When you seperate from your girlfriend in Philippines.

Well I can say I brought property with my 1st GF in Philippines and lost about 6 million over all . Not a rich man but thought I was in love and she was also. But found she was only in love for what I could do for her and her family. No hard feelings though it was my fault for not taking my time. Now I have someone else who her friend but not close to her. We have a child together,no house yet but I am hoping for my child's sake  to get a small house. They say love is blind so true,but it is only money and the lesson learned sometimes is worth it.

Neptune,
I hear what your saying, but what gets me is look at how many filipino men have made their girlfriends pregnant then just abandon them, taking no responsibility and they get away with it  what ever the law says. But foreigners get hammered

Of course, they use the Filipino logic "foreigners have more money" so we get all we can

Mabuhay Philipins !!  20 Milions Legaly  stollen from me !!

This is so true,but I guess you have to look at the culture also. When you have a lot of poverty and a disportionate grouping of the wealth as in the Philippines.  Poor people make love,have babies and move on. It is a shame,but that is what it is all over the world even in America poorer areas. I have seen people in the pedicab area,near our home that have 4 or 5 children and the father just moves on to the next person. Also I have a friend that lives in Bacoor,Cavite who is one of the best father's you could ever see in a human being. Life is not always fair,it just is life and we are blessed to be in it.

I agree one rule for Filippinos and one for foreigners.

What annoyed me was the extortion and blackmail that went with it all.

It was explained to me by a local like this.

We are the big foreigner tree, you can just sit under the tree and every now and then the fruit falls !!

But when you break up with a Filippino woman you also break up with her family.........................

Then they try to cut down the foreigner tree and take it all........ !!

Same thing in Canada, women get everything men get nothing so much for equality gone through that hell twice, never again.

Its about time we as men stood up to this blatant robbery !!

The odds are against us in the Philipinnes therefore, one has to be cautious, dont rush in,, get to know the girl, meet the relatives, if your serious, know who and what your partner comes from. Understand the culture  and dont get taken for a ride. There are good filipina women around you just have to dig deep and have a long courtship.

neptune1967 wrote:

Had I known what I know now, I would never have brought any property in the Philippines. It was a massive mistake. Buyer beware !!

When a foreigner buys property in the Philippines he is not buying it for himself, he is giving the girl and her family a present.

It's that simple.

Yes, it is true.  We expats are and will be getting screwed in the Philippines.  And you
can take that both ways.
      But what do you expect?  Most of us come here with little idea what the overwhelming
majority of Philippinos and Philippinas really truly think of us.  And it ain't good. 
     Most are only out to get your money, you poor saps and I count myself among the saps
who have spent their hard earned retirement funds and gotten little for it.
      But take the Philippines for what it is and what it will really provide. It won't provide respect for you. But you will get laid and ultimately, that is what we all  came here for. 
      Most Philippina girls are dirt poor.  If they are not poor then they will have very little interest in
you. If a Philippina comes from a well-to-do family she is not going to look twice at you. Believe it.
      And I believe the more better off your Philippina is than the more she is going to want from you.
     So it is actually better to pick one who is dirt poor and came froml nothing. At least she will be
satisfied at what you can give her.

Michael,
I agree with most of what you said, but I think it is also relevant from which region the girls come from,, whether it be city, small town, Island or countryside, the social class they are from,, and the family values their parents have taught them.

USAMichael

I'm not sure if I agree or disagree with some of your comments.

The one thing I have is experience, having married my Filipina ex-wife in 1990, but having looked around again after that ended in 2011.

All I can say is some men are lucky and find a nice one, but some just lose out.

I started with a reasonably well off one, and she eventually wanted the world.
Next I thought I had a nice one, and she could have taken me for everything but she didn't, she even repaid the loans, but left for someone better off   (That still puzzles me)
Lastly..  looking good so far

Regarding others, I do hear stories, and there are many guys being totally laid out for the taking.  I feel sorry for some of them that I hear about.

