Be Careful-hiring a nanny/helper/maid谨慎聘用保姆阿姨

Dear All,

I never thought I'd be in such a position to post it. I've fired my Chinese-speaking nanny/helper 中文保姆/阿姨 after discovering that she had hurt my 2 years old daughter with force on several occasions which I believed was pure accident, until recently I noticed that my daughter's hand was all read and swollen one evening. When I demanded an answer from my nanny, she was firmly telling me that she did it because my daughter was not behaving! Then I recalled several other occasions that my daughter was screaming during shower that the nanny was using too hot water on her, which sadly so I didn't realize it was done on purpose. In the end when I fired her, all she was calculating viciously was how much more money she could squeeze out of my pocket.

As a mother, I feel the urge to share this with the community, so that more parents would be aware of who they might be hiring and make sure they do a reference check. I can't publish her name here, but happy to reply you in private of my unfortunate experience with her which started by many lies.

God bless!

That's sad to hear. Many expat's employs housekeeper/nanny/maid without knowing them well or any recommendation.
Some of them are very cruel to kids and intend to get their salary only. Better try luck next time  :)

tradeforless999 wrote:

In the end when I fired her, all she was calculating viciously was how much more money she could squeeze out of my pocket.


Sounds like you didn't make an employment contract with her.

Did YOU comply with health and tax regulations?

What checking did YOU do when you hired her on?

What instructions did YOU give her, in writing, when you signed her up?

I often hear about these cases and investigations reveal some of the causes originate from the terms of hiring.

Of course, a webcam or two, scattered around the house, would let you SEE what is happening or allow you to record the events.

Google - nanny cameras - then after the page loads - select Images
Everyone with very young children should have one or more of these cameras in their home/apartment.
They are available under various disguise.
They are discreet and inexpensive.
Think of them as buying protection for your child.

Agencies which supply maids are also liars in many cases. I would start by not hiring someone who I couldnt contact their former employer about, even meeting them in person if needed.

Abuses by employers towards maids, and abuses by maids towards kids is a rampant problem throughout Asia. Many cases have resulted in police arrests and court cases. Some maids are mentally unstable, so are employers. Its a mess. Its such a mess and a gamble it pays to just find another way to solve the house problems which do not involve hiring anyone, sorry to say.

OMG its crazy i am currently in search of a babysitter and now i hesitate, maybe i will be better of sending him to daycare. Anyways good luck to you and all the best with your baby.

But how do you check the person and where? any websites? besides cameras of course.

aishula wrote:

OMG its crazy i am currently in search of a babysitter and now i hesitate, maybe i will be better of sending him to daycare.

But how do you check the person and where?


You find a babysitter the same way as you determine who your friends will be.

If there are Vietnamese people whose judgements you trust, ask them for suggestions. Most Vietnamese can be trusted with children - you have to find out who is good for your needs. Friends don't usually recommend people they don't know/trust.

And what makes 'daycare' any better/safer? Some of these catering to Foreigners have been found to be lacking - big time.

Look for older carers, the grandmother types, they have the experience, the patience and tolerance that many younger people don't. And the carer doesn't need to be able to speak fluent English - young children, lucky them, are very good linguists - so don't be afraid of them becoming 'Vietnamese'.

Even as a young child, my daughter would switch between VNese and English, using the appearance of a person to determine which to use. Now, fluent in both languages, she frequently inserts words from either language in conversations - determined by which is more expressive for her.

You can use Google to communicate with a VNese babysitter, or have a VNese friend relay your instructions using a cell phone - with your friend acting as translator.

P.S. A VNese babysitter, as opposed to someone from another country, is usually the better choice - their knowledge of the city will benefit you in many other ways.

Jaitch wrote:

I often hear about these cases and investigations reveal some of the causes originate from the terms of hiring.


Yes, I'd blame the mother as well - not enough mothers give written instruction, stating the ruddy obvious.

There are some very bad people in this world, and some try to work with children.
We had one a couple of years ago.
My daughter complained of pain, but with no details as to how it happened, until I watched the woman from an upstairs window.
I saw her hit her own child so hard, it knocked him off his feet.
She was out of the house 30 minutes later, bags and bus fare in hand.
That woman was from my wife's village, and we had heard nothing bad about her.

What instructions did YOU give her, in writing, when you signed her up?


I always give maids written instructions not to scold my children in hot water, beat them, use mock firing squads if they don't do their homework, nor use waterboarding if they don't finish their dinner, but that didn't seem to work in her case.
You'd think she couldn't read or something.

Sadly, no matter how much care you take hiring someone, some people are nasty.
Cameras are a good idea, but hardly perfect - Better if they're covert cams.