Divorce, threats, and living in fear of my Brasilian wife

Hello,
partly his lawyer is correct , and the marriage performed in partial property , all that was acquired during the marriage of both parties 50-50 , however the debts acquired during marriage are also both of responsibility, both as of its his ex-wife .
talk to your lawyer and submit the receipts of this loan , it also is responsible for pay off this debt if it is not accepted hire another lawyer !
Adv Rodrigues
[email protected]

AdvogadoRodrigues is correct, provided that TWO conditions are clearly present:

1. Your name appears a co-purchaser (or at the very least "pagador interessado") on the Escritura and the Registro of the property. If you fell into the age old "you can't purchase in your name yet trap" and it was purchased only in her name, you can fight it out, but the most you'll likely get is 25% under those circumstances.


2.  The loan was arranged in writing, names you both and specifies the purpose of the loan.

Unless those conditions exist then it's going to be a long uphill battle in the courts which will likely cost you more than it's worth. Nobody takes a loss easily, or enjoys it, but there are times when you have to sit down and do the math to determine realistically what you'll likely get back, what that's going to cost you, and in the end if you're going to get something back or end up with even a greater debt.

Regarding the criminal charges, protective order, etc., are you really sure they even exist? Were you actually ever served with any order? Were you ever actually taken to the delegacia over the supposed aggression? If not then it's probably all a hoax to threaten you. There is no way that you can get a protective order that is not supposed to be served on the other party. There is no way they are going to procede with a domestic violence case without you being present (especially if you're out of the country).

If you actually were charged and a court date set, your video and audio recordings are perfect evidence. Further your overall description of the ongoing problems in the relationship would all go toward proving that you were duped into marriage by a gold-digger (vigarista) in the first place. Quite likely there would be absolutely no evidence of any kind (beyond her word) that this so-called violence ever took place, so I wouldn't worry too much about that at all. For now concentrate on the divorce and trying to recover as much of your assets as possible.

Cheers,
James    Expat-blog Experts Team

Thanks for both of your quick replies.


The land was purchased in both of our names, and I have a copy of the registration documents.


The purchase was made with money transferred directly to the seller via Western Union, from my father's account in my home country.


No formal signed contract exists between myself, my father and my wife for the loan of any money.  I do have receipts for transfers made to her account via a foreign currency broker, and some recordings of my wife and I speaking about finances in which it's mentioned that the money was loaned to us.


Overall, I have borrowed well in excess of R$ 250,000.  The current value of the property is obviously much less, as it is not complete.


The plans were to construct and rent out apartments, to pay back the original loan.  When the constructor conned us and left with our money, I planned to sue him, but obviously if our assets are sold and divided, that will be virtually impossible, (as he could not be forced to complete the work in that situation).


I understand your concern that a complicated divorce may end up costing me more in legal fees than I get back.  However the debt I have of over R$ 250,000 to my father represents almost all of his life savings.  I have no realistic way to pay it back without recouping some of the money invested in Brasil.


Also, the thought of effectively giving my family's money to a fraudster who physically hurt me and made me live in fear for months, until I fled back to my country of origin, makes me feel sick.  All the time she enjoys special protections in Brasil, as a woman, despite the fact that I have a small mountain of evidence of against her.


I heard about the accusations she has made against me, of violence and threats of killing her, via my solicitor, after leaving.  Presumably they were made after I filed for divorce, and left the house.  I assume that my solicitor would have given me reliable information


I paid the legal fees upfront to my solicitor, so my expenses returning to Brasil would be just flights and accommodation.


Currently, I am waiting to be told the date of the audienca.  A date was set, but my solicitor is trying to change it, to avoid the need for a second audienca, as I would obviously suffer a large financial prejudice if I had to return to Brasil twice.


Despite my very bad experiences, I like Brasil, have many Brasilian friends who I miss, and I would be happy to continue the construction project.  I have no language difficulties.


After passing through the process of emigrating, and the pain of discovering my wife's lies and true agenda, I have now been forced by her to leave Brasil, abandoning the property investment, and returning to my own country, (during the winter months).  Here, I now have nothing except debt, and a smaller living space.


In the worst case scenario, the part built construction could now be sold by the court for a low value, leaving me with unpayable debts.  I could be forced to pay maintainence to my wife for ever.  I could be effectively exiled from Brasil by the threat of legal action and the extortion of my property.  Friends I have in the small place we lived can be told a pack of lies, and I am not there to defend my name.  I have a lower quality of life here than I did in Brasil, a much smaller living space, higher cost of living and loss of the business venture building and renting the apartments.  The change in climate is making me ill.  To attend the audiencas involves long and expensive flights.  I have been told that I am free to enter and leave the country, but can I believe this?  Can I be sure that I won't just be arrested whilst I am in Brasil?


Can I really be placed in this situation, when I have so much proof of her wrongdoing?


Our entire namoro virtual is recorded.  45000 messages, and over 1500 emails.  It is obvious reading them now that she lied profusely to me.


How can I present that to the judge at the audienca?  It's far too long to submit all of it.  But reading just a few lines here and there proves nothing.


Just one example; many, many times within those messages she tells me that she is single and living with her mother.  I made two flights to Brasil, got engaged to her and had relations with her all without even knowing that she was living with another man in a 10 year relationship.  This demonstrates, with other things, that I was duped in to the relationship.  How do I use this evidence?


