Marrying a Tunisian man

You can only determine that for yourself.   There used to be alot of advice on tunisia.com but I believe that forum was discontinued.    Typically the advice was all very negative I found.   You may want to read http://www.tunisianloverats.com/.   There are also alot of ladies who have married and are happy.  A big red flag is if they start asking for money.   You will see all the stories on that site I sent.  Then you can judge for yourself.

Yes it is, Dear Nicole. Don't know who gave you those in formation, but I can assure you that this person (The one who tipped you up), is a trustful friend.
That's why Tunisia will always stay behind every country in the world... Parents stuck to old way of thinking, Kids running after papers, and so on...
Obviously, we're talking about the average Tunisian Falks.
Just have a look on his background... If he's lower middle class, just run away.
If not, maybe it could work, but, am quiet pessimistic.
Good Luck !

NicoleAyedi wrote:

Hello I am 37 with kids i am engaded to a 25 year old Tunisian man. I have recently heard that men in Tunisia are qnever allowed by their parents to marry an older women most less one with kids unless it is for the sake of getting papers to live in another country. That they will divorce and take a Tunisian wife later on. I am curious to know if this is the truth.

Hi Nicole Ayedi,

It's not just in Tunisia where it's uncommon for 25 year old single men to marry older women with kids. It's uncommon all around the world for obvious reasons. What's common in Arab countries, is for men to marry younger single women, even at times, much younger than in other parts of the world.

Keep in mind Tunisia has a huge level of unemployment. There is little to no prospects & opportunities for many of the young there. As such many are looking for any way out to escape from this miserable situation. So out of desperation, they & their family will do and accept anything to get papers to any developed country where they have better chances of improving their lives.

Usually what happens is once they get those papers and settle abroad permanently, they no longer *need* the person they are "married" to, since they've now accomplished their goal of settling abroad (i.e they divorce them).

There is nothing wrong with wanting to move to a country with a higher quality of life, but using someone to do that, exploiting them, taking advantage of them, misleading them into believing it's a genuine loving marriage, is wrong, and disgustingly selfish. Simply ask yourself, if he was already living in your area, would he honestly be interested in getting married to you, or is it more likely he will seek someone of a similar age, no kids, and background? Don't allow anyone to use you to achieve their own goals in life. You will end up paying the price financially, emotionally, and mentally.

Thank you for your opinion and i have thought about this honestly myself. He has even said something about doing a contract so that I know he never wants to divorce.   Something that keeps me safe. I thought it is just a way to make me feel better. I have dated younger men before here  but never this big of a gap. I honestly did not see him coming. My ex husband was 7 years younger than me and we were together 13 years. I do agree with what you are saying. I should look at it as if would he be intrested in me if he was here.

It is not the norm and usually another man's children are not accepted, but there are exceptions to that rule. There are good and bad people everywhere and you just have to keep your eyes open.

NicoleAyedi wrote:

Thank you for your opinion and i have thought about this honestly myself. He has even said something about doing a contract so that I know he never wants to divorce.   Something that keeps me safe. I thought it is just a way to make me feel better. I have dated younger men before here  but never this big of a gap. I honestly did not see him coming. My ex husband was 7 years younger than me and we were together 13 years. I do agree with what you are saying. I should look at it as if would he be intrested in me if he was here.

A contract to say he will never divorce you.....................are you kidding??  It is not normal for a Tunisian male to marry someone older, they want children of their own and not normal for them to accept the children of another man.  You need to understand that the majority of mixed marriages will fail, in fact you can look up the stats if you want.  The figures tell that 98% of foreign women married to a Tunisian male end in divorce.  Think seriously about this relationship and the underlying reasons he wants to marry you.

He has never asked me for anything and pays gor my tickets to come to see him in Tunisia. He sends me things in the mail all the time. When I am there in Tunisia with him he pays for everything. If I even try to use my money he tells me no that it is not for me to pay. He has never asked me for anything at all. This is why I am asking advice and opinions. He even asked me to live with him in Tunisia. I of course can't at the moment.  I will be staying with him for 3 months this summer after my graduation and have chose to put the wedding off until then just to see how things go. Thank you for your advice i will look up the website link you suggested.

