Girl Talk: How Can Single Women Avoid Stranger Danger?

well wt to say its really unfortunate. At least always try to walk along many people not alone. i also walk around KFMC in the same time daily but i haven't noticed something unusual , may be i m a man thats y, but i also c many ladies walking alone and with very confidence.

but always walk along with a group not alone ok

take care and keep on walking

We walked the same strip for over an year but without witnessingany  such untoward incident.  Honestly, if you do not see it, it did not happen unless someone really trust worthy witnessed it.  Anyways, stay safe, stay healthy.  To the point of faisal, try to walk with a group.

areace wrote:

We walked the same strip for over an year but without witnessingany  such untoward incident.  Honestly, if you do not see it, it did not happen unless someone really trust worthy witnessed it.  Anyways, stay safe, stay healthy.  To the point of faisal, try to walk with a group.

Since she lives in the compound, it means she's the daughter of a medical personnel. KFMC is really usually a very safe place. I wouldn't have brought it up if it didn't happen.

Thanks for the advice though.

faisal145 wrote:

well wt to say its really unfortunate. At least always try to walk along many people not alone. i also walk around KFMC in the same time daily but i haven't noticed something unusual , may be i m a man thats y, but i also c many ladies walking alone and with very confidence.

but always walk along with a group not alone ok

take care and keep on walking

Thanks so much Faisal. Most of the guys who walk are really nice and friendly, especially the older ones. They tell me to be careful cuz I'm walking alone.

I don't have many friends here since my highschool mates are in Khobar and my former co-workers in my old hospital are still working. I try to join some group of ladies temporarily when there are stalkers though. Thanks for the friendly advice! See you around!

Hi Xomi07,

This is real sad and tragic. Hopefully the long arm of the law will catch the culprits! Since I don't live in Saudi and I have no idea what compound life is like, I can only offer general advice.

1- As Faisal said, dont venture out late alone.
2- purchase/carry self-defense sprays/alarms
3- make it routine that you always inform your family/friends of your whereabouts, the sooner they realise something is wrong, the quicker they can react,  many people remain missing longer than necessary because they were secretive about their movements.
4- always walk facing oncoming traffic... never ever walk with your back towards oncoming traffic, that's when someone can grab you from behind. Facing on coming traffic often means once they pass you, if they reverse you have time to run and if they stop in front of you, you still got time to react.

5-I used to travel late at night alone, one trick that worked in the UK was to act like you got nothing to loose, if someone looks at you funny, be the one to challenge them... ''WHAAAAAAAATTTTTT?!! most men would walk away and that reaction causes others nearby to look at you both.

remember predetors like to target women/children that are shy, reserved, wont cause a scene commotion... so do the unexpected and act like a fool!

hope that helps!

ooh and stop blaming yourself for what happened, be happy you was ill and it wasnt you <3<3<3

Btwn-Fear-N-Hope wrote:

Hi Xomi07,

This is real sad and tragic. Hopefully the long arm of the law will catch the culprits! Since I don't live in Saudi and I have no idea what compound life is like, I can only offer general advice.

1- As Faisal said, dont venture out late alone.
2- purchase/carry self-defense sprays/alarms
3- make it routine that you always inform your family/friends of your whereabouts, the sooner they realise something is wrong, the quicker they can react,  many people remain missing longer than necessary because they were secretive about their movements.
4- always walk facing oncoming traffic... never ever walk with your back towards oncoming traffic, that's when someone can grab you from behind. Facing on coming traffic often means once they pass you, if they reverse you have time to run and if they stop in front of you, you still got time to react.

5-I used to travel late at night alone, one trick that worked in the UK was to act like you got nothing to loose, if someone looks at you funny, be the one to challenge them... ''WHAAAAAAAATTTTTT?!! most men would walk away and that reaction causes others nearby to look at you both.

remember predetors like to target women/children that are shy, reserved, wont cause a scene commotion... so do the unexpected and act like a fool!

hope that helps!

ooh and stop blaming yourself for what happened, be happy you was ill and it wasnt you <3<3<3

Thank you so much! I'm feeling warm heartfelt vibes of older-sisterly concern and I'm so thankful. Particularly for the last three. I don't really know where to purchase self-defense stuff here but I do walk facing oncoming traffic and it really does work because once there was a car who tried to tail me but it had to go reverse and I was able to enter inside the compound via one of the nearest gates (the walking path is the outside perimeter of the compound).