Once again, thanks for all of the advice.  I really appreciate the time taken to read through my long posts.

Since you seem to have everything well documented, especially the "namoro virtual" I think that there's a better than average case for you to establish that it was all intended to be a swindle from the outset. That might even get you much more than the 50/50 settlement that is common, since essentially you paid for everything. It's certainly worth exploring with a good lawyer that works in the area of divorce. It doesn't sound to me like the one you've got right now is the one you want to handle anything. Hell, as a layman I know more about Brazilian laws than this guy seems to.

It's clear that you're looking at a judical divorce as opposed to a consensual divorce in the Cartório. So if you're going to pay all that money in legal fees anyway, you want to maximize your returns. A good lawyer is likely to be able to convince the court that under the circumstances; marriage being an apparent swindle, mistreatment from the outset, the other relationship when it was supposed to be an engagement, etc., you will come off looking like the victim you really were.

Regarding all the evidence from the "namoro virtual" you should print it ALL off, it would likely only be necessary to highlight some of the most damaging passages to clearly demonstrate a pattern that is going to lead most judges to the conclusion that it was her intention all along just to bleed you dry. Believe judges are well aware of this kind of Brazilian women, they're much more common than you'd think.

Cheers,
James

You're really opening my eyes to the situation I'm in, and the best way to deal with it!

I'd not even considered taking our entire history printed out with me to court, as I thought it would just be too much to present.  But thinking about it now, as long as I've organised it with an index and page numbers, and as you say, highlighted the most important parts, it's not unreasonable at all.

Also, until I read your post, I didn't realise how obviously wrong it was for her to enter into an engagement, (which was actually mentioned in the "declaracao de estado civil" we I presented to the cartorio), when she was in another long term relationship.

Obviously, these are things that should have been brought to my attention by my solicitor, and that in turn makes me agree with you that I need to seek further legal advice...

But on a practical note, what's the best way to go about this?  I'm not in Brasil at the moment, the case is already underway, and this guy has already been paid.  The area I'm based in within Brasil is not a major city with a large choice of specialised solicitors, so trying to swap him for somebody else completely would be difficult, and maybe disruptive to the case.

Should I get another specialised solicitor involved to make sure that all the relevant avenues are explored, and generally oversee things?  Or do I really need to get rid of this existing guy altogether?

It would seem good to me, if I could find a Portuguese speaking solicitor who is versed in Brasilian law, local to me now, so that I can actually sit down and talk with them, with various documents in hand.  Problem is that they wouldn't be able to come to Brasil with me for the court hearing.

Thanks for the helpful posts!

No, you don't need to get rid of your present lawyer if you don't wish to and you can afford the additional cost of another lawyer in addition to him. You'll have to talk it over with him and tell him that due to the complexity of your case you'd appreciate that he recommend one of his colleagues to "second chair" him in the case. At the end of the day, he is your lawyer and he is bound to take instructions from you, so he will either have to agree to do as you ask or to withdraw. Should he withdraw then he would need to refund in part what you've paid to retain his services.

Good luck in the ordeal you face, if you have any further questions don't hesitate to ask.

Cheers,
James

I am also going through a divorce from a Brazilian woman. I caught her cheating on me twice and she built a Apartment while I was getting her and the two girls a green card. Which she refused to complete and I lost 25K I put into the apartment. I feel for you it seem Brazilian woman are like this I dated a second one and again ask for money to help. I gave her 4000R when she go the money she told me to leave. I learned now will not deal with Brazilian women. Thank to James who put me in touch with a local lawyer. I now just waiting for a Tax number from Brazil. I just want to say one of the thing she may do is when you try to go to court. She may keep delaying it I would have the right to recover the money since I have all the bills. My lawyer said I have to appear in court and the delay tactic is common in Brazil. I have a friend who had a land dispute and that is what the Brazilian did cost him month of living in Brazil. I still do not know if he finally got to court to get a judgement. I do not have what you are facing so I just going to let it go. I hope you have a good lawyer who will nail her. Jame is a very good source to help listen to what he is telling you.

Wow, I really need some advice now, if only to calm me down.

Apologies in advance if the tone of this message is a bit angry, but I just got off of the phone with the solicitor in Brasil, and yes, I am angry.

Up until now I have been cautious about giving out too many details of the case, because I have been told many, many times that libel and slander laws are strong in Brasil, and that any detrimental comment can land you in trouble.  But now that I consider that my wife is doing exactly this to me, (see below), I am throwing caution to the wind.

I decided to call the existing solicitor first thing today before doing anything else, to try to get an update on the situation, and be well informed before searching out a second solicitor here to advise me further.

Now I had emailed him over the weekend, and as normal, not received a reply.  The situation as I understood it was that the judge assigned to the case was away until today, (10th), and that we were waiting for our request to change the date of the hearing and anything else, until he came back.  As such, I assumed that the protective order against me had been agreed by somebody else working in the absence of the judge.

I called the solicitor this morning.  He confirmed that the judge returned today, and that a decision on the change of the date of the hearing would be made at some time probably before Friday.  So far so good.