Maybe its like winning a raffle ticket. Anyways in the western world the women mainly get what they want, so whats the difference

dinky2408 wrote:

Maybe its like winning a raffle ticket. Anyways in the western world the women mainly get what they want, so whats the difference

In the West the law is equal, and that really messed up my ex who expected everything in the divorce, but got under half.   And a Filipina who loses can get very angry....  But that's another story

Sounds as if you are quite experienced and now sadder but wiser.
One thing I would say is about the guys who come here and really get taken for all they have.
We all have heard stories of these poor devils who have paid and are still paying.
Maybe there should be some type of ORIENTATION Session expats are required to attend
before they get off the plane.    This could cover:  1)  cash-strapped Philippina women (and ladyboys),
2)   starting a so-called ahem "business" here to uhh  "make a fortune." and 3)  taxi drivers and tricycle drivers and the divers ways they will rip a green rookie of all his cash.

neptune1967 wrote:

This is an incredible topic.

Many foreign men just do not know the implications of living with your girlfriend and just what can happen when and I say when not if you break up.

If anyone is in this situation or thinks they are then discussion is definitely required.

If you have children and property then you are definitely in potentially big trouble, especially if you wish to stay in the Philippines.

You would not believe the laws in Philippines with respect to the above.

I know, I am going through this right now and it is frankly speaking just incredible what can happen.

Had I known what I know now, I would never have brought any property in the Philippines. It was a massive mistake. Buyer beware !!

What am I missing here?

So you mean, you bought a property for a woman with whom you have had a relationship, but with whom you are not in a contract, whether it be a marriage or any legally binding agreement. Now you are ranting that she took the property from you when you broke up.

If you were in your home country, would you have purchased a property for a girlfriend, under her name, whether it be a car or real estate, without having some sort of written agreement?

FilAmericanMom wrote:

If you were in your home country, would you have purchased a property for a girlfriend, under her name, whether it be a car or real estate, without having some sort of written agreement?

There is absolutely no problem with doing that in some of our countries, as a divorce court or family court settlement order will still divide up the property, even if it is only in one partners name.

However, Philippine law is different, and that is what need to be understood before settling in the Philippines.  People can't just assume that the law of settlement is the same in the Philippines, as in the UK, Australia, etc..

ABCDiamond wrote:

FilAmericanMom wrote:

If you were in your home country, would you have purchased a property for a girlfriend, under her name, whether it be a car or real estate, without having some sort of written agreement?

There is absolutely no problem with doing that in some of our countries, as a divorce court or family court settlement order will still divide up the property, even if it is only in one partners name.

However, Philippine law is different, and that is what need to be understood before settling in the Philippines.  People can't just assume that the law of settlement is the same in the Philippines, as in the UK, Australia, etc..

But the original poster and his love interest, for whom he bought the property, were not married.

Wherever in the world you are, if you buy a property, whether it be a car or real estate, for a girlfriend or boyfriend and put the title under her / his name, don't expect to get it back if you break up.

FilAmericanMom wrote:

But the original poster and his love interest, for whom he bought the property, were not married.

Wherever in the world you are, if you buy a property, whether it be a car or real estate, for a girlfriend or boyfriend and put the title under her / his name, don't expect to get it back if you break up.

If you are in relationship you can, even when not married.

Court settlements look at the relationship, married or defacto etc.  ie: Living together is all that is needed.  The Philippines is different.

Many non married couples end up splitting assets owned individually, all because they lived together and get treated as a couple legally.. 

http://www.familyrelationships.gov.au/B … kdown.aspx

A de facto relationship is a relationship that two people who are not married or related by family have as a couple living together on a 'genuine domestic basis'.

Laws for Defacto Couples:  (But NOT in the Philippines)
The laws enable the Family Law Courts to order a division of any property that the couple own, either separately or together with each other.
Superannuation that each partner has can also be split (married couples have been able to split superannuation since 2002).
Spouse maintenance can also be ordered (not previously possible in Queensland, South Australia, or before December 2008, in Victoria).