Hopefully I can be loud and make a ruckus! I'm normally like that anyway so I hope I can stay the same when it counts! Your advice is sooooo sound it rocks! YOU ROCK! I <3 U!^^

I've also tried saying hello and making eye contact with a lot of older male people I see regularly (around 30-50 y/o joggers). They might mistake it for flirting but I'm just trying to make my presence known. If they know me as a person; a real person with a face they can recognize and a smile they see everyday, then there's a chance that they'll stop and help if ever they're in the vicinity if anything ever happens to me right? You think that's okay?

Really, thanks for your reply. You aren't even here yet and you're already warming my heart! *hugs* <3 <3 <3

hey hun,

the vibes are mutual <3<3<3 I'm the oldest of my siblings so yea this over-protective nature is a natural part of me.

The fact that your loud makes it easier, an alarm would do a poor job of what your natural vocals can do. Not sure if many people in Saudi would recognise the sound of a personal alarm. pepper spray has been outlawed in some countries, i think UK being one of them but you can use any aerosol spray aim for the eyes .... I've never carried this, always thought digging into my bag would be a waste of time lol.

when I feel slightly frightened by another persons presence late at night, I move my keys from my bag to me pocket, I grab it with my hand and leave one key pointing out between my knuckles... I've never had to use it. 

Heres something interesting, shouting FIRE!  instead of help or rape, would get more peoples attention .. google it!

your welcome, (((((hugs back)))) <3<3<3

Btwn-Fear-N-Hope wrote:

hey hun,

the vibes are mutual <3<3<3 I'm the oldest of my siblings so yea this over-protective nature is a natural part of me.

The fact that your loud makes it easier, an alarm would do a poor job of what your natural vocals can do. Not sure if many people in Saudi would recognise the sound of a personal alarm. pepper spray has been outlawed in some countries, i think UK being one of them but you can use any aerosol spray aim for the eyes .... I've never carried this, always thought digging into my bag would be a waste of time lol.

when I feel slightly frightened by another persons presence late at night, I move my keys from my bag to me pocket, I grab it with my hand and leave one key pointing out between my knuckles... I've never had to use it. 

Heres something interesting, shouting FIRE!  instead of help or rape, would get more peoples attention .. google it!

your welcome, (((((hugs back)))) <3<3<3

Oooh! You're the eldest in your family too? I am in mine too!^^

I have been googling them since yesterday. I've been seriously worried. But it's really different coming from another person, especially someone like an older sister. The keys idea seems superbly awesome!^^ I hope I can shout fire loud enough in arabic too. Must ask my dad.

I sent you a private message!^^ Thanks for being so awesome!^^ <3 <3 <3

Upon further reading regarding shouting 'fire!' natural instinct may cause you to forget planned reactions, most people shout in response to the attack... just make sure you scream your lungs out, deafen him if you can, lol.

listen, stop driving yourself mad, it seems extremely unlikely that they would be brave enough to try kidnapping from the same spot again. Live your life and don't let this tragedy get you paranoid and intimidated.

*sorry I forgot to respond to your earlier post, regarding smiling and saying hello to older men... a polite hello and smile as far as I can think wont hurt anyone and probably would make them more aware of you as a local- thus more protective.

However make sure you keep it brief and walk off straight away. so they don't get any ideas. Remember some people don't see age as an issue when it comes to dating/flirting/marriage etc.

In Yemen men respect you more if you don't even look at them. Most Arabs I have met in London, Egypt and Yemen are very protective of women in general not just their own women... hopefully Saudis are the same and will look out for your safety and honour.

I answered your pm with a lengthy message, I need to practice summarising my points.lol

Btwn-Fear-N-Hope wrote:

I answered your pm with a lengthy message, I need to practice summarising my points.lol

You and me both!^^ We're meant to be friends!^^

x0mi07 wrote:

Btwn-Fear-N-Hope wrote:

I answered your pm with a lengthy message, I need to practice summarising my points.lol

You and me both!^^ We're meant to be friends!^^

looool I sure think we were!!! its a pleasure making your acquaintance!

Hi x0mi07 - The most of the Tips have already been given, but i wud like to add some and here they go...