He then said that it was actually the judge themselves that awarded the protective order, (note: I am aware that a woman can get this type of protection in Brasil with absolutely no evidence or justification), that it was given on the basis that I threatened to kill her, (I never did, and so she can't have any scrap of evidence to suggest this), and that the judge had sent somebody to the hotel where I last stayed to search for me.

Now at this point, I started to get annoyed.  Why had my solicitor not informed of my departure from Brasil right at the beginning of the case?  I fled the country out of fear of my wife, being forced out of my home by her, and not really having the resources to stay in hotels or rent an apartment anyway.

Secondly, I am very well known at this hotel, and have an image to uphold.  I am not there to defend my image, and I don't want people to start thinking that I'm some sort of violent criminal, or wife beater.

I asked the solicitor to show the video evidence of my wife threatening me with a knife and saying, "agora va bem essa faca em voce, viu?  Quer?", and open some kind of criminal process against her, because this is by far not the only evidence I have.  My solicitor loves to tell me how the law protects women in Brasil, but is that really an excuse to just sit back and do nothing?  He also told me that in any case opened against anyone in Brasil, it's obligatory to have at least one hearing, so if he was to open a criminal case against her, then I would be obliged to attend another hearing in Brasil.

So now, it seems like the Brasilian legal system can force me out as a foreigner, just by creating difficulty and expense for me to attend hearings.  OK, I can quite believe this, but in that case how do I react?  Should I just ask the local TV to broadcast the videos, and ignore the privacy laws that everybody tells me are so strong in Brasil, even though my image can be tarnished by a con-artist?

(Just to note - I am not obsessed with 'image', but the place I am based in Brasil is not a tourist location, and as one of the few foreigners there, I am very well known, and treated like a celebrity.  To be branded as a wife beater or such would destroy any credibility I have there.)

I have been told by my solicitor not to show any of the videos or audio recordings to anybody, in case it hurts my case, or she tries to sue me for an invasion of privacy.  But is this realistic?  Only some of them were recorded secretly, many were recorded with her knowledge, and surely it is in the public interest to show video evidence of a crime?

I have lost patience with the 'official' way of doing things, which in the eyes of my solicitor basically amounts to sitting back and waiting to see what my wife and the judge decide.

I want action.  What should I do?

I'm prepared to travel to Brasil for exactly one hearing.  With the mountain of clear evidence on my side, and the lack of any evidence or suffering on her side, her case should be shot to pieces immediately, even before the hearing, and even if I didn't bother to attend.  But if the legal system is going to allow it to be drawn out solely for the pleasure of causing financial burden and difficulty for me attending, then I'll consider other options.

If, (and only if), this is just the start of a rediculous, multi-hearing court battle full of lies from her, whilst my evidence is being ignored, then I might just as well go straight to the media here and in Brasil and get these videos broadcast, show the situation I am being put in, and force a change in attitude.  I'm sick and tired of it.  Let's start a movement for men's rights in Brasil - I was abused by my wife, and I would like to know maria de penha's views on that.

Once again, please accept my apologies for this rather harsh style of writing, but I feel that I'm being conned by my solicitor and the Brasilian legal system as well as my wife, and I'm not going to let them get away with it.

Your attorney can present these videos as evidence within the process wherein she that you threatened her with death. It would be evidence that the situation could be exactly reverse that she claimed in the records. Also as already instructed his ex-wife is also responsible for debts incurred constancy of marriage. you report above that contracted with his father to purchase the property, provide the loan vouchers she will also be responsible for quitá it.
Not for me to opine how is the performance of his lawyer, but this is already spoken above, you are not satisfied, constitutes another within the legal counsel's there to work according to the will of the customer provided that this does not come damaging the customer advocacy.

Seu advogado pode apresentar estes videos como prova dentro do processo em que ela que voce a ameaçou de morte. Seria prova de que a situação poderia ser exatamente inversa a que ela alegou nos autos. Igualmente como já havia instruido a sua ex-mulher é igualmente responsavel pelas dividas contraidas constância do casamento. você relata acima que contraiu com seu pai para a compra do imóvel, apresente os comprovantes do emprestimo que ela será igualmente responsável em quitá-lo.
Não cabe a mim opinar como anda a atuação do seu advogado, mas, é o que já falado acima, se não está satisfeito, constitua outro, dentro da legalidade o advogado esta ai para trabalhar de acordo a vontade do cliente desde que isto nao venha a prejudicar a defesa do cliente.

Hello...

Seems like I am discovering new things every day.

I re-read the documents that my lawyer had sent me, and questioned him about some of the details.

Seems that for some reason, none of the documents, nor the evidence were ever submitted to the judge.

He went there today to do this, and has just emailed me to say that they were not accepted, because he doesn't have a signed power of attorney from me.  He's emailed a document for me to print, sign, scan, send back and then mail the original to him, (which in my experience will take three weeks to arrive).  I have been warned that it's important for me to do it as soon as possible, within a day or so, because the judge awarded protection for my wife, believing that I had fled the country after threatening her.

In fact, I stayed a whole two weeks in Brasil after walking out, and have witnesses that I made my plans to return publically known. I even spoke to the police constable at the civil police about it.

Am I being conned?  Is there an urgency to sign this document, or can I do everything with calm?  Should I even sign a power of attorney for this lawyer if I am going to get another involved as well  What are the risks if I sign nothing and present no evidence until I arrive in Brasil?  Do I risk them taking my wife's claims more seriously?  Do I risk a prison order for a made up claim of a death threat?