USAMichael wrote:

Most Philippina girls are dirt poor.  If they are not poor then they will have very little interest in
you. If a Philippina comes from a well-to-do family she is not going to look twice at you. Believe it.
      And I believe the more better off your Philippina is than the more she is going to want from you.
     So it is actually better to pick one who is dirt poor and came froml nothing. At least she will be
satisfied at what you can give her.

What did your girlfriend or girlfriends do to you to make you say this? It really hurts when you so generalize about Filipino women.

I come from a well-to-do family in the Philippines. When my husband and I first met in the US, we were both American citizens. We are about the same age, with I being over 4 years older. I was the higher wage earner. Then I lost my job. We moved to the Philippines. I took over the family business.

When we first got here, we stayed with my parents for free. My parents never asked for anything, not even compensation for their vehicles and equipment used for the business. They gave us financial support and help with taking care of our kids, despite the fact that my husband would sometimes say insulting things that begin with "only in the Philippines" blah blah blah.  Or not washing  my parents' car which he borrows when he goes to work. Or that he wouldn't help do simple chores because he's on the night shift and needs to sleep. Or write a very impersonal note on how he wants his clean clothes handled.  And yet I stand by him and apologize to my parents.

We've moved out from my parents' house to our own for close to a year now.  The funds used to build it was from the business, which my husband doesn't even want to learn how to manage because he said he's uncomfortable speaking in Tagalog.  I work 6 days a week. He works 5 at a call center. Stereotypically, his coworkers quickly assume that the house was funded by my husband through some pension, the he funded my company, that I married him for money.

The kids have a hard time doing their homework in the evening. So homework is done in the morning, when I'm off at work, and just about the time when my husband would be at home. I don't want that the nanny be the only one to help the kids. But my husband often forgets to help them because he's "sleepy" or "needs to sleep" even though I sometimes catching him just playing with a tablet or watching NBA. Previously, I leave before 8am to work to open the store. Now, my father opens the store at 8am. I drive there after I've helped the kids.  I have set up a CCTV cameras at my work which I can monitor through my tablet. I have a fax and phone set up in case I need to send an urgent fax. It's extra hassle, but what am I to do?

Recently, he said that he's surprised that my daughter could sing "Let It Go" in another language. The nanny and I told him that my daughter can actually sing it in English and two other languages for over a month now. When we go out with the family on his days off, it feels like he's always in a hurry to go back home and sleep. But he doesn't mind that he stays up for his coworkers' team building. Maybe because it's more fun?

Recently, I proudly told him that this year was a very good year for the business. . . that we made (a certain number) million this year. He jokingly retorted with, "I would be impressed if you made (the certain number + 1) million. That was a bad joke. It hurt. Deep inside I felt like crying. To hear that from a guy who didn't even give me a birthday gift this year.

This is just but a  few of the things I've tried to deal with when we moved here.  In the past, I've told my husband of his faults and what I hope he'd change. He told me that it lowers his self-esteem when I do that.

I designed the lay out of the house, including the detailings and finishings, from the 20 ft ceiling to floor drapes to the glass staircase / 2nd floor railings. I asked my husband so many times for his input while it was being built. He said that it's up to me. So when the house was done, he said I should have made the attic bigger. I should have told him that he should have visited the dirty dusty construction site almost every day, like me and my dad, instead of every 2 to 3 weeks. But I did not say anything because of that self-esteem thing.

Grin and bear it. That's what we all are doing. Grinning and bearing it, because I love my husband.

Someone said: "Its about time we as men stood up to this blatant robbery !!" Well, I say, "It's about time we Filipino women stood up to the blatant stereotyping!!!"

FilAmericanMom wrote:

USAMichael wrote:

Most Philippina girls are dirt poor.  If they are not poor then they will have very little interest in you.
     If a Philippina comes from a well-to-do family she is not going to look twice at you. Believe it.
      And I believe the more better off your Philippina is than the more she is going to want from you.
     So it is actually better to pick one who is dirt poor and came froml nothing. At least she will be
satisfied at what you can give her.