That's a sad statement
I was born in Tunisia living in the USA for 45 years... Married to my American wife for 40 years
Kids-grd kids-

Don't underestimate all Tunisian men..lol

Olivier zitoun

Tunisiandolly - I sent her a message explaining all that, and the real reason why he 'wants' her. I also told her no such contract exists! All of it is very obvious to me, as I'm from a very similar culture and mentality!

In response to her latest comment - Of course he isn't going to ask her for anything because he doesn't want her to suspect he is just using her. And of course he will pay for everything, as it's his 'investment' for a visa to the USA. So it's well worth the cost for him. Much cheaper than applying for his own visa and paying for his own accommodation and living expenses there! Once he gets to the USA, and this investment has paid off, the real true self is quick to show. Not just him, but in most mixed marriages of this kind. They run off at the earliest opportunity. And of course he will say come live in Tunisia, to 'prove' that he isn't interested in a visa to the USA. But they say that knowing that it's not practical for the American to leave their life there to come and live in Tunisia. So he knows the answer to this already, but just asks it to convince her it's her he wants, not the USA.

All this is so obvious to me, to the point I just can't believe some people will fall for this kind of scam. Their loss, not mine.

Wanted also to add comment when she did her latest one, but didn't. Thought it wasn't worth it as, if you gather both of your explanation, mine, and the one she heard of, it was already 4 people saying the same thing, but she was still not listening.
As you said : her loss, not ours. And this loss is very hurting as it comes to feelings.
Anyway... Wanted to say to her comment : "Treat me well, you'll have me well" regarding to the fact that he was billing out.
The only wise thing she said was : "choose to put the wedding off until I see how things go".
25 yo in Tunisia and thinking about marrying a foreigner.... What a laughter....
At 25, in Eu or US, people are still studying, or have just graduated and are seeking a job, not a wife.
Can't even take a flat and leave on his one. What are you talking about marrying ??
Just bullshit and vile thinking.
Disgusting !

Ozitoun wrote:

That's a sad statement
I was born in Tunisia living in the USA for 45 years... Married to my American wife for 40 years
Kids-grd kids-

Don't underestimate all Tunisian men..lol

Olivier zitoun

Well that is good for you, but you are living in the USA right?  I live in Tunisia

XB23 wrote:

Tunisiandolly - I sent her a message explaining all that, and the real reason why he 'wants' her. I also told her no such contract exists! All of it is very obvious to me, as I'm from a very similar culture and mentality!

In response to her latest comment - Of course he isn't going to ask her for anything because he doesn't want her to suspect he is just using her. And of course he will pay for everything, as it's his 'investment' for a visa to the USA. So it's well worth the cost for him. Much cheaper than applying for his own visa and paying for his own accommodation and living expenses there! Once he gets to the USA, and this investment has paid off, the real true self is quick to show. Not just him, but in most mixed marriages of this kind. They run off at the earliest opportunity. And of course he will say come live in Tunisia, to 'prove' that he isn't interested in a visa to the USA. But they say that knowing that it's not practical for the American to leave their life there to come and live in Tunisia. So he knows the answer to this already, but just asks it to convince her it's her he wants, not the USA.

All this is so obvious to me, to the point I just can't believe some people will fall for this kind of scam. Their loss, not mine.

Yes you are right.  I live in Tunisia and I see this all the time.  It makes me crazy but if no-one listen then it's for them to pay the price

Hi everybody,

Please note that some inappropriate posts have been removed from this thread.