Oi...

Aparece que cada dia, eu aprendo algo novo.

Depois que eu olhei novamente aos documentos do advogado, eu perguntei para ele sobre algums detalhes.

Para algum razao, ate agora, nunca foi protocolada pelo juiz.

Ele foi para la hoje, com provas no mao, mas acabou de enviar um email para mim dizendo que nao foi possivel entregar nada, porque ele nao tem um procurado meu.  Ele annexou um modelo do procuraco, e quer que eu imprimo, assino, escanio, e envio de volta pelo email, e depois o original pelos correios, (que vai demorar tres semanas chegar, na minha experienca).  Ele de avisou que eh importante fazer isso o mais rapido possivel, dentro de um dia, porque o juiz ja fiz o medida protetiva para a minha esposa, acreditando que eu fugei do Brasil depois de ameacar ela com morte.

Na verdade, eu estava no Brasil para mais 14 dias depois de sair da casa, e tenho testimonios que meus planos de voltar para meu pais foram conhecidas publicamente.  Eu ate falei com o delegado do policia civil sobre a compra do passagem.

Estou sendo enrolado?  Realmente existe uma urgenca assinar o procuracao, ou posso fazer isso numa maniera relaxado?  Realmente eh adequado assinar o procuracao para esse advogado, se eu vou involver mais uma a distanca?  Quais riscos eu corro se eu nao assino nada, e espera meu volto para o Brasil para apresentar as provas ao juiz?  Existe o risco que eles vai lavar os pedidos falsos da minha esposa mais serios?  Posso pegar um ordem do prisao, so porque a minha esposa inventou uma ameaca do morte?

Hi brasil_traveller,

Yes, if you are going to continue with this lawyer even if you plan to ask another one to team up with him, he has to have a signed Power of Attorney (Procuração) in order to act on your behalf. Any new lawyer you may retain will also need a Power of Attorney to act on your behalf as well.

The sooner you sign the POA and get it back to him the sooner he can get working on your case. Sounds more and more like he's fresh out of school if he didn't know about the Procuração before now, either that or he's just plain incompetent.

Cheers,
James

Hello!
Initially a board, this is the time to decide if you trust your lawyer or not! This mismatch of information, these doubts is like dynamite in relation X client advocate, this relationship trust is everything!
If the lawyer does not have a power of attorney his he is not legally his lawyer, he can even represent you without power of attorney in urgent acts provided that it has the power of attorney no later than 15 days after the procedural act.
Hardly the threat of crime the suspect is subjected to prison to await the stuck process.
I would say that it is almost impossible for this to happen, since apparently the threat
allegedly been verbal, it says.
Regardless, as I said it is necessary that decide to trust fully or not your lawyer.
att,

Olá!
Inicialmente um conselho, este é o momento de você decidir se confia em seu advogado ou não! Este desencontro de informações, estas suas dúvidas é como dinamite na relação cliente X advogado, nesta relação confiança é tudo!
Se o advogado ainda não tem uma procuração sua ele ainda não é legalmente seu advogado, ele até pode representa-lo sem procuração em atos urgentes desde que apresente a procuração num prazo máximo de 15 dias após o ato processual.
Dificilmente o crime de ameaça o suspeito é submetido a prisão para aguardar o processo preso.
Diria que é quase impossível que isto aconteça, já que aparentemente a ameaça
teria supostamente sido verbal, ao que relata.
Independente disto, como já disse se faz necessário que decida-se se confia integralmente ou não no seu advogado.
Att,

That is excellent advise from AdvogadoRodrigues!!! It couldn't have been said better. One must have absolute trust in his/her lawyer or the relationship is just not going to work, not here in Brazil and not anywhere else either.

Cheers,
James

Once again, I must thank everybody for the great advice being posted here.
I have made contact with a Brasilian law solicitor here in my country who is going to start looking over my summary of the case and get back to me, (hopefully tomorrow).
I really don't have 100% faith in the guy working on it now, but until I've found somebody else, I obviously can't replace him.  Probably, I will end up having the paperwork and my preparation for the hearing done by a lawyer here under my supervision, and just have the guy in Brasil do the minimum necessary.

I will keep this thread updated with new developments as I get them.  Once again, thanks for your support.

Mais uma vez, vou agradecer para os concelhos optimos aqui.  Eu entrei em contato com um advogado Brasileiro aqui no meu pais.  Ele vai olhar no meu resumo dos fatos e me-indica se pode me ajudar ou nao, (espero que o contato dele eh amanha.  Realmente nao tenho fe no advogado actual no Brasil, mas enquanto nao tenho outro, devo permanecer com ele.  Provavelmente vou pedir para o parte beaurocratica e escrita ser feito pelo novo advogado aqui mesmo, com meu supervisao, e so manter aquelle no Brasil para que tenho com contato fisicamente no Brasil.  Vou actualizar essa pagina com novos informacoes quando os chegam, e mais uma vez eu agradeco todos voces pelo apoio e ajudar.

I was able to mail a document to Brazil in two or three days it will cost about $100 from the post office or mail service. It sound like this lawyer is not having your best interest.

The fast delivery also comes with a tracking number, so I suppose it's worth it to know that the document has actually arrived.