What did your girlfriend or girlfriends do to you to make you say this? It really hurts when you so generalize about Filipino women.
< ...snip....>
Someone said: "Its about time we as men stood up to this blatant robbery !!" Well, I say, "It's about time we Filipino women stood up to the blatant stereotyping!!!"

That's a very interesting and honest statement.  In all walks of life there are surprises from different groups of people. And it is wrong to totally generalise.

However, one question for you.  Do you think you are in the minority or the majority, of Filipinas, being in your position? 
I feel that most readers, meeting Filipinas in the Philippines, will feel you are the exception.  But you seem much more westernised, and maybe many men are  not looking for that anymore.

However, it seems that most men, that look to the Philippines, are looking for something in between, and rarely find the exact personalities etc. that they feel they want.

However I do feel that USAMichael may be right in some ways.

Most Filipinas are dirt poor.  (talking about Filipinas in the Philippines)

A Filipina from a well off family will often NOT look twice at most men who come to the Philippines looking for what they are looking for.  (His statement on this seems to exclude you from any generalisation)

Finding a "dirt poor" one who will be "satisfied at what you can give her".  Hmm I'm not sure.  Maybe if they stay in the Philippines, and they get a very nice life.  It is feasible.

But, I know of too many Filipinas who have western boyfriends who also have a Pinoy boyfriend hidden away.

What are we talking about though ?  50 million females in the Philippines, how many of these meet or chat with western men?  Generalisations are made based on a small percentage of the total.

The main thing is though, these generalisations may well be very correct for those Filipinas who are chasing after Western men online etc. 
Before meeting my new Fiance I must have chatted to scores online, and the vast majority just pushed for financial help very quickly, and many were doing the same to multiple men.

USAMichael wrote:

Sounds as if you are quite experienced and now sadder but wiser.
One thing I would say is about the guys who come here and really get taken for all they have.
We all have heard stories of these poor devils who have paid and are still paying.
Maybe there should be some type of ORIENTATION Session expats are required to attend
before they get off the plane.    This could cover:  1)  cash-strapped Philippina women (and ladyboys),
2)   starting a so-called ahem "business" here to uhh  "make a fortune." and 3)  taxi drivers and tricycle drivers and the divers ways they will rip a green rookie of all his cash.

I've spent time living and working with  Pinoys in the Filo and around the world. My conclusion is....Never trust them. Male or female. Their clever, devious, unscrupulous and lack any moral standards. Their brought up in a totally corrupt society....And it shows.

USAMichael wrote:

Sounds as if you are quite experienced and now sadder but wiser.
One thing I would say is about the guys who come here and really get taken for all they have.
We all have heard stories of these poor devils who have paid and are still paying.
Maybe there should be some type of ORIENTATION Session expats are required to attend
before they get off the plane.    This could cover:  1)  cash-strapped Philippina women (and ladyboys),
2)   starting a so-called ahem "business" here to uhh  "make a fortune." and 3)  taxi drivers and tricycle drivers and the divers ways they will rip a green rookie of all his cash.

Wiser, Yes
Sadder, That depends how you look at it, but I've been fortunate.  I never got caught financially, even when putting assets in a Filipinas name. It was in Australia, so perfectly safe with marriage (and defacto) laws there. 
I still got more than half even though she expected the lot, after 20+ yrs    Her Filipina friends advised her wrong.

Let me first apologize for generalizing about all Filipina women.  You are obviously the exception and your  husband sounds like an exceptionally mixed-up and spoiled individual. 
       Your reply got me thinking...and some self-examination:  How many  Filipina wives do I really know?   To be fair--not enough to make sweeping generalizations.   However, I have known a few Filipinas or their husbands and what I have said is probably widely believed and true to some extent. 
      I am in my second marriage to a  Filipina (after five years of marriage my first wife died, after long and painful two year fight with cancer while we were living in the states).   
       Maybe I compare my frst wife to my present one too much.   My first wife was a vibrant star who died too,  too young at 42.   No doubt I do compare as I live with this heartache  and my present wife has to try to live up to a standard and, of course, that is not fair at all.   
       So, again, I should be more thoughtful about the  fairer sex in Pinoy-land and "sori Po" if I made some thoughtless remarks.