Thanks,

Priscilla

Hi Nicole, my name is Salim, i am very interested with your story, WE can be friends and i can help you,
You can contact me via mobile, this is my number XXX
And i am ready to help you

I know this woman well . She is smart but she has a good heart . I know her in person . And i am the person who told her these things about tunisian men . We were together for almost 2 years . We were broke , we didn't have money , in the beginning i was thinking about the visa but with the time i fell in love with her and that's made me literally blind . She did smthg ( you don't need to know about it ) and i found out . Since that time i didn't trust her and it hurts me so much , she just came to see me for a week in january 2015 and 2 weeks in septembre in the same year . We had many fights and problems issued of trust and distance . Anyway , i was thinking and thinking all the time , i really loved her with all of my heart . after the second trip she even admitted it that she wants only to be with me . For me i saw a failure marriage in the future caused of many factors , in addition i didn't want to be the bad guy that will marry and divorce her . So i tried to talk to another girl that will help me to forget her because i thought that will be the right thing for both of us , it was hard to do that while i was thinking about her all time . She was her hurting as i did when she found out , it was hard on me . I made her crying for nights , then she talked to men to make me jealous because she knows that i am a jealous person about her , then she met this guy who was talking to her sister and they started talking after her sister broke it up with him . He was playing the role of the good and nice guy in the beginning like supporting her and listening to her talking about me ...bla bla bla . But behind that cutie face and that gentle character who is waiting to get his opportunity , i don't blame him , i blame her cause i taught her everything about tunisia , i didn't want her to be scammed , i did care about her all the time . After that time she dissepeard . We didn't talk since june 2016 till 31st of December when i had a dream about her messaging me n believe or not i found her kinda messaging me . Sorry my story is too long but till now i love her and i am working at the airport now , i can go wherever i want , i have a good salary . She visited him for 49 days in 3 months after she sold her house n she is trying to finish her school and graduate at the end of May . If she ever wants a husband at least he has to have good intentions . Well We are friends now and i believe that she will have the same scenario . She has 3 daughters and she is 37 years old .she wants a man to stay with her for the rest of her life . I can now convince her to be with me but i won't marry her to prove a point, i will come to where she lives and show her that i wasn't running for visa  . My love is real
What do u think guys ? He is 25

Move on

My ex husband wanted money and a visa and ended up with neither. He put me through hell because of the choices I made, but I lost less than many others.

I was married in 2012 to someone who changed immediately after the wedding. He always needed money for something, whether it was the rent or his mother's current operation or hospitalization. Also, as soon and I returned to the US all he spoke about was his "papers".
At the time I was taking care of my dying brother and refused to send him money that I could use for my brother.
His visa was denied about this time also. I decided not to appeal because of his behavior.
My divorce was final 2 weeks ago after fighting with him for it, but it was a happy day for me. I learned a valuable lesson from him and because of this I try to help other women, but it is their choice to listen to me or not.
After many visits I chose to live in Tunisia permanently as an expat. I don't regret my decision to live here at all, but I also see the path that so many take. Most will not listen until it is too late.

...Just look @ it as a learning experience..
And aren't u better off ?

Haha

I learned my lesson. But I also had better things to do with my money than send it to him. So I didn't go broke or give him a path to America like he wanted.
Now that I live in Tunisia permanently I am living a quiet life because I am not seen as a vehicle for a visa.

Haha
I guess I can relate..

Regards,
Olivier

Not from Michigan but Texas.  Lol

I adviced her but she is confused , she thinks that i am just jealous and trying to screw her relationship up , anyway it's her loss .

*

You haven't open viber for a long time

All the sites on the internet are typically pointing out the worst in all Tunisian men.  Don't get me wrong, I do know "love rats" exist .  That being said , I am a bit older than my husband and there wasn't any problem with his family or friends.  I've had people tell me all sorts crazy things.  Like, I don't cook, so my husband just has to be a rat.  He isn't.  If you haven't been texted, you will. People saying horrible things about your man but then when I say show me proof, they quit texting.😂 My husband also borrows cash if he's running low on money.  I've offered to help him a few times and he said no.  No one can fake a persona for an infinite time.

These are the same things I've heard. Our stories are similar. I'm 47; he's 34. I've learned to pay attention solely to him and not the others. We plan on marriage soon. I've been in Tunisia since November.