In 2013, I sent a packet to Brasil with a letter and a few stickers in...  Worth about five reais...  It was complete with customs declaration...  It took *seven* weeks to arrive, (despite being confirmed as arriving in Brasil in about four days), and recipient was charged import duty (!), even though it's supposed to be waived for low value items.

I've made arrangements for a local law firm to second chair this case now, so hopefully from Monday onwards things will proceed without the silly mistakes I've had up to now.

I understand that the allegation of a death threat from my wife is basically a separate, (criminal), case that she has opened.

I asked my solicitor a few days ago to open up a case against her, (using the evidence he already has), and he said that it wasn't practical because each new case generates at least one hearing, and that I had already expressed a desire to avoid having to make un-necessary flights to Brasil.

This seems like another example of poor service to me, what do you think?  If a hearing is really obligatory for any case opened, would I be obliged to attend?  Given that my evidence is clear, and that there is a lot of it.  Is this really a good reason to not open a criminal case against her?

Also, if a hearing is obligatory for every case, does that mean that I will be obliged to attend a second one about these false accusations she has made against me?  When I arrive in Brasil for the divorce hearing, could I be refused exit from the country until a future date?

Hi,

As far as I am aware yes, to open a criminal charge against your wife you would need to attend an audience. Essentially with no "victim" (you) in the country to appear at the audience, there is no way of laying the charge and thus no crime.

Regarding the existing charge she has laid against you, you (or your legal representative) would be served. At that time it would be something you will need to discuss with counsel as to whether or not you'd return to Brazil for the audience (trial). I cannot advise you what to do in this matter, since I don't know the details or the gravity of the charges she brought, your lawyer is the best to advise you what to do.

That makes sense.  I'll discuss it with the, (new), lawyer tomorrow, and report back when I get more information.

I've just noticed, moments before mailing the procuracao, that there is a spelling mistake in my address!  Knowing Brasil, it's probably best to get it corrected before submitting it.  Could this guy actually be any worse?

I don't think a spelling mistake in your address in the Power of Attorney is going to make any big difference. Now, if it were in your name or any of your identifying data, now that's another story altogether.

He does sound like a real gem though!

Cheers,
James

Just spent two hours talking to a solicitor here.  Really opened my eyes to a lot of things.  They said that I should be aware that the other guy could be conning me or passing me incorrect or incomplete information.  After all, I have a load of evidence against my wife, but no specific details of either of the legal processes that have been opened.  They also questioned exactly how my wife could have opened a criminal case against me with no evidence of harm, witnesses or anything else.  When I said that it was an allegation of a death threat, they said that that was rather unrealistic that a single allegation like that without anything to back it up would be taken seriously.


On the negative side they said that the division of assets will be 50/50, and nothing can be done about that.  I mentioned the responsibility for the debt, and they said that it would be more difficult to get the judge to take it seriously as it was borrowed from my father rather than a loan from a bank, but that we'd try.


I understand that this is how the division of assets works in Brasil, but is there really no separate action I can take against her with respect to the mal-treatment and deception?  Or is it better to go to the media afterwards about this?


After all, I entered in to this marriage not knowing her true intentions, which I now have strong evidence of.


Get married to a Brasilian, and hand over half of your family's savings to someone who hits you, threatens you with a knife, and falsifies claims of domestic violence?  When you have videos of all of the above?  Come on. The law needs to change.

Well, I'm talking here from experience when I talk about my own past experience regarding division of property, Comunhão Parcial or not, the 50/50 settlement IS NOT WRITTEN IN STONE by any means. Nor is the what you owned before the marriage and what she owned before the marriage written in stone. For example think of the following REAL scenario:

A couple gets married, the woman has almost nothing prior to marriage, but the man owns a house in his name solely. During the marriage the woman is a stay-at-home wife, takes care of the house, her husband and does what any good wife is supposed to do in a marriage. During the years of marriage there are substantial renovations done to the house, rooms are added and the value is increased substantially. Under the carved in stone "yours is yours and mine is mine" theory that is common the woman, you would think has no right to any of that. WRONG, she has a clear claim that since her work at home, caring for the home and her husband was a substantial contribution and that the man would not have been able to do those renovations without that help she'd be awarded at the very minimum 50% of the increased value of the home due to the renovations, possibly more. This is a true example.

So it is equally possible to demonstrate, especially in very short-lived marriages, that the wife even though the asset is purchased after the marriage, that the woman made no substantial contribution (or none at all) and that the fact that all of the money came from you, argue a case for a lower percentage of division of assets for her. I personally think that you've got a very strong case for this kind of end result.

I married a Brazilian woman after having lived with her in a common-law relationship for several years. I bought a house, property, cars everything in her name because I fell for the old BS line from her buddy (a lawyer) that there was nothing to worry about, I couldn't buy anything in my name, but once married half of everything would be rightfully mine. Completely UNTRUE. Under those circumstances one can at best hope for 25%. What saved me was that I had the smarts to put my name on the contracts for purchase as "pagador interessado", and I had a detailed paper trail of the financial transactions. While in the end I got less than the 50% I was entitled to I got most of it back, and only got less because I decided it wasn't worth fighting over (which would have probably cost more).