ABCDiamond wrote:

A Filipina from a well off family will often NOT look twice at most men who come to the Philippines looking for what they are looking for.  (His statement on this seems to exclude you from any generalisation)

Actually, this statement includes me. I will NOT look twice at most men who are 10 years or more my senior. My husband is around 4 years and a couple of months younger than I am. At one time, my mother-in-law joked that I was a "cradle snatcher". I told her maybe not, but that I could have baby sat for her. It figures because sometimes that's what I feel like I'm doing.

There are so many stories of expats being taken and after Php XM, they wake up.  What is interesting here is how many apparently did not review the laws here before the buy or "I do".  Contract law is on the person's side that is wise enough to use it.  If and when I decide to acquire land here, it will be under a contract/lease, if not from within a corporation.  This process is sooooo simple and yet so many fail to take care of their business the right way. 

How is this simple?

1. Expat leases the land on a long term contract for an initial 50 years renewable every 25 years, if he/she insist on putting it in the locals name.  The lease agreement must be executed before or during the land purchase and considered part of the package.  If the typical expat that is doing this is 62 years old, they will most likely not care to extend another 25 years at 112 years old. 

Note 1: a contract to lease land in the PI survives the lessor's life and must be honored by all subsequent owners of the leased property.

2.  Expat must insists on the TCT containing the clause that he/she is the purchaser of the land and that person x is the registered owner subject to the long-term lease contract executed and referenced on the back of the TCT.

3.  Expat must also note in all documents that any and all improvements thereon (including homes, structures, building and ground works) are the sole property of the expat purchaser and subject to his/her sole disposition (including sale, removal or sublease) during the term of the land lease.

Note 2: An expat can be listed on the DEED OF ABSOLUTE SALE and the new TCT as the buyer but not listed on the new TCT as the owner.  This legal notation provides a clear path as to who spent the money to purchase the land and the long-term intent to build/own improvements on the land, prior to any possible claims of commingling of assets (in a BF/GF situation).

All of the above should be part of the DEED OF ABSOLUTE SALE and therefore done (executed with notarized signatures) prior to any deposit or final payment to purchase the land.   

Be aware that if the expat takes this to a local Atty. they will most likely advise against such steps and claim them to be "unnecessary with true love". 

Yes, my advice/steps listed above was not followed but were stopped while at the Atty's office and now the expat is about to return to the USA, minus P3M and broken hearted.

PS - I think the above steps are very important to take when the expat has not taken the time to learn the other person and may be in a love rush to get started with the new person.  May have posted that a person should have a long romance period and get to learn each other well.  I agree 100% with that concept.  Also, I do not advocate that all persons in any country are ready to cheat or take from the expat.  I do feel that once a person adds the protections afforded under the local laws, their life will be better, safer and less stressful than those that jump into a situation because they are/were in love.

FilAmericanMom wrote:

...

Grin and bear it. That's what we all are doing. Grinning and bearing it, because I love my husband.

@FilAm,

Your words should hit a note with most males.  Often we do become very "disengaged" to only later complain about "after the fact" situations. 

I think many will agree that you seem to the type that most seek. but few find. 

It is helpful that you have the experience being an American (Am-Fil or Fil-Am) and bringing that perspective back with you to make a go here.  Perhaps one day your spouse will wake up to what he has and will treasure the relationship even more.

As I read many of your posts on various topics, your perspective seems based on more mature and broader life experiences than most females found here in the PI.  This is not to say that locals can't be broad thinkers and mature actors but there just seems to be a shrinking pool of your type here locally.  I wish the best to you and your husband and look forward to your postings.

That is why, with that knowledge, expats should know better. If you happen to like a Filipina, make sure that she could be trusted and worthy of your pure intentions. But it is not always the case, there are foreigners taking advantage of Filipinos too, for some reason. Do a background check if it needs be.