1)Trust your instincts. If something feels wrong, something is probably wrong.
2) Be aware of your surroundings.
3) Walk close to the curb, facing oncoming traffic.
4) Carry bags close to your body.
5) Look confident.
6) Tell someone where you are going and when you expect to be back.
7) If you are being followed, head for a crowded place.
8) If people start milling around you, it could a set-up for a mugging.
9) Know yourself, how do you react in a crisis situation? Do you scream, cry, freeze? How would you defend yourself?
10) Remember there is no right or wrong approach to dangerous situations.
11) Show your anger, not your fear. A furious reaction often may stop an attack. Remember an attacker is looking for an easy victim. Yelling is always a good deterrent (a good choice is to yell FIRE) this will draw attention to those who do not want to get involved but may be concerned for their own safety and may come to help.
12) If there are other people around, yell loudly enough to get their attention to what the assailant is doing.
13)If you are alone and do not know anyone on the street or nearby, try calling a name out to make the attacker or assailant to believe you may be with someone. This may also help if you are alone at home.
14)If someone has a weapon stay calm and wait for an opportunity. Weapons make the situation more dangerous and difficult, but there still may be something you can do about the situation.
15) Make sure you keep a self defense product on your person at all times.

Taking Taxi
16) Carry the phone number of a taxi or mini cab firm you know, and whenever you book a taxi ask them for the driver's name and the type of car they will be driving
17) Try and book the taxi you need to bring you home before you go out. Give your name and when the driver arrives make sure they know the name it was booked under. If you have to book your taxi in a public place, do it quietly where people are unlikely to overhear your name and address
18) If you can, share a taxi with a friend and have your money ready and keys handy at the end of your journey so that you can enter your home quickly
19 If ever you feel uneasy in a taxi ask the driver to stop in a busy place that you know well, and get out

Preventing Rape
20) Make a loud noise - Carry a whistle, personal alarm or scream "police" to attract attention

21) Run - Only run if there is somewhere safe to run to. If there is no where to go you may aggravate the assailant further by running

22) Stall - Speak calmly and rationally. Try not to plead, cry or show that you're scared, this may be the reaction that he's going for.

23) Urinate or vomit - Do anything you can to repulse the assailant. Tell him that you have a STD or AIDS.

24) Fight - Women who resist attacks and act quickly are less likely to be raped, than those who are passive. The optimum time to react is in the first 20 seconds when the body releases chemicals in the blood that help to put up a fight. Be cautious if he has a weapon.

Remember SAFETY FIRST and Just remember "anticipation and avoidance" are the best forms of defense!!!

A deplorable and horrible incident of course.

Risk is an essential part of life;;; always go hand in glove. We have to manage it each and every day.

Let me remind you of a term called ACAT. US Defense Department builds & plans circumfering the same methodology.

ACAT stands for Avoid,Control,Accept,Transfer. All valueable advice mates have been outlining above can be wrapped up in ACAT.

It's is our social responsibility to spread the word & awareness to the the gender. The contribution made above by EB mates is impressive.

Btwn-Fear-N-Hope wrote:

Upon further reading regarding shouting 'fire!' natural instinct may cause you to forget planned reactions, most people shout in response to the attack... just make sure you scream your lungs out, deafen him if you can, lol.

listen, stop driving yourself mad, it seems extremely unlikely that they would be brave enough to try kidnapping from the same spot again. Live your life and don't let this tragedy get you paranoid and intimidated.

*sorry I forgot to respond to your earlier post, regarding smiling and saying hello to older men... a polite hello and smile as far as I can think wont hurt anyone and probably would make them more aware of you as a local- thus more protective.

However make sure you keep it brief and walk off straight away. so they don't get any ideas. Remember some people don't see age as an issue when it comes to dating/flirting/marriage etc.

In Yemen men respect you more if you don't even look at them. Most Arabs I have met in London, Egypt and Yemen are very protective of women in general not just their own women... hopefully Saudis are the same and will look out for your safety and honour.