If you've got a paper trail of the financial transactions for the debt, if you had some kind of written agreement regarding the loan from your family to purchase the home, then you can prove that she made no substantial contribution to the purchase. If you demonstrate that from the outset it was a scam to milk you for as much money as possible and then dump you (which appears to be a rather simple task) then you stand a better than average chance of convincing a Brazilian judge that you were the victim of a "golpe" from the very beginning. A judge can overrule the standard property division at any time, and under those circumstances would probably be much more likely to do so. They're human beings too, they're also Brazilians and they know exactly how negatively this kind of behavior by Brazilian women can impact on the international image of all Brazilians. To them it can be a matter of pride and they're likely to see your side over hers. Don't give up without a fight no matter what your lawyer may tell you.

Just the mere fact that you've drawn your line in the sand and entered the battle might get her to back off and make a settlement that is much more favorable to you. Don't forget that she's going to incur legal costs too, and that's going to scare her, probably enough to settle for a quick deal even if it is less than she expects. (The take the money and run approach) Don't forget that divorces don't always need to go to trial. You do have a chance if you stand your ground and show you are coming from a position of power, convince her to agree to a Cartório divorce which will be much quicker and more favorable to both of you. If you make it clear that you have no problem with burning off all the assets in legal fees, leaving you both with nothing if she puts up a fight, that's going to scare the pants off her. She'll see the dollar signs swirling in the bowl as you hit the flush lever and that's clearly NOT what she wants. She won't go to all the trouble if in the end there's nothing there for her.

Regarding the so-called charges of domestic violence she claims to have filed, have you any concrete evidence that there are really any such charges? Have you ever received any judicial notification or been requested to attend the delegacia to give any statements? I can't see any charges being laid or any kind of protective order being granted solely on the uncorroborated word of one individual, not even here in Brazil. I'm convinced that it's just a strategy to use the scare tactic to get you to go away without putting up any kind of fight. I'd ask the lawyer to request that she produce a copy of any such order, since until you are served with it, or know that one truly exists and its conditions you CANNOT be bound by it. I'm sure if she's pressed to produce an order or a Boletim de Ocorrência she will not be able to do either.

Cheers,
James

Wow, you answered a couple of questions I had before I even posted them!

I felt sure that the 50/50 split was not set in stone, but whenever I asked about it, kept being told that it was.  What you are saying, (and I really need to re-read it with calm tomorrow), makes much more logical sense.

I am now very suspicious of these allegations of domestic violence.  I can confirm that I was NEVER presented with anything, or asked to visit the delegacia whilst I was in Brasil.

Infact, until now, I have not seen one official legal document regarding this case which wasn't written by my own lawyer.

I am certainly not giving up, and I'll keep posting updates as things progress.

Once again, thanks so much for your posts, I really do appreciate the time you and the other posters have contributed to my case.

Getting two lawyers involved in this case was a great idea.  But now I'm beginning to wish that I had a third one to tell me which of the two is giving me accurate info...

I've now received the same document from both of them, that is a movimentacao do processo criminal.

The document seems to confirm that it does really exist, and also confirms that they were not able to notify me.

L2 says that it's nothing to worry about, and that there is no urgency to sign the procuracao, infact it might be better not to.

L1 says that I should sign it straight away.

L2 seemed to think that it was unusual that my wife could obtain any order against me without any evidence or proof of wrongdoing

L1 says that it's normal for this sort of protective measure

When I forwarded L1's comments to L2, L2 seems to agree with him.

About the division of assets, I asked L1 whether the law had changed recently, because I'd seen reports on the internet that the 50/50 division was not obligatory.  I got a long-winded response back that basically said that in my case it's 50%, and that in cases that involve children, or maintainence payments, the judge can decide in favour or either the husband or wife.  I don't see the relevance of this to my case, given that we don't have any children.  L1 then goes on to say to bear in mind that just as we are fighting for ownership of the goods, so my wife will be too with her lawyer.  Then, he confusingly ends with a comment to understand that everything depends on convincing the judge, and that the law determines that when there is not an agreement the goods will be divided equally between the couple.

So am I to believe that the only way the judge can overrule the 50/50 division is by convincing my wife to accept a settlement during the hearing?

Sounds a bit odd to me.

And if everything depends on convincing the judge, why am I the only one sitting down, looking through the evidence?  I don't even know what's most relevant to the divorce case.  I could be wasting my time searching out every instance of, "I'm single, without a boyfriend", in her emails and messages, (and believe me there are a lot), if that's not what's going to convince the judge.

But, at the end of the day, I will NOT give up, or let fear and doubt creep in.

Your best bet is to convince your wife that a long, drawn out battle is only going to hit her in the pocketbook as much as you, that it's the lawyers who will end up with the bulk of the assets. This is true anywhere in the world. If she can't see the reasoning behind that, or if it's simply her goal to destroy you, then there is nothing else that can be done. If you can convince her to sit down and work out an agreement for division of the assets (partilha de bens) and get it drawn up and notarized then that even trumps a judge. It will be accepted in any process unless it violates a specific law.

You should stress that in the standard division of assets she is going to have to accept half of the debt incurred to purchase the apartment/house you were living in, and that's going to reduce her share even further if it has to go to trial. If you can show her that there's a good chance that not only will all the assets end up gone, but that you both may wind up with a debt on top of that it might open her eyes and get her to start acting like an adult in this matter. If she does force it to trial anyway then you've got to do everything in your power to get the court to decide that she must also bear her share of the debt. Anything else would be truly an injustice and unacceptable even here in Brazil. You may even want to consider requesting an order that the residence be sold and the proceeds divided equally or applied against the debt and any left over balance be split equally.