MaroBautista wrote:

If you happen to like a Filipina, make sure that she could be trusted

Many people will have one question to that..... ie:  How ?

This applies to all nationalities, but some more than others.

@Calif-Native

Thank you for the very nice compliment.

It is unfortunate that the pool of broad thinkers and professionals here in the Philippines are shrinking, as many have left for other countries for greener pastures. My son undergoes therapy. His first therapist is now in Singapore. His second therapist now works somewhere in MD. His first teacher / adviser is also in Singapore. They're there doing the same work they did here but with higher pay.

Your posts are very informative and I look forward to reading and re-reading them, especially ones about property ownership. I'm kind of jealous that you have more Philippine ID's than I do.  I only have a driver's license. I should apply for an SSS ID card at the very least.

@ Fil-AM,
In order of importance, I would say get the TIN first and then the PAG-IBIG. 

Regarding the other…….  I feel the biggest assets any expat has here is a very informed, trusted and world traveled spouse/partner.  To be in anyway disengaged from that vital source/person is to find the other person in need of a big wake up call.

There is another expat in this area that is sadly about to leave and return to the USA because the spouse is happy to blow thru Php 60-80K/month after the spending of over Php 3M (for cars, land and a small home) in less than 2.5 years.  Lacking ambition, direction and a good compass seems to be hitching a ride on the same vehicle as the spend it all as fast as possible group. 

We hear about many such examples with mostly negative outcomes. So, to have a business, house, a focus on future family needs/comforts and to be profitable to boot….. with a non-interested spouse, is a measure of a person's true nature and strength.

I must say I enjoy both of your postings,it is a learning process that enlightens me each time. I visit this site,to read some of the comments and reflect on my own directions still in life. We would like to say Thank-you for your posts Fil-Am and Calif-Native. I pray it will assist me and my mate in greater understanding of each other.  LOL Fil-Am you said you would not look at someone 10 years older than you, I have also felt that way at one time. But I have found that sometimes older or younger,both have their merits.  One is mellow and easy the other sometimes brash and quick. Stay well

When I came to the Philippines four years ago I was quite naive as how it all worked because I came here to meet a girl that I met online, but not the first one I met, and I am still with her now, and I trust her with my life, after a few bumpy months when we were getting to know one another, we are now as thick as thieves..... excuse the pun.

But because I was naive I told her that until we trusted one another unconditionally there would be no marriage, and no property buying, ( As I did not have money to do so in any case ) which she agreed on, and now because I am quite a few years older than her and have taught her how to save money, she has become very knowledgeable in money matters.

Now we have decided that we will not get married because when I fall off the perch it will be easier for her to find another, ( which caused a big crying match ) and if we should separate I would have lost a lot of money buying property etc, even though she promised that she would sell it and give the money back to me, but things change in split ups.

Never has her or her family ever asked me for money, although I do send 3000 peso`s per month to her mother who lives by herself in Mindanao, and I give my lady friend an allowance every month, with the understanding that she banks it, and the allowance will stop if she takes any money out unless for a real emergency.  She has now saved 120,000 peso`s which she is so proud of.

I told her that where we live in Dumaguete it would be silly to buy a house here in any case because if we did and I passed on she would have to sell it, as she would not live here by herself, so we have decided to keep on renting until my light goes out, ( which I hope will not be for a long time yet) 

To cover both of ourselves I am going back to Australia to have a will made out leaving everything to her for when I pass on, and if the situation should change between us the will is to be terminated.  This gives her security when I die and I will still have my money safe in my Australian bank .  I only have money invested with no property etc, so it will be a simple transaction. ( I did tell her that I had money after about a year of being together with her )

So in the meantime we will go on living as we are in a nice rental, and visiting different islands in the Philippines, and maybe other Asian countries, as I am still pretty fit for my age and can get around like a young bloke.

I feel that this is a win/win situation for the both of us, as neither of us can lose unless we broke up, but after four years we can still laugh together, but I made the mistake of teaching her Australian slang, and now I cant talk to my Aussie mates without her knowing what I am saying. lol.

