

Many of the expats do not use the Facebook and if you want to make friends you have to physically smile or nod and introduce yourself. Difficult at first but the more you do it the easier it becomes. My first contact was a chap pushing trolley from SM who looked like an English guy to me. We became friends and he remarked that he would not have been able to do what I'd done. So its not easy. Looks and appearances help you choose who you want to make friends with and of course your wives will effect the friendship.

This is true.

one really must take the initiative to try to interact with one another to build connections (such as my post inquiring about other Foreigners here in Pampanga/Clark area as I did a few months back).  Though success online in a digitial arena can be quite trying or challenging.

You will find that foreigners have their own lives - especially those who are in committed relationships with the obligations of family if they have any here.

But similar to you, I've had my luck connecting with a few foreigner men such as myself simply following a modest nod at the store or otherwise, and we have often had great success with building connections and friendships since then.

All of the friends I met were Pinays. I was raised by my mother and grandmother so get along with women better. I just sleep in living room at rented condo in Philippines.  They sleep in bedroom together .  I wish you the best in meeting your friend in Philippines.  Yes video chatting is good way to get to see a person's true self. Long ago we only had letter writting .....hihi😢

I never met many foreigners in cebu or elsewhere in 20 years there. They mostly seemed distant and I'm not one to push a conversation. Agreed many are probably so busy with their wife and her family they don't have the time. I had met a few guys there though. Very helpful though in sharing  our tips on adjusting there as a visitor .

gwaps wrote:

All of the friends I met were Pinays. I was raised by my mother and grandmother so get along with women better. I just sleep in living room at rented condo in Philippines.  They sleep in bedroom together .

Clarification needed:

Who sleeps in bedroom together while you sleep in living room?  Your Pinay friends or your mother and grandmother?

Since my mother and grandmother are both deceased it would be hard for them.

I have noticed the same thing, that foreigner's in other countries, including here, seem very distant.  There are 2 or 3 that live near me, that we have had conversations and exchanged numbers, but just on the street, no.

gwaps wrote:

Since my mother and grandmother are both deceased it would be hard for them.

You The Man then!   

@benmag how can I join organisational groups on Instagram or facebook

😄

I most often meet expats in restaurants or maybe while I'm waiting on my wife to get out of the CR in a mall.  I always smile and give a nod of acknowledgement and if they seem agreeable I'll ask where they live and where they're from.  While most have been friendly to chat, a few don't seem interested so I don't push it.

That said, I joined PCGA and have plenty of pinoy friends there and I speak with Americans every day via ham radio, so the lack of Americans in my area doesn't bother me.

I meet other expats on a few Expat Only Groups that are focused on those that are Living in The Philippines. there are 2 that stand out to me as being very legit and very active.

Alternatively, there is of course Expat.com !

I see many foreigners in Clark or Angeles, or even in Makati/BGC (Albeit i do not go down to Manila as often anymore), but i always give a polite hello with a modest head nod whenever i come into close contact with one, and accommodate for any conversation that might come up.