Cheers,
James

I have always wanted to resolve the issue amicably, and actually offered her a reasonable sum on several occasions during the month before I walked out.

Unfortunately, my wife is a rather difficult person to understand.  Many times I tried to sit down with her and discuss our relationship, and near the end, the inevitable divorce.  She would refuse to turn off the television, or put down her phone for five minutes to discuss the issue.  She would refuse to accept that a divorce was even going to happen, and when I continued speaking about it, she would just walk out of the house, and go to visit her mother.  Again, I have this recorded, and when I showed the first lawyer, he was as confused as I was as to why an adult woman would behave in such a way, when her husband approached her about a divorce.

Since December, I have had no contact with her, and now that this protective order exists, (even though I haven't been notified of it), I have no desire to try to enter in contact with her.  In any case, she would not be receptive to a conversation about the assets, because she seems to have been brainwashed by her mother and solicitor, in to forcing the issue to litigation.

I can't help thinking that she is living in a coccoon and doesn't realise that the debt would have to be shared, that she will have mounting legal costs, and that I could potentially open criminal cases against her for violence and 'danos morais' because of my mal-treatment, and the falsification of accusations against me.

I am pretty sure that she would agree quickly to an amicable settlement if she realised the true outcome for her of going to litigation.

I know for a fact that she wants to keep the partly built house.  It's small, but she considers it perfect for her a single person, and it's only about 400 metres from her mother's house.

It doesn't matter that the construction and rental of the four apartments on the same land was supposed to pay back the quarter of a million reais of debt incurred.

The value of the property is currently much less than our debt.

If, (and only if), the judge really can override the 50/50 split without my wife's co-operation, then I will win the case - I have no doubt about that, because as you said, it would be a matter of national pride, that they couldn't have a foreigner conned out of the family's life savings by a Brasileira, especially in the small town where I, and the construction, are basically famous.

My worry is that maybe all cases of this 50/50 split not being adhered to are due to the couple eventually coming to an accord.  That will never happen in my case, unless my wife undergoes a serious personality change.

Ironically, if it IS split 50/50, even ignoring the shared debt, it would be impossible for her to keep the house, (which is her desire), because even considering the value of the white goods inside, she would have to pay off the 50% of the house that I was entitled to.  She just doesn't have that sort of money, UNLESS she was secretly hoarding away money that I was sending her right from the beginning, and even so, it seems unrealistic.  She is unemployed and does not come from a rich family.  Where would the money come from to pay off my half, and then maintain the house afterwards?

Seems to me like she is being encouraged by her mother and solicitor to go to litigation, without realising that she likely won't get what she wants.

I actually asked lawyer 1 some time ago to make my wife's solicitor aware of the claims I have against her, and request that we settle the matter amicably, but he refused, saying that it was the judge we had to convince, not her lawyer.

Also, whilst I was at the civil police, the local TV came in and wanted to interview me, (remember, it's a small town, anything involving a gringo is news demais), and lawyer 1 recommended that I didn't get involved, afterwards telling me that if we could make a denouncement in the media at a later date.  After that, he told me that he wouldn't be prepared to appear.  At times, I wish I had accepted their offer, because I doubt whether my wife would be so blaze about the whole matter if I'd had the opportunity to tell my side of the story.

She actually kept our namoro a secret from friends and family for a long time, and even now, some people don't know that I've even left.

It is not in your lawyer's interest to settle amicably, that would significantly reduce his fees. That's why he's not eager to discuss an amicable settlement with your wife's lawyer. It's the same everywhere, not just in Brazil, lawyers want to line their pockets at the expense of others' suffering.

From how you describe the situation I agree that your wife is being encouraged by her mother and that both of them are being conned by their lawyer into thinking that if they play hardball they're going to come out on top. Nothing could be further from the truth since the battle will consume everything in legal fees. The only ones who will come out on top, as usual, will be the lawyers.

If you have any means of contacting someone who knows your wife and can talk sense into her, it might be worth your while to ask them to point out to her that she's being misled by her lawyer, and if she thinks that she's going to be able to keep the house by forcing litigation she is sadly mistaken. The ONLY hope she has, and it's slim at that, of keeping the house is to sit down and work out a mutually agreeable settlement before she sends the house and all the other assets swirling down the drain with her vindictiveness. It's going to hurt her more than it will hurt you, she's got to be made to see that or there is no hope at all.

Obviously, she is of the misguided impression that by her intransigence she can force you to simply walk away and abandon any claim you have. Many Brazilian women have that same idea, unfortunately they find out they're wrong only after everything they hoped to gain is gone.

Cheers,
James

To "Brasil Traveller" and others ....It was an eery feeling I had when I read your initial outline.
It was as if it was me, but then I bought 100 acres (and 3 apartments) to develop, not apartments to rent.
The cow that duped me is now my ex - we divorced about 3 years ago.
A scheming, sexless, lying, thieving, sneaky, materialistic  cow.

BUT ... the settlement of the goods that she stole is still being "considered" - after 3 years!!
Mate .... women have so much protection in Brasil

My advice ... cut your losses, "put your life under your arm and run" .... was the advice from her brother!!!