Just to add my fiancee ( we are engaged ) did not know that I had money invested in Australia when I met her, as I told her that I had no money only my pension, but not having any money did not matter to her because she said that I was the perfect man for her,  because I was kind, did not spend all of my days drinking, did not chase other women ( am too bloody old in any case for that ) and I am nice to her family, and friends. ( not something my ex wife would agree with. lol )

Even though I still have not adapted to the Philippines 100% I guess it is better than having a lonely life back in Australia with all of the regulations, and road rage, so everyday I give my girl a big hug, and she me, and we both agree that life is good for the two of us now as to what it used to be.

Hope I have not bored you all too much you blokes, just let the right head rule your life, and you wont go wrong.

Cheers.

Happy for you my friend enjoy your long life and continue to prosper with that type of thinking of sharing without being foolish. Been both places,as I have said on this site. Now in a great place with a great woman and wonderful blessing of a child to make me smile. "Life is Good" anywhere you are happy. Cheers

Loved you post Aussie Dave,

sounds like you have thought out everything so very well.

I am following a similar path to you.

PEJ







Thank you all for your kind remarks, and I hope that I have helped others who may want to take the same direction that I have taken.

I met an English person here three years ago who had a Filipino fiancee, and paid for her to go to school, bought land for her, took her on numerous holidays, spent heaps on her parents, and all of the time she had a Filipino boyfriend whom she was keeping on my friends money.

The first time we met my friend he invited both myself and Lesiel (my fiancee) to his place for a drink, and during the night his fiancee told Lesiel that she had a boyfriend, and later on Lesiel told me and then I was put on a spot because I did not know this man ( who I will call Max) well enough to mention it to him, and besides that it was none of my business in any case, so we all started going out together and he used to tell us how he much money he used to spend on his fiancee ( who I will call Rose), a total of 2,000,000.00 peso`s all up... holidays overseas, a motorbike, property and the start of building a house, and all of the time I knew that she had a boyfriend but kept quite.

Anyway Rose used to go missing for days on end with the excuse that she was seeing her mother, ( he found out later that she never saw her mother at all) but was with her boyfriend.

One day when Max went back home to his house he found that he had been robbed, but whoever robbed him knew his or her way around the house and took all of the things of value.

To cut a long story short it was Rose and her boyfriend that did it and Max was shattered, but after everything had quietened down he took her back again much to my disgust and I told him so ( and everything else that I knew about Rose ) and he then told me to mind my own business and to stay out of his life, which I did.

For the next few months I used to pass him by with out saying a word, and then one day he stopped me and said that he had an apology to make for not listening to me as Rose did the same thing to him again, but now when she no longer had any money to keep her boyfriend the boyfriend left her....pregnant also.

Now he is feeling quite stupid, and nearly broke, but he tells me now that he is seeing Roses`s younger sister, to which I just told him that he had a big problem as the wrong head is controlling him, and that we all make  mistakes but not to learn by them, and to make the same mistakes again is a sign of an idiot. ( I could not help myself )

Why I am writing this to say that a lot of foreigners that I have known have fallen for the same trap, and then blame the Filipino`s  for their own stupidity, but never learn, but the smart foreigners keep their guard up and dont get taken in by the innocent little faces, until they are completely sure of what they are getting into.

I am not painting everybody with the same brush just the minority, as in my opinion you can not get a better woman than a Filipino who is trustworthy, and caring, and they make the best wives, and lover`s.  So go for it men but dont let the looks fool you, be sure before you make a commitment , and then do the right then also, and you will not look back or regret anything.

Aussie Dave wrote:

To cut a long story short it was Rose and her boyfriend that did it and Max was shattered, but after everything had quietened down he took her back again much to my disgust and I told him so ( and everything else that I knew about Rose ) and he then told me to mind my own business and to stay out of his life, which I did.

I also know of someone (via a friend of his G/f) who is being taken in the same way, and I tried to tell him, but got told to mind my own business too.

I feel sorry for the guy. He gets told all these stories to get more money out of him, and he believes it all.