I missed this last night, replying at 2am and all. Thank you for this.=,) I only smile at fellow filipinos or the other older arab grandpas who automatically call out and tell me to be careful and stuff like that. It seems they've picked up on me being basically a "kid" and walking alone. Only smile at those who give off the friendly vibe and make it quick. Thank you though for the cultural reference. I didn't know about that.>,<

I was planning to walk today but the weather seems to be insistent about keeping me in as it's a bit dusty. I'm really itching to start walking again. I miss going 40-50 miles/week.

saimans wrote:

Hi x0mi07 - The most of the Tips have already been given, but i wud like to add some and here they go...

1)Trust your instincts. If something feels wrong, something is probably wrong.
2) Be aware of your surroundings.
3) Walk close to the curb, facing oncoming traffic.
4) Carry bags close to your body.
5) Look confident.
6) Tell someone where you are going and when you expect to be back.
7) If you are being followed, head for a crowded place.
8) If people start milling around you, it could a set-up for a mugging.
9) Know yourself, how do you react in a crisis situation? Do you scream, cry, freeze? How would you defend yourself?
10) Remember there is no right or wrong approach to dangerous situations.
11) Show your anger, not your fear. A furious reaction often may stop an attack. Remember an attacker is looking for an easy victim. Yelling is always a good deterrent (a good choice is to yell FIRE) this will draw attention to those who do not want to get involved but may be concerned for their own safety and may come to help.
12) If there are other people around, yell loudly enough to get their attention to what the assailant is doing.
13)If you are alone and do not know anyone on the street or nearby, try calling a name out to make the attacker or assailant to believe you may be with someone. This may also help if you are alone at home.
14)If someone has a weapon stay calm and wait for an opportunity. Weapons make the situation more dangerous and difficult, but there still may be something you can do about the situation.
15) Make sure you keep a self defense product on your person at all times.

Taking Taxi
16) Carry the phone number of a taxi or mini cab firm you know, and whenever you book a taxi ask them for the driver's name and the type of car they will be driving
17) Try and book the taxi you need to bring you home before you go out. Give your name and when the driver arrives make sure they know the name it was booked under. If you have to book your taxi in a public place, do it quietly where people are unlikely to overhear your name and address
18) If you can, share a taxi with a friend and have your money ready and keys handy at the end of your journey so that you can enter your home quickly
19 If ever you feel uneasy in a taxi ask the driver to stop in a busy place that you know well, and get out

Preventing Rape
20) Make a loud noise - Carry a whistle, personal alarm or scream "police" to attract attention

21) Run - Only run if there is somewhere safe to run to. If there is no where to go you may aggravate the assailant further by running

22) Stall - Speak calmly and rationally. Try not to plead, cry or show that you're scared, this may be the reaction that he's going for.

23) Urinate or vomit - Do anything you can to repulse the assailant. Tell him that you have a STD or AIDS.

24) Fight - Women who resist attacks and act quickly are less likely to be raped, than those who are passive. The optimum time to react is in the first 20 seconds when the body releases chemicals in the blood that help to put up a fight. Be cautious if he has a weapon.

Remember SAFETY FIRST and Just remember "anticipation and avoidance" are the best forms of defense!!!

WOW SAIMANS YOU NINJA! You are superman! thank you so much! I have to admit, I've had my fair share of close shaves with taxi drivers. Now I have a couple of trusted cab drivers and a private on-call driver. It's a bit expensive but totally worth it.

This list is wonderful for realz. I hope it'll help other ladies out there as well.

TheLegendLeads wrote:

A deplorable and horrible incident of course.

Risk is an essential part of life;;; always go hand in glove. We have to manage it each and every day.

Let me remind you of a term called ACAT. US Defense Department builds & plans circumfering the same methodology.

ACAT stands for Avoid,Control,Accept,Transfer. All valueable advice mates have been outlining above can be wrapped up in ACAT.

It's is our social responsibility to spread the word & awareness to the the gender. The contribution made above by EB mates is impressive.

Reading on ACAT now (cuz I'm nerdy that way). Thank you... and you're right, we just have to manage it each and every day. The contribution by E-B mates is definitely WOW. <3 You guys rock!

What a good advices,,!! and one more thing guy's

Say a Prayer,and think positive that nothing bad will happen..!
God is with us always!

edvilyn wrote:

What a good advices,,!! and one more thing guy's

Say a Prayer,and think positive that nothing bad will happen..!
God is with us always!

'Inshallah'

When dealing with stalkers/creepers:

Never entertain them. Don't even insult them. Guys like attention, and might even interpret what you're doing as 'playing hard to get'. Best advice is to pretend like they aren't there.