You won't win

You need to get out, just get out. The courts will not rule in your favor as there is nothing in it for them. You are a foreigner and you are on your own. I can't get past the fact that she warned you and you still moved forward with this. Take the financial loss, get divorced, go home rebuild. Trust me, she will not do better after you've moved on. She will be broke in a year.

I agree with you 100% exnyer, I lived through a horror story that was almost exactly the same. I don't think it even took a year before my ex was flat broke. What goes round, comes round!!!

Cheers,
James

But I'm not rich.  I can't afford to loose this money.

I am older than you (I think) and I along with others responding here-I have the wisdom born of pain, So as gently as I can express myself, I say again, get out son, cut your losses. You are losing money and more importantly time. I understand that you seek justice--but the truth is you simply do not have the resources to buy it. Young man you'd be surprised how little they get once the court is out of the equation. Let it go son. I could give you a million facts to help convince you but the truth is-- Those who love you will understand, you will regain your dignity, you WILL recoup your losses, your health will get better and you WILL see that Karma prevails where justice fails. Please-- take a few days away from this and think about it.                                                                                     Yours In solidarity, exnyer.

I just want to say sometimes you have to cut your loses. I think you will loose more fighting this since it seems your lawyer is really not fighting for you. If you are in your 60's I can see why you do not want to loose this money. If you are in your 30's you have plenty of time to recover. I am also going through divorce and loosing only 25K but in my 60's but I have recover before and my life is much better. I know you do not want to disappoint the people who trusted you. They will understand and you still may be able to pay them back. With being caught up in this divorce you can't move forward. I let my anger go with the Brazilian woman who used me for my money. I am much happier and life is good. I still waiting for my final papers. I hope this helps you can alway make money I lost twice two divorces and more money then you are in my first marriage. I recovered my life has been great I know your will also if you get out of this nightmare.

Youre right, she will be broke but in less than six months, the women in Brazil spend money as if it was growing on a mango tree!

Just saw this post.  I'm a Brit, living in SP or 30 years and thought I'd add my 2 cents worth.
First off, I just had to counter some sweeping and not very nice generalizations made by a some people with a few of my own! Not all Brazilian women are money grabbing, scheming, heavy spenders. The great majority are not. In fact, as is true of most Brazilians regardless of sex, they are very kindhearted and hospitable, especially towards gringos. Most Brazilians are however opportunists. Perhaps because after facing so many trials and tribulations on a daily basis, they become rather good at turning lemons into lemonade. Unfortunately a few, men; women (and lawyers and builders), are not honest and will try to take advantage.  Being gringos, perhaps we attract these types! I still remember being stopped by a traffic cop and as soon as I opened my mouth, you could almost see the dollar signs flashing across his eyes. He finally begrudgingly accepted a all my Reais to 'overlook' the burnt-out sidelight. On the other hand, a few months later, another cop patiently explained to me that in Brazil I couldn't drive with an out-of-date license, and how and where to go about renewing it, then sent me on my way, without a citation!
Ok, to the problem in hand:
1 Never pay everything up front. You've already been stung by the builder and probably the first lawyer. But don't make the same mistake with your second lawyer.
2 As has been mentioned, Comunhão Parcial is not set in stone, but I think you are in a stronger position than most have suggested. Under this scheme, everything earned by the couple after the marriage is divided 50/50. But everything owned prior to the marriage continues to be the property of the individual. My understanding is that this includes any inheritance due - whether received before of after the marriage - and even if it is "gifted" prior to death. In your case it s clear that the money used to buy the property and pay the builder was not earned by you after the wedding. Even if she didn't co-sign an official loan contract, it would be simple to prove that the money was your father's using bank statements and tax returns for both you and your father.
3 Don't give up, but you will have to be very patient. I have won a number of cases in the courts, but it is very slow and long winded. My latest success came almost a year ago, but even after the appeal court ruling in June the company only deposited the money in January, and only last week was it finally released to me. My father-in-law had one case which he called his nest egg. It took more than 25 years, but with perseverance, he won. Because the legal system here takes so long many lawyers will advise their clients to hold out using all the "tricks" available to them, in the hope that the adversary will give up, as most in fact do.
4 Seems like all this happened in a very small town. I can't help wondering if everybody wasn't in on the scheme against you. The builder could have been in collusion with your wife, with her receiving a cut of the money you paid him. You might want to consider taking him to court too. Your first lawyer's actions are also highly suspicious. The first thing any decent lawyer will do is to draft the power of attorney thus making official his constitution as your lawyer. And he doesn't seem to have represented you very well at all even (or perhaps especially) considering he wasn't legally able to do so!
5 In the site for the Tribunal de Justiça in São Paulo, ( esaj.tjsp.jus.br/cpo/pg/open.do ) I can do a search either by name or by ID number and find all the cases in which i am involved, and what the present position is. I can also search for information on any other person. I imagine you can do the same for whatever state all this happened in, so I suggest searching for both your name and your wife's, so you know exactly where you stand.

So persevere. Don't give up! But also don't expect to be able to resolve all this soon in one short trip to Brazil.

Man...

All you said was right...I am experiencing it now but luckily..we are not yet married...we already separated our ways together..lesson learn for me