I just came across this site and I am currently talking to a younger Tunisian man he is 23 and I am 27. I am wanting to go meet him soon and I safe to go? I'm just wanting to know if you ever went and met your man in Tunisia if so how was it?

An age difference of a few years isn't the kind that will be judged. If it is 10 or 20 years then eyebrows will be raised.
I met my fiance after I moved here permanently.
A visit of 2 or 3 weeks is not going to tell you how the relationship would be. To really find out if you 2 are compatible will take months .

Honey, define safe? I’m not being snarky, it’s just everyone has their idea of safe .  I grew up in the Chicago ghetto but have raised my kids in a tiny sea side town in Oregon where we don’t ever lock our doors.  I am in Sousse right now.  I have never EVER felt afraid here.  This year it seems worse as far as people fighting in clubs and in the streets , but the economy is so bad here.  Even then, it’s nothing to do with me.  Police are everywhere with rifles.  The few times I’ve been stopped it’s just to see if I am ok.  People are typically polite and helpful.  Occasionally a taxi driver or business will try and over charge.  Once they know you aren’t stupid, they don’t try again.  My husband and most of his friends are truly the kindest people I have ever met.  That’s a big statement from me because I’m extremely picky and can be difficult! Lol. The country in general, it’s filthy .  The streets , the beaches .  It’s slowly getting better.  Random Tune women will get shitty because you are “ stealing “ one of their prospective men, but the sad fact of the matter here is , of a man cannot fully support a woman, household and any possible children, they have very little chance to ever marry.  Tunisian law requires a man to be a sole provider.  Islam says basically that women are family or wives, so if a man says he loves you, he does .  Mine said it the second day.  I was like yeah whatever little boy ! Lol Here we are, years later and he has never said otherwise. I could go on and on.  Feel free to email me or add me on FB.  Meet the guy, he most likely will surprise you how lovely he is !

Tunisia is safe that's what i can gurantee for ya

Yes it's safe,  just make sure when buying you neednro negotiate the prices, because as a foreign they may charge you more than a local citizen...
Enjoy have fun let me know when you're there ,please share your experience in TUNISIA...😉
Are you getting married this time.
There are different choice for getting married and getting visa for foreigners spouse... Justin case k mention the marriage by proxy, it's completely legal and validated by USA UK immigration laws. I urge everyone to Google it...
Just in case they have no time to tight the knot while being abroad

Hi
I met my partner on line, we wattsapped for 4 month every night . I flow over in September .
I had a lovely time ,I am flying over in a few weeks time and in March moving over there to live with him .
It’s a chance you take , I have taken chances all my life but that’s me .
Where would you stay ? If you stay in hotel, he will not be allowed to stay with you . If you do go just make sure you take good care of your passport .
Has he asked you if you work , do you own a house have you got a car .
I hope it works out for you just be careful .

Hi
I really like what you have said , I am older then my partner . I am hoping to come over for good in feb , but I need to secure money each month to pay the rent . I love him so much and he has said he loves me . He even said it on the Koran , Iv met all his family and they welcomed me wormy . He lives in sousse too and he said when we get an aportment it must be sousse.
My name is Denise **and if you don’t mind I would very much like to keep in contact with you . I am on face book
Or my email***
Xx

Hi dont know how to private message but if you send me one with your details i will get in touch

I married my man im 20 years older than him which i know is frowned upon i love him and he loves me his family are great and we are very happy. I think if you dont give it a go then it will always be what if...
Tunisia is a great place and i love it when im there.
Go for it you only live once xx

I went and met my partner in tunisia dec 16 jan 17 i felt very safe and comfortabke there i met his family and they were amazing i had no problems at all lovely place tunisia is

It used to be better, but for the most part, Tunisian people are loving and kind.

I stayed in hammamet and found the locals there very lovely and very helpful couldnt do more for you cant wait to return next year hopefully to marry

tunisian men are free to marry whoever they like & are not forbidden by their parents to do that. I too look for this & I hope to find a nice companion with whome I restart my life after my first wife's death so that I can take care of my 2.5 years old orphaned daughter