In the unfortunate event that you are facing kidnap:

Kick them in the balls and run to a populated area and be loud

saimans wrote:

Hi x0mi07 - The most of the Tips have already been given, but i wud like to add some and here they go...

1)Trust your instincts. If something feels wrong, something is probably wrong.
2) Be aware of your surroundings.
3) Walk close to the curb, facing oncoming traffic.
4) Carry bags close to your body.
5) Look confident.
6) Tell someone where you are going and when you expect to be back.
7) If you are being followed, head for a crowded place.
8) If people start milling around you, it could a set-up for a mugging.
9) Know yourself, how do you react in a crisis situation? Do you scream, cry, freeze? How would you defend yourself?
10) Remember there is no right or wrong approach to dangerous situations.
11) Show your anger, not your fear. A furious reaction often may stop an attack. Remember an attacker is looking for an easy victim. Yelling is always a good deterrent (a good choice is to yell FIRE) this will draw attention to those who do not want to get involved but may be concerned for their own safety and may come to help.
12) If there are other people around, yell loudly enough to get their attention to what the assailant is doing.
13)If you are alone and do not know anyone on the street or nearby, try calling a name out to make the attacker or assailant to believe you may be with someone. This may also help if you are alone at home.
14)If someone has a weapon stay calm and wait for an opportunity. Weapons make the situation more dangerous and difficult, but there still may be something you can do about the situation.
15) Make sure you keep a self defense product on your person at all times.

Taking Taxi
16) Carry the phone number of a taxi or mini cab firm you know, and whenever you book a taxi ask them for the driver's name and the type of car they will be driving
17) Try and book the taxi you need to bring you home before you go out. Give your name and when the driver arrives make sure they know the name it was booked under. If you have to book your taxi in a public place, do it quietly where people are unlikely to overhear your name and address
18) If you can, share a taxi with a friend and have your money ready and keys handy at the end of your journey so that you can enter your home quickly
19 If ever you feel uneasy in a taxi ask the driver to stop in a busy place that you know well, and get out

Preventing Rape
20) Make a loud noise - Carry a whistle, personal alarm or scream "police" to attract attention

21) Run - Only run if there is somewhere safe to run to. If there is no where to go you may aggravate the assailant further by running

22) Stall - Speak calmly and rationally. Try not to plead, cry or show that you're scared, this may be the reaction that he's going for.

23) Urinate or vomit - Do anything you can to repulse the assailant. Tell him that you have a STD or AIDS.

24) Fight - Women who resist attacks and act quickly are less likely to be raped, than those who are passive. The optimum time to react is in the first 20 seconds when the body releases chemicals in the blood that help to put up a fight. Be cautious if he has a weapon.

Remember SAFETY FIRST and Just remember "anticipation and avoidance" are the best forms of defense!!!

How about citing the source where you copied this, saimans.  There might be other things we want to read there.  Thanks!

Thank you Alliecat- this is very useful information
Much appreciated

@ Alliecat - You can easily google it. However, this info was from the circulated chain mail long time ago for Women Safety.

great post saimans! thanks so much for sharing!!!

Btwn-Fear-N-Hope wrote:

great post saimans! thanks so much for sharing!!!

All the people on the EB forum are here for sharing knowledge and helping people..... Thats the basic motive....

This country throws lots of questions @ u and people @ EB are trying to provide as many answers as possible.

Cheers

@x0mi07 >>> I heard a lot of ill-stuffs happening around the KFMC vicinity...for sure, not all people are out there for the same reason you are...
Walking or Jogging alone is just inviting trouble - as you said - you had your fair share of stalkers already...best thing is : DO NOT WALK Alone?
And did you know that males are also (and can also be) stalked by some indecent guys in that place? what more of a girl!
"I've also tried saying hello and making eye contact with a lot of older male people" - won't be very helpful...let it be, even if you see these people often, it can also invite trouble hehehe (a little negative eh?)...
I lived just nearby KFMC, and before i also wanted brisk walking or jogged around the place - but instead - I just got an xbox - and gets a fair share of exercise in some kinect games...

All the best...and we could just wish and hope that the incident of abduction is not true... 

Popolocroix wrote:

@x0mi07 >>> I heard a lot of ill-stuffs happening around the KFMC vicinity...for sure, not all people are out there for the same reason you are...
Walking or Jogging alone is just inviting trouble - as you said - you had your fair share of stalkers already...best thing is : DO NOT WALK Alone?
"I've also tried saying hello and making eye contact with a lot of older male people"- won't be very helpful...let it be, even if you see these people often, it can also invite trouble hehehe (a little negative eh?)...
I lived just nearby KFMC, and before i also wanted brisk walking or jogged around the place - but instead - I just got an xbox - and gets a fair share of exercise in some kinect games...

That's a very honest perspective there. Thanks. I truly appreciate it. I do have an xbox. I kinect 1-2 hours a day in addition to walking. I still walk alone though. There's really no one i know (family or friends) who wants to walk the whole four rounds with me. But my mom told me to bring a cutter since I started walking again and it's been quite useful a couple of times.

...Four rounds of KFMC walk?
Maybe, if you say: "just 2 rounds" will really attract some of your friends/relatives? heheh.... i recommend getting Dance Central 2 or Just Dance 3 for kinect
it can really pop up some sweats in u...

Popolocroix wrote:

...Four rounds of KFMC walk?
Maybe, if you say: "just 2 rounds" will really attract some of your friends/relatives? heheh.... i recommend getting Dance Central 2 or Just Dance 3 for kinect
it can really pop up some sweats in u...

yeah... 4 rounds. 3 rounds when i'm lazy or when i've done 2 hours on kinect. I do zumba fitness 1-2 hours. hey, i've been looking for dance central 2 or just dance 3 kinect games here in riyadh. they don't have in jarir or rotana. do you know where i can buy those games here? PM me so this thread won't stay offtrack.

x0mi07 wrote:

Because I live within the compound, I've been walking around King Fahad Medical City every evening for a few months now and I've experienced my fair share of creepers and stalkers. Avoidance or really loud direct confrontation usually does the trick when dealing with these guys (since KFMC has a heavy traffic of walkers and joggers).

However, last friday Feb 24, 2012, there was an incident of kidnapping in front of KFMC Gate 2 in Dabab St in front of the store Meed. A Palestini-Saudi girl who lives in KFMC was reportedly kidnapped by some guys riding a black GMC at around 7pm while she was on her way to Meed with her younger sister to buy some stuff. Everyone's been talking about it in the hospital but sadly, there's no news of it written anywhere on the internet. She hasn't been found yet.

The last time I walked around KFMC was Thursday. I've always walked unaccompanied because my folks are old and they have health issues. I was supposed to walk from 5pm-8pm that Friday she got kidnapped as well but I was really ill so I stayed home and rested. I keep thinking "It could've been me" or "I could've helped her." over and over upto this day.

I'm still traumatized by the situation. It's not a state I want to be in. I don't want to be paralyzed with fear over something like this. I've survived harassment in my own compound before. I've sent a guy to prison to receive lashes for it. But being groped can't ever compare to being kidnapped, raped, and possibly killed.

My question to the expatriate community is already stated in the subject of this post. How can single girls avoid the above situation from happening to them without locking themselves in their own homes for the rest of their lives? How do you manage your fear? How do you prepare yourself? Are there simple short term self-defense classes for women here?

I've lived in KFMC for quite some time now. We've lived through suicides and murders. A kidnapping is preventable. Can anyone help me so I can prevent it from happening to me? Sincere advice is much appreciated.

Sorry for my lengthy forum post. -___-;;

A disturbing read. I can only hope that her fate is not as bad as it seems.

But thank you for posting this incident x0mi07. It can only serve as a reminder and make people more aware of the dangers that we live in.

Just to add to the already useful posts that members have made, there is a beneficial article about fear control and dealing with the adrenaline dump/factor involved when you are confronted with such an incident. http://www.fighttimes.com/magazine/maga … rticle=258

The reason I mention this is that I've been involved in the Self Defense and in the Door Supervisor field in London for a long time. You need to combine all your knowledge with intense training and experiencing the feeling of the adrenaline dump. Only then will you be able to control it after constant experience. I run self defense courses, Krav Maga sessions and the like. If you are serious then take a class and feel the difference.

Apologies for re-igniting the post but it can only bring about more precaution.

Stay safe.